Open Thread on the UK elections and anything else you want to talk about

 December 12, 2019
  · 135 Comments

OPEN THREAD on the big day in the UK.

Comment away. No trolls or Boris supporters please.

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  1. I am not coping well but I’ve got past the ‘I want to end it all’ stage of my initial reaction. I still don’t trust anyone to look after my dogs properly and my neice and nephew don’t need the trauma. It’s taking me some time to process. I’ll be okay, eventually. I might write a blog post about it when I’ve finally got my head sorted. I had a day in bed today to make up for all the lost sleep and anxiety of the last weeks.

    I’m concerned about how disabled people are going to be treat, since I and most of my friends are disabled or vulnerable people. I’ve heard of one suicide already caused by distress. Not someone I know, but the friend of someone I follow on Twitter. I’m worried there will be more deaths.

    I am very disappointed that people couldn’t see past the obvious propaganda and check things for themselves. I’m even more disappointed that people are gloating at the pain of others. I’ve had to unfriend someone over their attitude because they were just being horrible to people who were upset by the results.

    People are once again showing their worst aspects, and it’s all so… Disappointing.

    Reply

  3. @caketastydelish, this thread is clearly labelled “No trolls, no Boris supporters.” I know you know that, because that’s what you came to complain about in the first place. Since you’re definitely one of those things and very likely the other, you need to respect that rule and find another thread to fart around in.

    People are coming here for support with what they’re experiencing right now. That’s what this thread is for. It’s inappropriate of you to continue badgering folks here who are going through tough times.

    Reply

  7. @ Universal Kami:
    (googles “endogenic system”)

    He’s had some kind of mental illness they’ve never been able to firmly diagnose— (extremely) rapid-cycling bipolar seems to come the closest— and it’s worsened in the past five years. The current alters emerged around that time, as sort of very sophisticated autopilots that make sure he does self-care. Not sure if that counts as trauma-created or not. They’re non-human (animals), though two can speak. He had a different set, years ago, who were mostly human, but I didn’t see them come out as much, only when he was having a particularly bad day.

    Reply

  8. @cakewhatever

    These people are nice people who were supporting a few friends going through some troubles. Allow me to translate their words to you into words you are capable of understanding:

    Fuck off. All the way off this thread.
    Type elsewhere.
    Stop your obtuse, self absorbed yammering.

    Got it now?

    No answer is required, merely your absence from this thread.

    Reply

  9. @Specialfrog

    Thank you for actually taking the time to answer my question. Like I already said right off the bat, I am an American and I know next to nothing about British politics in general.

    You have provided evidence Boris Johnson (and thus presumably, his supporters) are the kind of people not welcome here. I just didn’t know anything about the guy until you linked me that article other than he was the British prime minister.

    @Hippodameia Nice try, but I have not made any comments myself that were misogynistic or racist homophobic or bigoted in any way. I just wanted to know who the guy was (other than the obvious that he’s the British prime minister) and why his supporters are banned posting here. Someone else was kind enough to actually answer that question rather than make blatant assumptions and insult me.

    Reply

  11. Troll, I suggest you learn to use google in the future. No-one here (or anywhere else) owes you an education, especially when you came in making bad-faith accusations in your first comment. Now fuck off before David bans your ass for trolling an open thread.

    Reply

  12. (Possible Trigger warning: Niceguy(TM) situation, maybe TMI on fetish romance)

    Wall-of-text ahead sorry

    Thank everyone again for all the support with my new creative work with my BDSM group. All the stuff with the UK elections and what’s going on in the world has me really scared for sexworkers. There are some in my group and I worry for them.

    I know people have a lot to deal with and I am so sorry for this wall of text and for imposing but something happened today that dampened my mood just a little when things were really nice all day because of how exhilarating last night was.   I have a guy “friend” or former friend now and I guess I should put friend in quotes because I he’s more the NiceGuy kind of jerk.   I still feel a little kind of bad saying that because he has some good qualities.  He’s been a client at my salon and I know he does volunteer work in our city and he is a good listener.  So I do still after all that happened appreciate him and over the past year we kind of got to be friends.  He lives near me but in the same apartment building but like a five minute walk. 

