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Trump superfan Mike Cernovich thinks he caused Hillary’s recent illness … WITH A TWEET

Cerno the Magnificent
Cerno the Magnificent

It’s not news that alt-right lawyer and juice enthusiast Mike Cernovich is a little, well, off.

Now he’s taken that weirdness to a whole new level with a post suggesting that he and other Trump supporters caused Hillary to get sick … with their minds. Or at least with their Tweets.

Life is about feeling the music rather than listening to the words. … 

When you feel what I’m writing, when you look behind the text, you see something far deeper and more spiritual.

What if we caused sick Hillary to have her coughing fit?

What if we manifested her health problems?

Sound crazy? Then don’t look at the date of this Tweet.

Here’s the tweet that apparently gave Hillary pneumonia:

https://twitter.com/Cernovich/status/756528011617431552?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Cernovich then links to another post of his in which he explains how he made himself, like, the coolest dude on the Internet with the power of his imagination:

I imagined myself becoming the hottest journalist breaking the biggest stories. Then I went to Hungary to expose the media lies about “refugees.” I busted hoaxes, and then I faced down an angry mob of hundreds of people.

I imagined myself changing the culture through the power of my mind. Now I’m making films and my Twitter receives over 30 million views a month, and multiple stories have gone viral.

How do you imagine me?

You imagine me as I imagine myself.

My imagination manifests itself as will, which imposes itself on reality.

Hate to break it to you, dude, but I’m pretty sure most people who are even aware of your existence imagine you just a teensy bit differently than you imagine yourself.

But, hey, maybe he really did give Hillary pneumonia with a tweet. If tweets really do have that kind of power, Donald Trump may soon have to buy some baggier pants — to hide his TAIL.

Keep your eye on Trump’s posterior. We can do this, people!

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Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

So guys,

Whaddya figure the odds are that Dave Alvord is really – Mick Dash?

Yeah, that guy that heaped lie upon lie about being in a ‘gender studies’ course – without knowing thing one about what gender studies – or university – are actually about.

And the guy – you know, that guy – that exploded in brilliant fashion when properly prodded.

Oh, and of course – you can’t forget the fact that he took someones personal story of abuse from that very same thread – and twisted it to score a cheap point.

I seem to remember – he liked dashes a lot too. Kinda like this Dave Alvord jerk.

Whaddya figure the odds are that it’s the same guy?

uncultured marxist
uncultured marxist
5 years ago

Keep your eye on Trump’s posterior.

pass

msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

@Scildfreja Unnýðnes

Hey, you’re the one who gets me all hot and bothered with your numbers and statistics! So you tell me, what are the odds? (gets comfortable in front of the computer, turns down lights and clicks play on itunes “sexy sexy songs” playlist)

😛

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

No offence was taken, Margaret. Thank you for continuing to be as awesome as you have long been.

peaches
peaches
5 years ago

Sinkable John-man, pal, been there. *salutes with iced tea*

This place is cool, those of us with mental illness can be open about it. Is it because there’s a ban on armchair diagnosis? Probably not, but the mindfullness it instills might.

(Not a dig at Margaret Pless-everyone does it. I do it all the time, I call it ‘bipolar goggles’. I think since I have it, everyone does.)

Paranoia is a real problem too. Last week I decided that two of my medications that looked very similar were in fact the same one, and avoided one of them for fear of overdose. Last night I went to check them again and lo, there were in fact two separate pills. So I started taking them again.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

@Moggie

He’s a LINO (Lawyer In Name Only). Like Margaret Pless wrote, he’s never been a practicing lawyer.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

IP:

He’s a LINO (Lawyer In Name Only). Like Margaret Pless wrote, he’s never been a practicing lawyer.

Ohhh, that makes sense. The fake attorney is an interesting subspecies of Internet tough guy. I hope he eventually finds a way to feel good about himself without the posturing, because that’s not a good way to live.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llz351yX6q1qis4q9o1_500.gif

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
5 years ago

@Scildfreja
Meet the Incredible Shifting Troll! Witness him as he changes faces and forms right before your very eyes! In an instant he can turn from a thin skinned engineer to a shoddy rendition of a Gender Studies student, from rugged survivalist to the two headed snake that always speak in opposites, he can do it all!

Available whenever on WeHuntedTheMammoth! Come on down to witness this spectacle!*

*Warning witnessing the IST over a lengthy period of time and engaging with it has side effects of; nausea, irritation, bemusement, tired beligerance and other common ailments. If the IST begins to act incredibly hostile to the point of harming the audience contact the nearest Ringmaster so the Ringmaster can remove IST from the premises.

