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self-care trump

Put the Oxygen Mask on Yourself First: Dealing with the new realities of Trump’s America

Take care or yourself, or else you wont be able to take care of others
Take care or yourself, or else you wont be able to take care of others

When I finally went to bed late last night, there was a small part of me that hoped I would wake up this morning to find that Donald Trump’s improbable victory had been nothing more than a very bad dream.

Barring that, which I knew was a bit of a long shot, I hoped that I would at least wake up with the inklings of a plan for what to do about this catastrophe. I hoped I could write a rousing blog post sketching out my thoughts on the road ahead– for this blog and for the anti-Trump movement as a whole.

Alas, that didn’t happen either. I’m still processing the bad news, emotionally and intellectually. And I know a lot of you are doing the same.

And that’s ok. Trump will not take office until the end of January. There will be plenty of time to come up with ways to fight back against the orange one.

Right now the important thing is to take care of ourselves and those around us. Give yourself however much time you need. Avoid stress. Don’t beat yourself up for what happened, and don’t take out your anger on others on our side. Turn off the news if need be. Do whatever you need to do to clear your head and keep yourself safe.

In the comments here, feel free to continue the discussion that started in the “VOTE” post yesterday. And please share any self-help and self-care strategies you have — even if all you’ve got at the moment is pictures of cats and videos of hedgehogs.

If trolls show up, or if there is anything else that pops up in the thread that I should know about, please send me an email about it.

We can fight this thing. We can beat this thing. But first we need to get ourselves centered.

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Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

@Scildfreja

I didn’t know that. I have vocal tics which make my breathing constantly irregular.

Falconer
Falconer
5 years ago

“Trump is anti-establishment”

“Bush is small business”

Jesus, is it me? Do I attract these lazy thinkers?

@Axecalibur: I’m done with his ass. Who wants to email David?

Falconer
Falconer
5 years ago

weirwoodtreehugger….I used to have a different avatar for many years; it was M. Jackson album cover of the single ‘smooth criminal’. But, I had to get a new PC and I just had issues with Win 10 for that avatar.

So you picked someone who lives in a universe where the only physical law is that he must fail?

Weird (and stunned) Eddie
Weird (and stunned) Eddie
5 years ago

@ Axe

Respect

@ Kookoo;

In the late 60’s and early 70s, the whites were “white-flighting” out of the cities, taking all the small businesses, all the tax base, all possibility for economic growth, and your god-king Cheeto and his cronies were packing up the factories and moving them “offshore”, leaving nothing for the residents left in the cities to build on and no economic base to get loans against, and no chance of getting financing due to red-lining. Every time the citizens DID build some kind of economic base, along came the whites to do some “Urban Renewal”. Along came Nixon the Toxin and his “War on black people… ‘scuse me, War on Drugs” to lock up 20% (now 40%) of the black men of child-rearing age. I’m not going to allow any fucking arguments about any fucking thing that black people “could do differently” because WE (white people) POISONED THE WELL, and we CONTINUE to poison the well regularly. How do you expect any culture to prosper when the dominant culture torpedoes everything they do?? For fucks sake, READ THE SIGNS before you try to navigate the argument!!

booburry
5 years ago

I feel like I may violently lash out at the next person to tell me I need to have understanding for thee poor beleaguered Trump voters. My patience is so worn at this point. I don’t know how I’ll make it through work tonight.

Weird (and stunned) Eddie
Weird (and stunned) Eddie
5 years ago

@ Falconer

Who wants to email David

I’m with ya

Skiriki
Skiriki
5 years ago

@Weird (and stunned) Eddie

Er, you mean Weatherwax 😀

@kokoda

Go sit on a cactus, preferably Echinocactus grusonii.

A man whose apartment in the heart of New York looks like this is in no way “outsider to whatever you imagine Establishment being”.

Why the fuck he’s going to promote shit people like Giuliani, Arpaio, Palin and other grifters and scumbags? Or do you think they aren’t “Establishment” either?

For fuck’s sake.

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cw1ZkPIWgAQ33aP.jpg

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cw2cOpfUsAA_rYK.jpg

(Also sent an e-mail to our Dark Overlord before I posted this.)

