alt-right capybaras davis aurini irony alert literal nazis matt forney men who should not ever be with women ever

This Alt-Right Reservoir Dogs title sequence is the cringiest cringy cringe video crin

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Note to aspiring douchebag filmmakers: Filming a group of dudes walking down the street does not make you Quentin Tarantino.

Note to groups of dudes walking down the street: walking down the street in a group does not make you cool.

Both of these statements go double for any group of dudes that includes Davis Aurini, Matt Forney, Aaron Clarey and/or whoever those other dudes in the video are.

If you don’t feel like watching the whole video, this screengrab captures some of the excitement:


Here for purposes of comparison, is the original Reservoir Dogs title sequence.

And here, for somewhat less direct comparison purposes, is a capybara eating celery:

Also, Alt-Right dudes, in case you’re thinking of making any more homages to Quentin Tarantino, please keep in mind that Quentin Tarantino HATES NAZIS.

94 replies on “This Alt-Right Reservoir Dogs title sequence is the cringiest cringy cringe video crin”

Uuuhhhh Tarantino rallied for BLM and is known for casting black actors in roles originally cast for white people. He also LOVES badass women…
Do these idiots know this? Are they really that stupid??? The last director to approve of anything they say would be Tarantino….

Am i the only one who thought matt forney was walking awkward like he was injured or something?

Losers. Couldn’t even scrape together a full cast. This is the kinda thing a group of teenagers do to make themselves look cool and regret later in life (and by later, I mean like six months).

In unrelated horrible news, the re-trial of the vile Ched Evans has started today. As a result the rabid rape apologists are slinking slavering from under their bridges.

If you play both videos at once, the capybara crunches along to Little Green Bag quite rhythmically!

I have no problem with alt-right weirdos copying movies to be ‘cool’ as long as they don’t hurt anyone.
I DO have a problem with them not only ripping off one of the best movies of one of my favourite directors, but also a director who has demonstrated himself as counter to pretty much all of the alt-right’s racist, sexist, semi-fascist rhetoric.

Tough guys, how do they walk?? *tilts chin up menacingly towards the camera*

In unrelated horrible news, the re-trial of the vile Ched Evans has started today. As a result the rabid rape apologists are slinking slavering from under their bridges.

wait,re-trial? WTF? what supposedly went wrong the first time to warren a re-trial?

I thought Toronto was a magical place of kung-fu fights and indie rock bands.

Instead, I discover it’s a place where Matt Forney and Davis Aurini(in a flasher trenchcoat) film themselves walking down the street attempting to look tough.

Scott Pilgrim lied to me.

They’re all man child losers, but I think Aaron Clarey is the worst looking of the bunch. You can tell he perceives himself as a total “motorcycle bad boy” but he looks like a low buck, Sears off-the-rack cast off from Wild Hogs. The tucked in t-shirt, and blappy jeans, and that puffy leather jacket? The is the man behind Asshole Consulting. People pay him for advice. For real. Too funny.

I thought Toronto was a magical place of kung-fu fights and indie rock bands.

Instead, I discover it’s a place where Matt Forney and Davis Aurini(in a flasher trenchcoat) film themselves walking down the street attempting to look tough.

Scott Pilgrim lied to me.

If Scott Pilgrim were to defeat that bunch in a fight all they would turn into would be a hand full of pennies which are no longer in circulation in Canada.

@Steven Lawt

Mustard? Goldenrod? 1970’s appliance?

(interior desecrator color names are fun.)

I love celery. I eat it raw with PB or tahini. :3
The noise of the celery-eating capy attracted my dog, perhaps she thought a hare had gotten inside.
There are good things in the world.

Poor MRAs… they have exactly zero hope of nailing down that badass powerwalk look.

Or should I say that those hopes are actually down to negatives?

I guess that guy on the far right didn’t get the ‘goatee mandatory’ memo?

[Sees the chance]

[Deep breath]

They’re ALL on the far right! 😀

[Runs, laughing maniacally, into the night]

Someone saw the take where the huge pole went in front of the entire (shaky, hand-held, undirected) shot and went “Yeah, that’s the part we want to use.”

– dlouwe

Lol, do you think they took more than one take? I’ll bet this is pretty much all the footage they recorded. I doubt they even considered a re-take, after all, they think this trailer is good enough to represent their project. Besides which, I can’t imagine them walking aaaall the way back down the street to do it again. 😛

I immediately noticed Forney looking into the camera – a couple of them do it, but Forney then tilts his chin up a little self-consciously, and it throws the whole “cool” vibe literally within 10 seconds of the camera rolling.

What are Karl and Aaron holding in their hands? It looks like they wore baseball hats, and were told to take them off, and are just left awkwarly carrying them around.

Bwahahaha, Aurini gets to have a well-lit staged shot of himself instead of a blurry still from the video (is it even from the same city?). “And Davis”, making himself the centre of attention.
Did anyone else notice that the portraits all have different margins around them, like someone’s poorly-alligned Powerpoint slide?

There’s so much fail here, it makes me wonder why they bothered trying to rip off Tarantino in the first place. I mean, why invite comparison that’s going to throw your incompetence into sharp relief?
And I have no idea what parallel they are trying to draw thematically between their film and Reservoir Dogs, other than “this’ll make us look cool”.
The audio doesn’t really match up to the video sequences, or provide any contextual information for the trailer.
For one thing, they left in some of the audio leading into the first scene of RD, which seems messy and makes it look even more like plagiarism than homage.

