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self-care trump

Put the Oxygen Mask on Yourself First: Dealing with the new realities of Trump’s America

Take care or yourself, or else you wont be able to take care of others
Take care or yourself, or else you wont be able to take care of others

When I finally went to bed late last night, there was a small part of me that hoped I would wake up this morning to find that Donald Trump’s improbable victory had been nothing more than a very bad dream.

Barring that, which I knew was a bit of a long shot, I hoped that I would at least wake up with the inklings of a plan for what to do about this catastrophe. I hoped I could write a rousing blog post sketching out my thoughts on the road ahead– for this blog and for the anti-Trump movement as a whole.

Alas, that didn’t happen either. I’m still processing the bad news, emotionally and intellectually. And I know a lot of you are doing the same.

And that’s ok. Trump will not take office until the end of January. There will be plenty of time to come up with ways to fight back against the orange one.

Right now the important thing is to take care of ourselves and those around us. Give yourself however much time you need. Avoid stress. Don’t beat yourself up for what happened, and don’t take out your anger on others on our side. Turn off the news if need be. Do whatever you need to do to clear your head and keep yourself safe.

In the comments here, feel free to continue the discussion that started in the “VOTE” post yesterday. And please share any self-help and self-care strategies you have — even if all you’ve got at the moment is pictures of cats and videos of hedgehogs.

If trolls show up, or if there is anything else that pops up in the thread that I should know about, please send me an email about it.

We can fight this thing. We can beat this thing. But first we need to get ourselves centered.

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Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

I had to give myself insulin this morning, for the first time since September.

I’m trying to tell myself that I can get things back under control, that I can continue to progress in my rehab. It’s so hard right now.

(((Marina)))
5 years ago

Dear David,

let’s do it together. We’re stronger than this.

Love <3

Aunt Podger
Aunt Podger
5 years ago

@Victorious Parasol, hang in there. Remember the fable about the two frogs in the cream bucket.

I am focusing my donating to Planned Parenthood and food pantries.

Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
5 years ago

Trump is still supposedly going on trial soon, right?

And apparently a university in Oregon has come up for a way for Trump to be impeached by charging him with fraud via Trump University.

I had to call in to work today. I didn’t have a ride because roommate had a job interview and other roommate had to take her, and I’m still hella depressed because of all of this.

So I’m playing Skyrim. Jackie is also doing a good job of cheering me up by sending me pictures and blog posts about miniatures.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
5 years ago

I’m so glad that I do medieval combat. It’s a great stress reliever. :/

<3

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
5 years ago

@Paradoxical Oh let’s hope so!!

Jaygee
Jaygee
5 years ago

I am so disappointed in America. I had put more faith in the decency of the people than I should have. I can’t believe we chose hate and incompetency. This sets a terrible precedent for our country and the rest of the world (because now this horribleness is acceptable and even laudable). I went to bed hoping against hope that it would turn out that voter suppression accounted for this unprecedented victory, but I think we Americans really are that hateful, and that’s a despairing thought.

I hope you all are doing well and the people you care about are doing well. I wish I could say it will get better, but I don’t think I can guarantee that. Things aren’t okay. This reminds me so much of when the death eaters were triumphant in Harry Potter, but this is worse because it’s so real. I wish that love and all things good would win out. Even though love (and empathy) hasn’t this round, I will choose love over hate every time.

I’m trying to stay positive and be somewhat productive. I went for a jog with my dog, which made her really excited (glad I could at least make my dog happy). I really hate running but I did it anyway because I should get into shape. Right now I’m drowning things out with some music. I’m thinking of attending a protest against Trump later today.

Makroth - Agent of the Great Degeneracy
Makroth - Agent of the Great Degeneracy
5 years ago

I’d like to apologize about my comment in the VOTE thread. It seems to be deleted but it came after Trump won. I basically said i wanted to watch the world burn but in a more… shitty way. I’m sorry for what i said.

NotLurking
NotLurking
5 years ago

Congratulations, America. You’ve officially jumped the shark.
I feel very frightened for the future. I try to tell myself that Trump has no real alt-right conservative convictions, that, like any successful snake-oil salesman, he was telling his audience what they wanted to hear. But, scarier and more depressing still, us his apparent intention to give power to genuine homophobic misogynist throw-back Pence.

So any talk of how it would be great if Trump were impeached stings even more

J^3 (@JoeKlemmer)
J^3 (@JoeKlemmer)
5 years ago

Don’t let this get you down. It’s not good, for sure. But it’s not the end of the world. This wasn’t even the most divisive and contentious election the country has had. (No one was trying to pass laws to make the other party illegal). The country survived then. It survived what is considered the most corrupt administration in history (Grant). The best thing to do is take a long break, do something that will take your mind off of it all, and then come back in two months refreshed and ready to keep our government in check. That’s what our system is setup to do. And remember: This, too, shall pass.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
5 years ago

If the Dems continue to reach across the aisle instead of filibustering the GOP like when the situation was reversed they’re gonna go extinct.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent
5 years ago

Many questions will need to be answered in this trying time.