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
5 years ago

@Weird Eddie Not to mention all of the Interstate projects that ‘just happened to’ be built in the middle of predominantly Black communities, pretty much destroying them.

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

I still need to catch up with this thread, but I need some advice. I’m drafting a letter to send to my representative(s) to ask them to take action to get rid of the electoral college system. Who should I be addressing this to? I did some quick research that pointed to secretary of state. Is there any other office I should be sending it to as well?

Makroth - Agent of the Great Degeneracy
Makroth - Agent of the Great Degeneracy
5 years ago

Don’t insult Koko’s avatar, guise! It makes him sad.

Karalora
Karalora
5 years ago

Is it selfish of me to be glad I live in an area that doesn’t generally experience rampant hate crimes?

Hell, here it is: If any Mammotheers are ever in the San Fernando Valley and afraid to take public transportation to go home at night, I have crash space. I have a foldout sofa and a crummy little futon and there’s an extremely affectionate kitty and lots of movies and books and LEGO sets.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

@Imaginary Petal,

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-art-now/201411/email-apnea

Research by Dr. Margaret Chesney and Dr. David Anderson at National Institute of Health (NIH) demonstrated that holding one’s breath contributes to stress-related diseases and disturbs the body’s balance of oxygen, carbon dioxide, and nitric oxide, which help keep the immune system strong, fight infection, and mediate inflammation. It can affect our well-being and our ability to work effectively. Shallow breathing can also trigger a sympathetic nervous system “fight or flight” response. If we stay in this state of emergency breathing and hyperarousal for extended periods of time, it can not only impact sleep, memory, and learning, but also exacerbate anxiety and depression.

Article includes some tips on how to avoid breathing/posture problems while sitting or on a computer, to avoid those effects. Great advice for pretty much everyone, as far as I’m concerned. I hope it helps.

Weird (and stunned) Eddie
Weird (and stunned) Eddie
5 years ago

@ Skiriki

Oops, sorry… only one brain cell left, and it’s struggling 🙂 Actually, it’s still in shock.

@ Fishy;

Yeah, no doubt. My father talked to my brother and I about those things in the 60s when they were happening, I am so grateful for that. And, though I miss him, I’m grateful he’s not here to see how much worse it’s gotten.

I’m gonna go have another good cry now. That old, wore-out intellectual in me wants to just talk about the issues in abstract terms, like the elite’s role in the economic downturns… when the discussion gets to the actual impact of this shit on people I know personally, it’s debilitating. That’s fucked up and privileged.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

@kupo, I’d hit up your locals and state reps first. They’re more likely to actually respond, given that their offices are dominated more by the people they represent instead of the buckets of lobby dollars. Federal reps as well, obviously – frankly, anyone. I’m sorta doubtful whether anyone in the federal government will give a damn, mind you.

Also, their offices are likely being flooded right now. Not that I’m saying don’t do it – by all means, do it. Just that the letters that are still coming in a month later will probably be more likely to get a response. This is a long term project.

Go get’em!

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
5 years ago

@kupo
The only ways to get rid of the EC is thru the Compact (maybe. @Jack’s raised doubts, so I’m not 100% sure how enforceable it is) or thru an Amendment. Your state’s already in the Compact, that leaves the Amendment. In short, contact everyone. State Reps, Governor, US Reps + Senators. Amendments are an all hands on deck sorta deal

ETA: Sorry, couldn’t resist

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
5 years ago

@Weird Eddie Yeah. :/

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

@kokoda,

I see that you’ve chosen to hide from the request to defend your position because of the thinnest veils of incivility. I myself was quite civil, but others were not. They’re allowed to be angry and upset at you – they’re the ones that will be bearing the brunt of the racism, misogyny and hate that’s begun to flow forth. I’m not American, so have the luxury of distance.

I’ll continue to be civil – I promise! – in this conversation, until David yanks your posting privileges.

You’re a coward, @kokoda. That’s a civil thing to say – didn’t say anything offensive or rude. It’s a simple observation.

