Fixed that for you
So the alt-right now has a semi-official logo, introduced to the world by Richard Spencer, the guy who came up with the term in the first place, at a weird press-conference/debutante ball for the Nazi-based movement in Washington DC on Friday.
Here it is:
Spencer, who designed the logo himself, “said it had a young, futuristic look, in contrast to the flags and eagles that adorn the logos of the past,” according to Mother Jones.
But one aspect of the logo unintentionally recalls a rather memorable bit of white supremacist branding from years past — the infamous KKK hood. So I’ve taken the liberty of photoshopping-up what I think is a far more honest logo, which you can see at the top of the post.
It’s hard to overstate just how weird the press conference seems to have been. Its location was secret, so reporters had to go to another location first to learn where it really was — a technique popularized by raves in the late 80s and 90s.
“Reporters covering the event were instructed to go to the entrance of the Old Ebbitt Grill, near the White House,” Mother Jones notes.
There, they would encounter a man in a charcoal suit and brown tie who would reveal the new location of the conference.
During the press conference itself, Spencer proudly declared that the alt-right was free of “cucks,” and waxed poetic about what the world might be like if people like him ran it.
“If the alt-right were in power, we would all have arrived here via magnetic levitation trains,” he told the crowd, according to Mother Jones.
We would have passed by great forests and beautiful images of blond women in a wheat field with their hands, running them through the wheat.
Keep dreaming, dude.
But feel free to use my improved logo!
I couldn’t invent something like this if I tried. Reality really is more fucked up than fiction.
It makes me think of some sort of bad origami creation.
That’s a webpage background .gif from the early ’90s, iirc.
“If the alt-right were in power, we would all have arrived here via magnetic levitation trains,” he told the crowd, according to Mother Jones.
I thought these guys were against high-speed rail, and public transportation in general.
The silver lining of Trump’s candidacy is that it has flushed these nazi cockroaches out of the woodwork and into the light of day. I would much rather have them where I can see them and make note of them for future reference.
I still don’t understand how so many people can take the alt right seriously.
As opposed to blonde women without their hands?
What, are we going to go back to a system where wheat thieves have their hands cut off?
It’s getting interesting though. They’re creating an official structure with which to support Trump. Eventually he’ll have to acknowledge them, and either accept them or reject them. Gonna be difficult to tip-toe down that line.
@David Futrelle
Yeah, your fix makes the message a lot clearer.
In other news, the second paragraph should begin “Here it is.”
Confirmed: Spencer is the Origami Killer.
Holy shit, what a god-awful logo. Credit where credit’s due though, the solid white blocks do appropriately reflect the all-white bloc that is the alt-right.
And all the beautiful women of other colorings? Well, they’d have gassed them, so no more redheads or brunettes. And so much for their white-wing “diversity”.
(Also, gotta love that it’s only “images”, not actual women. Seems to be their vision of life in general: Pictures, not people!)
Ah, awesome. I love it when they put up their flags and banners. Makes identifying the assholes way easier. I wonder if they’re gonna all wear brown shirts at their rallies?
As for the hover-trains and wheat-maidens; ain’t it telling that in their fantasy, women are pretty scenery to look at while the men are rushing off to do Important Things? “Just stand out in that field, honey, the train’s coming in a few minutes. No, it doesn’t make any sense, but the boys like it, so be a dear, would you? You know how they get when they don’t see you when they come by on the 3:15 Express, and no one wants that.”
How does that graphic communicate “alt right” in any way whatsoever?
Also, it seems as though these guys aren’t familiar with the pink triangle that Nazi Germany forced gay men to wear.
Inspired by David Futrelle, I fixed the wording of a couple of quotes from Richard Spencer, a rising young fuehrer/debutante:
These guys are sooo in love with their own thoughts, not to mention themselves!
To paraphrase Dorothy Parker, the affair between Richard Spencer and Richard Spencer will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all fascism.
You underestimate Trump’s ability to create his own reality. Any other candidate would eventually have to reckon with this branch of support, but Trump can just keep issuing dog-whistles and human-whistles and act like he’s the injured party when HRC calls that out. He has no shame and no cognitive dissonance.
This reminds me of the 1960s Looney Tunes logo:
Not their best work. Warner Brothers, that is.
