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15 tweets about “weaponized vaginas” that may cause yours to sew itself shut

This is actually a Pokemon

By David Futrelle

A couple of years ago, some terrible person came up with the phrase “weaponized vagina” to refer to the alleged power of women to quickly and easily take down powerful men and make a ton of money in the process by falsely accusing them of rape or sexual harassment.

For some reason the phrase got into my head last night, and so I decided to see if anyone was still using it. The answer, of course, was yes.

So here are 15 tweets about “weaponized vaginas” that might cause yours, if you have one, to sew itself shut.

https://twitter.com/LoveToLead1/status/953980456558645248

https://twitter.com/RobertAlenGreen/status/944764529912795136

https://twitter.com/hazenoff/status/952881542875041792

https://twitter.com/RobertAlenGreen/status/943274294418735105

https://twitter.com/hazenoff/status/941999931673411584

https://twitter.com/PlebofKekistan/status/918284786174701568

https://twitter.com/MaestroAmedeo/status/979555631131693056

https://twitter.com/MAGA2020too/status/941122334743609345

https://twitter.com/LoveToLead1/status/925437438046212096

https://twitter.com/David__Kaino/status/954802581112532998

https://twitter.com/MAGA2020too/status/935861269231308806

Here’s a BONUS TWEET that’s more baffling than anything else:

https://twitter.com/corlearjbre/status/887732498935013377

As it turns out, those devious females can weaponize things other than vaginas:

From now on, I would like to propose that we ban all usage of the term “weaponized vagina” (including synonyms) except to refer to:

That Pokemon that looks like one

Liz Phair cover bands

Dolphin vaginas 

Duck vaginas

This gal’s vagina:

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Fluffy Spider
Fluffy Spider
4 years ago

@Horrorfan510
Reading through it is horrific the only complaints about Channel Awesome I’ve heard previously was from Phelan (as I am devoted to his channel and reviews of Dingo pictures movies) and bits from Lindsay Ellis (her analytical videos are great ) the extent is horrific though

Horrorfan510
Horrorfan510
4 years ago

@epitome: yeah, some of this is stuff I had heard before, but God damn, it sounds like a shitty company.

Also, if you want another to watch, I have to recommend Allison Pregler’s show Movie Nights, which does fun and insightful reviews of (mostly) so-bad-they’re-good movies. She also does a really great show called Baywatching which is a recap/ criticism of every episode of Baywatch.

@fluffy spider: another fan of Phelous? MAH GOD!

Fluffy Spider
Fluffy Spider
4 years ago

@Horrorfan510
He’s so underrated it hurts. He blows Nostalgia critic out of the water
HEEEEEEEEEEEE
YouTube is soooo stupid
You’ve got me on a tangent now

Sophist
Sophist
4 years ago

Oh look, one of them is named after a character from Atlas Shrugged. What an unexpected turn of events.

Horrorfan510
Horrorfan510
4 years ago

@Fluffy Spider

Let’s face it, Channel Awesome is ruined

Better get the red tape to keep out the awful reviewer ghosts

Fluffy Spider
Fluffy Spider
4 years ago

@Horrorfan510
It’s unfortunate to be honest but I noticed Channel Awesome was getting progressively less awesome
It felt lifeless
Even nostalgia critic’s reviews got really meh (or overly congratulatory like the new ducktales review which praises the show as near perfect without admitting some glaring flaws)
I honestly won’t be missing it off my subscriptions
So many superior reviewers so little time

Horrorfan510
Horrorfan510
4 years ago

I got another

“Doug Walker! You is the pope of fools!”

@Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack I can hear that gif without sound…

Lukas Xavier
Lukas Xavier
4 years ago

I’m unclear as to why weaponized vagina is useless. I thought weapons were very useful?

If vaginas are weapons, are they protected by the second amendment?

KatieKitten420
KatieKitten420
4 years ago

Hi everyone! Happy Easter to anyone who celebrates it. Also it’s my birthday today?! I just wanted to mention that. Partially because I’m weird and insecure and like it to be acknowledged. I’m 34 and though I logically know thats not old, I feel old(especially cause they were playing Green Day on the classic rock station at one place)

So, since I find the community here to be not only intelligent, but also mostly logical and open minded, I have an OT question, and I’d truly appreciate anyone who has an opinion on it weighing in.