      I am totally not attracted to him physically at all but like I said recognized his good qualities and considered him a friend.  And I made that clear and he said he accepted it.   Since I have been more involved in my BDSM social group and it’s been a new and exciting time in my life he had been kind of supportive but he recently had been starting to get more like a complainer about me not being a good friend to him.  I at first felt bad but now I think he is crossed over into NiceGuy territory.   He asked if we could go get coffee today.  I had told him that I was really thinking a lot about my slave today and kind of wanted to let him know that it would be nice to see him I guess but that’s pretty much where my mind was today.

      Like all day today have been handling my bodyharness that I use on my slaveand I can hardly look at the straps and not think of how awesome his beautiful body looks in it with those straps framing his chest muscles.  I like having it by me and can’t stop thinking about it, about my slave’s body and his attentiveness and beautiful combination of sweetness and handsomeness.  That’s what masculinity should be.  And I have so much more confidence with my bullwhip and like I was saying in one of the other threads I realized that all the time nowadays I’m more aware of the open space in my surroundings and wherever I am always instinctually aware whether there’s enough open space and where people are at that second, etc. to know if I have enough room to do a crack safely. 

      And nowadays I kind of feel more of an almost instinct to crack it (if I’m somewhere where I can)  like just in conversation when I am really impassioned and making a point or talking about something that I want or don’t want or like or don’t like.  That’s how  much work and practice I put in to get that way.  And I think whip arts are really beautiful anyway aside from BDSM theater which I see as art anyway.   NiceGuy (I’ll call him that for explaining this) during the last two months or so when I was working on whip arts and learning cracks was actually (I thought) being a supportive friend and I thought he was honestly rooting for me and thought it was cool.  He even said, and I remember him saying this, that he was really impressed with my attention to safety and said he thought I was really trustworthy to know when to crack and not to crack to make sure I didn’t hit any people or fragile things around me.   

    So I thought he would understand that sure I would get coffee with him today but that my mind was on my slave.  And it wasn’t just that I am turned on by my slave and can’t wait to get him in harness again and on all fours at my feet but that this is really a creative performance art project for me too.  It’s a creative act.  And it can be both legitimately.  Like for example one thing I was talking about with my mentor was getting some chain weights like weightlifters use and have my slave wear them because we like seeing the aesthetic of an attractive male body straining to move weight (enough but not too much) because of the way his muscles look when he moves.   I thought that was sexy but artistic too and so I wanted to look at some of my slave’s photos and kind of plan out how I’d chain him and look at different designs in terms of what would go where.   That isn’t just frivolous to me but really deeply sexy but not just that but artistic too. 

    So I had some of my slave’s photos and a sketchbook and my journal and I was going to go to the coffee shop and plan some things out while I was waiting to hear from my mentor to see if we could set something up to arrange for me to play with my slave again tonight.   I was (naively, I know) thinking that NiceGuy would be OK with me working on that and talking about that since that’s what’s important to me now  and especially since *he* (NiceGuy) had asked to see *me*  

    I told him to meet me at the coffee shop that is near the salon where I work because I am really comfortable there.  The owner is a good friend of my boss, (my boss who is the owner of the salon where I work) and the coffee shop owner and all the people who work there are really understanding and supportive of me.   Like for example it’s part of my job to dress really edgy and creatively like I know I’ve expressed here before so at work I wear just a leotard and tights and heels and a cute top and the whole leotard-style cut bodysuit and tights with no skirt or pants is kind of my signature look.   I wear shorts or a skirt or (more rarely) jeans over that going to and from work and just take them off when I get there but I’m so comfortable in the coffee shop that I sometimes will take off my skirt or jeans there too.  Nobody has a problem with that because the owners and regulars understand me and it’s like I’m covered anyway and it’s still clothing and besides our city has a pretty liberal atmosphere.   I have a dance background and so I am comfortable like that and I just feel kind of sexier with my skirt or jeans off and just in leo and tights.     

    So even though my mind was on my slave I agreed to meet NiceGuy because I thought it would at least be good to have some company and I like to share energy when I’m being creative.   He has always said he likes creativity too so I thought that was OK.  So we got there at the same time and went to sit in my favorite area of the coffee shop which is this back part that is like one step up and that they use for a little stage when they have live music.  But there were just two comfy chairs there and the rest of it was open.   The wide open space where we were sitting and the streetlights outside and the place not being busy with hardly anyone there put me in a good mood.  I had been a little stressed out like I said with all the political stuff lately because getting involved in the fetish community I know some sexworkers and I am more worried now about their safety with all that going on.  But this nice atmosphere and excitement about my slave plus getting to do something creative put me in a good mood.  

