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15 tweets about “weaponized vaginas” that may cause yours to sew itself shut

This is actually a Pokemon

By David Futrelle

A couple of years ago, some terrible person came up with the phrase “weaponized vagina” to refer to the alleged power of women to quickly and easily take down powerful men and make a ton of money in the process by falsely accusing them of rape or sexual harassment.

For some reason the phrase got into my head last night, and so I decided to see if anyone was still using it. The answer, of course, was yes.

So here are 15 tweets about “weaponized vaginas” that might cause yours, if you have one, to sew itself shut.

https://twitter.com/LoveToLead1/status/953980456558645248

https://twitter.com/RobertAlenGreen/status/944764529912795136

https://twitter.com/hazenoff/status/952881542875041792

https://twitter.com/RobertAlenGreen/status/943274294418735105

https://twitter.com/hazenoff/status/941999931673411584

https://twitter.com/PlebofKekistan/status/918284786174701568

https://twitter.com/MaestroAmedeo/status/979555631131693056

https://twitter.com/MAGA2020too/status/941122334743609345

https://twitter.com/LoveToLead1/status/925437438046212096

https://twitter.com/David__Kaino/status/954802581112532998

https://twitter.com/MAGA2020too/status/935861269231308806

Here’s a BONUS TWEET that’s more baffling than anything else:

https://twitter.com/corlearjbre/status/887732498935013377

As it turns out, those devious females can weaponize things other than vaginas:

From now on, I would like to propose that we ban all usage of the term “weaponized vagina” (including synonyms) except to refer to:

That Pokemon that looks like one

Liz Phair cover bands

Dolphin vaginas 

Duck vaginas

This gal’s vagina:

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KatieKitten420
KatieKitten420
4 years ago

So here is the actual question. I am trying to change my spoiled coddled lifestyle. I’m 34 years old and I still live in my mom’s house and she pays my bills and gives me money to go out with my friends, buys me books, clothes, almost whatever I please as long as it’s vaguely reasonable.

Because of my mental issues and drug issues my employment record is awful. If I could use drug dealer it’d be a lot better but I’ve only had two and a half real jobs one was volunteering consistently for almost a year at a church. That’s the half job so I’ve been applying everywhere since about a month after I got out of the hospital that’s a year. Even for jobs I’m overqualified for such as Duane Reade shelver or Wendy’s or most minimum wage anything. I mean I do have a bachelor’s I think I’m capable of these jobs. I don’t mean to belittle people who do them, I just don’t think that I’m incapable. I keep getting turned down I have literally applied to 62 places and all of them rejected me.

But I want to move out and start having some kind of Independence cuz even though my mother gives me what I please I have to ask for it and she decides as I get older it grates on me. I’m not ungrateful I’m 34 h ridiculous how spoiled I am but I want to see if I’m capable of adulting. I’m scared that I’m not but I want to try.

To that end I’ve started back with my old line of work. I’ve always had morals about it in my life no kids unless you want weed no pregnant woman I don’t even like to serve elderly people or people with kids but if I know they’ve been doing it for 40 years and will do it anyway I don’t see the point in making it more difficult for them.

Do people here think this is wrong and or immoral? People won’t give me a job anywhere else and I try to be moral and reasonable about it and they’re not going to disappear people always going to want party favors as we say.

The second part of the question is related but not exactly the same. My believe is that all drugs should be completely legal and regulated and taxed and sold like any other item that has some danger attached to it. As long as you’re over 21 a grown adult why can’t you do as you please as long as you’re not hurting anyone? I believe the same about prostitution, gay marriage or anything that people complain about grown adults with agency doing. If you’re an adult why shouldn’t you be able to do anything you please that doesn’t hurt or affect anyone else? Do people agree with this opinion or am I being naive? Is there a reason all drugs shouldn’t be legal and regulated because in the long run it would be safer and healthier and less people would die because people are going to do them regardless. Trust and believe I know.

