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Men need to creep on “prime jailbait” to protect themselves from getting “stuck with an old hag for more years than is necessary,” incel creeper explains

Detail from “The Irritating Gentleman,” (1874) by Berthold Woltze.  (Speech bubble not in original)

By David Futrelle

When an adult man hits on, or simply obsesses about, underage girls, most of u see that as predatory behavior. Heck, the word “predator” is even in the title of that old Dateline Series with Chris Hansen.

But not so fact! According to one ingenious fellow posting on the Incels.me forum, it’s not creepy for adult men like him to salivate over “prime jailbait.” It’s basically a form of sexual self-defense. You see, women age — no really! –and only by pursuing young teen girls can men protect themselves from getting trapped for life by a woman who will grow old and ugly on them.

“The point of getting with a 15-year-old girl isn’t just a preference for 15-year-old girls,” writes Leucosticte, a prolific commenter on Incels.me with nearly 1300 posts to his name. “it’s also a preference to NOT be stuck with an old hag for more years than is necessary.”

That’s the tl;dr. But the route Leucosticte takes to get to this conclusion is somehow even creepier than the conclusion itself. So let’s go through it.

Leucosticte starts off his post by portraying men as hapless victims of an army of purple-haired fat girls oppressing them by being purple-haired fat girls in their presence — thus preventing these poor fellows from getting the “looksmatched” partners that are evidently their birthright.

Most men these days, even betas, will not get their looksmatch. So many girls these days are mentally and physically unsuitable for producing offspring with, because they’re venereally-diseased sluts, morbidly obese landwhales, and/or borderline-personality-disordered, purple-haired, septum-pierced freaks, that there’s not much left to choose from, for those men who even have the luxury of a choice.

Such oppression!

That’s a tough pill to swallow, but what’s even worse is that women age a lot less gracefully than men. That means, even if — by some miracle, given the realities of today’s sexual marketplace — she starts out being your looksmatch, as time goes on, your looks will still be pretty close to what they are now, but hers will go into a much steeper decline.

By contrast, incels age like fine wine whine.

Eventually she’ll be an old hag who’s an embarassment to be seen with.

Because apparently the most important thing about having a girlfriend or wife is what complete strangers think about her looks relative to yours.

You see this all the time — a good-looking guy in, say, his 40s or 50s, is with his agematched wife, who’s now so wrinkly that she looks the creature from the black lagoon, only uglier.

Honestly, no, I don’t see that all the time. Sure, I’ve seen conventionally attractive men walking hand-in-hand with less conventionally attractive women, but I’ve also seen plenty of “pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street,” as the Joe Jackson song has it, Most of the time, though, the straight couples I’ve encountered in my life have tended to be roughly “looksmatched” — that is, both partners are similarly situated on that supposedly objective ten-point scale so beloved by pickup artists and incels alike.

I have yet to meet anyone who even vaguely resembles a fictional aquatic monster-person.

No matter how successful he may become, he’s still lower-status, in a way, than a teenaged Chad who gets to be with a fresh jailbait, because he doesn’t have that same privilege of enjoying that tight, youthful pussy.

I would offer some sort of rebuttal here but I’m too busy throwing up in my mouth a little.

Imagine working hard your whole life and realizing, your only reward is money and power that can’t be converted into the only currency that matters, i.e., sexual access to fertile teenage girls.

The only “currency” that matters to you, you creepy fuck.

As you become middle-aged, if you’ve stayed in good health, your dick will continue to be capable of getting just as hard as it does now (when you’re given the proper stimuli); but your wife’s pussy will loosen significantly over time, so it’s not just her form but also her function that will decline.

I would say something about it being pretty obvious that this guy has never actually been with an older woman, but it’s even more obvious that he has never been with any human females of any age.

You’ll be walking through the house and wonder, “What’s that weird smell?” and then realize, it’s just the accumulated sweat under her sagging breasts that’s starting to stink like an armpit.

Well this is a new one to me. I had no idea that middle-aged married men were being oppressed by their wives’ … underboob BO?

Her female appendages are no longer as pert and bouncy as they once were; they’ve fallen and they can’t get up. She needs to call Life Alert.

