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Open Thread for Personal Stuff, 5/16 Bearcat Edition

catbear
Best Friends 4 Ever

A long overdue Open Thread for Personal Stuff. (There’s also one for non-personal stuff.)

As always, no trolls or MRAs. Let me know if any show up.

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dlouwe
6 years ago

@IP

Hah, fair enough!

This is from our second run of recording; we recorded 3 songs but some issues with the equipment introduced some flaws in the master files that we didn’t notice until after the session, so two of them were pretty much unusable. (also some issues with our upright bass falling over and snapping in half stopped us from recording the planned 4th song *sad trombone*) This one does have a couple small hiccups that mess with the video sync a little near the end, but we were determined to get *some* usable content out of the session, and I’m still really happy with how it turned out.

Skiriki
Skiriki
6 years ago

Imaginary Petal:
It is hard to predict how it goes; the side effect may go away or it may not, for me the impact lessened a notch but never went away completely. But it did do its job as a quick fix to keep my head together during a time I needed that, it just didn’t work as a forever-solution.

Sinkable John
Sinkable John
6 years ago

@dlouwe

That singing voice made my day.

dlouwe
6 years ago

@Sinkable John

I’m glad you like it! She really is quite talented.

Sinkable John
Sinkable John
6 years ago

Well I am a sucker for exactly that kind of female voice. I was a huge Stevie Nicks fan when I was a kid (I was born in 92, so I’m talking about her 90s voice) and almost dated a girl in high school solely because I was in love with her voice (which, whaddyaknow, is actually not a good idea). Went so far as to pressure my bandmates into including her, as singer I had leverage in “I need halp”. That’s when we made our best stuff. These days I listen to a lot of french rap and one of my favorite artists is a punk-rock woman in her early 30s whose voice sounds like whiskey and weed. (for anyone interested, La Gale – Qui M’Aime Me Suive)

It’s that thing MRAs complain about, “vocal fry”. I have a much nicer word for it but it’s in french so oh well. I just absolutely love deeper voices with that sort of rough edge, in part because that’s also my own kind of singing voice, but women do make it sound so much better than males. And your band’s singer manages to strike perfect balance in it as well, so that’s really, really impressive ._.

mrex
mrex
6 years ago

@Hambeast

The thing I worry about is, do pets have a quality of life that justifies us keeping them? I really hope so!”

For birds and for domestic mammals most definately. Living in the wild is a cruel, short life. Contrast that to having an owner that provides for all their needs, for free! As long as the owner makes the effort to understand what an animals specific needs are, and doesn’t make assumptions based on the needs of other animals or worse, humans. This means sheep need to be shorn, dogs don’t get hugged and ridden, and cats are obligate carnivores, not vegetarians.

As for most exoctic mammals and many reptiles, fish, and invertibrates, the answer is probably not. No matter how caring and careful an owner is, the needs of the animal are not likely to be fully met in captivity.

A good example are hermit crabs, who live for decades in the wild but only for a few years in captivity. I used to keep them, I gave them both sand and coconut soil to dig in, fresh and salt water to bath in, misted them every day, checked the humidity and the temperature, gave them pellets and fresh food, and none of mine, or any captive one that I know of, lived the reported 50 years that they can live in the wild. They’re just not adapatable to captivity. So I stopped keeping them becuse IMO the rights of the animal to live as long of a life as possible trump my desire to keep them as pets because I think they’re “cool”.

autosoma
6 years ago

@Mockingbird. you need to ask yourself questions, what will your quality of life be like? What stressors (internal and external) will occur? Will the certification aid you outside of “Governmental” work (25 years ago I had to do DOD never used it since).

The money? from my understanding it two different jobs in two different locations, will the lucre be enough to support your current quality of life? What sacrifices will you have to make?What is the “community” like and the quality of life?

Finally, what is your vision (both of you) of career progression? How will J1 or J2 match your vision for the future.

