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domestic violence drama evil women hypocrisy idiocy misogyny MRA oppressed men paranoia precious bodily fluids reddit shit that never happened spermjacking TROOOLLLL!!

Guess who got trolled on April Fool’s Day? Hint: It rhymes with “Glen’s Brights Pubreddit”

So it turns out that the heartbreaking yet highly implausible story of attempted spermburgling that got the Men’s Rights subreddit so riled up on the first of the month … was in fact fake.

Mr. ineedhelpnow1234 himself wrote me a note today alerting me to a post on his blog explaining the whole thing, and why he did it. Some highlights:

I wanted to reveal just how twisted these men can be in the pursuit of their agenda so I came up with a story they could not resist. …

The spermjacker trope is irresistible to “men’s rights” activists because they believe they are perfect Darwinian examples of masculinity and as a result are irresistible to the hormonally irrational schemers that make up womankind. Narcissism and misogyny collide to make a toxic brew.

Oh, and I added the twist that this man punched his girlfriend so hard in the stomach that she bruised. Surely such fierce proponents of “gender equality” would not support violence against women. Right?

Well, we all know how that turned out. Ineedhelpnow1234/the blogger Eschatology continued:

The “men’s rights” movement is morally bankrupt. It is made up of people who support hitting women. It is made up of people who refuse to say it is wrong to hit women. It is made up of people who are so paranoid of women that they think people actually talk like this:

You fucking bastard, how dare you punch me for what I’m entitled to! Call me the minute you get this god damn message or I’ll call the fucking police and end your future. CALL MEEEE.

Attention MRA’s: You have all exposed yourselves as rotten human beings and you have discredited your movement (again). …

I wrote this story by stitching together nearly every cliche I have ever come across in the “men’s rights” movement. I tried to see if the MRAs had any line they would not cross. Apparently they do not. Looks like the SPLC made a good call.

Heck, even after they got called out for supporting the (imaginary) puncher,  both here and on Jezebel, and were roundly mocked for believing such an utterly ridiculous tall tale, this is about as close as any Men’s Rights redditor got to criticizing the punch that never was:

He panicked and hit her. Sure he should have just have restrained her and took the condom out of her hands but we’re human and its not like he continually beat her into a pulp.

Yep, no big deal, “its not like he continually beat her into a pulp.”

The comment containing that line got 11 upvotes, and zero downvotes.

The Men’s Rights Movement, beyond the pale — but also beyond parody.

EDITED TO ADD: The Men’s Rights regulars respond to the big reveal here. They are apparently determined to learn absolutely nothing from the whole episode. At the moment this is the most highly upvoted comment:

 

EDITED TO ADD AGAIN: Ineedhelpnow1234/Eschatology posted about this in the TwoXChromosomes subreddit, Naturally, a small horde of r/mensrightsers invaded the thread and pooped all over it.

 

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jumbofish
10 years ago

*waits for mra apologia in this thread*

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

HAHAHA. These guys don’t know when to quit, do they? They really don’t mind making themselves look bad and kinda dumb. Stupid and mean is no way to go through life, guys.

In before Zarat claims how right he was.

L
L
10 years ago

It doesn’t matter to them if what they think is evil, criminal, violent or not, they don’t care. There is no reasoning with people so fuel by solipsism and hatred.

Quackers
Quackers
10 years ago

Eschatology is all sorts of awesome

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
10 years ago

Goddess bless they’re fucking pathetic.

magdelynswallows
10 years ago

Fifth!!!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

I’m still baffled as to how the CALL MEEEE!!! comment didn’t tip them off.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Cassandra, it’s not like they have comprehension skills. They’re so blinded by “wimmins iz evil,” that they don’t think critically.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

I actually told my friend about the whole thing yesterday. When I got to CALL MEEEE!!! he burst out laughing.

