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Young women having sex with guys they’re attracted to: A dire threat to civilization itself

Aside from Men Going Their Own Way and others who have sworn off women altogether, the almost-exclusively straight dudes of the manosphere devote an incredible amount of time trying to figure out how to get into the pants of young, hot, “fertile” women in their teens and twenties, and complain bitterly about the terrible injustice they suffer when these women refuse to have sex with them.

And then they turn around and attack women in their thirties for actually wanting to have sex with them – because these women have committed the dastardly crime of having sex with other men when they were younger. In the parlance of our times the manosphere, this is known as “riding the cock carousel.”

Today we have a lovely example of this latter phenomenon, from prolific manosphere commenter “Deti,” who attacked  former “carousel riders” in this rant he left in the comments on The Woman and the Dragon. (There may be lots of equally horrible things in the comments there as well; I haven’t looked. I found Deti’s comment because it was highlighted as a piece of great wisdom on The Private Man, yet another terrible manosphere blog.)

Here’s Deti:

In light of the incalculable damage feminism has done, in light of our society being on the brink of irretrievable and total collapse, I think women need to ask themselves, individually and collectively:

Was it worth it?

Was the cock carousel worth it?

The sex, the occasional orgasms, the attention and validation, the rush, the feelings?

The drunk dancing on tables, the hangovers, the feelings of immediate regret, the knowledge that you’ve just been used as a semen receptacle (for the 14th time)?

We’re off to a rollicking start here. Apparently, table dancing and casual sex (with dudes who aren’t Deti) have brought civilization to its very knees.

Was it worth it?

The ridiculous thoughts to yourself that, no, THIS TIME it will be different. This time I won’t get f**ked over. This time I will get what I want. This time I will save it for a good man, a kind man, the right man — who never shows up.

Did you get what you wanted?

If what they wanted was casual sex with a guy they found attractive, then, uh, yes? (Whether it was good sex is another matter entirely.)

If they were looking for a longer-term relationship, and the guy did indeed turn out to be a jerk or otherwise incompatible, then, uh, no? I’m not quite sure why Deti assumes it’s the woman’s fault if the guy turns out to be Mr. Wrong. (Actually, scratch that: I do know why.)

Did the hot man, the rich man, the sexy man, the alpha, marry you? Did he give you the brass ring of commitment? Did he pledge his life to you? DId he promise to stay around for longer than just until he’s tired of f**king you and putting up with your bulls**t?

Or did you fall (again) for the player’s smooth line that “hey, I think it’s great that a woman like you can have sex with who she wants. That’s only fair. It’s a man’s world, and you should get to partake in it just like we do.”

Yep, that’s right, any man who thinks it’s ok for women to have casual sex with guys they find attractive is clearly an evil, manipulative player. And any woman who believes this is a sucker.

You get out of his bed. You’ve got to get to work this morning. You try to find your panties and put your miniskirt and 4 inch heels on to walk to your car and get an Egg McMuffin and some coffee.

Hey, come on man. Don’t bring the Egg McMuffin into this. Egg McMuffins are delicious.

You add another notch to your lipstick case (one you’ll have to come clean about someday to your therapist or drug counselor or ER doctor, if not your husband). He says “I had a great time. Let’s do it again. There’s some coffee downstairs. Help yourself. I’ve got a lot of things to do today so I need to get going. Sorry I can’t have you stay longer.” You reply weakly: “It’s OK. Call me, OK?” “Sure. You bet I will.”

Desi, worst slashfic writer ever.

LIttle do you know that he just infected you with genital herpes. You’ll find out in a week or so after the incubation period is up and you have festering blisters all over your pubic area. The pain is so excruciating you have to take the day off work, get some treatment at the ER, and stay in bed. You can’t wear panties because the weight of the fabric on the sores is too painful. You can’t walk because the skin on skin friction hurts. Oh well. I’m sure your future husband will understand.

I think we’ve just discovered a new kink: men turned on by the idea of women suffering herpes outbreaks so painful that they have to remove their panties.

In any case, herpes happens. Big deal. It’s a medical condition, not the act of an angry god. Nor is it spread primarily by sleazy players who don’t call women back. According to the CDC, roughly one in six Americans between the ages of 14 and 49 have genital herpes. And, as the CDC notes:

Most individuals infected with HSV-1 or HSV-2 experience either no symptoms or have very mild symptoms that go unnoticed or are mistaken for another skin condition.  Because of this, most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection.

Back to Detiland:

Tell me: does it occur to you that you did it again? Does it occur to you that you’ve f**ked up yet again? Are you getting it yet that the guy who blasted another load on your chest or in your hair last night has no intention of returning the texts you send him, unless it involves an encore performance?

