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kitties no trolls allowed off topic open thread

Open Thread for Personal Stuff: Mid-August 2015 Big Shoes Edition

Damn it, even my shoes are too big.
Damn it, even my shoes are too big.

An open thread for personal stuff. As always with open threads, no trolls, no MRAs, etc.

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davidknewton
6 years ago

Well, to open it up and as I’ve been in the habit of spamming this everywhere today, I got a game released on Steam!

http://store.steampowered.com/app/340250/

Unfortunately this isn’t very relevant to the contents of this group – in fact I realized while touching it up for a re-release that all the human characters in it were vaguely white-looking men, an example of just how oblivious people like me can be to the gender balance even if they think they’re reasonably progressive. (Come to think of it, I wonder if I can bribe some people to kick up a fuss about it so that a load of Gamergate wallies buy it as a misguided counter-protest…)

Luzbelitx - from my phone
Luzbelitx - from my phone
6 years ago

Hey everyone!

I need to say goodbye, at least for a while.

The past few day have been great here in WHTM, and out here in real lfe.

I have been spending way more time than I can afford in social networks and I need to mind my worldly affairs. The good thing is, I am resuming therapy so I can hope it will keep getting better.

Thank you David for this space, keep up the good work, because I can’t promise no to lurk around here šŸ˜‰

And thank you everyone else too, keep being awesome and keep up the misandry!

I will miss you all, so have some kitties:

http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn214/stylistcut/small_9222104455501093369.gif

http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q56/pamelasag61/6165.gif

http://i1215.photobucket.com/albums/cc507/chasderpton/cats-paws.gif

http://i379.photobucket.com/albums/oo235/youwh/Cats/av-104399-1224854200.gif

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

@Luzbelitx
We’ll miss you and hope you come back again and comment.

Congrats on the therapy & I hope it goes well.

And thanks for the kittyz!

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

@davidknewton
Congratulations! I’m not a gamer but it looks charming. And saving the world’s music? That’s progressive.

Wanda
Wanda
6 years ago

@davidknewton
If it makes you feel better, most of my novels are male-dominated, though to be fair, they’re pretty gay too, so there’s that. >_>

As for moi, I’m nearing six months of unemployment now, and it’s really difficult to keep a positive outlook on pretty much anything. :T After college, I got a job two months after leaving my summer job, so this time around I was thinking “hey, the economy is better and I have two years of experience, I hate this place, I’m leaving”. I guess that first time was a fluke, because i have literally had eight interviews and have had no success. Well, I did have one offer, but considering it had no benefits and the cost of living in DC is much higher than it was in Pittsburgh, I turned it down. I think that if I could go back and redo it, I probably would have taken it. It sucks ass all around.

I did manage to get one book published and another self-published, but the one has provided me with no money thus far and the other performed about as I expected– I think I sold, like, ten copies. I told myself to have zero expectations and ten is better than zero, so… yay?

I know I’m a talented artist and writer, but life has really beat the shit out of me lately so that it all feels pointless. I should just sell insurance like these people spamming my email want me to do.

I’m kinda pissed because in high school and college they force these really high expectations on you, and when you get to the real world you’re like “wow, this totally sucks”. So I’ve been dealing with this disappointment for three years since graduation and it’s gotten to the point I am envying my dog because she’s dumb and cute and goddamn it, I just want to lie around all day and occasionally roll over for a belly scratch.

kupo
kupo
6 years ago

@Wanda What’s your book? I’m always looking for an interesting read. šŸ™‚ Sorry about the bad job luck. I hate the whole interview process, so I empathize.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

Wanda | August 12, 2015 at 11:33 pm
I know Iā€™m a talented artist and writer, but life has really beat the shit out of me lately so that it all feels pointless. I should just sell insurance like these people spamming my email want me to do.

You’re in the same boat as me then?

I have a graphic design degree, but I can’t get hired at a graphic design job because I have no experience, and I can’t get hired at places like Target or Wal*Mart because apparently I’m “overqualified”.

It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even have a phone anymore, and I’m trying to get some assistance to get one, but so far, nada.

All I’ve been able to do is make stuff to put on RedBubble, and I’ve only had two sales so far, so at least you got more than me.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

@luzbelitx:

It’s been great having you here. I’ve learned a great deal, not just about Argentinian politics but also about miscellaneous other matters you’ve discussed. You’re a very smart and a very thoughtful person.

I hope therapy works out for you and if you’re ever around in future we’ll be sure to say hi.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

@Wanda, Paradoxy:

Ugh, that sucks. I spent two years in that situation and it was deeply unpleasant and really made me feel bad about myself too. The unemployment trap of “no experience, therefore no job, therefore no experience” is a horrible situation to be in. Please accept as many hugs as you need (unless you’re touchphobic, in which case please accept as many best wishes as you need.)