Finally, Take it from me there is a third option, go somewhere else and find a job somewhere else, it may mean a dip in your career path but it could be for the good. Three years ago I quit being a senior manager in a City of London Financial Institution, on Tuesday I regain my former position, but on the South Coast of England 10 mins walk from the beach 25 mins walk from work. So maybe check out alternatives.

guy
guy
6 years ago

Speaking of music, I got the Hatsune Miku English V3 voicebank trial version, and was wondering if anyone might have some sheet music for me to mess around with tuning on. The trial editor, unfortunately, is pretty limited and only allows 16 measures, but the full version costs over a hundred dollars (for the editor, voicebanks are ~$150 per), so I’m definitely not getting it if I don’t have a positive experience with trials.

Freemage
Freemage
6 years ago

Mockingbird:

You talk a lot in your post about the difference in health insurance. If either of you has ongoing health issues, even relatively mild ones (like, say, controlled hypertension or diabetes), that’s almost sure to be what I’d look at in settling the dispute–that’s a finger on J1’s side, with the medical situation being what determines how hard it’s pressing.

In addition, simply put:

You can always come home to the U.S. if you decide after a time that J1 isn’t working out, and may have additional skills to be even more valued in this market once you do. Getting an opportunity to live and work abroad, though, is not something you can rely on coming back up again. If that’s important to you, or if you think the experience would enrich your kids’ understanding of the world, I think that, too, would tilt the balance.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
6 years ago

It’s a funny thing … as in, not odd at all when you really think about it but it still seems “funny” in the society we live in, that appears to prize shiny imperviousness so highly –

that there are quite a few people here dealing with important mental and emotional and physical health issues, and with losses or fears or some social issues that would just bury most people –

and the selfsame people here are full to overflowing with brilliant ideas, knowledge, humour, kindness and interesting things to say and do.

Who’d a thunk it, it almost seems that recognising and acknowledging one’s failings/the things one really struggles with doesn’t take away one whit from being worthwhile and having a huge amount to offer.

My best wishes to everyone who’s coping with losses, and with anxiety and depression and all those (not) fun things.

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

@dlouwe
Tasty music!

@IP
That cutie Fingie meets the world! It sounds like Boris Badenov is inspiring the tweets. And Fingie’s sister, another cutie, plays an important supporting role.

@autosoma
Nice to have you back! All best wishes for an improvement in your situation. The new job sounds promising.

@opposable thumbs
Yeah, it’s inspiring to read about WHTM people facing down their (sometimes invisible but no less real) challenges!

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

I think I’m losing ground when it comes to mental health. I’ve been unemployed for about three years now, and that is not from lack of effort. The continual lack of response from people I send resumes to or ask for advice from, it’s like something in me has dried up and dropped off. My motivation is evaporating, I can’t seem to move forward on anything that I’ve been working on that is not job related. It’s getting harder and harder to be positive about anything. I’ve never been very good at casual conversation and it just keeps getting harder, and text always feels like sandpaper in my head. The only think that I seem to do well is argue with people and I can’t really put that on a resume.

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

@Brony
I’m sorry to hear that. Unemployment, especially long-term unemployment, can really do a number on your self-esteem. Also, there’s something about the energy you pick up from your work colleagues that can be really energizing. (Not that you shouldn’t work at home. I often do that myself. I’m just being realistic here about the downside.)

Have you considered talking about this with a therapist? A career counselor? Maybe both?

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
6 years ago

First off, Internet hugs to anyone who wants them. I hope all you lovely people can find livable solutions to your problems.
I went to the dentist yesterday and found out I’ll need a filling in anywhere from 6 months to 5 years. I have a pretty good tolerance for what little dental work* I’ve already had, so the filling itself shouldn’t be too bad, but the not knowing exactly when it’s coming is driving me nuts.
I’m probably gonna get my hair cut soon. Right now it looks basically the same as it does in my avatar-long layers and long, wispy bangs-and I want to keep my bangs but cut the rest to something like the photo at the top of this article. Any opinions?
http://www.tvequals.com/2010/11/08/marcia-gay-harden-chats-about-return-to-law-order-svu/

*I had braces for 2 years in middle school with no complications. I also had all my wisdom teeth extracted, and the only pain relief I needed was regular OTC ibuprofen.

