It’s getting funky over in the Semen Retention subreddit. Not funky like James Brown funky. Funky as in musty teenager’s bedroom funky.
Today one Reddit semen-retainer reported that he had begun to emit a not-always pleasant odor. “I smell like semen,” wrote Nomorewitches. “[A]ll of the sudden get whiffs of the smell of semen especially when i sweat. could this be my pheromones?”
The mods of the subreddit quickly took down the post (which is still available via the Internet Archive), but not before a number of other faponauts had reported the same thing happening to them.
“Yeah around when I reach ten days or so [of not masturbating] I notice I have a weird scent,” wrote Fuckface400.
Nomorewitches declared that the whole thing was “weird lmao, and the female attraction crazy.”
“haha yeah,” agreed someone called eijeroand.
if yo good looking too, look around the class room, they stare, when youre not looking at them, you can see the thirst in their eyes so easily. Haha
You can see the thirst in their eyes.
One Semen Retainer suggested that it wasn’t any funky scent that was winning over the ladies, but rather something more spiritual. “I think this phenomenon occurs at a the source consciousness level we are all connected to,” wrote TruthSeeker_199.
[B]ecause [it] isn’t only women and goals attraction face to face. I’ve experienced girls that used to ignore me now are trying to go at me, texting, calling. Opportunities coming out of no where. It got a be some metaphisic component here.
Or maybe they’re trying to serve you with an order of protection?
One renegade commenter, challenging all these interpretations, suggested a simple cause for the semen scent phenomenon: unchecked wet dreams. Wrote should_: “It’s because you’re unloading over every inch of yourself when you sleep.”
As much as I hate to agree with anyone posting in the Semen Retention subreddit, I have to say he may have a point there.
Follow me on Twitter.
Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.
We Hunted the Mammoth relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!