This is clearly a guy whose entire understanding of human anatomy comes from anime. It’s perhaps appropriate to point out that his avatar on Incels.me is an anime schoolgirl tied down on a deck.

This is all just part of marriage, but it should at least be staved off as long as possible into the future. The point of getting with a 15-year-old girl isn’t just a preference for 15-year-old girls (although that does have a certain allure); it’s also a preference to NOT be stuck with an old hag for more years than is necessary.

I’m going to let Jennifer Lawrence handle the response to this one.

Thet’s not really strong enough. Let’s have another go at it.

Still not enough.

Closer. Let’s add a bit of this:

And a couple of these:

Combine in pot. Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally.

When you’re forced to settle for an older foid, you not only get fewer years with her when she’s in her youthful prime, but you’re subjected to more years with her when she’s such a dessicated, walking corpse-like bag of decayed flesh that every day when you wake up in the morning and see her lying next to you, you panic initially before you sigh with relief to realize, it’s not actually the zombie apocalypse, but just another day with your wife.

Jennifer?

The world’s biggest pile of bullshit, possibly.

Still, it’s a real punch to the gut to realize (maybe after having had a nice dream of teenage pudenda) that she’s all you’ll EVER have from that point onward; and not only that, but her looks will continue declining even further until finally the grim reaper mercifully arrives to take her away.

Sorry, Ms. Lawrence, we’re still not done here yet.

Leucosticte keeps digging his hole deeper:

But even then, you STILL can’t get with a prime jailbait because that would be considered gross, disgusting, predatory, etc. even if you haven’t aged too badly and a lot of chicks would actually prefer an older man such as yourself.

We return you now to the red carpet where Jenifer Lawrence has some more thoughts on the question of whether young women are desperate to bang middle-aged incels.


Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, Leucosticte brings in Ivanka Trump.

Why do you suppose Trump is so fond of Ivanka? He got to be with her throughout her youthful prime, and she’s still a lot younger than him.

WHAT!? Is Leucosticte confusing Melania (Trump’s latest wife) with Ivanka (his favorite daughter)? Or does he actually mean to say Ivanka.

As [Trump] says, 35 is check-out time. But, if you’re not allowed to check out, at least if you’ve been with her since she was, say, 15, that’s 20 years of memories you can treasure and look back on as you’re trying to get aroused enough to get an erection you can shove into the cleft between the arthritic legs of the half-mummified living carcass that is her body.

Come on, man, you’re making J Law go dead inside.

Leucosticte now decides to bring Brett Kavanaugh into the mess.

I think the reason Kavanaugh mentioned he was a virgin throughout high school and college is to make the point, “I didn’t even get ANY teenage pussy, so that makes it all the worse that now I have to pay a penalty as though I did try to rape a girl in her nubile prime. I should at least get to do the crime if I’m going to do the time.”

Er,

I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.

He spent all those decades orbiting dozens of chicks, and people don’t even want to consider those girls’ statements about his character credible. If he doesn’t get confirmed,

(This was posted before Kavanaugh was confirmed.)

he might as well just flip out and go ER [Elliot Rodger], because that means the Senators think he’s a rapist, which for him would be the epitome of getting cucked.

Yes, that’s right. He honestly suggested that if Kavanaugh hadn’t been confirmed to the supreme court, he would have been reasonable for him to go murder a bunch of people as revenge for the fact that he didn’t score himself some “primo jailbait” back in high school

That’s how these guys think.

L Jaw, any thoughts from you on this weird twist ending to Leucosticte’s terrible post?

Aw, crap. I think Leucosticte broke Jennifer Lawrence. I feel kind of bad for bringing her into the middle of all this in the first place.

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Cyborgette
Cyborgette
4 years ago

@Violet

And yet the cultural narrative is that teenage girls (and women of all ages) love, and moreover should love, father figures with money. Part of the whole culture of enforced dependency/helplessness IMO. It is so ubiquitous, and so absolutely disgusting.

CN: gross personal stories related to this

When I was an HS sophomore, I had a chem class where a boy and a girl who I both vaguely knew were talking about “gold diggers”. The boy was telling her that she would definitely marry the first really rich guy who came along. She was obviously super offended and told him he was full of it. He told her: “No, you would, you literally don’t have a choice. Women don’t have free will, that’s just how they are.”