It sounds like you’re dealing with it by channelling the energy into creativity, which is a useful place to put it and a much healthier way of dealing with it than I did.

NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
6 years ago

I’m on holiday with my sister (she’s my favourite person in the world if you don’t include people I grew myself), my 2 kids and her 2 kids. We’re both single mamas and we don’t have much money so we’re squished in a tiny caravan but we’re having a blast anyway.

The only blip was that I stupidly forgot to pack my mental health medication and started having withdrawals a couple of days ago. Yesterday I had to phone my doctor to get them to fax a prescription to a local pharmacy because I was shaking and dizzy and couldn’t get out of bed. My sister picked up my meds from the pharmacy and I’m feeling much better today.

Today, the kids are going to the arcade with my sister and I’m going to the nudist beach which is only 1km away. It’s a big deal for me because I’m quite body conscious and I’m trying to push myself to be more accepting of my body.

@davidknewton – congrats on the game. That’s awesome!

@Luzbelitx – we really will miss you, I always enjoy reading your comments.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
6 years ago

My shoes are about that big, and I really need to find some new ones. I hate shopping, but thanks for reminder.

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Luzbelitx, good luck! You’ll always be welcome, here. At least, in my books.

I’m halfway through eight day workweek, and five days from seeing my puppy. Mum says he’s feeling a bit better and moving easy now that he’s on a better pain regimen. It isn’t a permenant fix, but him feeling better for now is kind of the best we can get. We’re just hoping to keep him happy and feeling good as long as we can.

In less bittersweet news: Work’s been great. My partner starts precepting tomorrow as a medic at the other station, which means he’ll start getting some hands on experience with patient care. I’m super happy for him, and not just because it’ll mean I can drive the ambulance once in a while…

I also introduced him to Twinkies. The man’s been living in the US for five years, plans to take the citizenship test in the next couple years, and had never had a Twinkie.

One problem: solved.

contrapangloss
6 years ago

… Just point of clarification: WORK partner. No other sorts of partnering are in existence, or desired by either of us.

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

Aren’t Twinkies part of the citizenship test?

skiriki
6 years ago

1) Next week, my birthday. My 40th year of flipping the Grim Reaper the middle finger and stating that I’m still alive.

2) Currently making beef stroganoff (with some interesting variations), and it is simmering in pot, and everything smells amazing.

3) Last week, I was kittysitting my in-laws’ cat (my cat!), and enjoyed eight days of solitude with a cat. For an introvert like me, it was as close to heaven as things can get. Orcus was an adora-pest and I spoiled him rotten with shrimp treats.

https://twitter.com/coyotedancer/status/629097666098667520

So, um, I hope sharing good stuff cheers people?

Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

@ Lux

Aww, really going to miss you. Can I be selfish and say I hope you’re not away too long?

Good luck with everything and thank you for the education. I’ll be watching the Latin world now with slightly more enlightened eyes. Maybe we’ll see you up on that podium (or even balcony) one day! šŸ™‚

You’ve given me lots to think about generally; thank you muse.

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

Turned 45 Tuesday. Feel a little equivocal about it, though I got many well-wishes online and had a nice day trip to San Francisco (also treated myself to several good books and some materials for future book projects).

Ellesar
Ellesar
6 years ago

Sitting with my son on the sofa, he is watching Great British Bake Off I am watching Prodigy videos on youtube (they are still producing music, it isn’t great, but it’s listenable). He asks me to turn it down – I point out that things really are the wrong way round!

Feeling a little raw and frustrated by leaving a few comments on MGTOW videos – I was surprised that no one abused me directly, but this wasn’t of much solace when these guys go on about how useless women are and are then ‘surprised’ when I say that I am sickened by it.

My surgery was cancelled. Both surgeons were ready to go, but there was a shortage of after care staff, exacerbated by the tube strike. I have been waiting for months, and there is no indication of when it will be rebooked. This is the second time – this time I was all gowned and stockinged.

Falconer
Falconer
6 years ago

We’ll miss you, Luz, good luck!

And you must be frustrated, Ellesar. That sucks. May they reschedule you soon.

Luzbelitx - from my phone
Luzbelitx - from my phone
6 years ago

Thank you all for your kind words! I too learned (and will keep learning) from you, and it was people sharing their knowledge and experience who encouraged me to share mine, and I really enjoyed it (sharing facts about Argentina isn’t so fun when everyone in the group is Argentinean ???? )

I will be back as soon as I feel I can participate without escaping my feelings and responsibilities.

Also, big hugs for everyone going through hard times!! I was unemployed for months when my daughter was 4, and it was hard to overcome the feeling of hopelessness. My heart is with you, hang in there!!