I’m guessing that most women probably aren’t that interested in having any sort of ongoing relationship with a dude who “blasted a load” in their hair on the first date.

Does it dawn on you that maybe what you’re doing isn’t working and maybe you need to try something else? Does it dawn on you that the only things you really got out of last night were a couple of bottles of beer and bragging rights?

And sex, which may have been good or bad. Which is pretty much what the guy got.

It’s 6:45 am on a Sunday morning. You stumble through yet another Walk of Shame across the quad back to your apartment, with your hair and clothes reeking of Aqua Net and stale cigarettes and Old Style and semen.

Like I said: Worst slashfic writer ever.

You pray to God above that you don’t see any of your friends. He smiles on you and today, you are spared the agony of your good friends observing you in all your disheveled, deflowered ignominy. But you see mirror images. You pass by other girls in miniskirts and heels, some of whom lost their bras last night and couldn’t find them. You see other men on their way home, some of whom are hungover, some of whom have little smiles on their faces. You exchange knowing glances with both the men and the women, some of whom you kind of know, others you don’t — but the looks are the same.

“I know what you did last night”.

“I know WHO you did last night.”

Um, no, I’m thinking that most of those who see women walking across the quad on a Sunday don’t actually know who they had sex with, if anyone.

“That sex sucked. But he was hot.”

So again, if a man is crap in bed, women are to blame for not guessing this beforehand?

“I’m never doing this again.”

So as you get home, exhale a breath, disrobe and try to wash the stench from the oddly arousing yet horribly convicting things you did and you allowed another human being to do to you, on you and in you, do you ask:

Is this worth it?

I have a question of my own here: WTF is a “horribly convicting thing?”

Do you have anything more to show for your life than N>10, an STD, recurrent UTIs and probably an abortion in there somewhere?

If you assume that women are defined entirely by the bad casual sex they’ve had, then I guess the answer is “not much.” If you assume that women are actual human beings, like men, free to live the sexual life they want but not defined entirely by it, then I’m guessing the answer is yes.

Manosphere dudes complain (bitterly) when their critics describe them as dudes bitter because they can’t get sex. It’s hard not to describe them as such when they talk about this shit endlessly, and bitterly, on their blogs.

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Linds
9 years ago

You know, what little casual sex I’ve ever had has been nothing like this.

I know hook-up culture is ubiquitous in some places and I, as a queer, anti-social nerd whose one night stands usually involved an anime convention and very little alcohol, may just not have the correct perspective on the sort of people who go out, get drunk and hook-up, but it really seems like they’re just basing their ideas about 20-somethings’ sex lives from Hollywood movies about college kids, and maybe some Girls Gone Wild tapes.

Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
9 years ago

I’ve…never done any of those things. But not to worry – I’m sure Desi has some great reasons to hate me, too. I am a woman, after all.

Effie
Effie
9 years ago

Has Deti never heard of safer sex practices? I’m 34, have managed to have (usually pretty awesome) sex for almost half my life now, and have never had an STD or an abortion. His slashfic divine punishment fantasy is so far out of reality it may as well be a Gor novel.

Historophilia
Historophilia
9 years ago

Ok I’m a died in the wool Feminist, I’ve been lurking on here a while now and just started commenting but I still struggle to understand…

Why do these people hate women so much? Why do they hate ME so much?

Like why? What is the point? What does it bring to them? How does it make their lives better?

The only thing that I can think of in this particular case is jealousy.

But seriously why?

Now I’m depressed. All these MRA people depress me.

Someone please cheer me up.

Fembot
Fembot
9 years ago

You add another notch to your lipstick case (one you’ll have to come clean about someday to your therapist or drug counselor or ER doctor, if not your husband).

Men who are obsessed with a woman’s notch count are almost always jealous and controlling douchebags who make terrible husbands. My husband has never for asked for mine, because he isn’t an insecure dick, and he knows I had a life and other relationships before we got together, and that those experiences in no way diminished my value as a human being and a wife. If you want to marry a virgin, that is fine, but you better damn well be a virgin, too. PUAs like Roosh and Roissy sleep with literally hundreds if not thousands of women, but then think they deserve a virgin when it’s time to settle down. Fucking hypocrites.

Fembot
Fembot
9 years ago

MRAs are seriously jealous of women.

1. They want sex on demand like women get (they believe)

2. They want a partner to care for them and support them wholly (like a husband they think).

3. They want to get loads of attention and free stuff just for being (cuz this happens to women all the time they believe).

So basically MRAs want to be super hot chicks who get constant attention, offers for free stuff, and sex whenever they want it.

