alpha males alt-right douchebaggery parody post contains jokes post contains sarcasm trump

That $20,000 Donald Trump painting: Found?

The Timeless Art of Trumpduction
The Timeless Art of Trumpduction

A We Hunted the Mammoth EXCLUSIVE!!!! I have crudely photoshopped found a fake version of the mysterious and surprisingly sexy painting that Trump had his “charity” buy him for $20,000!

Alas, it is not quite as sexy as this actual real painting of Trump on display at Mar-a-Lago.

The Timeless Sweater of Seduction
The Timeless Sweater of Seduction

That is a real painting that exists (though not the one his charity paid $20,000 for).

124 replies on “That $20,000 Donald Trump painting: Found?”


We’ve seen this thing on here before, the clubs that do ‘special offers’ for women are just getting the stock in cheap for the male’s sex smorgasbord. After all, if you a woman going out to a club with her mates you are basically what a herd of wildebeest are to a hungry lion. Nothing more. Did you think you went for the music and to have a dance? Guess again.


Psychological warfare, eh?

There are many places where a white, male, cis, etc person can “gum up the gears” psychologically speaking when there is in-group persuasion in play. I got on the bandwagon early when it came to SJW. A current fave on Facebook is questioning and disparaging the whole idea of “white pride” (because it has no value outside of racial competition for white people and is de facto racist).


61. If I go to a club or bar with my girlfriends and I look my sexy best I have a right to be perturbed when men approach me and hit on me in this public place.

Wait, they think women shouldn’t have the right to feel perturbed? Seriously? What kind of INGSOC bullshit is this?

Also, he already has the right to feel perturbed when he’s out at the club with his girlfriends looking his sexy best and men approach him and hit on him. In fact, if that were to happen I bet he would be way more perturbed than a woman would.

I think the MRA’s forgot one on their little list “Girls are gross and have cooties but the teacher sometimes still makes boys sit next to them during story time”

All that typing has exhausted me. I’m going to need one of you guy mammotheers to make me a Red Bull and vodka and then give me a child support check. Do it now or I’ll have you drafted!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA thanks for the larf 😉

As Brony says, it often shuts people up remarkably quickly.

It also provides an umbrella effect, under which it’s easier for other people to admit to holding feminist or progressive views. I hope this is a good way to be an ally.

Tragically, I suspect that it may. I’m sure their reaction would also be very perturbed if a woman hit on them while she was committing the unforgivable sin of not being young and slender.

It’s straight-up bullshit, as you say. And it’s entirely un-self-aware bullshit, which somehow makes it far more hilarious.

I think they missed another three, too.

1) I claim that boys have cooties, despite knowing full well that there is no such thing as cooties.

2) I have cooties.

3) My mother sometimes puts a cookie in my lunchbox on days when some of the boys in the class have misbehaved and so didn’t get a cookie.


My mother sometimes puts a cookie in my lunchbox on days when some of the boys in the class have misbehaved and so didn’t get a cookie

Why does she get blinged up with cookies and this, that, and everything else? That’s so unfair. Isn’t it tho? We, like, haven’t been given no cookies, and we is better at maths and science and shit than they is

@ brony

disparaging the whole idea of “white pride”

I try to play my part by being an embarrassment to white folks everywhere.

A friend of mine recently did his hair in corn rows, which really suited him even tho he is a forty year old white man. He’s a drummer and a jazz pianist. I know a lot of people get upset about cultural misappropriation, but he didn’t get criticised by black people. His jazz buddies thought it was cool. He got told to undo it by bigoted conservatives at his church. They do not even like him wearing a ponytail.

From the “feeemale Priviledge list”

33. If I “choose” to join the military; the best military occupations providing the most lucrative civilian training will be reserved for me. I will be kept away from the fighting as much as possible to the point that I will be thirty times less likely to be killed in a war zone than my male counterparts. I will be given equal pay for less risk. I will never have to consider the fact that by joining the military and getting a plumb assignment I automatically forced a male out of that position and into a combat role that may cost him his life.

This is all a bunch of nonsense. While it was true for a long time that women weren’t allowed combat positions, it isn’t any more.

The rest has been untrue for a lot longer. “Plumb” assignments go to those that have the aptitude for them (the ASVAB* has been a thing since the 1970s.) Combat pay and hazardous duty pay, among others are things that existed when I was active duty in the 1980s. Military members who don’t meet the criteria for special pay don’t get it, never have.

I am, of course, only speaking to what I know, which is the U.S. military (USAF 1979 – 1987 to be precise)

*Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery test. Everyone takes it when they sign with a recruiter. I also got to take the DLAB, Defense Language Aptitude Battery as a result of my ASVAB scores.

I went through Banbury stations a couple of weeks back, and my mind wandered a bit back to that old nursary rhyme, “ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross”, which made me wonder, is a Cock Horse the old fashioned version of a Cock Carousel?

@ Virgin Mary

It’s a pity you didn’t have time to get off the train. There’s a really cool cock horse statue near the station.

I suppose that you could easily enough attach a dildo to a stick horse, although I haven’t seen one.

Cock Carousel always makes me picture a round of Sybians, with heads and tails on, spinning merrily to the sound of tinkling organ music. I also believe that such a thing ought to exist, but I haven’t got the half million or so dollars such a thing would cost.