Thank you in advance to anyone who answers. If I’m being simplistic or naive and you need to elaborate I am perfectly willing to read a wall of text I like getting new information. Everyone have a lovely day.

Jo
Jo
4 years ago

@EJ – absolutely, and I hope I didn’t come across as dismissing the seriousness of fake snuff porn. I’ve seen couple of clips and although it is very obviously fake, the idea that this is someone’s idea of a turn-on makes it very disturbing.

I’m trying to react against the current political atmosphere by showing that on our side of the debate we care about truth and facts, so I’m on a bit of a hair trigger when it comes to unproven claims.

EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

@Jo:
You came across very clearly, don’t worry, and your stance on facts is an admirable one.

I think your saying that was also a compassionate act: you’ve reassured people that a horrible nightmare is not in fact real. For people suffering from anxiety (like too many people in the world today) this can be an enormous relief.

@KatieKitten420:
I agree with you that soft drugs are not inherently more immoral than many things which are currently legal. If you choose to sell them, I won’t think of you as being a bad person.

However, there are men with guns and blue uniforms out there who might decide that selling drugs makes it acceptable for them to rape, torture or murder you. This is something I really don’t want happening to you.

What did you do your bachelors’ degree in?

Social Justice Red Mage
Social Justice Red Mage
4 years ago

A weapon to surpass metal gear

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@Katie
I agree with you. Unless there’s maybe a high risk to others with the products you’re buying (like fucking guns), if it’s regulated and the stigma is removed so you can get help if you need it, I see no reason why an adult can’t do what they want. The reason for prohibitions against mind altering substances comes down to capitalism and worker productivity, plus racism.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
4 years ago

Capitalism times two: the sellers of legalized drugs (alky and tobacco) didn’t like competition. In the case of cannabis, there are more companies threatened by competition from (non-psychoactive) hemp products, too.

All of these reasons are illegitimate. Anti-competitive maneuvering is illegitimate, racism is illegitimate, and as for worker productivity, neverminding the question of whether it would be any more negatively impacted than by alcohol (most workers limit heavy alcohol use to Friday and Saturday nights, if ever, precisely to avoid being hung over at work) there’s the minor matter that we actually have a surplus of worker productivity these days, which is causing one of the major issues of our times: low and stagnant wages.

KatieKitten420
KatieKitten420
4 years ago

I wont lie, it’s mostly weed but I do sell blow to rich NYU students(theyre happy cause they were paying $120 a gram, and I give it to them for $100 and still more than double my money. They don’t know that but I don’t find it sketchy because they’re happy. Fair exchange is no robbery.)

I also deal with very specific people with dope. Since I’m a hundred and ten lb female I’m not threatening so rich white people(not trying to be racist but it’s my lived experience)prefer to deal with me rather than most people and not only will they pay premium prices, but they’ll pay for me to deliver it(and sometimes even pay for taxis)

Since it’s something that is bad for people is it wrong to provide for them even if they want it and will get it somewhere else if I don’t? I don’t think so when it’s an adult with agency and intelligence. That’s their choice right? But some people say I’m wrong that’s what everyone says, “Oh if I don’t do it someone else will” to take the blame off them. But in my eyes it’s actually true no one’s going to do less drugs because I’m personally not selling them. I just won’t have money.

Okay that’s the last of it. Sorry for the babbling I don’t know how to do concise. I appreciate any answers at all. And EJ I majored in psychology.

KatieKitten420
KatieKitten420
4 years ago

Also EJ, you’re totally right and that’s why I don’t mess with anyone I don’t know I don’t do anything outside oh I have so many rules with my paranoia. I did it from 15 to 26 sometimes more sometimes less. It started just so I always have recreational drugs when I wanted them in high school and then when I started going to Raves at 16 it became very lucrative.