Oh how I love that capybara eating celery. Reminds me of the child-minder that looked after our first child when she was tiny. There were two other littlies there on most days. For “afternoon tea”, the carer often gave them a banana each. She had this arrangement of three small child car seats lined up against a wall.

So, she straps in three little gorgeous ones. Hands each a banana. The ones on each end of this row just eat it the way you’d expect. The middle one? She put one end of the banana in her mouth, put one hand flat against the other end, then pushed and munched steadily until the whole thing had been consumed in one smooth process.

Apparently the carer knew enough not to laugh at small children, but she had to exert a fair control on her reactions.

@ mildlymagnificent

Re: banana eating

I was once working with someone who had occasion to eat a banana.

She held it by the stalk and peeled the other end and started from there. When she saw me raise a quizzical eyebrow she stated (and I just wish I could convey the seriousness of the tone in which she did so).

“That’s the proper way. That’s the monkeys’ way.”

(She had a point though and now I eat bananas like that)

@ Alan Robertshaw

An Argentinian man once told me that’s how they eat bananas in Argentina. Have not confirmed. However, I started opening them that way, and it really is easier! No more of that “twist the stem and mash the top third of the fruit” mess.

@ bill

However, I started opening them that way, and it really is easier!

I know; isn’t it just?

With hindsight, the monkeys were the obvious people to ask.

@ alan and bill stickers: i use my nail to cut a little slit in the top of the banana, and don’t get a mushed top. I keep my nails pretty short, so this is totally possible to do with short nails.

Re: toronto
Is that toronto? Those green garbage cans look right, as do the cement posts when they are inexplicably caught in a loop walking down a path, but someone said this was Cincinnati.

@ rhuu

I used to do that, but I still got stuck with the actual stalk not fully splitting and the resulting twisting and pulling ending with the mess Bill mentions. So I think we have to give this one to the monkeys.

(We sussed fire, and calculators, and Pokemon and stuff though; so I think we still win)


He was convicted. Went to prison. Appealed, Lost – appealed again, lost. That would normally be the end. But being a rich footballer with a rich girlfriend’s father was able to buy a criminal cases review which referred for a third appeal.

This court quashed the original conviction in favour of a retrial – which started yesterday.

@ mildlymagnificent, Alan Robertshaw

Yes, that’s what I tell people too. The advantage is that you don’t get the strings of pith that occur if you peel it the established way.

Not all monkeys bother with peeling bananas however, and some of the ones that do, eat the peel and throw the banana away. This last can be more a case of the individual monkey’s taste than species behaviour.

More on topic, the film ‘Reservoir Dogs’ was not about a bunch of cool guys on a mission so much as a bunch of unredeemable assholes who botched the job and ended up violently turning on each other amid much hysterical screaming. It was also, as I recall, very entertaining to watch. A bit like that time when Aurini and his mate Jordan Owen botched their own job and ended up turning on each other amid much hysterical screaming, come to think of it. Seeing this, I sense more entertainment ahead.

EDIT: I just read Michael Lindsay’s comment. He got there before me.

It’s almost like they don’t understand how the aesthetic feeds into the cool. Also, that these are criminals (SPOILERS except for the one that isn’t) and therefore the aesthetic is the only thing that makes them cool. But the aesthetic is not what they feel the need to copy. Oh dear.

I enjoyed that Kevin Logan remix but I think I would have preferred (as someone said here earlier), the Benny Hill theme over sped up footage.

Oh and on the “where are they” issue, they’re in Cincinnati, in front of the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center, which they presumably picked because they’re racist shitheads who thought that would be funny.

They’re trying to look badass, but they’re crossing with the light. Couldn’t they at least have jaywalked?

I thought I was prepared.
I was not.

Sometimes in life you wish there were some sort of sign that you’re living life right, hope is justified and that unexpected rewards can lay just over the next hill.

*single tear*

Wishes really do come true.


I just taught my colleague to open bananas that way (even down to the monkey-style explanation). She taught it on to another colleague and now we all do it. It’s the New Banana Movement! (NBM)

@ reimalebario

It’s the New Banana Movement! (NBM)

I’m in! Let’s take a lead from the monkeys, in all areas of life.

Of course we’ll probably regret this when it ends up with the Statue of Liberty up to her neck in sand.

@ citizen justin

eat the peel and throw the banana away

I do quite like eating orange peel; although I usually save the rest of the orange for later.

I too am glad that these silly dudes are spending their time on projects that don’t harm anyone and provide entertainment for the rest of us. I feel like the reason their movement seems so talentless is because talent requires effort, realizing your work is not always the best thing ever (that you can improve), and being able to take criticism w. If they already think they’re the best, they’re not going to get any better. So it could possible that their movement both attracts talentless people and their ideology squashes traits that contribute to talent.

On bananas: I’ve always peeled bananas by the black tipped end, never the stalk. So it doesn’t seem new to me at all. It’s the way my mom did it. (And my grandmother would eat the stringy part of the peel. This may have been a habit from living through famine in China.) I don’t think I’d encountered someone peeling it by the stalk until I was an adult (and I’m born and raised in California, though I can’t say my experiences are typical) though I can’t say I see people peeling bananas all the time. What I found weird was last year when a co-worker peeled off the banana peel completely and held it by the flesh to eat. He said he didn’t like the sensation if the peel draped over his hand.

You’re all crazy! The stalk is nature’s easy-open banana handle.

If we imitate monkeys, we’ll all end up throwing poo at each other. Is that what you want? A world full of poo throwing? I sure don’t!

Peel bananas the proper way and say NO to poo throwing.

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