I’m so glad the blondes are allowed to keep their hands. Of course, Spencer’s construction here doesn’t tell us whether or not the women’s hands are still attached to their arms.
They’re there in a wheat field with their hands, though. That much is certain.
Right? It’s like they fixated on a Massengill douche ad from the 1970s, and that’s what their whole vision of what “feminine beauty” translates to.
(Douche just so figures, too.)
@Policy of Madness
You make a good point. But I don’t know if he can fool everyone a thousand times more though. At any rate, the alt-right is putting itself in deep shit already. See this :
In related news, I took my canoe and went to the swamps for a bit.
The fault lines are already appearing, folks. Actually, nothing new. It’s a pattern of the far-right, to be honest : they always, always, always end up eating each other in petty power struggles. But this current incarnation ? HOLY SHIT. They’re going faster than anything I’ve ever seen.
Anglin described himself as “the academic authority” on the alt-right, on the grounds that his site is the most visited. Thing is, he’s also one of the most unforgiving among them. He keeps alienating his own allies, and it seems he’s going turbo right now.
He calls the conference and logo brilliant. Next day, same tabloid wanksite, another author calls it low-energy. They’ve got their own “Jewish problem” – that is, they can’t agree on what to do about Jewish people. They all project their own views on Trump, and since he’s basically stopped being a human being to become a mirror for the shittiest people in the world, it’s working great so far. It’s not gonna work so well when he loses.
There’s really no future for Spencer’s alt-right and that logo. No matter how tightly you pack up that ball of sand, it’s still gonna scatter all around again when you throw it against the wall. After the election, it’s gonna be back to business as usual, just a bunch of idiots wandering around 4chan posting dumb memes.
The obsession with blond girls and wheat seems to be kind of a thing with them.
My grandfather was eight years old when the Nazis invaded Greece. They killed two of his brothers and broke his arms when he was nine. He has a very good idea of what it looks like when the alt-right takes control of everything.
In the end, alt-right sympathizers in Greece were shot along with looters and rapists.
A charcoal suit and brown tie?
Well, they obviously won’t be a threat to fashion.
Arriving via monorail, he says? Everyone knows that only the most trustworthy people try to sell those.
I found a picture of the residents of the perfect alt right village that all the levitating Galt trains will pass through.
And ask the man in the charcoal suit and brown tie where the pet shop is, right?
So, I’m a little confused about how the second part fits in. Is that supposed to be what you’d see from the magnetic levitation trains? Because I understood that you wouldn’t be able to see anything at all from them: they’d have no windows. (Something I found rather disappointing about them: what I like about trains is being able to take in the view!)
(Edit: wait, no, I’m thinking of something else: those Tesla trains in a tube. My bad!
Actually, I’m not sure, maybe that is the same thing? I’m confused now.)
Or are these tasteful prints lining the entry path/corridor to the venue? In which case, ok, but I don’t see why you need to be in power to have those at your conference; or indeed why other not-Alt-Right groups can’t similarly put up their own idea of nice pictures on the way into their conferences (hopefully ones that don’t sound just a bit racist).
Ever since Ayn Rand, they won’t stop talking about trains.
@Fishy Goat
I think they get taken seriously because they’re largely a group of cis het white men. I think a lot of privilege is operating.
Look at all the shit black lives matters gets… and they are ” the good guys.” * A football player can’t even sit for the National Anthem without being demonized.
But let a hateful white bigot talk awful shit and it’s like no big deal to the media.
Bleh.
*(Sorry for the moral shorthand).
I dunno, a magnetic hovertrain in every garage sounds seditiously close to infrastructure spending, and we all know how the Owners feel about *that*.
I guess the implication is that if we didn’t have to spend so much money on “those people” we’d all be living in Galt’s Gulch … But there’s always another war, or more tax cuts for the rich.
Also! Ladies! Your fondest grain-fondling dreams will be realized! It’ll totally be like that recurring motif in Ridley Scott’s Gladiator! How can you possibly wait?
@Falconer
I’m more of a run-through-green-meadows girl, but I am intrigued by your message and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Let your simple fall behind you as you spontaneously burst into an award-winning Broadway number!
*wimple
The alt-right has a logo. The best logo. Tremendous logo. Tremendous.