Ecstasy and acid once you were in the club everyone knew prices were doubled sometimes tripled because you can’t leave. Also I’m very insecure and everyone always loves the drug dealer! Not actual love obviously, but you’re invited to every party, you’re incredibly popular, people are extra nice to you, etc. In 20 years of being a delinquent in many ways I’ve only been arrested twice once was thrown out cuz it was literal harassment and nonsense and once I just had to do a couple hours of community service for a small possession charge.

My point being(there are two actually) I am safer from the blue gang then most people partially(and I hate this phrase but I don’t know how else to put it succinctly) because I may be half black but I read very white. So people say all the time at least. I’ve been stopped by cops at least eight or nine times but all but those two times they let me go. That does not happen to most people up in Harlem, I know this from personal experience.

And partially cuz I only deal with my phone, people I’ve known for years call me and meet me at my house or theirs or sometimes a restaurant or something. I would never do that hanging on a street corner type selling or anything even resembling it. That’s dangerous in a lot of ways especially for a small female.

The second point is that you would have completely right EJ. My friend [name redacted by df] went to go pick us up an ounce of coke and ended up getting caught by the cops after she got it. They offered to let her go in exchange for blowjobs. Keep in mind this girl is a junior in high school 16 years old. She was a part-time model absolutely gorgeous but 16 and obviously so. She did it because that is a felony and they said she wouldn’t just be charged with possession they would charge her with intent to sell which could actually get her years in prison and she decided it was the lesser of two evils. I honestly think I would do the same. I think that would be a choice no one could fault anyone for whatever decision they made.

It’s absolutely horrific but 2 coerced instances of oral rape probably take about 30 minutes at most all total. Jail 4 felony intent to sell can easily get you a 2 to 4 on a first offense, sometimes even more if they’re being” tough on crime” I think I could stand the first thing easier, even though it would be horrifically traumatizing rather than 2 to 4 years in jail which I think would be exponentially more traumatizing.

So thank you EJ for hoping I stay safe I definitely acknowledge the danger is real and I’m paranoid to the point of ridiculous sometimes to avoid it

Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ Katiekitten

That’s their choice right?

I believe absolutely in total bodily autonomy. So, as far as I’m concerned, competent people with capacity can make whatever decisions they want about how they live their lives.

You can get into that J S Mill debate about ‘self regarding’ vs ‘other regarding’ acts. But I think, unless you’re like a pilot or something, drugs are entirely a matter for the person using them and nobody else’s business.

There’s obviously issues around harm the drug trade can cause, especially in the regions they’re manufactured. But all the ills are a consequence of restriction and prohibition, so that’s down to the powers that be, not you.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

@Katie : I don’t known what blow is, but I would echo the fact that selling hard drug is an hard sell to me. The rest don’t struck me as particulary sketchy. (even if alway somewhat risky).

While I value freedom of choice as much as anyone else, I feel like some drugs just take away freedom from their users.

I do think it’s better to do that kind of work than banging your head against private employers. I have had a similar problem at finding work at a time, and really once I got a first job and proved I was reliable here, the rest was *MUCH* easier. Except having that first job was extremely lucky, and did require me to lie my ass off to get a job offer.

And it is better in my opinion to work a shady job that let you feel useful and valuable than being at home and depressing. The key part is to take the option that distress you the less, and usually working is better if only because it let you see more people, give you objectives, and let you feel productive.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
4 years ago

@Katie,

I fully agree re:legalizing all drugs, especially considering that unregulated drugs tend to get cut with all sorts of shit, making them inherently more dangerous for the user.

The only cogent argument I’ve heard against legalizing all drugs is that users of harder drugs may end up becoming permanently incapacitated and therefore a drain on society, which falls under the category of “harming others” (financially, at least). I find it somewhat less than convincing, since people become permanently incapacitated for many different reasons, and legalizing and taxing drugs opens up the possibility of funding more rehab and support services for folks in need of them (a bit of pipe dream, considering Rethug control of so many levels of government, but hey, we’re being hypothetical here)…but at least it’s a rational argument that doesn’t rely on subjective moralizing.