Feminists – doing evil unto men by only hanging out with the smart ones since Seneca Falls.

magdelynswallows
10 years ago

People, it is a shallow victory. Remember, all glory is fleeting. The men’s rights movement continues to march on, growing bigger. It influences debate and policy. Trolling the gullible MRA’s is not an accomplishment.

abeegoesbuzz
abeegoesbuzz
10 years ago

I’m prolly gonna be in the minority here, but Ineedhelpnow1234/the blogger Eschatology made a bad call.

The obviously fake story will weave its way into the MRA’s tiny brains and become another example of that thing we all totally know happens all the time (i.e., sperm stealing, child support fraud, justice system bias). They’ll remember the story, but not the denouement.

And frankly? It’s not like we need made-up examples of shitty things MRAs do. Or need to create stories in order to compel them to say incredibly stupid things. Just look at anything they say. Literally anything they say is incredibly stupid and misogynistic, and they are ready to at least make a vague threat of violence given the smallest excuse.

It’s kind of funny that some MRAs so readily bought into a ludicrous story simply because it fed into their ridiculous views, but if you’ve read any of Christopher in Oregon’s tales, you already knew they would…

Timid Atheist (@TimidAtheist)

I’m a little uneasy about the comments that compare the sperm stealing to rape.

I was also intrigued by the comments of one or two other MRA’s saying that they should have asked for more evidence as they do when women claim rape.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Trolling the gullible MRA’s is not an accomplishment.

Maybe not but, but it is schadenfreudey goodness. Are there any non-gullible MRAs?

Timid Atheist (@TimidAtheist)

I’m prolly gonna be in the minority here, but Ineedhelpnow1234/the blogger Eschatology made a bad call.

The obviously fake story will weave its way into the MRA’s tiny brains and become another example of that thing we all totally know happens all the time (i.e., sperm stealing, child support fraud, justice system bias). They’ll remember the story, but not the denouement.

Exactly. And despite him making that reveal for fear they’d add that as another example they could use, you’re right, they’ll remember the story, not that it was then revealed to be fake.

Also, I’ve seen all of three news stories told over and over again of women stealing sperm, but they did it sneakily, without the man realizing it and then sued them for child custody. which was just horrendous all the way around. But hardly something that happens on even a semi-regular basis.

katz
10 years ago

Drinking game: A shot for every MRA who says something like “OK, so this wasn’t real, but if it was, what was the guy supposed to do?”

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
10 years ago

The part I like the most is the word “spermburgling.”

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Katz, I think that would lead to alcohol poisoning.

magdelynswallows
10 years ago

I guess MRA’s could also extrapolate that some feminists are liars.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

What are those evil feminists in your head lying about now, Mags? That MRAs don’t give a shit about gender equality? That they’re OK with violence against women?

Sharculese
10 years ago

The men’s rights movement continues to march on, growing bigger. It influences debate and policy.

it’s actually kind of adorable how despite your record of consummate failure, you morons still believe this

magdelynswallows
10 years ago

Vast majority of men (and mra’s) against violence against women. The genius of feminism is poisening the political culture into believe that most men are violent and rapists.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Mags, that’s utter bullshit, and even you know it.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
10 years ago

“I guess MRA’s could also extrapolate that some feminists are liars.”

There are feminists who lie?! I thought they were bound by the Oath Rod, like Aes Sedai! This changes everything.

I mean really, If they’re only just discovering this, they have a lot of learning to do about people, period. People of all stripes have lied to make points. MRAs have openly discussed starting Straw Feminist blogs. Call me when something new happens.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

Vast majority of men (and mra’s) against violence against women.

I absolutely believe the vast majority of men are against violence against women — and just needless violence, regardless of target. I don’t know about MRAs. I believe you’re against it, Magz, but I don’t know if your buddies are.

magdelynswallows
10 years ago

Ah, Ms. Sharculese, people like David and the SPLC wouldn’t be attacking MRA’s but for their growing power. You know it. I know it. David knows it. You can denigrate as you please, but in the end it is irrelevant.

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