Those Armstrong and Miller characters are fascinating to me. To what extent is their vocabulary & style of speech a personal invention of those performers? If it’s inspired by or a mimicry of one or more particular English subcultures, which?

Am I correct in speculating that it feels as if they’ve grafted diction and idiom from a modern working class dialect onto the rhythm and inflection of an older, upper-class dialect?

Just clearing up some stuff about the Marks, because this shit’s getting complicated:

We have two Marks, ProPatria Truthteller (who posts misspelled Mad Lib conspiracy theories) and Mark Minter (who posts page-long copypastas about how marriage is the worst thing since the Holocaust). Mick is definitely Mark #1, and I’m pretty sure that ATMAT is Mark #2.

@weirdwoodtreehugger what even is that list

88. I’m more likely to believe that women who commit crimes are sick and need treatment or understanding whereas men who commit crimes are evil and should be locked up forever.

No one ever tries to defend cis white male serial killers by saying they were mentally ill. Never happened. I’m clearly confusing Elliot Rodger with a feeeemale.

89. I can criticize the opposite sex without social penalty, but woe be to the man who attempts to criticize me or other women.

Coming from the same group of people who call women c***s and bitches like it’s no big deal. Priceless.

90. I can throw a fit and act like a two year old to get what I want without damaging my mate value.

Women can act immature with no repercussions, while men have to be super grown up all the time. For evidence see every hated female celebrity ever and the entire community of Youtube intellectuals. Starting with TAA.

91. I have the luxury of not being the filter for natural selection.

What the fudging fudge is that even supposed to mean. Is there a commitee of men somewhere deciding what genes ought to be carried into the new generation? What are you talking about?

93. I can wear seductive clothing and perfume to attract a man at work but no one will accuse me of sexual harassment.

Uh, dude? Men can do that too. It’s allowed. It’s not illegal. What is actually illegal is going and, well, harassing people? How would you mix up those two in the first place?

91. I have the luxury of not being the filter for natural selection.

What the fudging fudge is that even supposed to mean. Is there a commitee of men somewhere deciding what genes ought to be carried into the new generation? What are you talking about?

See, women* are the gatekeepers of sex, so they get to decide which men are worthy of procreation. Also, they’re allowed to have abortions, so that puts even more power in their hands.

*No fatties, though.

@ Fabe:

I think the MRA’s forgot one on their little list “Girls are gross and have cooties but the teacher sometimes still makes boys sit next to them during story time”

That’s an important one! Another is that the villains are always the bad *guys* never the bad *gals*…they forgot that privilege.

@Alan: “I’ve always believed it’s better to be a horrible warning than a shining example.”

I don’t necessarily believe it’s better…but it’s a hell of a lot more fun

About the PMS Defense for murder, google shows nothing related to murderin the US but I found two rejected and one successful use for other offenses. The successful case was decried by feminists but we already know there is no use pointing this out.
Baltimore Sun quote: America’s first successful criminal defense based on premenstrual syndrome may have helped a Virginia surgeon avoid a drunken-driving conviction, but it has also revived controversy over the validity of making a courtroom issue of the monthly physical and psychological changes reported by many women.

“It hurts our credibility,” said Grace Burke, the prosecutor who lost the recent case. “I’m sure men are just shaking their heads at this.”

Defendants in Britain and France have benefited from PMS claims since an Englishwoman accused of murder was convicted of a reduced charge of manslaughter in 1979. Only three cases are known under U.S. law.

In 1982, Elizabeth Holtzman, the Brooklyn district attorney at the time, vigorously opposed a PMS claim in a motion by Shirley Santos to dismiss a felony charge of beating her 4-year-old daughter. Ms. Santos abandoned the defense, plea-bargaining to a misdemeanor harassment count.

In 1983, a federal judge in Denver rejected the PMS contentions of Jamie Lynn Irvin, who had stabbed her roommate. And a Sanford, Fla., jury convicted Margaret Pitt in 1985 despite her argument that PMS caused her to assault three people with a car.
End quote

Further research from Australia gives us “About five per cent of women have a severe form of PMS known as premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). This can be associated with extreme aggression, anxiety and blood sugar disturbances. It can lead to psychosis, suicide and even murder.” This article also covers cases using this as a mitigating factor in defense in situations of women suffering PMDD.

What I noted in the Australian piece was the study compared the impact of PMS in heterosexual or homosexual relationships.

“Women in same-sex relationships reported the same symptoms but experienced less distress.

“Women in lesbian relationships feel much less distressed by their symptoms even though they’re at the same level, and they feel much more able to cope,” Ussher says.”


I know it’s a bit old but I wanted to weigh in on the female privilege list…

47. I may denounce the concept of a dowry, however, I still expect a man to give me an engagement ring when he asks me to marry him.
48. I expect a man to ask me to marry me and suffer the potential risk of rejection.

I proposed to my bf, so I had to buy the rings and risk the rejection (oh noes!) I wanna point out though too, that his ring cost DOUBLE what mine did, because it was a larger size and wider band (I bought 2 matching white gold rings and had them engraved, ‘cos there’s no tradition for girls asking guys, so I just did whatever I felt like. We’ll get matching ones with some actual gems in them when we get married. Yeah, I realise this is doing things completely backwards.)

Oh, and a couple of friends of mine couldn’t afford the rings they wanted when they got married, so they used Haribo candy rings instead. XD They have the huge advantage of being easy to replace and edible if they break too! Plus it was super cute.

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