A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, and sometimes that thing he’s gotta do is to write a 1300-word rant about evil single moms who want to find new fathers for their kids.
It takes him a little while to get to the point, but life isn’t about the destination; it’s about the journey. Although, to be fair, his rant is less a ride down the highway of life as it is a ten-car pileup.
So I’m sitting here, I guess you can say a bit free. Free of the spell, of having a warm BODY to lay with.. Warmth is nice. Having a warmno body to lay next to, feel, is a nice thing.
A nice, shapely woman to put your hands on, is always good. it’s not very fun to put your hands around something very large. Say you’re going to lay down, and you have to place your arms around a whale of a being.
He hasn’t even gotten in the vicinity of the point yet, but he’s already digressing.
( I’m not knocking fat chicks, not my thing.) (( but I’ve been there.)) – Well, I had me a whale of a woman at one time, roughly, 13 years ago, when I was a young punk shit, and couldn’t get…..
…. let’s say I just evolve Beyond what that lady was for me. Some guys like whales.
Oh yes, single mothers. Sorry. I met the jackpot of single mothers. Blond. Petite. Green eyes. Like to to go on motorcycle rides…
But there was just one goddamn motherfuking problem. I’m looking into the eyes of some fucking child. Some fucking bastard child. A child, that is longing for a father. A child, that would come up to me with his iPhone, trying to show me YouTube videos.
No, no, no! NO CHILD WILL EVER SHOW ME YOUTUBE VIDEOS.
Whose responsibility is it, to supplicate the love that is necessary for this thing?
Uh, “supplicate” means “ask or beg for something earnestly or humbly.” Not sure that’s the word you mean here, chief.
I’ll tell you whose responsibility it is not. It is not mine. Here is a clue I’m going to drop on you guys.
When I met this Psychopathic bitch we will call, the single mother. Don’t get me wrong. Loved her too fucking death. She is fucking beautiful. And amazing in every way, and a motherfuking artist, literally she sells paintings, is educated, speaks two languages, did my laundry, clean my fucking room, showed me some good food…..
So she’s “amazing in every way” except also, somehow, a “psychopathic bitch.”
….. but there was this fucking kid. This fucking child in the way.
Gosh how could you possibly have foreseen that coming while dating a single mother. What might have clued you in to the fact that SINGLE MOTHERS tend to have CHILDREN.
I’ll get back to that in a second. Before you call me some heartless, senseless, shitbag. An analogy. When I was a security guard, 10 years ago, I stumbled upon a litter of kittens. They were cute, adorable, full of life.
Aw, fuck, now he’s got tiny adorable kittens all mixed up in his bullshit.
These kittens, we’re about five of them, in a bush. I picked up one of these kittens, and because they were feral, the motherfuker bit me on my goddamn fucking finger. Blood squirted the fuck all over the place and I feared I got rabies.
I guess even tiny baby kittens can tell that you’re an asshole.
Life Goes On. And as beautiful, put together, strong, independent, cunning, intelligent, artistic, athletic this single mother of a woman I met, she is still a mammal. And what do mammals do in the wild? They make fucking litter of kittens.
Once again, our hero here seems somehow surprised that a single MOTHER would have at least one CHILD.
The absolute universal law, that governs every molecular manifestation that we as human beings live for today, involves, that same invisible, unexplainable driving force. Is procreation. That being said, the most motherfuking, goddamn, fucking draining thing ever, you can do in this life, is to attempt, to utilize your life resource, in bringing up the life of another.
So maybe you could try NOT DATING SINGLE MOTHERS.
Imagine, if I were to take on, adopting one of those stupid fucking kittens that I picked up in the wild? How many hours would it take, to raise this kitten, from placing it in a box, winning it on regular milk, heading it so that it would adapt..
I don’t even care what he meant to say there because I”m just glad he didn’t teke those poor innocent kittens in and then yell at them for being kittens.
Do I sound like the kind of guy, who has the patience for this fucking shit? Now imagine, investing the time and life effort into bringing up something, that has nothing to do with your own personal genealogy, Legacy, or spiritual imprint you’re going to leave on this Earth, rather that of another man?
Wait, are we still talking about kittens? Because if we are I’m getting very confused. Your cats aren’t going to help you pass your precious genes on to the next generation. And hopefully no human woman will either.