A wolverine
A wolverine
5 years ago

I can’t believe that the Hillary health weirdos think Mike the Cum Wizard is useful to them.

I mean his beliefs on health are just so wacky that you’d think even the people who are positive that Hillary has a half dozen terminal diseases would take a step back from him

mcbender
5 years ago

Does anyone else find it incredibly ironic this misogynistic douchefuck is now promoting the ideas of The Secret, when that book was written by a woman?

(Margaret Pless, that post was fascinating)

Margaret Pless
Margaret Pless
5 years ago

@mcbender

I’m not. Michael was house-husband to a former law school classmate for years, but when she divorced him, he demanded (and received) a sizeable alimony payment. Thing is, *Michael’s ex-wife* actually is a very successful lawyer for a hugely successful tech company, whereas Mike wrote Crime and Federalism. At that point, he had no problem demanding a large alimony payment from his ex-wife’s stock awards. And FWIW, he got it – his ex-wife paid him about $2 million to go away. So no, I would say he has no problem reaping the benefits of someone else’s work when it suits him.

Remmet
Remmet
5 years ago

Woah, that’s some Exalted shit right there. There’s an Abyssal charm that allows you to cause physical damage through a letter or similar. So, Mike’s an Abyssal?

(For those that don’t know, Exalted is a tabletop RPG made by White Wolf. It’s pretty epic)

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

@Ogglybooglie, (sorry, your name’s just so fun)

http://youtu.be/NYdE1b-s5S0?t=269

@msexceptiontotherule

oh, oh my. Well, I guess I better, shouldn’t I 😮

There are algorithms that can be used to determine similarities in the written word; in grammar and vocabulary and word choice. Topic similarity is something that has a lot of activity right now. TF-IDF (term frequency–inverse document frequency) is an algorithm which determines how important a given word is to a document, for example. This algorithm doesn’t just count frequency, but actually examines sentence and paragraph structure to determine what the topics of each linguistic unit are, and then ranks and organizes all the words by those metrics.

(… holy noodle. Why haven’t I done that to the GamerGate corpus yet? That’s practically begging for semantic analysis. Next time one of those jerks shows up, could just give them the actual lexical breakdown of the people involved.)

If TF-IDF doesn’t slice your pie, then there’s LSA. LSA, or Latent semantic analysis, does similar things to TF-IDF, but instead of the raw lexical decomposition, it crams all of the words int he corpus into a huge matrix and then reduces the matrix down, collapsing similar words together into single rows and adjusting the weights of the rows. This requires some tinkering to get right, and needs to be tuned to the jargon of the corpus you’re working with, but the end result is a very robust system that can be used to compare entries. So, after training such a system on Mick Dash’s commentary, the resulting network could be used to get a similarity score between the two.

And then there’s LSA’s dark voodoo magic twin, LDA, or Latent Dirichlet allocation. It’s a related but newer technique, doing the same general procedure but… well, there’s some serious black magic going on in the term collapsing. It uses a probabilistic, Bayesian method which is sort of… er, well, you see, it sort of learns the topics as it goes. Where LSA assumes that the corpus is all about Topic A (in our case, the topic being “Mick Dash”), LDA assumes that the corpus is about Topic A, but is mixed with a whole bunch of other crufty nonsense. So it probabilistically slices the whole globby corpus into what it thinks the topics are, and its slices get more and more accurate and refined as the algorithm proceeds.

That’s only a slim sliver of what could be done to weed out whether Troll A is actually Troll B. It’d work better on the mendacious, long-winded trolls like MarkoMark or MiggyToe, given that they’ve got a larger corpus to work with. But, still. Many-bladed are the arms which I wield; many links are in the chain of my armour.

http://www.ecorazzi.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/candles.jpg

msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

@Scildfreja Unnýðnes

Dark voodoo magic twin, you say?

My god we need to clone you and distribute the clones amongst those of us here who LOVE your mind. No clones for the troll(s) though – wait….hmmmmmm….how do you feel about your clones making their heads (the troll[s]) implode?

Btw, the mister said to tell you “thanks” for him! (wink)

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

Baww, you guyse, you’re too much. Cloning me would be a really bad idea, I promise. I don’t think the internet could handle that level of dorkitude.

I’ve been thinking of ways to make troll heads heads pop, though! Like I said – why haven’t I just jammed all the gamergate garbage into an LDA stack or something? I mean, it might be just the ticket for distinguishing between the gators and the people who oppose the gators.