    (Sorry I know this is too long already but I think I have to do another comment maybe for the rest)

    Reply

  13. [Sorry I know this is toooo long but here is the rest of what happened]

    So I go up to that back area with NiceGuy and before I sit down take off my jeans.  He knows me and seen me at work plenty of times because he’s been a client there so this should be no big deal but lately he has been a little pissy when I’m dressed that way.   I had a little issue with him before when I first got to be friends with him with him leering at me and I said something about it and he said I was over-reacting but he did stop I have to admit so I let it go.  I am a lot stronger now and would not handle it that way now but it set a bad precedent.    Then he makes a snarky little comment about why I have to do that (take off my jeans he meant) it was something like “you are just being cruel to me” and something about how I had rejected him when we first met. 

    I *almost* let it go even this time because I was looking at my phone at a text message from my mentor but nicely said we were friends and we had established that and that I’m only interested that way in my slave. Then he said something about how I looked really good especially standing up but at least if I was sitting down and he didn’t “have” to look at me and be frustrated.  That was creepy and offensive I was like “ewww” but he quickly changed the subject so I decided to let it go (shoudn’t have) and we talked for a while about stuff including his work and his volunteering for the food bank here and I was showing him about my designs for chaining my slave.  It’s not like it’s easy because sure it looks and sounds sexy but again it’s real chains so it has to be done safely and you have to think about that as well as the aesthetic.

    But when I would talk about my slave and how handsome I thought he was NiceGuy would keep trying to change the subject which kind of made mad because he should know how important this is to me right now.   Then he made another snarky comment about my bullwhip.  I had brought it with me because I had brought it to work with me earlier this week – not to crack it or use it really but just to carry as kind of an accessory to my outfit.  But because my time with my slave last night was so beautiful  and because I’m more comfortable with it, it makes me feel powerful and sexy but also kind of artsy to just carry it with me around now.  I’m just comfortable with it in my hand and even when I don’t have the space to crack it sometimes I find myself just raising it in my hand like I’m ready to do an overhand flick maybe just as a gesture when I’m talking.  

    So NiceGuy keeps just focusing on that and looking aggravated and not really listening to me but I was trying to be aware that he’s my friend and I want to hear about his stuff too.   At one point I get up to get a napkin from the counter area and I without thinking I just pick up my whip to carry it with me not for any other reason but just because it’s getting natural for me now.   Right as I’m standing up  my phone rings and it’s my mentor to tell me about plans for maybe getting together to play with my slave tonight or tomorrow.      I needed some privacy for a moment so I politely ask NiceGuy if he can please give me a minute or two and step away from the seating area we were in.  So he goes a little away and looks like he wants to listen and I say a little more firmly “Niceguy, like down there please.  Like over there…” pointing to completely out of that open raised seating area in the back and on the other side of the shop.  

    My mentor is telling me about how my slave enjoyed last night and is so excited and appreciative of me too and my heart is fluttering and I feel myself smiling excitedly.  Like I said before I am always conscious of how I stand and move because I see my body as my art and so because I was happy and excited I kind of went into like a bevel and held it while I was talking.  But I kind of get a creepy sense and then and NiceGuy really staring at me the whole time…like just staring at me leeringly, not at all of me but like leering directly at my lower body.    I was really aggravated this time and this time said very sharply and loudly to him “No staring!” and as I said it did a sidearm flick crack with my whip.    The only other person in there was actually the owner of the coffee shop who was cleaning up and looked up and laughed and kind of beamed at me. Niceguy was so startled and like fidgeted.   He has gone to a whip arts exhibition with me before so I know he’s seen that but he was startled to see *me* speak that way to him and not put up with his shit which I’m doing much less now with him and anyone. And it was funny to see him so thrown off.  Jerk.  I just glared at him and went back to talking to my mentor. 

    I got off the phone and would have thought he would have left but he was still there kind of pacing a little and thrown off.  He tried to mumble out some bullshit non-apology  apology but I just glared at him and raised my whip hand like I was threatening a crack.  Then he said some bullshit about how he had done so much for me and listened to me and I knew he liked me all that time and so why shouldn’t I give him a chance. 

