So the fellas on the Men’s Rights subreddit have re-re-re-re-rediscovered the existence of fake pregnancy tests that always have positive results.
Happily, some dude calling himself Stripes1974 has what appears to be a foolproof plan to defeat any evil female who comes to him with one of these fake tests:
Many of the women who would do this, are being manipulative and intending to use such a falacy, such a falsehood, in order to try and maintain a sense of power in the relationships they are a part of.
I’d offer this potential “counter” to such a type of women– though I would say that this may not work with every woman of this type- judge carefully if it is something you should do:
Hey, I said it was ALMOST foolproof.
Oh! Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh! You’re pregnant? You’re really pregnant?”
Dance, make lots of excited and pleased noises. Run around. “Oh my gosh! You’re really pregnant? I mean, really? Wait! I have to call my parents, and tell them the good news!”
Yes, make sure to tell as many people as you can think of that she is pregnant. When she later tries to explain how she was dishonest, her manipulations will be exposed, and she won’t come away seeming all that wonderful a person to have lied this way.
You can probably already see how diabolically clever this plan is.
“I can’t believe it! All this time, I didn’t realize it was this easy! Oh! Now we have to start saving our money so we can buy our baby the best! We’ll have to cancel that get-a-way we were planning! We have to save for the baby!”
Having easy access to money/funds taken from her, and then obsessively watched over, in support of her lie, will make her unhappy and uncomfortable.
Wait, you’re supposed to be paying your girlfriend for being your girlfriend? Uh oh. I think I’ve been doing it wrong.
“Oh! And from now on, you have to stay at home! No, you can’t go out to the club for girls’ night- you’re supporting two people now, and you have to sit and save your fragile self so the baby can be healthy!”
Stripping her of her freedom to govern her own movements within and without of the home, will grate on her nerves.
Yeah, it probably would, huh? Too bad that’s the rule. Once you are pregnant, you are not allowed to stand up, much less leave the house, until at least one actual baby comes out of your body. (And it has to be a baby. Extra large poops don’t count.)
What generally will happen, in this sudden and overwhelming blitzkrieg of support towards a pregnancy that doesn’t exist, is that at some point, sooner rather than later, the woman in question will crack, and she will vehemently deny that she is pregnant, and likely will admit that she lied/purchased a positive test, when she is in fact not pregnant. This will provide an opening for an “emotional” display by the male half of this relationship:
“What do you mean, you lied! What do you mean, I don’t really have a son on the way!?” -complete with tears and heart-wrenching warbles in the voice
and will allow him to bring this very fucked-up relationship to its bitter and thankful end.
Huh. Well, far be it from me to question such a brilliant plan from someone who obviously understands women so well, but I’m just wondering: what happens if she’s actually pregnant? I know it might seem a bit unlikely, but I have heard rumors that sometimes women use real pregnancy tests to see if they are really pregnant, and some of the time they really are.
Ah, who am I kidding? Like that ever happens.