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Captain Marvel haters’ devastating new takedown of Brie Larson: “She’s named after a cheese”

The existence of this cheese proves that Brie Larson is a terrible actress, somehow

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By David Futrelle

Angry superhero movie fans have discovered what they see as a deeply unsettling fact about the lead actress in the Captain Marvel film that hits theaters this Friday, whom they have collectively decided to hate because she thinks people other than white men should have some say in movie criticism, or something: Brie Larson’s first name is the same as the name of a popular French cheese!

Apparently this is all the more reason to hate her.

Eric B
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@Eric_Belleau
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More Eric B Retweeted Israel & USA forever
@brielarson is an insufferable cunt. A below average actress at best named after a cheese.

Oh, but it gets worse: Some of them have given her unflattering cheese-based nicknames!

J.C. (the Creature) remembers Stan Lee
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@TheCreatureHero
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Replying to @rizzydraws
Yeah. Brie Larson is scum. I like to call her "crazy cheese woman" because her first name is actually also the name of a type of cheese

Not only that, but the cheese in question is RUNNY!

patricia stewart
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@beesknees1960
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Replying to @RubinReport
And who can take a girl named after runny french cheese seriously? @brielarson just another SJW wannabe. stifle yourself birdbrain!

The dudes with NPC avatars are on the case:

Mark ™️
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@PUR3FILTH
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Replying to @JoeNumbas
Brie Larson is so unlikeable, I’d take Brie Bella over her.. heck I’d take the cheese Brie over her

This fellow is struck by the irony that the cheese in question is WHITE.

Arqahn
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@Arqahn
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Replying to @MarvelStudios
Brie Larson (white woman named after white cheese) worried about too many white men involved with the movie publicity tour. In keeping with her wishes I hope white people boycott this movie.   
#boycott 
#WhitePrivilege

I was a little concerned that Mr Solo’s burn (below) wasn’t quite sick enough. But then I saw the crying-laughing emoji. BAM!

Dan Solo
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Replying to @RuinTheManbaby @brielarson
She is no star. She is a cheese

Then this bad boy with an Elon Musk wearing an eyepatch avatar kicked it up another notch by adding a thumbs-up emoji after the laughing-crying one. DOUBLE BAM!

Jon Brovi
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@tokemonbro
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Brie Larson is no Gal Gadot. Brie has the charisma and charm of mouldy french cheese. Hence the name

And get this: Some of Brie’s critics don’t even bother to use her first name — they just call her “Cheese Larson!” TRIPLE BAM! Fourth graders have nothing on these insult-slingers!

(((Val Washington)))
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Replying to @JackPosobiec
MARVEL WAS FULLY CREATED BY WHITE MALES: Stan Lee being the greatest if them all. Blonde Cheese Larson wouldn't have thus gig if a white male at Marvel hadn't approve this stupid cross dressed Captain Marvel. Why can't she be humble and thankful for the opportunity?
#stanlee
Noway Neophobic "Jeremy" loves Alita Battleangel
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Replying to @MrGournalist @desert_starr_57
I love WW. Shes an AWESOME Character. Like Alita.

But not this Matriarchy Bot Cheese Larson.

Damn, the crazy cheese lady is also a “Matriarchy Bot?” Wouldn’t the runny cheese gum up the gears?

I guess I probably shouldn’t try to think these through too much. Clearly the people posting them didn’t.

Regardless, it’s not clear to me if “Cheese” Larson will ever be able to recover from these devastating burns.

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tim gueguen
3 years ago

I wonder if some of these folks realise Stan Lee, and a number of the other major figures in Marvel history, was Jewish. Or that Lee had some progressive ideas in the context of ’60s comic books, creating both Gabe Jones of the Howling Commandos and the Black Panther, the latter being the first black superhero character published by one of the major comic companies.

As for Ms. Larson are we sure she wasn’t named after Brie, a character from the original Battlestar Galactica?

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

I think Lee is now considered the co-creator of Black Panther, with Jack Kirby the primary creator.

Of course, Kirby was Jewish too, and probably would’ve enjoyed nothing more than punching some of these twits in the face.

Lainy
Lainy
3 years ago

Cue that clip of Stan Lee from spiderman homecoming say “don’t make me come down there you punk”

Godzilla Roberts
Godzilla Roberts
3 years ago

Okay but didn’t a lot of these little shits hate Wonder Woman too? And here they are singing rhapsodic about it… I’m… just confused.

James Hutchings
3 years ago

Wonder Woman is also, like Superman, an illegal immigrant.

Ariblester
3 years ago

James Hutchings wrote on
March 5, 2019 at 11:05 pm:

Wonder Woman is also, like Superman, an illegal immigrant.

But did they at least apply for asylum at a legal port of entry? /s

epronovost
epronovost
3 years ago

@James Hutchings

I think Superman was legal-ish considering he crossed he border as an unacompanied minor. In those case he would have needed a foster family and seeing the impossiblity to reconnect him with his family would have been adopted as US citizen without much problem.

Wonder Woman is in serious trouble though. She crossed borders illegally carrying weapons and, if we take her comic book orgin story, stole the identity of a nurse. These are serious crimes.

What was the starting point of all this hatred toward Captain Marvel and Brie Larson (beside misogyny of course)?