I gotta wonder if that’s the sort of thing that could be handy in creating a really robust gator filter? Or just something as simple as a paper that says “You say it’s about ethics in games journalism, huh? Here’s ten gigabytes of evidence that it’s about harassment and misogyny.”

Honestly, I just want to smack’em with science a little. They seem to think that rationality is their private party and anyone who disagrees with them is just being emotional. Dropping a load’a science-rocks on their heads just feels so damn good 😀

Anyways, you two have fun doing your own science! 😉

Monster-Teeth
Monster-Teeth
5 years ago

So what crazy shit is Mike Cernovich putting in that juice of his?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@Scildfreja

Seems like the first step in making GG’s heads asplode is to make them think and take in information, and that ain’t easy. People who are impervious to facts, impervious to words, are just annoying and tedious, not fun to me. Sadly I have a lot of those types in my life right now, and it’s tiring to put effort into a conversation only to realize that everything I’ve said has run straight through without stopping.

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
5 years ago

@PoM
I don’t know which brand is worse to me the folk will that try to make things falsely equal like saying that feminists are worse than antifeminists then packpedal to get middle ground, or the ones who keep saying “projection” like a magic word and sourceless assertions. The former pisses me off because its so smarmy, the other annoys me because they won’t stop for so long.

FunnyVoice
FunnyVoice
5 years ago

@Margaretpless

Thank you for those articles. I don’t blame you for your assessment of him, because he’s essentially selling alt-right, toxic masculinity as a life-style choice like any other fitness fad. (And sadly some people subscribe to this thought) He’s completely scrapped it to appeal to his Trump/Alt-Right fanbase since that’s all he posts about, especially in one of his recent articles where he goes “I don’t support the alt-right, but I want them to succeed in every way.”

His attitude is bursting at the seems from how often he posts on social media and overreacts to any descent. As they say, monkeys with smaller testicles yell louder.

epitome of incomprehensibility

@mcbender – Oh yes, The Secret – that’s what this reminded me of, where “positive thinking makes you more likely to succeed” got turned into “you can bend reality to your will IF YOU BUY MY BOOK AND RELATED MERCHANDISE”. Though I’m not sure “let’s hope Hillary Clinton gets sick” counts as positive thinking.

@Scildfreja – ooh, that stuff is fascinating. I saw some research presentations on programming-aided linguistics, and one of them was about making machine translation better. The problem with machine translation is that it often doesn’t get the context right (e.g. a funny Google Translate moment of mine: “chère” in a letter greeting became “expensive” instead of “dear”). The researcher’s solution was to feed her program a large corpus of text – she used Wikipedia – to get it to recognize the most common word combinations. I think she was using Python, and of course she couldn’t stuff all of Wikipedia into it, so fancy database stuff was involved.

Not that I’m telling you anything you don’t already know 🙂

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

Yup! That’s basically the trick, @epitome of incomprehensibility. Figure out a classifier and cramallama the whole ding-dang-dictionary into it, and see what falls out the other side. Python’s great for that – even though it’s slow as heck, you’re generally spending way more time waiting for database or network calls anyways, so the slow processing’s not that big of a deal.

I personally prefer to work in Java, but I’ve used all sorts of stuff for it, and I gotta say that Python’s one of the quickest for scrubbin’ up quick prototypes.

(It’s absolutely terrible in a few ways, though, and its enforced whitespace makes me twitchy sometimes, but still)

I am hoping that Scala continues to grow, because it seems the best of both worlds – Java’s speed and robust VM, with Python’s quick prototyping and legible code. There’s some funky stuff goin’ on in Eclipse when it starts interacting with Maven and Cassandra and Spark and all the other greebles I have running, though, so it may have to wait awhile.

Anyways! Dork stuff, fun!

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

As they say, monkeys with smaller testicles yell louder.

Not cool.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
5 years ago

@PoM
Yeah, monkeys have more self respect than them.

Handsome "Punkle Stan" Jack

As they say, monkeys with smaller testicles yell louder.

Seconding POM. Not cool.

brian
brian
5 years ago

Why is that “not cool”?
I’d agree that, in general, insulting people based on supposed genital size is a stupid and “not cool” but given that Juicebro’s alleged virility and “potency” is part of his whole schtick (Isn’t he the guy who talked about how his, um, his “personal juice,” let’s say, was addictive to women?), it seems like a reasonable and fair jab.

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