One of these questions will be, “Can a socially-hampered, yet conventionally intelligent teenager manage to lead some semblance of a new order?”

Latte Cat
Latte Cat
5 years ago

Oh god. I don’t even know what to say. I’d like to start a discussion, but I can’t. I’m speechless. Even I haven’t processed this properly yet, and I’m not even American! This was a huge deal. I could barely sleep. I stayed up until 2am watching the results come in live, and then got up at 6am to watch the result. My heartfelt sympathies to people actually living in America who voted to keep the Orange Ape out of the White House. There’s some hope for America yet. I think.

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

My self-care advice is open your windows for a bit (if it’s not too cold and won’t drive your heating bill through the roof) and then play some silly, upbeat music that doesn’t require much investment from you. I’ve found the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack to be good for that.

Rooting for you all❤. There are people in your corner.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
5 years ago

I pity America. I thought there were sensible people over there. Instead all you have are reactionary right wingers. Shame. 🙁

Weird (and stunned) Eddie
Weird (and stunned) Eddie
5 years ago

share any self-help and self-care strategies you have

Some time back, I began hacking a Pandora music channel so it plays mostly political folk music. I “thumbs-up” any song that fits my criteria and “thumbs-down” any song that doesn’t. It’s very cathartic.

Handsome "Punkle Stan" Jack

I’m giving into hope and saying that there’s still votes needed to be counted. Nothing is concrete yet. We’ve done so much, I just can’t see how we can just slide back with Trump and Pence, not after we got a black president. We’re gonna keep pushing forward. And if he does win? We still have done a lot. We’ve gotten lots of women and PoC in Congress and the Senate this election.

Trump, Pence and the Republican majority will have a hell of a time.

And we still have 2018 to help get Dems the majority. We just have to get people to vote. We can do this people.

Hugseverycat
Hugseverycat
5 years ago

I’m in disbelief. I’m in despair. I don’t understand. I thought people were good.

Cynical Optimist
Cynical Optimist
5 years ago

Anyone have advice on how deal with a sibling who’s a walking example of Poe’s Law? I can’t just confront him out of the blue, and I don’t even know if he’s genuine in his support of Trump.

Pendraeg
Pendraeg
5 years ago

I’ve been reminding myself that one lost battle does not mean the end of the war.

For the next four years we endure, we fight ,every day in a thousand little ways, when bad policies are put forth we oppose them, when people lie about basic facts we counter with truth. When you see those ugly impulses emboldened you stand up and say no. You say no this isn’t right, you say no I will not allow this.

At least that’s what I intend to do.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
5 years ago

If Trump is impeached, you’re going to be stuck with Pence, a man about as useful as Nick Clegg.

Barloq
5 years ago

I’ve been horribly depressed all day because of this (on the plus side though, I think I did really well on that midterm that I didn’t bother to study because I was watching this shitshow go down). I’m really, REALLY hoping that Trump ends up being as ineffectual as I am imagining.

And the ultimate silver lining for me is that, perhaps inevitably, Trump’s worst supporters are going to have their joy turn to ash. The Day of the Rope is clearly not coming, Hillary is obviously not going to be jailed, Trump will probably increase ties with (((The Jews))) and (((Zionists)))… There’s going to be a ton of pain coming (I can’t see immigration NOT being restricted unfortunately, and with the Republicans owning the entire government, the strides that LGBTQ and trans individuals were making are going to be halted or slowed to a trickle), but if nothing else we can hopefully laugh as the shitlords’ idol turns their joy into bitter rage as he turns out to be “just another part of the establishment”.

That said… it’s going to be a long 4 years. All I can say is that we need to capitalize on the likely shitshow Trump is going to create and present the positive alternative when that time comes.

Amused
5 years ago

I don’t want to depress myself any further with dire predictions of what might happen (plausible scenarios range from “nothing” to “decade-long bloodbath”, with “something like Maduro’s Venezuela” in the middle), so I decided to think more on what I think liberals need to do to fight against this nonsense:

1. Pay attention to small and “unimportant” local elections, like those for county clerk, sheriff, village judge and various administrative positions (to say nothing of local town and city councils and legislatures). What happened last night is in no small part because local control is in the Republican death grip. They control the polls, they control the districting, they control the voter rolls, they control courthouse records … it’s scary. They’ve worked their way up from the bottom. That’s where the Democrats need to start in order to pick up the pieces.

2. Don’t compromise. Ever. On anything. Look at how the Republicans consistently refused to give an inch — we all thought it would hurt them, but instead, it propelled them to unprecedented power. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Compromise works in conflicts that have a definite termination event. They work in an ongoing competition as a temporary strategic measure to buy time or to build up to bigger gains. But compromise for its own sake in an ongoing competition is a way to lose. Don’t cede ground; it will always come back to haunt us. To anything and everything Republicans put on the table, the Democrats’ answer should always be “no”.

3. Kill terrible legislation with poison pill provisions. You want a voter ID law? Fine. Here’s a provision that guarantees one an ID with no undue burden. Here is another, making it a felony to purge a name from the rolls without probable cause. It won’t work every time with a Republican majority in Congress, but enough of these will get through to undermine at least some of their agenda.