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

Oh shit it’s like one could make the interpretation that immigrants aren’t literally demons or something.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

Dibs on Matriarchy Bot Cheese for my splittercore band name.

Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
3 years ago

I wouldn’t mind being called after brie cheese. Brie is delicious, and yummy on crackers. Far better than being associated with misogynist, racist pieces of shit, IMO.

Kestrel
Kestrel
3 years ago

@epronovost I think the man babies got upset because Captain Marvel is a woman. Then Brie Larson got tired of talking to all white male reviewers and demanded a second round of press that was primarily women and PoC. Apparently, some “fans” feel that is anti white male. She has explained that no one is turned away because they are a white man they are only adding seats to the table in order to get a diverse set of reviews.

Finally as noted in the first tweet David posted, she had the audacity (insert pearl clutching) to tell a white man on Twitter that the movie A Wrinkle in Time was not made for him.

They have been trying to destroy this movie ever since.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

@patricia stewart

And who can take a girl named after runny French cheese seriously?

So you’d be okay with her politics if she were named after a dry cheese from some other country?

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
3 years ago

Next up: Casting Cheddar Man as Dr. Who.

dust bunny
dust bunny
3 years ago

an actress’s first name also means a type of cheese

Well this is by far the most reasonable point made by a misogynist I’ve read on this blog yet. Maybe also the first one that’s actually true?

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
3 years ago

All that wailing and gnashing of teeth by the man babies has convinced me to see the movie.

Tomorrow. On opening day. Directly after work. In the nice comfy theatre.

As for names…

Calling a kid Brie is kind of cruel, I think.

Over here the birth registrars can veto names if they deem them too outlandish or cruel.

And then there is the actress with the first name ‘Mädchen’. I hope she never goes to Germany…

Hetneo
Hetneo
3 years ago

Just realised that these ‘Murikans really hate women that share names with cities/towns in Europe. Chelsea Clinton, Chelsea Manning, Brie Larson… I’m certain there is some Paris equally hated, but can’t think of one at the moment.

Kevin R.
3 years ago

What really offends me is how lazy these cheese jokes are. I mean, ferchrissakes, Brie Larson is her stage name. “Brie” is short for Brianne, and her real last name is Desaulniers.* Her father is French-Canadian, and she grew up speaking French as her first language. I learned all that just from reading her Wikipedia bio.

And yet so few people actually made a remark about French cheese specifically, without even mentioning her heritage, or making a “what do you have to hide?” remark. Sad!

*She used “Larson” as her stage name mainly because she was worried that people wouldn’t be able to spell or pronounce “Desaulniers” — and given the experience of Hayden Panettiere, I don’t blame her.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

I’m mainly disappointed that the film didn’t have a role for Alison Brie. If you’re making a cheese-themed superhero movie, really lean into it, ok?

Happy Cat
Happy Cat
3 years ago

The funny thing is, actor Sean Connery’s last name sounds like the French word “connerie”, which means “bullshit”. I’m not making this up. Do those nasty guys nickname him “Sean Bullshit”?

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
3 years ago

@Moggie

Having Alison Brie appear as a pro wrestler would’ve been epic, given her current role as the 1980s actor behind Zoya the Destroya.

Ikarikid the Dumb
Ikarikid the Dumb
3 years ago

The next Doctor will be Kenneth Wensleydale. Whoever that is. Calling it now.

(Yes, I like Wensleydale, although I somehow wasted about 20 years before tasting it)

Incidentally, one of Brie’s first jobs was vocals for a Barbie song. I believe it was “Hope Has Wings” from “Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus”. She used the name then too.

Specialffrog
Specialffrog
3 years ago

For a while I had Alison Brie and Brie Larson mixed up. I started watching Glow and was impressed how she was able to look totally different in a Scott Pilgrim.

I have since worked it out.

Malitia
Malitia
3 years ago

Godzilla Roberts wrote on
March 5, 2019 at 10:58 pm:

Okay but didn’t a lot of these little shits hate Wonder Woman too? And here they are singing rhapsodic about it… I’m… just confused.

They did. And Alita too. But now that they can use these as a weapon against Captain Marvel they’re attempting collective gaslighting.

Onager
Onager
3 years ago

@Nequam

Of course, Kirby was Jewish too, and probably would’ve enjoyed nothing more than punching some of these twits in the face.

Indeed he would. From an interview with Kirby:

The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it.

And from a biography of him:

On occasion the Timely office would get phone calls and letters from Nazi sympathizers threatening the creators of Captain America. Once, while Jack was in the Timely office, a call came from someone in the lobby. When Kirby answered, the caller threatened Jack with bodily harm if he showed his face. Kirby told the caller he would be right down, but by the time Jack reached street level, there was no one to be found.

Famously the cover he drew for Captain America #1 (1941) shows Cap punching Hitler.

It is said he killed four Nazis during WW2.

Simon
Simon
3 years ago

Can’t bear the cinema. (People, eat dinner then go to the movies. Homestly, I would pay extra for a no food showing.) Nevertheless, I’m going for a midweek early next week, hoping there won’t be too many grazers in. Anything to upset these whiny shitheads. Diversify all the things they love and “ruin” it for them.

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