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
6 years ago

@Brony
As a student, I can relate to the frustrating nature of unemployment. I’ve been looking for work for about a year, and the best I’ve gotten is that a few managers liked me but have hired another person and deferred me until their next round of hiring.
The only advice I can give is keep looking, keep talking to anyone you think might be able to help you find a job, and try to find ways to find money in the meantime. Even if all you can do is odd jobs for family and friends, you’re still working and earning money; and you can still cite it on your resume, using clever wording-for example, if you do housework you do every week for your grandma and she gives you $10 each time, you can put it on your resume as “light housekeeping”.

EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

@autosoma, it is really good to hear from you again. I had worried about you. We need to get that pint in sometime.

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

@autosoma
Echoing EJ (The Other One), I worried about you too. So glad you checked in with us again!

Axecalibur
Axecalibur
5 years ago

@Nikki
IAmNotAStylist, but I’ll give it a shot if I may

*Looks at Ms Harden*
*Looks at your avatar*
*Think, think, think. Imagine, imagine, imagine*

I see it. Both you and Marcia part over to the right, which helps the visualization. Good call on the bangs, cos you’re pulling them off. Shorter hair emphasizes bangs (especially the wispy kind) more, which I suggest is a good thing, pulling them off and all. I’m also digging the asymmetric look, but it’s cool either way. All in all, I say follow your instincts and go for it. However, I must repeat

IAmNotAStylist

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
5 years ago

@Axecalibur
Thanks! I think it’s a good move-with summer coming on it just feels like time for a change. I’ve had short hair before and know I look good with it, but if I grew out the bangs I’d probably end up with buyer’s remorse within like 10 seconds of the decision, so they’re definitely staying.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ brony

Sorry to hear about your job woes. I hope I’m not teaching you to suck eggs here as you’re probably aware of the idea that it’s easier to get a job from a job. So any sort of employment, even if it’s something you’re not actually interested in or utilises your skills, is a better jumping off point than unemployment.

It doesn’t even have to be paid work. Are there any voluntary organisations you could approach? You’ve probably got a lot more to offer than perhaps you think. You’re own personal experiences for instance instantly make you more qualified for a role with a body that helps people in the same boat.

Also

The only think that I seem to do well is argue with people

As a lawyer I can say that’s a great thing to have on a CV, if you phrase it right. Just call it advocacy or negotiation skills. There are lots of people with problems who would love someone like you taking up their cause and acting on their behalf. Do you for instance have the equivalent of Citizens Advice Bureaux near you? Or advocacy groups who act for people with mental health issues?

If you can get a foot in the door that way there’s a two fold benefit:

You’ve instantly got a current role on your CV.

You’ll meet people and encounter increased opportunities for further career developments.

Hope that hasn’t come across as too patronising, but maybe something to think about?

Sinkable John
Sinkable John
5 years ago

So in light of a recent and massive increase in my emotional difficulties, my psychologist advised me to 1) play video games, because those tend keep my mind off things and 2) actively avoid anything that could remind me of racism, sexism, and general bigotry, because daily contact with those seems to be a factor that actually puts me in an even shittier mood.

Didn’t find it in me to point out why I might have trouble following both parts of that advice at the same time, but at least I had a (politely repressed) laugh.

pitshade
pitshade
5 years ago

With the number of people here who suffer from depression, I have a question. I’ve been managing my own for a long time and it requires a lot of introspection. There are certain holes in my memory where facts should be, facts that would contradict the depression vreated narrative of my life. Specifically I’m thinking of a friend whose existence in my mind seems to be erased, except for the fact that another train of thought allows me to remember a conversation that I had with him. I know I have issues beyond just the depression, so I’m wondering if others have had similar experiences.

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

@Robert (who appears to have been stuck in moderation on page 2), I’m glad to hear some positive news about both your sons. We should all have parents as devoted as you & your husband.

Sympathy and best wishes to everyone in the thread.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw
I don’t know what Brony thinks about your advice, but it sounds good to me.

What advice would you give to a freelance editor and proofreader (books, magazines, theses, and so on) for getting more work? This person has good Word, Internet, and email skills but knows no other computer programs. This editor/proofreader is skilled and experienced, but the economy is volatile and so this individual is getting less work.

Asking for a friend.

Ha, ha, it’s me.

Also, if anybody else has an opinion, please chime in.

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