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The Asshole Monologues: Glori-US Bastard tells “feminist, American Woman, and White Knights” what’s what

I know I’ve asked this before, but what exactly leads so many MRAs and PUAs and so forth to monologue like mad scientists and/or comic book supervillains? In the past, I’ve noted this in the writings of “Ferdnand Bardamu” of the late, lamentable In Mala Fide. But this sort of thing is everywhere. It’s amazing how many manosphere manifestos seem to be leading up to a malevolent “muahahaha! And now I will have my revenge!”

The MRA who calls himself Glori-US Bastard provides us with a convenient recent example in a post with the somewhat baffling title “Dear feminist, American Woman, and White Knights-a message from those who no longer desire you.”

The whole thing is very monologuey, but here’s my favorite bit — aimed, presumably, at “American Woman” and perhaps her friend “feminist.”

We do not hate you, but we no longer care about you either.  For years, we tried to prove to you that we actually just wanted to be around you and not just have sex.  Your obsession with our visual response to your body as “evil” while you manipulated us for cash prizes has so desensitized us too your wants and needs; we have become the true pussy hounds you most fear!  The hounds that only “desire you” when we want a piece of you; discarding you after.  You can hold your affection and desire; they have become too twisted and crazy; you should see a shrink for drugs for that fetish you carry in your mind sweetheart.  Those surpluses of marriage dresses on TV are there for a reason! 

Uh, “marriage dresses?”

Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt. He continues:

Your emotional well being will not be a priority to men of the future.  I pray for your daughter’s sake that she is ok with working her whole life not having any kids; and making friends with a lot of foreign women who will start to slowly replace her.

You have failed.

Oh, ok, here’s a little more, from further on in the rant:

You have guaranteed a place for yourself at every table through subterfuge.  You have stolen seats of power not through hard work and perseverance but by the threat of the State’s gunpoint and accountants.  Many men who devoted their lives to their success have lost everything, you think they should vote your way because?

You have failed.

Look, I could go all day!

That I do not doubt.

It is the end of day, and you are running out of others money; and you have run out of your men’s patience!  However, you will not see the anger outside of the redness of our faces.  You are physically secure from harm; for now, until your violent brood of fatherless “youth” turn on you and all of us.  We will defend ourselves, but not you!  This is a trap.

You don’t see it do you?  The fact that men are now indifferent means that you will now have to earn your keep.  Your rejection of your men, will now lead to their rejection of you.

Muahahaha! And then I will have my revenge!

I can’t help but think of Bela Lugosi’s famous monologue from Ed Wood’s Bride of the Monster:

Take some notes, MRAs. That is how it is done.

EDITED TO ADD: Glori-US B. has written a sort of rebuttal to this post.

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Creative Writing Student

I’d like to point out that when women did this ‘hard work’ without government passing laws against discrimination… women were either rejected or had to present as male.

Nice rant though. Could use a nice evil MWHAHAHAHAHAHA and “THE ACADEMY LAUGHED AT ME, BUT WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?!” but overall a good rant.

clairedammit
clairedammit
9 years ago

Dude’s monologue doesn’t explain anything! I just have more questions.

You can hold your affection and desire; they have become too twisted and crazy; you should see a shrink for drugs for that fetish you carry in your mind sweetheart.

1. You have to take drugs if you feel affection and desire now? Because it’s a fetish? And you take drugs for fetishes? (Maybe he confused fetish with rash.)

I pray for your daughter’s sake that she is ok with working her whole life not having any kids;

2. All the boys are going to have vasectomies now? Because there’s no way INS would let enough “foreign” women immigrate. And wouldn’t their daughters be…American? And thus worthless?

Your rejection of your men, will now lead to their rejection of you.

3. Wait, I thought we felt desire and affection, that was twisted, or something. Which is it, affection or rejection?

Help me out here, y’all.

Creative Writing Student

I’m trying to work out what a “mind sweetheart” is…

Polliwog
Polliwog
9 years ago

Those surpluses of marriage dresses on TV are there for a reason!

My best guess as to what the hell this means:

1. At some point, our monologue-y friend here saw part of an episode of “Say Yes to the Dress.”
2. He noticed that the store in the show contained lots of gowns that were not currently being worn by women.
3. He deduced, using his logical man-brain, that the existence of bridal gowns in a bridal shop not being worn by women at a given moment meant that there were lots of women not getting married at that moment, since otherwise they’d be wearing those gowns.
4. Ergo, no one is marrying women, MWAHAHAHA.