But first a little background. People who remember me from before possibly recall all or most of this. I feel it’s relevant cause it will help people give answers that are more informed and detailed, but I talk too much, so maybe it’s not necessary. To keep this wall of text from becoming ridiculous(as opposed to just silly)the next paragraph will be the info and I’ll start a new comment to ask the question.

I was raised upper middle class in the Village in NYC, by my white mom and black dad. But my mom and dad got separated right before puberty set off my bipolar disorder. Suffice to say that it was really bad. Those were(plus a boy, when you’re in HS, there’s always a boy?)the things that turned my(admittedly kinda heavy, but truly was just use, not abuse. I was getting all A’s and B’s at the time if that signifies)recreational drug use into self medicating and then into hardcore addiction. I’m not going to tell my whole story suffice it to say s*** got pretty dark this lasted for about a decade. I still do the first two but my hardcore addiction days have passed.

So because of my upbringing and because of my lived experience I have two oddly contrasted opinions about drugs in general. One is the privilege coddled one which upper class and Rich teenagers mostly white but not always experience. And the second one is informed by using and selling drugs in communities in Harlem the Bronx Brooklyn Etc and interacting and making friends with the people there.

So that’s the background, wow it’s fucking long. I honestly did not intend that but anyone who remembers me knows I don’t know the meaning of the word concise. I’m heading home from my birthday party I’ll write the question when I get there. To be continued.

Anyone who reads this but doesn’t see the second bit before they sleep have a lovely night and day tomorrow

Moggie
Moggie
4 years ago

epitome of incomprehensibility:

Lindsay Ellis, the former “Nostalgia Chick”, remains my favourite.

I discovered Lindsay Ellis just a few days ago, and I’ve been binge watching her film and TV criticism. She’s pretty good.

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

@Horrorfan510

I mostly hear the neck snapping.

@Moggie

Her Whole Plate series is great but I think her Hercules and Hunchback videos are my favorites.

Jo
Jo
4 years ago

Was that really 15 tweets? It felt like much, much more….

Re snuff porn, there are certainly videos of real murders, such as beheading videos and those made by some serial killers. There are also commercial videos depicting murders (usually of young women) made for entertainment purposes. However, the videos of real murders are not made for commercial entertainment and the videos that are made for commercial entertainment are fakes.

Maybe there have been new developments, but last time I looked into this, there were no examples of videos depicting real murders, made for commercial entertainment purposes. In fact, I think someone offered $1 million if anyone could produce an example and no one did.

Of course, videos made by murderers of their crimes and fake videos of women being killed are both horrific and usually products of a messed up patriarchal society. But there is afaik no market in real commercial snuff films.

occasional reader
occasional reader
4 years ago
The Real Cie
4 years ago

I think it would be worth it to weaponize my vagina if it will keep these idiots away. Unfortunately, nothing seems to stop them from spewing their crap.

Moggie
Moggie
4 years ago

WHEN THE SOVIET UNION COLLAPSED THEY WEAPONIZED 3 THINGS, THE INTERNET, MONEY AND THE VAGINA! TWO ITEMS ARE COMPLICATED SO FOLLOW THE MONEY!

Can someone explain how the former Soviet Union weaponised the vagina? Should the west be concerned about a vagina gap?

Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

Happy Birthday Katiekitten!

And no, that’s not even slightly old 🙂

Shadowplay
4 years ago

Should the west be concerned about a vagina gap?

Is this the new thigh gap?

BritterSweet
4 years ago

Hate to pretend to hate to break it to the one saying 2d women are his only hope now, but even their vaginas are weaponized by the dreaded feminism!

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occasional reader
occasional reader
4 years ago

Out of topic, and maybe someone had put it in another topic, but there has been some comments about the White house interns of this year.
Well, after all it is not called the WHITE House for nothing, I guess.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
4 years ago

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</I AM MATURE>

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
4 years ago

@BritterSweet:

Where is that gif from? I have to know!

Shadowplay
4 years ago

Totally off topic:

Bill Waterstone came out of retirement for one day. Did a crossover comic with Bloom County.

EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

Even if snuff porn is all or almost all faked (which I’ve also heard, and I can definitely believe), there’s still the question of how such media influences its viewers.

Nequam
Nequam
4 years ago

I dunno about vaginas as weapons. Maybe someone watched a sped-up birth video and decided vaginas were potential projectile launchers?

Well, there is that ping-pong ball trick from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

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