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Open Thread for Personal Stuff: January 2014 Pretty Cats Make Hats Edition

Pretty Cats Make Hats
Pretty Cats Make Hats

As requested, an open thread. I’ll try to get these up more often in the future. This one will be overseen by Morrissey with a cat on his head.

No trolls, no arguments.

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Ally S
8 years ago

I came out to my dad via email. I am now awaiting his response.

Marie
Marie
8 years ago

@Ally

Sending more internet hugs your way, if you want them.

serrana
serrana
8 years ago
Reply to  Ally S

Oh good, Ally, I’m glad you opted for an email. This way, you had a chance to get all the words in.

I would not blame you one bit if you turned off the phone and your email on your computer and went for a walk or went out for pizza or whatever you’d find comforting. (Of course, only you know what’s best – that’s just a suggestion.)

Here are a whole bunch of hugs from me,

katz
8 years ago

His opinion’s worth jack shit. Do you think less of other people because he disdains them? No. Fuck him. You know he’s going to use any excuse to be foul, because he’s an abuser. He’s an oxygen thief, and mere dogshit under your shoe.

Over here we’ve decided we want to get this comment printed in calligraphy and framed.

kittehserf
8 years ago

::preens::

cloudiah
8 years ago

Coming out via email was very smart.

eli
eli
8 years ago

Glad you made a clean get away, Ally!

kittehserf
8 years ago

So glad you did it by email and not phone.

He can’t trace you by ISP stuff, can he? ::is technologically iggerant::

Sam-I-Was?
8 years ago

Ally, stay strong and as hard as it is right now you need to be selfish. You have a right to be happy, if your happiness isn’t what he had in mind for you he can go to hell. You are just charting new waters and it is sometimes easier to deal with the hell you know but you are worth it. Your family will deal with it eventually but your life is yours. You should not have to live your life to make someone else happy.

Remember that abusers are experts at making you think you are doing the wrong thing. You are an amazing person who has stayed so strong in the face of so many obstacles. Internet hugs and kitten snuggles if you are interested..

Ally S
8 years ago

HOLY SHIT GUYS LOOK AT HIS RESPONSE:

[greetings] [male name],

I just got into town. I am pretty sure you have heard my voice messages.

I think you misunderstand and underestimate my unconditional love for the five of you. All of you are my children first and anything else second.

I thank you for sharing this matter with me and it shows that you trust me. I do not make fun of people because of the choices they make. This is not because I am exceptional. Our beloved prophet was sent as a mercy to the entire mankind. So I derive my acceptance of your preference from his teachings.

I was actually afraid you were mad at me. I am relieved that it was not the case. My only sadness is that you had to travel 400+ away to tell me this.

Now I want to share a joke: USA has democrats, republicans and independent politicians and every one of them can lead the country if need be. SImilarly, it really does not matter what someone’s orientation is, rather, whether they are productive members of the society.

You are return home whenever you want. Please let me know if you need any money for travel.

I am heading off to the gym soon but I will call you before I go.

I am in shock.

kittehserf
8 years ago

Extraordinary response, but is this the “be nice because they’ve escaped and need to be lured back” phase? That’s how I read it.

pecunium
8 years ago

I should like to think he means it. It’s also true that he can mean it, and still have problems coping. If he means it, it’s also possible he wishes it weren’t so, and his previous actions were to try and keep a finger in the dike; hoping he was misreading the signs.

It’s nice to see he isn’t going off the rails.

pecunium
8 years ago

In completely different different news; I will be attending Boskone (in Boston) next weekend (i.e. the weekend of the 14th).

Ally S
8 years ago

Yeah, I’m trying to exercise caution. You two bring up good points. Nevertheless, this message made me so happy that I immediately broke into tears. I’m still all teary-eyed.

kittehserf
8 years ago

Be happy, Ally, and be happy a long way away from him. I’m probably worrying for no reason, because you know his ways all too well, but please don’t, don’t trust him!

leatapp
leatapp
8 years ago

Yay for Ally S and Katz!

Stay safe, Ally. *hugs*

pecunium
8 years ago

Ally: I’d also say that I think staying in touch, even if a bit distantly, is important. Breaks are hard enough, ruptures are terrible.

And restructuring after a rupture can be really hard.

So I’d make sure to take advantage of the tone to maintain contact with your sisters and your brother, as well as keeping some line of communication open; if he starts to be an ass, you can restrict that.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

I’m, perhaps unsurprisingly, with Pecunium on this one.

And would you have time on your way to Boston to stop in here Pecunium? I can take you hiking or something. (That’d be a riot, me scrambling the red trail in those boots?)

pecunium
8 years ago

And, as it’s topical: Abi, at Making Light, has decided this is the time to host a new “Dysfunctional Families” thread. Those are often a very good place to vent/get some feedback about problems one is having with family(present problems and issues from past problems).

Dysfunctional Families: Toolbox

pecunium
8 years ago

No. We have a full car, and not only a guest of honor to deliver, but a wedding to attend after we get there, but before the con.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

So you’re even busier than usual, good luck with the schedule crunch!

Marie
Marie
8 years ago

@Ally

I’m just repeating what everyone else said, glad his message was good-ish, but being cautious makes sense. Glad it made you happy though. Jedi hugs from me (for the xteenth time) if you want them.)

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