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“Female orgasms are a Hollywood myth,” declares world’s saddest man

The (cis) female orgasm: It’s probably up in there somewhere

By David Futrelle

Is there any statement made by a heterosexual man that’s sadder than “female orgasm is a myth?” It’s a sentiment I’ve run across a number of times in and around the manosphere, and it’s such a self-own that I cannot help but look upon each new variation of the idea with a sense of wonder.

It suggests not only that the man making the statement has had a nonexistent or simply very bad sex life but also that he is too deliberately obtuse to take the word of the (cis) women of the world on a point rather central to their sexuality.

But men keep saying this, and not only that but they do so with a weird aura of confidence, as if they are daring truth tellers taking on some sort of mass deception.

I found the latest example on the site “GirlsAskGuys” — though this question is clearly being asked (and answered) by a guy.

“Is the Female ‘Orgasm’ just a myth by Hollywood?” he asks

Pointing to the gif below showing a (fake) orgasm from a Hollywood movie, he declares that “[t]his is a Female Orgasm according to Society/Hollywood…”

He dismisses the (fake) orgasm depicted in the gif snidely:

Basically a women opening her mouth.

You are telling me that this is equal to ejaculation? LMFAO!

Let’s not dwell too long on the absurdity of using a faked female orgasm from a movie to dismiss real orgasms as fake.

But even the fake, acted-out orgasm depicts something a good deal more involved than just a woman opening her mouth. Like, for example, her body spasming? I’m beginning to think this guy’s observational abilities are somewhat lacking.

He continues:

Sorry but the female orgasm is a myth… I’m sure women get pleasure but the fact is you don’t have an orgasm, you don’t have a climax at all.

Men on the other hand do have a climax, that’s when they ejaculate… Our orgasms are actually proven science.

It is true that orgasms involving a penis can be a bit easier to detect, because unless the orgasmer is practicing some elaborate tantric techniques these orgasms generally result in a dramatic spurt and a mess to clean up. You don’t need science to observe this, just your own eyes (and at least one hand).

Cis female orgasms are a bit more complicated than that, and can be more easily faked, but that doesn’t mean they’re not real, or that science has somehow failed to prove they exist. They can take many forms, some relatively subtle and others quite dramatic; and they generally do involve some sort of female ejaculate. In any case, Mr. No Female Orgasm, a quick googling of “female orgasm science” will pull up a considerable amount of bedtime reading on the subject.

Or you could, you know, just listen to women talk about the subject and assume they’re telling the truth about their experiences.

But Mr Won’t Listen to Women has more thoughts:

Now I know people are gonna come in here with the squirters… Fact is that is not a fact that’s even an orgasm. Not all women squirt… and so far science can’t say squirting is 100% due to an orgasm.

No, science can pretty much say just that.

Our master debater winds up his screed:

Women obviously have pleasure and I’m sure some days they have more pleasure than others but that is not an orgasm.

So yeah it’s a myth.

Keep repeating this, dude. Repetition won’t make it come true, of course, but at least it will serve as a warning to any women considering having sex with you.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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38 Comments
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Moggie
Moggie
1 year ago

You see, man is the default human, and a man’s experiences are the authentic human experiences. Things experienced by the feeemale can only be understood as imitations of the true (male) equivalents, and who would expect an imitation to be as good as the real thing? Also, the feeemale “orgasm” doesn’t feature the arcing ropes of jism familiar from porn and Bill Hicks, so is clearly inferior.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

@Ohlmann

maybe it’s TMI, but it run in my family to have dry orgasms on some foods. Which mostly mean that they don’t eat some specific dishes in public, just in case.

That is amazing. I’d love to hear more if you know more. Does this happen to other people? What foods are you talking about?

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
1 year ago

I could make SUCH a snarky comment here, but in deference to our marital privacy I won’t.

(Suffice it to say, I’m still very happily married to Mr. Parasol.)

K.
K.
1 year ago

BRB…diddling myself FOR SCIENCE~!!!!!

!!!

Of course, I will need to do several tests — again, FOR SCIENCE~!!!!!

NOBODY
NOBODY
1 year ago

So, David, I’m curious:

Is the manosphere talking about George Floyd and police abolition/ defunding/ reform at all? Racism at all?

I mean, life goes on, and I’m not going to mock this guy any harder for declaring the female orgasm a myth because he happened to do it when most of the world is actually having a conversation about racism for once. But I’m just curious

Personally I’m waiting for their hot take on Tampongate because you know that shit will be hilarious.

Joe
Joe
1 year ago

How do we know men have orgasms? Sure something comes out of the penis, but that is just liquid. We have no proof it is pleasurable. When men piss, liquid comes out of the same hole, but we don’t call that an orgasm. I postulate that men have all been faking any kind of ecstasy for thousands of years.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
1 year ago

@K

Thank you so much for the laugh. Make sure you establish a sample with an adequate n.

Demonhype
Demonhype
1 year ago

Wow. So I’ve been masturbating since before I was five for absolutely no reason at all, and that indescribably wonderful feeling that motivated me to do it must have actually been…I don’t know, some kind of rash from using the wrong detergent. Or ghosts or leprechauns, fuck, this jackass would probably consider either of those last two more logically and scientifically valid than the idea that i, as a female, have ever truly experienced any form of sexual climax.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 year ago

Women obviously have pleasure and I’m sure some days they have more pleasure than others but that is not an orgasm.

Yes, some days I have more pleasure than other days. Take the day of the Tulsa, Oklahoma, rally for Donald Trump, the one that was a staggering disappointment for the president. That was a day I had more pleasure than other days. True, that was not an orgasm — but not everything is.

numerobis
numerobis
1 year ago

As a man it’s pretty damn obvious when the woman I’m having PIV sex with is having an orgasm. It’s a bit less obvious without penetration.

epitome of incomprehensibility

@Kat – that was excellent 😀

Okay, this is fairly random, but the only thing that annoys me about orgasms is that, if they’re intense, the ringing in my ear might get louder soon afterwards. It goes away pretty quickly, but at first it scared me because the same thing happened when I got dizzy after having blood taken. But that was quite a different feeling! My best guess is that both cause a drop in blood pressure? (Yay tinnitus, though).

TMI for sex-related stuff, but yeah, not all cis women can get an orgasm the same way: I can’t seem to come through clit stimulation alone, but some people say they can only come that way.

Anyway, if someone isn’t sure how/if their partner can come, why don’t they, y’know, ASK? And maybe the OP hasn’t had a sexual experience himself, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. But again, he could ask people about stuff instead of making silly assumptions.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 year ago

@epitome

My best guess is that both cause a drop in blood pressure?

I am not a doctor and I don’t know for your specific case, but female orgasms do cause a drop in blood pressure, so that could be it. And changes in pressure can exacerbate tinnitus.

Anyway, if someone isn’t sure how/if their partner can come, why don’t they, y’know, ASK?

There’s this weird cultural idea that exists in a lot of men and women where they don’t want to ask partners about sex or communicate. I understand somewhat where this comes from, but sex is generally much better if partners communicate what they want or about what to do.

Everyone’s body is a little different, and not just cis women and AFAB people vary in this regard. TMI but a lot of people seem to think all AMAB people achieve orgasms easily from friction, but I usually have a really hard time reaching orgasm. This might have something to do with my dysphoria, or maybe just how I’m wired.

vaiyt
1 year ago

It’s easy to be right when you can just declare you read somebody else’s mind and know what they’re feeling better than they do.

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