It almost makes sense, provided you beat your head in with a brick before trying to think about it!

Creative Writing Student

What’s an “others money”?

For the love of pants, PUNCTUATE, MAN!

Citizen Justin
9 years ago

I don’t think anyone who isn’t regularly on MRA sites (or Man Boobz) will have a clue what this chap’s on about.

Proof that such people have created their own reality – or as the original saying was, “in a world of their own.”

blitzgal
9 years ago

Shorter Asshole: Blah blah blah, why won’t you fuck me?

Creative Writing Student

@Citizen Justin

I’m not sure he really knows what he’s on about…

MordsithJ
9 years ago

I just saw a whole bunch of cars at a car dealership. This proves that no one is driving cars.

gelar
gelar
9 years ago

The hounds that only “desire you” when we want a piece of you; discarding you after…

If they could forgo that bit entirely, it’d be awesome.

inurashii
inurashii
9 years ago

This screed is a quotation goldmine.

Cambridge residents, if you see some dude going around shouting “We have become the pussy hounds that you most fear!!!” while making villain hands, that’s me.

driversuz
driversuz
9 years ago

Hello, Pot. Allow me to introduce Kettle. Boobz, I started following this site with vague hopes for rational dialog and debate. Turns out there is nothing here substantial enough TO debate. You are ridiculous, and so are your sycophants.

pollydactyl
pollydactyl
9 years ago

Regarding the phrase pussy hounds, I actually thought that to myself last night about a group of guys walking by outside my apartment. They were chanting “We want pussy!” loudly and I thought to myself that they were pussy hounds. What a coincidence!

amandajane5
amandajane5
9 years ago

Again, how can we possibly miss these charmers if they just won’t go away?

I mean, I’m certainly quavering in my stylish yet affordable boots that Mr. Dude isn’t interested in me, because he thinks I want him to be, but really, who wants that kind of asshole? The inability to punctuate properly alone makes me go, nope!

Creative Writing Student

CRY HAVOC, AND LET SLIP THE HOUNDS OF PUSSY!

clairedammit
clairedammit
9 years ago

I started following this site with vague hopes for rational dialog and debate.

So you’re hoping for rational dialog and debate from a site that has “Misogyny. I mock it.” in the title? And now your upset that we haven’t rationally debated you before your first ever comment? How’s that working out for you?

(Sorry, I seem to only be able to snark from within rhetorical questions today.)

Need to know (@Oraclenine)

Imagine the screed as it might be delivered by William Shatner or PeeWee Herman. Helps keep down the urge to smash the computer for bringing this shit into your home.

leftwingfox
9 years ago

CRY HAVOC, AND LET SLIP THE HOUNDS OF PUSSY!

Now I’m going to have the theme to “CatDog” running through my head all day.

leftwingfox
9 years ago

I started following this site with vague hopes for rational dialog and debate.

Oh! Oh, I’m sorry. This is abuse. Arguments are just down the hall to the left. No problem at all!

Stupid git.

inurashii
inurashii
9 years ago

@driversuz:
the word ‘mock’ is in the byline of this site. I honestly don’t know what you were expecting.

I’m pretty sure we’re decent debaters here, though. Did you want to actually, you know, float a point or something?

drst
drst
9 years ago

We do not hate you, but we no longer care about you either.

The previous post on Manboobz suggests this sentence is a lie. As does the end of his rant about not protecting women when our children rise up against us (I don’t have kids, so will I just be watching? What if I were to take up arms to protect my friends who are mothers? *gasp*)

sthlivingincolor
9 years ago

Well, if there were any actual reasoning–you know, premises, evidence, and conclusions–in any of this MRA stuff, you could have a rational debate about it. But all it seems to boil down to is WOMEN SUCK I CAN’T GET WHAT I WANT WAHHH!

Ugh
Ugh
9 years ago

According to Trollspeak babelfish:
“open to rational debate” = “Accept the framing that a bunch of people who want more rape and abuse in society is an actual political position”

Amused
9 years ago

For the love of pants, PUNCTUATE, MAN!

Grammar is misandry.

elodieunderglass
9 years ago

Why yes, funnily enough, I’d like to think that my highly fictional future daughters will be capable of making friends with other women! One of the saddest things about growing up as a poor kid in the rural US was the limited mindset and lack of exposure to other cultures. How I hope that my hypothetical children will have broader horizons and richer dreams!

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