You happily throw your fellow citizens – vulnerable citizens of all stripes – under the Republican bus, knowing that you yourself will be fine. You’re even cowed by harsh language, so cowardly is your nature. You’re happy to use this cowardice to avoid having to explain yourself.

You’re selfish, @kokoda. That’s a civil thing to say – it’s an observation of your behaviour. You want to “fight the Establishment corrpution” – which is a great goal by the way! – but you don’t want to do the hard work yourself, don’t want to put yourself on the line. You’re happy to push vulnerable people out in front of you, so that they can take the heat and do the protesting while you sit back and reap the dividends. I feel assured in saying that you aren’t gonna be the one protesting government corruption, facing down riot police. We’re gonna be the ones doing that.

(I’d add here that you’re a racist fuckstick, but that’d be uncivil. I leave it to Axe and Falconer and others to peel bloody strips out of you for that one.)

You’re stupid, @kokoda. That’s a civil thing to say – you think that a multi-millionaire who lives in a gilded penthouse apartment in New York City, surrounded by political cronies, is “anti-Establishment”. That makes it incredibly clear that you don’t understand what the Establishment is.

Trump has surrounded himself with – who? The Republican Establishment. Who’s going to be the most powerful VP in American history – according to Trump? Mike Pence. Establishment – Republican. His cabinet? Not outsiders. Each and every one part of the Establishment.

You’ve been duped, @kokoda. Congratulations.

Any defense? Or was that too uncivil?

Croquembouche of patriarchy
Croquembouche of patriarchy
5 years ago

@kokoda, your avatar is poorly thought through, and you should feel bad.
Your nym is poorly thought through, and incompatible with your avatar and with your grubby little self interested opinions, and you should feel bad.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuzzy_Wuzzy_Angels

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
5 years ago

Ad Hominem attacks.

Did someone put a curse on trolls that they may never figure out the definition of the ad hominem fallcy? Because every single one of them on every corner of the internet seems to believe that being impolite = ad hominem attack

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago
Binjabreel
Binjabreel
5 years ago

Ignoring the rest of the brainwashed alt right drek, I’d just like to point this part out in kokoda’s bullshit:

“You liberals are stupid! And you just make ad hominem attacks!”

Jesus fucking Christ, dipshit, go get fucked.

Hey y’all, I don’t post here as much, and might not in the near future, but I always read the threads. I’ve got tons of love for all of y’all, you folk are what have always made America great. *sigh* and here I thought fighting the Bush presidency was going to be my last goddamned insurgency. and this time I have a two year old and another on the way to think about.

TL:dr- I love y’all, and if we stay mad we can hobble this fucking fascist nightmare in two years. In the meantime, let’s take solace in the literally hundreds of thousands of folk who have taken to the streets. We are not alone.

P.s., if y’all flee to California, I’ve got a comfy couch.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

… oh my God, Croquembouche of patriarchy. I had no idea that’s where the word “Kokoda” was from or what it was about.

Fuck you, @kokoda, for dirtying such a selfless mission with your shitty, selfish, cowardly, stupid opinions. And yes, that was uncivil. You can use that as an excuse to whine about how mean and irrational we are if you need something to hide behind.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
5 years ago

@kokoda
For a while I decided to respond in poetry to any troll in an attempt to entertain. Now it just seems trite given the circumstances. Kokoda, you voted for a bigot, a bigot that doesn’t have the majority of the people for him, that the vast majority of minorities did not vote for him, that has a cabinet chock full of the most blatant racist, sexist, climate denying homophobic and transphobic bigots that ALL are establishment politicians.

Your candidate wanted Bush tax cuts that caused the recession, and wants even more than that. “For the people” bullshit. If you really were you’d actually consider the lives of everyone who has to now watch their backs just in case a brownshirt is looking for blood.

The fact that you named yourself after a group of samaritans who got abused based on accusations alone, and you still voted for someone who has the backing pf fascists and neonazis disgusts me.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

Hi @Binjabreel! Love seeing your comments when you do. Don’t feel obligated though. Congrats on the little ones, and stay safe down there!

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
5 years ago

@WWTH Or, as with much casual racism, sexism or consent ‘bafflement’, they do know and like to pretend they don’t.

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