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female beep boop misogyny reddit

Lonely dude seeks “bad bitch” to assist him with his dick and possibly cure his flatulence problem

I found this wall of text posted to the BlatantMisogyny subreddit, and I really, really, really want it to be true.

Unlike most walls of text, this one will reward you enormously if you read it straight through to the end. If you find yourself troubled by the lack of punctuation just pretend you’re reading Molly Bloom’s soliloquy from James Joyce’s Ulysses.

Am tired of just texting female's and not get any sex or head from them and am tired of being around fake ass females that act like they not sluts am really fucking sick of it what I need is a girl that is a freak in bed a bitch that will pull my dick out of nowhere and play with it am really getting sick of fake ass bitch I need a real bitch that will do shit with me I don't know about you am tired of fake ass bitches that not do shit but where tight ass close to show what they got and they still don't let me fucking do anything with them these types of bitches not shit because I need a real bitch that wants my dick unlike these fake ass bitch and the fuck with using my damn hand am not in motherfucking jail anymore so I don't need to use my hands but I still feel like am in jail because I still have not got any girl to do shit with me and it's really fucked I just wish I can get rid of fake bitches and be round a real bitch that not scared to do shit with me and am really getting sick of not getting any and you bitches want to know why I fart lot when am round you bitch is because I been holding my nut in for too damn long and it's making me fart lot so if you bitches don't want to keep smelling my ass then your more then welcome to help me get my nut off by doing this it will make me fart less and I been fatting a lot so there is no telling how long I been holding my out back for but my nuts are starting to hurt because of it and I really don't want to use my hands at all I want a girl to do it

Ladies, line up for this one. He’s a keeper.

But I am a little confused, because according to the boys in the Semen Retention subreddit, “holding your nut back” for an extended period of time makes you smarter and more confident and magnetically attractive to the ladies. Maybe it also causes farts? Someone needs to do a proper study of this to see who is right, but it’s not going to be me because of all the farting.

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Lumipuna
Lumipuna
7 months ago

This guy complains like an ash borer beetle lost in a forest of fake ash beeches.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
7 months ago

This is probably insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but I’m slightly in awe at the implication that no one has to use their hands outside of jail.

Are… are we all* in jail?

*Excl. those who lack hands.

Karalora
Karalora
7 months ago

Shorter that guy:

“People are playing the vidya games WRONG! It must be because they’re COMMIES!”

Fabe
Fabe
7 months ago

@moggie

Today a video popped up in my youtube recommendations that was judging by the title and comments I read (didn’t watch the video) was pretty much a rant against accessibility setting in games . Guess if you’re color blind you’re not allowed to play video games.

Allandrel
Allandrel
7 months ago

@Fabe

You will see this a lot any time an ongoing game like an MMORPG announces new accessibility features. The complaint generally seems to be that the developers are “wasting development time and resources on features that don’t matter” instead of spending those resources on things that do matter, like whatever element of gameplay the complainer in question focuses on.

It is the same tantrum thrown any time they see something that is not explicitly and exclusively for them.

Case in point: Complaints that the new CGI He-Man and the Masters of the Universe cartoon on Netflix, and its accompanying toyline, are aimed at little kids rather than adult fans of the original. That there is also a Netflix MOTU series, and an accompanying toyline, aimed at said adult fans being produced at the same time, does not matter – EVERYTHING must be explicitly and exclusively for the Real Fans.

epitome of incomrepehensibility

Besides the randomness, it’s the old boring attitude of “the only feeemales who exist to me are the ones I want to bang.” Thought experiment for this guy: imagine women thinking the same thing about men. Fair or not fair?

@Dalillama – Somehow I got it into my head that you were talking about virgins, not sloths, only pooping once a week. Was a bit confused for a while 😛

Kestrel
Kestrel
7 months ago

Moggie- This animated version of some of the tweets is awesome!

https://twitter.com/irredeemableart/status/1449828264751550467?s=21

tom rogers
tom rogers
7 months ago

Slapping my desktop laughing at “…I’m not in MF’ing jail any more…”

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