As for whether dealing is wrong or immoral, well, that depends on the system of morality the person making that judgment subscribes to. The plain fact is that getting involved in the illegal drug trade – at any level – helps support a system that perpetuates violence and predation at appalling levels in many areas of the world.

Of course, you can say the exact same thing about being an American or being involved in capitalism, so it really depends on how far down the chain you consider culpability to flow. Same with slavery; some of my ancestors owned some of my children’s ancestors, and some of my ancestors murdered and forcibly relocated some of my other ancestors; if we go far enough back, everyone is bathed in blood and horror.

For whatever it’s worth, I sleep at night by rationalizing it thusly:

I can’t change the past and I can’t revoke my privileges, but I can freely and honestly acknowledge all of the shitty, unjust stuff that I’ve benefitted from and strive to listen and learn as much about it as possible in the service of doing whatever I can to try and change it.

Not sure how much of this applies to you or answers your questions, but there’s always the possibility it might help.

Jo
Jo
4 years ago

@KatieKitten – You know your situation best, but I believe there is a lot of talk in the current administration about harsher penalties for dealers (including death). All it takes for you to get caught is for the police to pick up one of your customers on a possession or other charge and for them to offer you up in exchange for their charges being dropped. You get unlucky with the amount they catch you with and it’s a felony, maybe 4 years and maybe they’re under pressure to be tough on dealers and suddenly it’s 8 years or 12 years…

Then when you get out, there’s no chance of you finding work, maybe your parents have passed, how do you survive? Go back to selling and risk the rest of your life inside?

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
4 years ago

@Katie
This is a complicated topic, both on the use and sale sides. But we’re mostly dealing with, well, dealing here. You mentioned you think it should all be legalized and regulated. Say all this stuff were legalized. What regulations would you like to see implimented? Not rhetorical in the slightest, btw. Put yourself in the place of the government. What should you be able to sell? Where, when, how, to whom? Except you’re not the government, you have limits the state doesn’t. Which of those regulations can you justify circumventing by reason of inability to comply? I mean, we don’t (or shouldn’t anyway) let business, large or small, get away with ducking OSHA regs or whatever cos it’s hurt their bottom line too much

The ramifications to abstract freedom and the practical considerations of public health and safety, weighing the 2 is also important. Personally don’t give a shit what you’re allowed to do if it does actually hurt people. There’s a reason a loooooooooot of black people are touchy about the idea of legalizing certain drugs, specially crack (everyone hates the sentencing discrepancy between black crack and white coke, but different thing). And now white people and their meth/opioids. I got no answers here, at least none imma go out in a limb to be any sorta authoritative about, but the questions need serious, detailed, nitty gritty thinking about if morality is your concern and regulation your ultimate solution

BritterSweet
4 years ago

@ Knitting Cat Lady:

I don’t know, I just stumbled upon it years ago and it stuck in my memory! I think someone described obscure and bizarre 80s-90s anime and described one where a girl does something like this to either summon Godzilla or turn into Godzilla, and that might or might not be it…?

Another, more famous, 2d user of weaponized vagina would be Fujiko from Lupin III.
comment image

Defiantcreatrix
Defiantcreatrix
4 years ago

@Katie

I have been a dealer (mostly weed, some hallucinogens) in the past, and I don’t see a moral problem with it bigger than most capitalism. I quit because I stopped using, so it was important to be away from it, not because I think it’s my business what people put in their bodies.

It sounds like you have moral strictures (no kids, nobody who’s pregnant) and safety precautions (only dealing with people you know, being small, female, and light-skinned) that are working for you. Good! It’s important to keep thinking about that sort of thing.