Brace yourself now. We’ve got a sharp fucking curve coming up.
And while you are doing that job, do us all a favor, ask a black man with a 10-foot dick, to come in the room bang your girlfriend, while you watch and suck your thumb, then pay him while he does it.
That is the equivalent of if you are going to become involved in another man’s child’s life.
No, it really, really isn’t.
[Edit: For Racially sensitive woke bots. This previous comment was not “Singling out the black man.” In fact, I am complimenting the black man for having superior dong sizes. If only I could have a penis the size of my forearm. My apologies. I digress.]
Yeah, nothing racist going on here.
There’s not enough words for me to describe the Slime that is a man, who allows a public court system to have his child taken away. Such was the situation when I met the aforementioned I’m speaking of.
What was the situation? Whose kid is this now? What are you talking about.
but a year was enough. One day I was driving in my car, having another Dramatical, emotionally charged, rollercoaster of a conversation with the single mother I was dating, and all of a sudden these words slipped out of my mouth.
” I will never raise another man’s child.”
Say it with me Brethren, and say it loud.
“I WILL NEVER RAISE ANOTHER MAN’S CHILD.”
Now say this with me, dude: I WILL NEVER DATE ANOTHER SINGLE MOTHER BECAUSE IF I’M NOT WILLING TO DEAL WITH THEIR KIDS I SHOULDN’T BE DATING THE MOTHER FOR A YEAR.
Now that particular combination of words, must have been potent enough to elicit a grading of emotional response from the receiver, because we have not talked nore seen each other in two weeks. I think she got the message.
Maybe you should have given her this particular message before you started dating her. And certainly before stringing her along for a year.
I was not trying to be flagrantly abusive, rather I was driving down the road when she was sending me some texts about, “not being man enough”, “accountable enough”, nor having the “emotional capacity” to love a family etc etc. …
Thee words just pooped out.
They pooped, that’s for sure.
It’s been a few weeks. I’m not going to lie. I do miss having a nice warm body to lay down next to, and give slight kisses on the cheek, exchanging “sweet nothings.” – but this one, I forgot, comes at a heavy price.
A heavy price you could have avoided altoether by just not dating single moms as I believe I might have mentioned one or two times before
That is the price of being cucked. CUCKED into an expectation of a role that I have no motherfuking interest to fulfill. Hell, why don’t you just make me go become a substitute teacher.
While we’re at it, let me buy 10 pairs of khaki pants, participate at the local elementary school as a softball coach, and donate my weekends to knitting classes at the local Senior Center.
What are you even talking about?
( those are all Noble Deeds, don’t feel bad if you do any of those actual things.)
Yes, I’m sitting in the parking lot right now eating my pita chips and hummus. With my Trader Joe’s salad pack.
What relevant details.
One thing I would like to say, is that, I will not blame a woman for her actions in the reproductive game. When we are caught up in the midst of chemical neurosis and the smell of pussy, we’re not seeing the big picture.
Dude, you’re not even seeing the little picture.
little Timmy needs a daddy, and Mommy’s income just got cut in half. If you say you did not see the signs, you are a stupid fucking idiot. And don’t take that personally, because I willingly chose to be a stupid fucking idiot.
The first thing you’ve said that I agree with.
Now I have no regrets because, I was able to exchange bodily fluids with a European princess, who, unfortunately, has a young prince that needs guidance. But I’m no knight, I’m the guy who was shoveling manure outside of the castle courtyards so the crops will grow better for the kingdom Harvest.
This isn’t a metaphor; it’s just free association.
the dating strategy for single mothers will always be complex and evolve. Maybe the new single mothers don’t realize the implications of having a small human life and how it may become Kryptonite for a man, so they don’t really try to hide it at first.
I’m sure whatever strategy they come up with will work best if it enables them to avoid guys like you.
After enough guys have bounced, they stop putting it on their Tinder profile. ( or do they? I’m not sure.)
If a single mother is looking for a hookup, she might leave it off. But any single mom who’s looking for a long-term relationship is going to leave it on, because otherwise they might get stuck with a guy like you.
– every single mother has a right, to tell every man, “My child will always come first.”
And Every Man Has a right to say’ ” SEE YA!”
And everyone together has the right to say “you’re really kind of an asshole!”
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