@Alan

I have especially enjoyed our latest exchanges, so special thanks to you šŸ™‚

One last story, though: The legendary balcony was never used again after Peron’s death.

It would take a new October Revolution to fill it, I believe. So maybe if one day I become uncomfortably powerful fo the ruling elites, and they put me in jail, all the queerfolk will come to the Plaza de Mayo calling for me.

The upper classes might mistake it for a spontaneous pride parade, though ????

Ok, this is all for now, I love you all!! Don’t cry for me, Mamotheers!
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catgirl
catgirl
6 years ago

Hey guys. I really need someone to talk to.

I went on a date with someone two weeks ago, about. We were supposed to get coffee, but he suggested to grab something to eat at a restaurant. I was hungry, so I agreed, and we had a late lunch and drinks. He was fun to talk to, so we went somewhere else after to get more drinks. I started to feel a little sick/was losing my balance from the drinking, and asked him to take me home. I don’t remember too much after that, but sexual things happened. What’s even more fucked is I remember being an active participant for some of it even though initially I didn’t want him to take my clothes off, I asked him what he was doing, I told him I was on my period and wearing a tampon (I was, which is even more gross for me). My memory is fuzzy but I remember this because when I dont want to have sex with someone, I tell them.

The next day he got mad at me for not wanting to hang out. I was hungover, felt like shit, and didn’t want to sit by the pool. I told him so, and I told him I didn’t like what happened the night before. He changed the topic.

Two days later we got ice cream. Ididn’t let him kiss me. I told him nothing wouldn’t have happened that night if I wasnt so drunk. He changed the topic. When I finally confronted him, he got really mad. He said I was making him feel bad. Why were guys always blamed in this situation, he was drinking too (he was three times my size and drank less than me). I told him what he did made me feel like shit. That if this conversation made him feel bad it was nothing compared to what I had been feeling for days. He eventually calmed down, and at one point in the evening called me his gf which freaked me out.
He keeps texting me, he tried showing up at my house the other day. I don’t know what to do. Part of me feels obligated to talk to him, I don’t know why. Another part feels afraid of him. I just accepted a job in another city that isn’t too far away, and used that to try to cut him off but he got passive aggressive with me aboutit. I feel bad about this (but am still taking the job,# fuckit)

Background on me: I was violently raped by someone I trusted at age 17. I was sober. The conversation I had with this guy reminded me of the conversation I had with my rapist after it happened.
After years of therapy, a therapist helped me realize my relationship with my mother was an unhealthy one. My mother is loving but a huge helicopter and very dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde.
I’ve developed a number of healthy and balanced friendships. But still have trust issues.
My romantic relationships have all had elements of emotional abuse and controlling behavior on the part of my partners.
I dont trust my own judgments when it comes to people given mybackground

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Cat girl, it’s a little too late now… But did you consider getting a blood test? It could have just been the alcohol, but that level of disorientation to the event seems hella sketchy to me.

Even if it was just alcohol, this guy sounds like an awful, awful dude, who just manged to hide his awfulness for your meal.

Don’t feel any guilt about cutting him out of your life.

He’s demonstrated poor judgement, feels no remorse over making you feel bad, violated boundaries, is acting inordinately possessive given your brief history, and is trying to guilt trip you into not making him feel bad for being a jerk.

You don’t need him.

catgirl
catgirl
6 years ago

I thought about the possibility but I also rarely drink so 3+ glasses of wine plus other drinks afterward could do that, possibly.

What made me really angry was how he denied how drunk I was. I didn’t mention that in my first post, but he would say,” you weren’t that drunk.” But I was. I don’t remember pieces of the night. So I was.

Ugh I feel so sick inside and so weak and pathetic. I do so much to avoid this and rarely go out. I even told him that if we continued dating I didn’t want to drink anymore, and he got angry. When I told him it’s because drinking makes me feel bad, he calmed down and said that was fine, and all I could think was that I don’t need his permission to drink or not drink.

contrapangloss
6 years ago

You don’t need his permission to not drink.

All the red flags for ‘This bloke is bad news’. From your descriptions, this is not a nice guy, in any sense, and he should not be trusted.

My ‘scene safety’ senses from my job are at red alert.

You’re an adult, and can make your own decisions. If you think it’s worth it, go for it… But I wouldn’t have anything more to do with him, and I’d do my best to make sure he can’t have anything else to do with me.

Hugs either way, and fingers crossed for you to feel safe and happy in the near future.

Congrats on the new job, by the way!

katz
katz
6 years ago

catgirl: That guy sounds seriously frightening and dangerous. You should definitely not feel like you are at fault–he’s bad news!

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