That said, and assuming you are dealing in the US, you need to be INCREDIBLY CAREFUL. If you can afford it, I would cut out the blow altogether, because the penalties tend to be worse for cocaine. Be aware of your state laws – some places it’s totally possible for the government to seize your assets or any assets you’re using to deal – including cars and houses – even if they don’t belong to you, which means since you’re living at home your Mom’s house could be in jeopardy. Be aware also that even if your state’s penalties are mild/decrim for something, federal penalties could apply. I had to drop out of college for a year once because I lost federal financial aid eligibility.

Sorry for the book – you’re much more recent to this than I am, so you’ve probably thought of/know of most of these points, but they’re scary and big and I wanted to make sure.

To everyone else/anyone who’s still reading: Hi! Constant reader, infrequent commenter here. Y’all are amazing and I really enjoy this space.

Jo
Jo
4 years ago

@EJ – That’s a good point about relieving anxiety. I wouldn’t claim to be an expert on fake snuff porn, but in case it helps anyone sleep better, here’s what I saw.

Trigger warning

It was cheaply produced, it had the production values of Californian porn crossed with B movies. The girls looked very much like porn models – white, early 20s, quite heavily made up and both utterly hairless when naked. What bad luck to be murdered the day after your waxing… There was an attempt to add realism through shaky camera techniques, but the girls weren’t convincing as random victims and the lighting and camera angles were too professional. Also the murderer didn’t acknowledge the camera at all and neither did the girls – again, very much like porn. The acting was ok, not laughably bad, but again not convincing. There were cuts which skipped over the hardest to film realistically segments, such as the tying up. The actual killing (throat cutting) was filmed from some distance away, which made no sense at all since surely that’s the most important part of the film…. Of course a fake knife and fake blood is a lot easier to pass off as real from a distance. And the close ups on the supposedly dead girls was really poor. Very posed, the sort of wide-eyed expressions that children make when copying dead people from the movies and you could see that under the fake blood their supposedly slit throats were intact.

So although the idea that guys are getting off on this is still horrible, the actual films are definitely nothing to have nightmares about.

msedgynation
msedgynation
4 years ago

I am terrible. The phrase “weaponized vagina” just makes me think of Heavy Flo.
http://savagedragonwiki.wikispaces.com/file/view/Heavy_flo.jpg/183029071/Heavy_flo.jpg

Katamount
Katamount
4 years ago

Probably the only examples of weaponized vajayjay I can think of came from the hentai film La Blue Girl… which has quite possibly the funniest English dub of a hentai I have ever seen in my life. The quote-unquote “sex ninja” powers on display involve turning pubic hair into needles that can shoot into the eyes, enlarging the clitoris into a mini-phallus (which given the whole “futa” thing almost seems quaint these days) and uterus acid that melts ding-dongs within seconds. IIRC, one of the characters gets captured and rigged up with some kind of contraption that closes shut on the unfortunate wiener upon climax (oddly reminiscent of the exploding diaphragms from the second Ilsa movie.)

Now I gotta watch that series again just to laugh at the hilarious dub. It’s still an in-joke between my brother and I.

Oh and if anybody else has any recommendations for funny English dubs of animated Japanese porn, I’m all ears. 😀

LittleLurker
LittleLurker
4 years ago

@Katie

I’ve got nothing on the drug question, but we’re in a similar situation lifestyle-wise, I think. I’ve just turned 32 last week and I have pretty much the same living arrangements for similar reasons (I “lost” a lot of time, too, with psych-stuff and recovery). I did get accepted for a PhD last year – which was my dream for many many years – but I’m still trying to actually get a way to pay for my own expenses of living. Apparently historians aren’t all that sought after…

With that bit of background information there’s something I want to tell you, because what you wrote sounded so much like how I was feeling over the last year. After all that you’ve been through – the illness, the drugs, the decade of recovery – how on earth can you say you want to change your “coddled and spoiled lifestyle”?

I know the narratives. No job, no own place, no own money and – god forbid – someone supports you? Wow, you must be a total failure… (My extended family tends to add “no boyfriend/husband” to that list.)