    That really pissed me off.  That is total NiceGuy entitled bull shit.   I told him very sharply and firmly I am not interested in him that way and am only interested in my slave and that his disrespect for me was no longer acceptable. He got pissed off and left but I am not going to have anything to do with this guy as a so-called friend.  I am not at all concerned about him harrassing me as he is honestly more the fumbling type. It would have been nice to have some support with all the exciting changes in my life but why is it that some guys just can’t accept that I have a right to be attracted to who I’m attracted to and that my sexuality belongs to me.

    I know this has been two huge awful walls of text but people here have talked about NiceGuy  jerks and the community here is really great and I appreciate being able to gethis off my chest.
     
    I needed to do it to clear my head and chakras because I do get to go play with my slave for a little while shortly and need to have a clear head and heart to enjoy it. 

    Thank you if you have read this far and I appreciate you all.

    Reply

  14. I am going to go joyfully now to play with my beautiful pet at the sacred hour. I feel like a goddess when I do. Thanks to this wonderful community and wishes of comfort for all those in pain and safety and rights for all.

    Reply

  15. One of what things? What are you talking about? I honestly have no idea what you mean.

    Sorry, I was at a thing.

    Since you’re definitely one of those things

    Troll.

    and very likely the other

    Boris supporter.

    Really, though, go find literally any other thread.

    Reply

  16. @Moon Custafer

    I apologise, I should have explained what the term meant.

    I’m part of a system, too, so I can sort of understand what you are going through.

    Reply

  18. why aren’t his supporters allowed to comment? Seems a bit authoritarian and anti-free speech IMO.

    It’s only on open threads that trolls and other shitheels aren’t allowed (and yes, even “moderate” conservatives are shitheels, fight me).

    Also, even if David did implement a rule banning all conservative people from posting anywhere on his blog, that would neither be authoritarian nor anti-free speech because David is not the government. He’s a guy running a blog and he gets to make the rules on who comments on that blog. If you don’t like his rules, you can go post on the two million other places on the internet where you can spew unfiltered bullshit everywhere.

    Oh, and trolls aren’t allowed in the other threads because of some ideal of free speech. They’re allowed because we sometimes enjoy batting them around.

    Reply

  19. There have already been incidents of aggression and physical violence, e.g. directed against people being visibly muslim (in the street) or audibly talking-about-the-labour-party (in a burger place).

    I’m afraid, particularly in the light of all the things the torykipper* right-wing can do to make their ascension permanent – such as voter suppression measures that have already been proposed (taking a leaf straight out of the USAnian republican party’s book). One of my kids is visibly Other-looking, and neurodivergent such that they are less able to see racist aggression coming or avoid it, which makes me more scared.
    (* I don’t want to make that some kind of UKnian in-joke; it’s just a portmanteau of tory plus kipper (which is what we often call those in the far-right ultra-nationalist party UKIP (which morphed into the brexit party plc which is now in turn being absorbed into the current ultra-tories)). As so often happens, the right and far-right are agglutinating while the left are not)

    Propaganda has played/is playing a very significant part, not least in the way left-wing jewish voices have been resoundingly ignored and kept unpublicised when they speak up, while right-wing jewish voices have been amplified over and over again – until the vast majority of people (including a sibling of mine) unquestioningly repeat the line that the left is more racist than the right. When in reality there is bigotry everywhere, but it’s generally labour who have been actively dealing with it; labour who have been anti-fascist and anti-nazi and anti-racism all their lives, and the tories like Johnson who quite openly and repeatedly attack minorities. It’s almost unbelievable that a handful of multi-millionaires are successfully being painted as of-the-people and bold anti-elite tell-it-like-it-is ‘rebels’! But anyone who tries to point out or analyse propaganda is an ivory-tower out-of-touch liberal-elite of course…

    On the other hand, Argentina has just dumped Macri! So I need to remember that, and remember the right don’t always get it all their own way.

    Reply

  20. @opposablethumbs

    left-wing jewish voices have been resoundingly ignored and kept unpublicised when they speak up, while right-wing jewish voices have been amplified over and over again

    A similar thing happens in the United States, although not to the same degree. It’s how we ended up withBen Shapiro and Dennis Prager being so popular despite 80% of Jews voting Democratic in the last midterm.

    Reply

  21. “Again, conservatives are not banned on the entire site.”

    I was banned and I’m not a conservatuve. And as a Brit I can assure you that Boris won ‘cos he saif he’d get brexit done, nothing else.