Fembot
Fembot
9 years ago

Here are some wet kitties to cheer you up

Amused
9 years ago

Speaking only for myself, in most cases it was TOTALLY worth it.

Myoo
Myoo
9 years ago

Ok, I’m getting a serious case of Deja Vu. This bit in particular:

The drunk dancing on tables, the hangovers, the feelings of immediate regret, the knowledge that you’ve just been used as a semen receptacle (for the 14th time)?

I feel like I’ve read that before, and I don’t just mean the ideas expressed, I mean pretty much the same wording in pretty much this order. Is it just me?

Joanna
9 years ago

Huh… last time I had really bad casual sex with a guy we just laughed about how bad it was.

snortwhatwasthat
9 years ago

These guys do know that if women stopped having sex then they aren’t going to be getting laid still. Or is that what they want. It’s like they’re basically saying if I can’t have sex, then no one can have sex.

Historophilia
Historophilia
9 years ago

@fembot

Yay kittehs! My personal favorite was the one taking a casual swim across the river, though I was convinced he was hunting ducks at first. That would have been cool.

Constance
Constance
9 years ago

Now I’m depressed. All these MRA people depress me.

Someone please cheer me up.

———————————————–

Betty White interview clips always makes me feel better. Also I recommend baby wombats and pgymy anteaters dressed in tutus.

Effie
Effie
9 years ago

I confess, I cheered when the cat knocked the toddler into the pool. I hate parents who let their toddlers terrorize cats because “it’s just so cute.” No, that kind of shit results in my cat, whom I rescued at one year old from such a house. It took her a month to come out from behind the TV when I got her home because she was so traumatized by her first year of life in that horrible house with that damn three year old and the stupid, evil parent.

Fembot
Fembot
9 years ago

I love the kitteh dunking his head under the faucet. My cats will sit on the bathtub ledge and swish their tails in the water when I take a bath, but that’s the closest they like to get to the water. And Effie, I agree with you. My cats are super sweet and affectionate because no one has ever thrown them in a pool or pulled their tail. They get nothing but love 🙂

Constance
Constance
9 years ago

I’m with “Amused.” Sometimes it’s my memories of wild wanton uncommitted sex with handsome young strangers is what gets me through the day…

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
9 years ago

Cats enjoying water? That’s not true. That’s impossible!

*leaps into an abyss*

Hank
Hank
9 years ago

Hi Fembot – agree with you on this one, it reeks of envy. To me his piece reads, I wish I were an attractive young woman, I can’t ever be such and that’s a failing so I’ll create a list of reasons why it was never a good thing to be in the first place and now it’s not a failure anymore. Psychology akin to sour grapes.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
9 years ago

I think one of those cats was Jesus… seriously, it ran across the water…

speedlines
speedlines
9 years ago

Mr. Wrong was a terrible, terrible movie. It was supposed to be a comedy, but it would have worked much better as a horror film. I’m totally serious.

And that video would have been a lot more enjoyable without the toddler dragging the cat into the bathtub. Not funny.

*really bad mood today*

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
9 years ago

I think Deti is trying to be, like, literally the king of the Nice Guys(tm). I’ve never seen someone so intensely jealous that whole groups of other people were enjoying themselves without him. It’s straight up shame porn.

Freitag
Freitag
9 years ago

Wow. “Deti” has spent a lot of time obsessing thinking about this. The sheer length of the rant, the detail, the TMI, it’s just overwhelming. The hours he must have spent spraying spittle over his monitor while typing this screed. For what? Anger that women like sex? (Personally, I find that a plus. Just sayin’.) Dude, push away from the keyboard, take a walk if the weather’s nice, do something than obsess about women having sex.

I need some brain bleach.

MollyRen (@MollyRen)
9 years ago

I did, actually have a lot of casual sex both in college and afterwards. But dude, it was repeat business! It wasn’t this long cold awful walk of shame, it was having sex every two weeks with the same dude for almost two years! XD

Nathan Hevenstone
9 years ago

You know, this guy offends me.

I mean, how pathetically sad do you have to be to write that shit?

It doesn’t help that used to think like that to… which just makes me depressed to think about. He probably thinks he so clever, but in reality, he’s envious; although I’d argue he’s envious of the men those women he writes about are having sex with, because those men aren’t him. He thinks *he* should be the one getting all that, and because he isn’t, he’s bitter.

And I know this because it was the motivation behind my thinking. You have to learn that the problem isn’t the women who continually reject you. The problem is *you*. Learning that is hard, and it hurts; but it’s so fucking freeing when you do finally admit it. I was much happier when I admitted it, and now I see the world as it really is, and not as it’s seen through the eyes of an envious virgin.

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