That is a rather top heavy letter R… Freudian psychoanalysis notwithstanding, this is a singularly ugly design. What self respecting reactionary is gonna fly that banner? Meanwhile, essjews have shit like this:
Clean, simple, evocative. That’s how you do it. They must have some actual graphic designers over on altright island. They can’t all be STEMpunks. Somebody fix this, it’s just sad…
So glad my hands are still attached, not so keen on running through wheat fields. That sounds like it would be itchy.
Nobody gets to own me – if anyone is going to make a profit off of my person it’s damn certain to be me.
Oh? Wonder why all those oil companies, which are largely owned and supported by right-wingers, seem to be against things like electric cars nor keen on the idea of public transportation in general…
What the fuck is it with right-wingers and their obsession with blonde women?
It’s bad enough I’ve had conversations where conservatives claim their side is better because they have all the “hot chicks” – each and every one who may as well be the same person in terms of personality (which is to say unbearably obnoxious) – but, as a Jew, I almost expect them to start talking about how we need more blue-eyed and blond(e)-haired individuals in general.
I know a lot of guys have a weird thing about hair and its color (I have a fondness for red hair myself, not sure why) but it seems to be their requirement for considering a woman attractive at all…or even deserving of value or attention.
It looks like something you make out of those triangle puzzle things. You know, the triangles pieces you have and then you have a silhouette you have to copy using them? Like a really shitty version of that.
Adding to the Rorschach interpretations of that logo, the R has such awkward proportions, all I could think of was, “Damn it, I fucked up my paper boat. Better fall back on my plan to fight for racial purity.”
Falconer!
You were missed, good sir.
It’s especially hilarious because these guys tend to love their evo psych. I’m not sure when blonde hair is thought to have emerged*, but the corresponding blue eyes are thought to be only about 10,000 years old. Back in their beloved alpha male mammoth hunting days when all the men could club submissive HB10s and drag them into their caves, the wimmenz were even more likely to have those icky brown eyes than they are now!
* A quick Wikipedia search says the European blond mutation is 11,000 years old but I know that’s not the most academic source ever.
@NickNamedNick
It all comes back to WW2 ideals with them. Frankly the only reason why they don’t just adopt the red, white and black is probably becayse they know for people fascist = bad.
On that logo, are they trying to mimic 90’s sci fi signs, the same signs of evil corporations who are always shown to be corrupt and greedy? I’m surprised it’s not a Wolf silouette overlaid on a red pill.
What a bizarre pitch. “If we were in charge, you could levitate to work. An image of a woman running her hands through grain. A slip-faced monocle would chase a cod through Bromley. Moist ideas fandango in the lapsed Eiffel marzipan. …thank you for your time.”
@PI: I missed you all, too!
I fell down a deep, dark hole called Tumblr and only just now managed to get someone to pull me out.
@Diptych: Even Night Vale residents would be like “wait, what?” at that.
(And even more so at the Alt Right themselves, I’m sure.)
Hey, ridiculous future tech solutions to infrastructure problems are the Libertarians thing. Get your own schtick, neo-nazis.
Did they at least hold the event in an old beer hall? The kids these days, no respect for history or protocol.
I’m not blonde but still like the idea of my hands running wild through a field of wheat. While I stay home eating bonbons.
For some reason I am reminded of this:
Wildly free-associating here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ostomachion
Not a fan of maglev trains; they require an entirely separate infrastructure to the already-existing rail infrastructure, have some concerning environmental effects, and don’t offer any benefits to match the increased cost and disruption.
Also, my kids are three and a half and I have been short on free time.
@WWTH:
Funny part about evo psych is the bullshit it pulls in trying to portray contemporary attitudes as if they’re ingrained in our DNA, as if society has no effect on how we act or what we like and dislike.
At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if the justification for why men like blondes so much by comparing them to gold as a mineral. It would only further prove my point about how the whole “model” of evo psych is misapplying societal attitudes to innate behaviors…
@Oogly Boggles:
I’m still annoyed at the fact it’s still a trend at all.
Part of me wonders if any of those guys realize how often women recolor their hair as is. I doubt every blonde woman is a natural blonde. Hell, Marilyn Monroe certainly wasn’t!
The blonde-in-a-wheat-field thing sounds like a beer commercial to me.
@HandsomeJack: that puzzle is called the tangram and it’s actually pretty cool. Cooler than these chucklefucks can ever be.