Some married men like to jokingly refer to their wife as “the boss,” generally in a patronizing manner that suggests she’s nominally in charge of the boring everyday stuff in the household that he doesn’t really care about anyway.
But our old nemesis Vox Day isn’t having any of it. To refer to your wife as the boss, even as a joke, is to threaten to loose the forces of anarchy and chaos and feminism upon your family. Also, women are dogs. On his Alpha Game blog, he writes,
If you let a dog think he’s the boss, he will cease to defer to you and begin objecting, violently, when you interfere with what he now believes are his prerogatives. Women are no different.
That’s right. Give in an inch to your wife, and the next thing you know she’ll be sitting on the furniture and insisting on eating “people food” at the table.
It’s a tad ironic that Vox here has decided to degrade women by comparing them to dogs, when his whole “alpha” schtick is based on misguided notions about the behavior of “alpha dogs” and wolves.
It’s one thing to turn over your social calendar to your wife due to a lack of interest in the various social obligations of the family. But checking in to see if there is scheduling conflict, or simply being courteous enough to see if your wife minds if you go to the football game does not make you an employee or a child. Therefore, it does not make her the boss. And what might have been an ironic jest in the days of Mad Men is often taken quite literally now.
Marriage: an endless power struggle in which the wife must always lose.
What a lovely vision of the world!
I should also add that you should never ever, even jokingly, refer to Bruce Springsteen as “the boss” either, because if you do he’s going to be hounding you to hand in your TPS reports and forcing you to work on Saturdays. You don’t want that.
EDITED TO ADD: In the comments on Alpha Game, cailcorishev expands a bit on the whole “women-as-dogs” thing in what he evidently thinks is a humorous way:
Since you mentioned dogs: virtually everything about disciplining a dog and being the pack leader applies to leading a woman (or children). I’m convinced that, if you took a woman on a 45-minute walk every day, as Cesar Millan recommended for dogs, it would eliminate a lot of her problems. Just make sure you lead her, having her take your arm and follow you where you want to go — or use a leash if she’s into that kind of thing.
I can only hope his wife — if there is an unfortunate woman holding this position — pees on the rug and chews up all his important paperwork.
Argenti:
That’s…surprising.
I’m more of a dog person anyway.
My parents used reins on us as children. I vividly remember trotting along pretending to be a pony while wearing reins, at the age of about 3 – mine even had bells on them. 🙂
So is this why, despite not having a man ordering me about at home, I have managed not to pee on the carpet or chew the furniture? Because I was well trained as a
puppychild?Actually, Plato also made a dog-woman comparison. Although his was much more benign. In “the Republic” he writes that the difference between a bitch and a male dog is pretty much the same as the difference between a woman and a man – the bitch/woman is usually a bit smaller and lighter in build, and she is the one who bears children. Still, when it comes to dogs, nobody questions that both sexes can be used as hunting dogs, guard dogs and so on. So is there any reason to think that women wouldn’t be able to do all the jobs that men do if they were given the chance?
I dearly hoped thart this Vox Day fellow was a troll, or a parody of MRA members, but I’ve read some of his articles on his blog and he seems to be the real deal. That’s actually depressing.
When someone literally compares women to a dogs, how can you even make fun of him? Satiric humor is based on hyperboles and exaggerations, but Vox is so misognistic he’s his own caricature. By quoting him, you’re already mocking him, at least in the eyes of whoever has a tiny scap of human decency left in their brains.
PS: I’m a long time lurker, first time poster. I usually just laugh and shake my head at this extreme batshit craziness of MRAs and assorted misoginists that you expose, but this is the first time I suspected you happened to stumble on a parody troll.
Sadly, this doesn’t seem to be the case.
Edit: “misogynistic” and and “misogynists”. Apparenlt the sheer craziness of Vox have irritatated me so much that I forgot how to spell.
pecunium, I did own my words and I did apologize for them, more than once. How many times do I need to? I AM truly sorry for offending anyone and if you accuse me of anything otherwise is just your own personal accusation. But only I know the truth. You do not. You are not accepting it either way, as you just said…and that’s fine. But it’s really none of my business whether or not you believe me or accept my apology. That’s your business. I did what I needed to do and that’s all I can do. Beyond that is out of my hands and none of my business.
D’oh! “All women are bitches” just took on a meaning that the MRAsshats didn’t intend…
‘So is there any reason to think that women wouldn’t be able to do all the jobs that men do if they were given the chance?’
No need to speculate, just look at history. Especially what happened during both world wars. Only misogynists speculate about something that already happened.