It’s not weakness when shit gets in the way of living your life, it’s not weakness to need and accept help and it’s not weakness when society at large or other people refuse to give you another chance because you had more important stuff to do in the past than accumulate a shiny CV.

On the other hand, what I totally do get is the feeling of dependence and not being able to decide things on your own. I have that feeling, too, which is why I’d take any kind of job as well, if my Prof. would allow it. She does not (yet), sadly.

You shouldn’t think you’re not a real adult because your life does not follow a “normal” course. I know enough people whose lives do and I wouldn’t really call them very mature either.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, FemiNest Collective agent, Hell Toupee keeper & Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, FemiNest Collective agent, Hell Toupee keeper & Intergalactic Meanie
4 years ago

@KatieKitten,

I am not going to comment on the drug stuff, since I know nothing about the backgrounds of the issues involved. I will, however, try and give advice about finding a ‘legit’ job, since I know that area better.

My advice is to hunt down your local Unemployment office and ask them for help with your resume and job applications. They can help figure out how to package your work history in a manner that might appeal to potential employers, and how to present your jail time and health problems in a way that isn’t a lie and protects your privacy. Oh, and tell you what personal info it is legal to give, and what are illegal questions to ask a possible employee. And what clothes to wear to an interview, stuff like that. Good info to know overall.

Not to mention finding out what you have an aptitude for, and seeing what’s available there. Even if all you can get is crappy fast food work at first, at least it’s something to put on your resume. Especially if you can last at least a year or two at it, to demonstrate you can be dependable at showing up and doing work at a set time each day. Just don’t deal while on the clock, and/or on company property, and it should be bearable.

Hopefully that helps you some.

ETA: Just to reassure you on a minor point (just in case it would bug you), you wouldn’t be the first person they’ve seen with your overall history, nor the last. They’ve seen it before, and likely know what would likely help the best.

Mistyful
Mistyful
4 years ago

Katie,

I didn’t live on my own until about about 2 years ago. I’m 48. Until then I’d either lived with my parents or a husband (and several months with a boyfriend that didn’t work out). I stayed with my parents between husbands, and yeah that sounds awful and I felt like a failure because of it…but that’s one way that I was privileged, too. I wouldn’t call it spoiled or coddled; it was a way that I could continue living in decent conditions while I got my life together. But it was not comfortable at all. I empathize, there is nothing “spoiled” about being put back into the role of a child when you’re an adult.

As for drugs, well. I’m accepting of most, but experience has taught me that meth eats away at empathy and ethics as well as teeth. I’m glad you’re not involved with that, though I wouldn’t judge you if you were. I’d just worry.

About jobs, in addition to what Redsilkphoenix said, I’d also like to suggest looking into vocational rehabilitation. Many states have that, and I’ve found that they are oh so very helpful. In my state, you need to have either financial need or a disability of some sort, and it’s very worth the hassle of paperwork. I’m getting my 4 year degree paid for through mine.

While dealing is obviously working for you now, I wouldn’t view it as a long-term solution. There are too many potential risks, not enough chances to prepare for the future or “be successful”, and (at least for me) having to lie about such basic things as “so, what do you do for a living?” is an anxiety production mill.

Anyway that’s my $.02. Good luck.

misophistry
misophistry
4 years ago

KatieKitten, independence is worth the shit job to me. 30hrs of semi-slavery a week gives me 138hrs of liberty. I like to sing obscene songs and walk around in the nude, it gives me pleasure. I often wander if the neighbours can hear me singing my version of “she’ll be coming round the mountain”

misophistry
misophistry
4 years ago

Obviously all this changed when I got married… its naked duets now.

tim gueguen
4 years ago

I’m surprised we got this far on this thread without someone bringing up Go Nagai’s ridiculous Kekko Kamen . The title heroine’s finishing move is to mash her crotch into the faces of her opponents.

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