4. When Republican politicians and judges misbehave in the slightest, call them out on it again, and again, and again, and again. For godssakes, never let anything slide. I’m not talking about sex scandals — because clearly, people don’t care — or verbal gaffes, because to the Trump Voter, that’s an assault on one of their own. I’m talking about breaches of protocol much greater than the one over which Clinton got crucified. Demand investigations, impeachment and charges. Trump is a birther — push the narrative that he is a Russian intelligence asset. Unlike the birther conspiracy theory, that one actually has a reasonable basis in fact. Bring it up in public discussion over and over, demand an investigation of his e-mails, his dedicated server and his financial dealings with Russia. Same with everyone else. Yes, Democratic legislators should ABSOLUTELY be petty as hell. That time when Scalia asked Verrilli whether he expects him to read the ACA? Scalia should have been reprimanded, investigated and promptly impeached, with the Justice Department conducting an equivalent of a proctology exam on all his prior cases, to ascertain ones where he didn’t bother to read the record. It doesn’t pay to be gentlemanly with Republicans — they take it as a weakness and use it. It’s time we turned their famous crabbiness against them.

5. When (assuming presidential elections aren’t cancelled forever) Democrats gain control of the Executive again, mercilessly purge it of all the Trumpkins. I don’t care how “competent” or “experienced” they are: Republican FBI agents abdicated the one responsiblity they had towards all Americans: to keep us safe. They neglected real investigations, including terror investigations, in favor of a partisan wild goose chase. For that, they deserve the boot. And don’t just fire them; investigate the hell out of them. Then give them a choice: either they resign and retire completely from public life (i.e. no lobbying and no punditry) and sign a non-disparagement agreement, or we bring charges. And don’t put Republicans in positions of power at law enforcement agencies for the sake of “bipartisanship” — like I said, what Democrats have been treating as a gesture of goodwill, Republicans see as an entrance point to undermine a Democratic administration.

6. One thing I always said about the Clinton email “scandal”: to the extent her and her people’s use of personal servers and gmail accounts is a problem, it’s not a Clinton problem — it’s the culture of the government in general. The DNC got hacked, and the GOP is jubilant. Here is to them falling blissfully asleep at the switch. How much do you want to bet Gingrich’s or Giuliani’s mailbox is a treasure trove? Especially given that FBI Trumpkins have been leaking to Giuliani, who has been leaking to the Trump campaign, who in turn was almost certainly passing classified information to Russia. Imagine the fallout! I sure hope no foreign government ever interferes with our elections again, on anyone’s behalf — but the GOP can get hacked just like the DNC. Just saying.

Keep fighting the good fight.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

If you can, go for a walk today. Nothing too long, and with some music maybe – it’s too easy to spin off into bad thoughts otherwise, I find. But it’s not a bad day out today, here, and I found it a reminder that the world’s still turning.

Other good news.

55% of American still support gay marriage, with 30-something against. That’s still a majority.

Legal abortion is over 50%, with 40-some opposed.

90% of Americans favour background checks to buy guns. That’s across the aisle.

64% of Americans are worried about global warming, only around 35% aren’t.

The election hasn’t changed that. It’s just given a platform to the angry white minority. We’ve still got the people on our side.

Hashtag Ravenclaw
Hashtag Ravenclaw
5 years ago

I haven’t followed the huge discussion in the VOTE thread, so all apologies if I’m repeating what has already been said…

I’m not even a woman, or American, but I’m worried sick about abortion rights. Trump will most likely get to appoint two SCOTUS justices in his first term alone (hopefully his only one), which could be enough to repeal Roe v. Wade. This will not ban abortion across the U.S., but it will allow individual states to ban it. Some states have laws on the books that provide for an immediate abortion ban if Roe is repealed; others have a pre-existing ban that was overruled by Roe and may come back into effect.

We’ve already been seeing a rise in back-alley or “homemade” abortions in red states as a result of arbitrary abortion restrictions and TRAP laws. Things could get even worse, very soon. Even if abortion remains legal, it may become inaccessible to some women if Planned Parenthood gets defunded. If they come for your abortion rights, people, I hope you go down in the streets and fight for them with everything you’ve got, up to and including nonviolent lawbreaking. This also applies to all male allies, all husbands and partners of women who’ve had (or may one day have) an abortion, and all people who live in blue states but feel a sense of solidarity with their red state sisters. An abortion ban would be a regression on the level of bringing back creationism in public schools or re-segregating public transportation. We. Cannot. Allow. It.

I’m having a very gloomy day and have trouble concentrating on work, despite being personally unaffected by Trump’s election. And I feel guilty for feeling like shit, because I cannot IMAGINE what it must be like to be an American woman, non-white person or LGBT person.

I do have hope for the long term, though. Demographic trends favor the Democrats, and I highly doubt Trump will do a good enough job to be reelected. But it’s going to be a shitty 4 years for my southern neighbors. I extend my sympathies on behalf of Canada.

(And no, we’re not trading you our Trudeau for your Trump. No, not even if you give us American Netflix.)

#Booker2020

P.S.: Don’t forget to vote in the mid-terms.

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