@ashley Many people see apologizing for offense as a nonapology. You’re not apologogizing for what you did, you’re apologizing for how they feel. This is just like how adding a but to the end of an apology makes you look like an ass.
I swear am trying to avoid condescension. I have certainly said dumb or insensitive stuff. Then I took my lumps and stopped digging. It might be best to let this drop and avoid salting the wound.
*throws up hands in the air, because I really do care*
Oh Jesus, more crazy talk. Mac, please don’t do that.
Why am I not surprised? Vox Day’s always been a little screwy, from what I’ve seen.
And, I hate to but in, but can y’all please drop the Ashley issue(not referring to everybody, just those who keep bringing her up)? Dave’s already dealt with her, and she *did* apologize(even if she could have worded some things much better, that I’ll agree on). So, no need to keep ragging on her, because it’s only digging that hole ever deeper; I’d like to sincerely suggest getting back more on topic.
@Mac: Dunno about “crazy”, TBH. I personally think he’s just an arsehole with a major attitude problem.
@Diana:
Artic Ape — the larger ones, like Maine coon sized, my Wayward Victorian Girl costume choker is ~11″ — add in the stretch of kitty collars and they fit (I could go puppy sized, but the nylon cat ones are far more comfy seeing how I’m not covered in fur!)
Hellkell — yeah, that’s my only response at this point. Acceptable things to call batshit crazy — yourself. Acceptable things to call crazy — yourself and people okay with you calling them crazy (e.g. you, pecunium, some others here calling me crazy wouldn’t bug me). Unacceptable things to call any variation on crazy — assholes, assholery, bigots, bigotry, etc. (not lecturing you, I hope that’s obvious!)
Totally obvious, Argenti.
I’ve really been making a concerted effort to eradicate my own usage of “crazy” and related terms in meatspace. Being here was a real eye opener, because that kind of language towards mental illness is EVERYDAMNWHERE, and I’m sure the vast majority of people use it without really thinking about what it could mean to someone.
Argenti – Cool, if it serves your tastes. Although they do make some really comfy padded dog collars…
(I have to go sleep and then family business. I hate my time zone.)
Ashley ,
I have a feeling you wont like what Im about to say but maybe you need to hear it because Im neutral .
What you did was dismissed the people you offended .(some in the community here) and called on David to tell you not to mention such things if it upset some in the community . Then and only then apologized . Your mistake was not taking the individuals feelings into account until you were told to by the boss. That is not sincere . You yielded to authority sure . But dismissed your “equal’s ” concerns .
Its really hard to believe an apology when you were not sorry until you are corrected by a higher up.
You won’t make many friends that way . If you are indifferent to individuals you have even inadvertently offended.
lana, well said.
Ashley claimed to have done this once, a year ago, which is bullshit. It was more often and much more recent. It also makes saying “only I know the truth” risible, even if she’s talking about her feelings.
All that doubling down and going into attack mode to the commenters in general, then suddenly getting apologetic after David called her out – yeah, that’s so sincere.
I’m with Pecunium, this notpology doesn’t mean a thing. She’s apologised before and gone right back to doing it.
@MacSloane87, hi, have a Welcome Package! http://artistryforfeminismandkittens.wordpress.com/the-official-man-boobz-complimentary-welcome-package/
When I was first called out, I wasn’t thinking about the feelings of others, because it wasn’t presented to me in the best way. All I was hearing was a demand that to me, was rather domineering “Just stop” I’m not going to respond well to that. It took me a minute to sit back and think, after some other people’s comments who worded their perspective in a way that actually inspired me to think about what I had said rather than just trying to tell me to stfu.
Ashley ,
Are you saying the correction was too harsh?
@MacSloane87
Hi and welcome. And friendly reminder not to be calling mra’s stuff batshit craziness, they’re hateful, not crazy.
@ashley
I can get needing to take a moment and think about the shit you’ve said (I’ve had to do that before too, before it sunk in) but nobody owes you a polite response when you’re being bigoted. People shouldn’t have to phrase shit nicely to get you to stop being ableist.
(idk if that made sense to anyone else? Am I making sense?)
Well, there’s your problem.
Then, after I apologized, people feel the need to tell me it’s not good enough for them…as if they expect me to do more in trying to prove myself…I don’t know what else those folks want from me.
*head desk*
Ashley look what was said to me.
Ashley. I know you have no idea what people are annoyed about or why, but if you want any chance of remaining in the good graces of this commentariat, you will shut up about this. Now. Permanently.