Irma targets Tampa, a stalker plays the piano, and tiny puppies nap: Today in Tweets

About five years ago, my cousins used to live in the US Virgin Islands.

I am severely glad they don’t anymore. At this point, you could not bribe me enough to live in the Caribbean.

My sister and her family only started leaving Florida the day before yesterday. She’s fucking 40, and appears to have no capacity for making good life choices. She has three small children and only started leaving at the last minute. But no, she paid for a vacation and she wasn’t going to cut it short at all. Ugh.

That piano creep should get media attention alright, just not that kind.

The pair recently split up after a four-month relationship, and the break-up has left him devastated.

Dude. She’s not the love of your life. Get over it. We all go through breakups. You’re not special.

Ah, good old Eivind Berge. I wonder if he still with Emma the Emo, who used to comment here?

He’s still a rape/pedophilia apologist. Ptooey.

So many telling details in that piano stalker story:

– He’s 34 years old.
– They had been dating for only 4 months.
– He calls her Rapunzel.
– He unironically uses the word “whimsical” when describing his own actions.

That puppy took a dive in round 6, and now both aminals are splitting the spoils ?

What’s the problem? That piano tactic would work in a rom com, and those are totally true to life, right?

“I know people in my situation will send flowers or text or write letters but that only ever seems to make things worse. I wanted to do something that she might see, to let her know how much I love her, that she can see it and then take it or leave it.”

Dude, she’s already seen it. She left it. Take a HINT.

Ugh. I hope that piano eats his fingers.

If Florida was powered by wind and solar there would be no electricity in the state this weekend.

Long live fossil fuels.

1) If Florida was powered by wind and solar, maybe there wouldn’t be a category 5 hurricane barreling down on it right now.

2) There are these things called “batteries”.

3) All those fossil fuel-powered cars, unable to go anywhere because the gas stations ran out of fossil fuels. Yep, that’s a real reliable energy source.

This man won’t stop playing the piano

“I didn’t get the outcome I wanted, so I’m going to use public shaming, movie tropes, and media pressure to FORCE her to respond to me.”

She already said no. If she were going to change her mind, she would have done it on her own, without needing to be guilted into it by a Chopsticks marathon. Now she’ll be dragged into the media spotlight and forced to justify her choice, as if “no” in and of itself isn’t sufficient. Now she has to come up with an even more ironclad no with enough weight to cancel out this guy’s media sympathy, or else she risks coming across as the bad guy. This is so manipulative and coercive.

Run, ex-girlfriend. Run and do not look back.

Lulzy Wonkette has discovered the Piano Man. Prepare!

And oh yeah, speaking of Piano Men:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxEPV4kolz0

Dude, maybe take your schtick to a bar where you can hear all the other mopes whining and belching about the women who left them.

Honestly, I’d probably edge the dude off the seat and start making up shitty compositions on the spot to fuck with him.

Help me, someone, please… I dozed off and woke up in the middle of a universe -size bad acid trip….

How bad? You ask?? This bad: two fucking HURRICANES are tearing the underbelly from this nation, and it’s the only thing that doesn’t seem completely surreal….

Good thing about Mr. Piano until she comes back… He’ll be a much better pianist after all that practice. Or he’ll get arrested for disturbing the peace maybe.

The rest of it, not show much. Damn, I’m beginning to find myself mis-typing in entire words. That was not an auto-correct fail.

@Weird Eddie

This bad: two fucking HURRICANES are tearing the underbelly from this nation, and it’s the only thing that doesn’t seem completely surreal….

Between the hurricanes and the fires, I feel like I went to sleep and woke up in SimCity 2000 on disaster mode. Next we’ll be attacked by the robot alien.

Showing my age, but I half-expected to hear a tiny “ding!” before the caterpillar went back to the beginning of its munching arc.

The caterpillar is nightmare stuff for me. 🙁

@Petal

It’s the same for me – it’s fascinating and I want to watch, but – OHMYGODISTHATITSFACELOOKAWAYLOOKAWAYLOOKAWAY

I think the best way to defeat this piano wankery would be for other musicians to make him look ridiculous. One tuba player can pretty much destroy a piano performance, for example. I’m not suggesting the guy’s ex should hire one: pro bono tuba must be a thing.

Nequam wins all internets, forever.

I half-expected to hear a tiny “ding!” before the caterpillar went back to the beginning of its munching arc.

<3<3<3 🙂

Riding out the storm with my elderly mom, who I’m here taking care of during her cancer treatment. (I’m a Gold Coast native.) Rain in sheets. Tornadoes everywhere per my phone alerts. I needed this laugh desperately.

https://twitter.com/CSGV/status/906512170405507073

Oh…Florida.

Piano dude reminds me why the things that happen in rom-coms are not as cute when they happen in real life.

@ Buttercup;

Next we’ll be attacked by the robot alien.

That’s Ivanka the Cyborg… see Tricia Helfer from BSG television story arc… specifically the ending of the Blood and Chrome mini….

ETA capitalize Buttercup… proper name ya know….

So Piano Man has one redeeming characteristic: he doesn’t seem to have given out his ex’s name to the media. So there’s that at least.

He sounds like an overly-dramatic handful who is way too much work, and I wish his ex the best. She did right for herself by breaking up with this guy. It’s too bad that he’s bought the social lie that loving someone really, really hard is enough to make that person love you back, because he’s making her life unnecessarily difficult right now on that basis.