    Reply

  22. @WWTH

    I am so sorry you’re going through that.

    @Hambeast

    I’m sorry you went through that also, and I am sorry for your loss and the complicated feelings it must generate. My best to you and Husbeast.

    Reply

  23. Hi all,

    I’m still trying to figure out the whole stupid situation with the creepy guy from the store. Someone apparently tried to pick up my prescriptions from there and I got a weird notification about it and I have no fucking idea what this guy is doing. I’ve been dealing with the police but this is taking so much out of me. OMG…

    @WWTH: I’m so sorry you’re going through that, I’ve been there, it’s beyond awful.

    @Stacey: I’m sorry that happened to you and I’m hoping you’re having a much better time now.

    Reply

  25. @Yutolia

    Thank you yes I did have a beautiful time with my slave later that night and today was a joy. Creepy NiceGuy was a jerk and gross but went away when I said and so I didn’t feel unsafe or anything like that. I just want you to be ok. That must have been stressful about the prescriptions so please keep letting us know how it is going. I know it must be taking a lot out of you but I admire your strength and offer my supporting thoughts.

    Reply

  27. Granted, J Devalle up there may not be wrong, but not necessarily for the right reasons.

    In one other blog I follow, the blogger (an ex-pat Brit living in Australia) was pointing out various reasons why ‘dithering’ voters would have gone for Boris, and a lot of it boils down to ‘this will at least get it over with’. People don’t know how much pain Brexit will cause (because a lot people treat politics as a spectator sport), but they do know how much pain the argument has caused, and the easiest way to end the argument was to just go through with it. Add in the sunk cost fallacy, the lack of unified opposition, and handing the Tories a Heckler’s Veto because they’ll probably still try to wreck everything if not given the chance to do Brexit, and you have the current situation.

    https://camestrosfelapton.wordpress.com/2019/12/15/chaos-fascism-and-the-uk/

    Reply

  28. My brother was ranting about this yesterday (which I kind of blocked out, as I was studying for an exam, but at least that’s over). I was less vocal, but also unhappy.

    @wwth – I also wanted to offer some kind of solidarity. (Below I wrote about what happened with my own mother, who is doing better now, but if this is stressful you don’t have to look at it.)

    Four years ago, my mother had a depressive episode combined with chronic insomnia. It didn’t include paranoia or hallucinations, but obsessive thoughts and nightmares (when she did sleep), strong feelings of guilt, etc. When she went to emergency and got admitted to the local mental hospital, they had her under an order not to leave as they thought she was suicidal (she wasn’t, not actively, but she thought she was going to die. And probably sleeping that little was putting her health in danger.) She stayed there about a month before going home. She’s still taking one of the anti-depressant medications (at first she had 2 or 3).

    That was a tough year as a whole, although I was working full time by then and my dad was there to take on more of the responsibilities.

    One thing that helped me was a community service, Friends for Mental Health, which had free counseling for a year. (Frequency of appointments were, I think, according to needs – mine were twice a month.) Probably you’re concentrating more on her right now, but if there’s a local service like that it might help deal with the stress. They took me on even though I wasn’t a spouse or primary caregiver.

    Reply

  33. Jenora Feuer, the blogger you quote is wrong to attribute brexit to the ‘racist English’. Wales voted leave, and nowhere in the UK has a racist party ever got much of following, and god knows they’ve tried. Racism, and Islamaphobia is a problem in Europe, where in several country’s extremists who are worse than Trump (and they really are) are in government. Europe is taking the same path it took in the 30’s. let’s hope it doesn’t end the same way.

    Reply

  34. One of the teachers I work with was explaining English’s singular “they” to a class of Japanese 8th graders today, and I kind of stepped in and took it over because it looked like he was about to say “they” is for bi (?!?) and trans people. (He meant well, at least.) And so I explained to them how it’s a matter of gender identity.

    Then I forgot to apologize for hijacking the lesson, but I’m also not really sorry?

    Reply

  35. Universal Kami,
    Sorry for the delay. I’m not a big commenter. It is totally unclear how he ended up drowning. He may have committed suicide, it may have been an accident, perhaps the voices he was hearing lead to it, or maybe he was swept away while sleeping near the riverbank (there was massive rainfall and flooding at the time). The medical examiner saw no evidence of foul play. I’m not sure if it is a gift not to know what his final moments were like. Thanks for asking.

    Reply
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