Two years later, I was arguing with my dad about Bill Clinton, who he insisted was incredibly attractive to almost all women. It kind of branched into a general argument about culture and sexism. He told me that “power is an aphrodisiac”, and refused to budge on that idea no matter what arguments I threw at him. I eventually gave up in anger and disgust. He would spout that line at me occasionally well into my twenties, and it always made me so angry I had to speak carefully to avoid crying.

About eight years after that I doing tech support work for a finance company, and a new accountant joined the team nearest to my desk – a young woman who was good at talking to people. A couple months into her time there, one of her male coworkers asked her how rich a man would have to be for her to marry him. She was stunned speechless. I reported the guy to HR, and a mass email about harassment was sent out a week later, but I’m not sure anything else came of it – the guy certainly stayed with the company until I left.

It just goes so deep. Men in the US are not only trained to feel rightfully entitled to everything – they’re also trained to believe that everything is available for sale, to them, for the right price. Including other people’s free will. They’re trained to not just desire absolute power but believe it is within their grasp.

Kiwiwriter
Kiwiwriter
4 years ago

My limited memory of the “popular” high school girls is that they did not want to date high school boys, who were “unsophisticated.” That meant they had the manners of chimpanzees, were dead broke, and only wanted two things: to find out what was under that dress and if they could play with it.

They did want to date older men — but not 30-year-old men. That meant they wanted to date college freshmen and sophomores, who were over the age of 18. At that time it meant they could legally buy liquor and cigarettes and get them into New York’s hottest nightclubs and swank them around in cool cars.

Of course, the “popular” girls were not “popular.” I never understood why that term was applied to them. I called them “Queen Bees” for their condescending behavior and harsh sting, but that’s an entirely different subject.

My point — labored as it is — is that Amy Fisher and her ilk, who gloried in being involved with older men, are very few and far between and any man who thinks that teenage girls are all “fair game” or somehow “hungry for” an older man are pretty bloody sick and diseased.

Of course, the thinking of these misogynistic incels is twisted in the first place…as Felix Unger says: “I don’t have the time to unravel your logic!”

Catalpa
Catalpa
4 years ago

@kiwiwriter

I think this guy has neither life nor job nor change of clothes…which explains his hatred of women

I’m actually pretty sure that being unemployed or having a limited wardrobe aren’t actually causes of misogyny! For example, I know plenty of perfectly decent unemployed people who are not disgusting pedophiles or misogynists! Maybe don’t cause splash damage while attacking this festering asshole of a person?

Kiwiwriter
Kiwiwriter
4 years ago

I agree with you that being unemployed and having a limited wardrobe does not cause misogyny…unemployment causes poverty and shortages of clothes.

The difference is that this guy seems to spend all his time whining about his plight on the internet, blaming everyone but himself, rather than address his own issues.

It’s a poorly-worded comment on that philosophy.

Hambeast
Hambeast
4 years ago

When I was young and in the USAF, I went to language school in Monterey, CA where I met a young man who was from the area I was from and who drove home every weekend (an 8-hour trip, each way.) I would give him a few bucks for gas and go visit home myself maybe once a month (most of us were there for at least 6 months.)

One time, a classmate of mine told me that the weekend driver was telling people that I was his girlfriend* but, not to worry, every guy knew it wasn’t true because he made the mistake of telling them that he drove home every weekend to hang out at his old high school to troll for girls there. This was said with much derision, even though we were mostly only 18 or 19 ourselves. It was considered rather “not alpha” (so to speak) to not be able to date your peers. So, IME, it wasn’t just older womenfolk who found this behavior creepy.

*full disclosure – I went out with him once, but he had a creepy vibe. I also always made sure I wouldn’t be the only one riding with him on those trips. My mom thought he was great and always asked me if we were dating even when I told her about the high school thing.

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
4 years ago

I did have a thing about much older men when I was in high school, men who were my father’s generation. I also had a weird, near-incestuous relationship with my father, so, yeah, did I ever have daddy issues.
I was into outlaw bikers, though, so whiny manospherians types wouldn’t have had a chance with me.

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
4 years ago

Skylalalalalalala
October 10, 2018 at 7:23 pm

@SpukiKitty

I alternate using Ecosia (they donate ad money to planting trees) & DuckDuckGo for search engines these days

Cool! I’ll look them up.

How are they with Image Searches? Do they allow everything (even nudie pics)? My main beef with Google’s image search was both censorship and filtering issues.

[I’m very sex-positive and NO, I’M NOT INTO TORTURE-STUFF]

Also; Are search-results encouraging to Progressives? EXAMPLE: If I typed “Blue Wave”, I won’t be deluged with “The Blue Wave is Bogus” stories?

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
4 years ago

About the “Young gals liking older guys” stuff; The thing is is that younger gals who like older guys tend to be attracted to handsome older guys who’ve aged well and retain their good looks and youthful energy.

When younger women think “Hot old guy” it’s usually something along the line of George Clooney, Patrick Stewart, Harrison Ford, Richard Gere or even present-day Roger Waters (who looks less awkward and equine and more like a hybrid of Ford and Gere). If Rick Springfield weren’t a huge has-been, he’d probably be on that list, too….he’s still cute….as are Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise.

….They’re not clamoring for “Grandpa”.

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
4 years ago

@Skylalalalalalala

I got myself surfin’ the web with Ecosia, now!

I could just use Bing for Image Search.

Ecosia also uses Bing but I’d imagine it probably has a thing that fixes the search alogrthim issues with Far-Right junk showing up first.

Plus; I’M PLANTING TREES AND HELPING PEOPLE!

Thanks a bunch, Skylalalalalalala!

j
j
4 years ago

I’ve learned over the past few weeks that Incel isn’t simply having trouble with romance that some people react to in toxic ways.

Its a damn state of mind and holy crap is it creepy. Yuck.

ellesar
ellesar
4 years ago

Up until the mid 20th century in Britain an age gap of 15 years was pretty OK and common, but the woman actually still needed to be a WOMAN! It seems to have closed a lot now. My sister married a man 15 years senior, and that is unusual.

I will never understand the ‘men age better than women’ thing. I live in a very mixed population and here the men do not age any better or worse. Of course, a lot of that is to do with how one perceives ageing in the first place, but really, men are not looking any ‘better’.

ellesar
ellesar
4 years ago

Also, it is very common thing for men to convince themselves that younger women/ girls want them, when it is clearly not the case. Younger women ARE often more easily intimidated and manipulated, NOT quite the same thing!

Katamount
Katamount
4 years ago

@ellesar

Also, it is very common thing for men to convince themselves that younger women/ girls want them, when it is clearly not the case. Younger women ARE often more easily intimidated and manipulated, NOT quite the same thing!

Case in point: any James Bond film from the Connery and Moore runs. I found myself watching On Her Majesty’s Secret Service for the first time, completing my viewership of all the 24 official EON films. I had avoided OHMSS as it was “the Lazenby one”, but Lazenby did surprise me by bringing some vulnerability to the character that was absent in every portrayal up to Daniel Craig.

As hackneyed as it is that pretty much every woman under the age of 40 throws themselves at Bond, it was at least refreshing that the genuinely charming George Lazenby was the same age as Diana Rigg. Just for context, I watched the next film in the series (Diamonds Are Forever) and the first thing we see Sean Connery–only 41, but looking older than 50–do is march up to a woman half his age, yank off her bikini top and begin strangling her with it. Between the chauvenistic condescension and outright assault, he came across less a suave sophisticated man of the world and more a smug sexual predator.

My journey through the Roger Moore years didn’t fare much better. It was already weird that they cast Roger Moore when he was 3 years older than even Connery. While he was perhaps a little more youthful looking in his 40s, it didn’t last much beyond The Spy Who Loved Me. It was still pretty gross to see him basically manipulate a 19-year-old Jane Seymour into sleeping with him in Live And Let Die, and then to have that Bibi Dahl (haha) character, a character who I always thought was supposed to be a teenager, throwing herself at a 53-year-old creepazoid like Moore in For Your Eyes Only was even worse.

Judi Dench’s assessment of Bond in GoldenEye as a “sexist, misogynist dinosaur” couldn’t have been more on point with that history.

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