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Prostate Cancer Foundation to Reddit "fappers": We don't want your tainted money

Redditor conducts prostate research
Redditor conducts prostate research

A prostate cancer charity has returned $6000 to donors from Reddit because it doesn’t want to be associated with their toxic money. Chalk this up as another proud day for Reddit.

So here’s the story: With Reddit emerging, over the past several days, as one of the central distribution hubs for a vast cache of stolen nude pictures of assorted celebrities – including not only an adult Jennifer Lawrence but at least two celebs who were underage when their photos were taken – one Redditor thought he saw a way for the newly created TheFappening subreddit to spin itself as a public-minded enterprise rather than as a large-scale enabler of criminal activity: why not take a few minutes off from frantic masturbation to raise a few bucks for charity?

The charity chosen for this PR stunt was the Prostate Cancer Foundation – the joke being that Jennifer Lawrence is already supporting prostate health as the unwitting supplier of nude pics of herself, because masturbation can help to reduce prostate cancer. Hilarious. So one Redditor set up a page on the Prostate Cancer Foundation’s website in the name of TheFappening, to raise money in her “honor.”

In less than a day, the subreddit had raised $6000, which might sound impressive at first glance, but which sounds decidedly less so when you consider that TheFappening has signed up more than 100,000 subscribers and generated millions of page views since being founded only a few days ago. This was enough to get TheFappening listed as the top fundraiser on the PCF’s home page.

At least until the Foundation, not wanting to be used for propaganda purposes by a bunch of skeezy assholes, shut down TheFappening’s fundraising page and returned the tainted cash, declaring that “[w]e would never condone raising funds for cancer research in this manner.”

Naturally, Redditor’s fappers were outraged.

CaptainDogeSparrow 2356 points 18 hours ago*   So they rather watch people with cancer die than to take reddit money?  They are literally saying that Jennifer Lawrence is more important than cure for cancer.  Disgusting.  Edit: Source for OP's pic:  http://www.pcf.org/site/c.leJRIROrEpH/b.9200789/k.C50B/Prostate_Cancer_Foundation_Response_Statement_to_Reddit_Post.htm      permalink     save     report     give gold     reply  [–]BonsaiGoat 720 points 18 hours ago*   I would love it if JLaw herself called out this bullshit.      permalink     save     parent     report     give gold     reply  [–]Jon_Snows_Dad 561 points 18 hours ago   I am willing to guarantee she won't say anything.      permalink     save     parent     report     give gold     reply  [–]mm1234565 400 points 18 hours ago   Yeah despite Reddit's infatuation with the woman they think is just like them, she's as fake-realperson PR-trained celebrified as they come.      permalink     save     parent     report     give gold     reply  [–]krazykellen 253 points 17 hours ago   Tits are real and that's what matters here.

Meanwhile, another Redditor put up a petition on Change.org begging the CEO of the Breast Cancer Research Foundation to take their money:

Our donations were refused due that it was being raised in an inappropiate manner. Which is not the case. We wanted to give back and are willing to donate if you will let us. We want consent so we are not wasting our time. Even though the donations were first formed out of humor the number of donations kept coming in and were about to trend even more. This is due to us wanting to show the community that we care and will put our money where our mouths are. So please “TAKE OUR MONEY!!!”.

The top comment on the petition page:

 Bobby Guzman WEST COVINA, CA      about 12 hours ago     Liked 1  So that JLaws TaTas may rest peacefully.

Oh, Redditors, will you ever understand how terrible you are? There are things worth more than your $6000. Like, for example, not being associated with your bullshit. Indeed, had the Foundation taken the money, the resulting PR disaster of being connected with you assholes would have likely cost them a lot more than $6000 in donations. As it stands, the Foundation’s reputation remains intact, and it’s likely to get some extra donations for taking a principled stand.

Indeed, if you would like to donate to the foundation to help fund prostate cancer research and reward the charity for its stand, the donation page is here.

Over on TheFappening, some of the regulars decided to move on to a new charity, Water.org, which has also reportedly refused their money.

But before Water.org caught on to what the Redditors were doing, the “fappers” celebrated the fact that an anonymous Redditor was briefly honored as a “featured donor” on Water.org’s website. One Redditor posted this meme, with the comment “that’s right buddy.”

waterfrom

Naturally, other Redditors responded to the meme with masturbation jokes:

kli561 85 points 14 hours ago   And theres more where thats cumming from      permalink     save     parent     report     give gold     reply  [–]Liquid_paper_lies 19 points 10 hours ago   Let's milk it for all we got      permalink     save     parent     report     give gold     reply  [–]Happy_Shopper 3 points 3 hours ago   That's a stroke of genius

Elsewhere in the same thread, other TheFappening regulars joked about the fact that the pictures they were all “fapping” to together included actual child porn. After one “fapper” noted that the anonymous Redditor’s donation was bigger than the donation of another “featured donor,
” a “little girl,” this edifying discussion ensued:

Fappers_Delights 24 points 14 hours ago   That girl doesn't look so little, lol. Easily at least a teenager.      permalink     save     parent     report     give gold     reply  [–]runealex007 37 points 11 hours ago   Good enough for me      permalink     save     parent     report     give gold     reply  [–]runs_and_chews_gum 11 points 11 hours ago   nope.      permalink     save     parent     report     give gold     reply  [–]13abie 15 points 7 hours ago   She donated before she was 18. They need to remove it.

Reddit: where the terrible meet to celebrate one another’s terribleness.

[EDIT: I updated several paragraphs about Water.org to acknowledge that the charity is now reportedly refusing money from Reddit’s fappers, and added a link to PCF’s donation page.]

[EDIT 2: I corrected the bit about the petition, which is directed at the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, not the Prostate Cancer Foundation.]

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Aylin
Aylin
7 years ago

I think I’m gonna be sick. Ugh.

estraven
estraven
7 years ago

I second that, Aylin. ugh.

athorist
7 years ago

“We want consent…” Stop. Think for a minute about what you just wrote.

(heads all the desks)

jbgarner58
7 years ago

Kudos to the PCF for taking a principled stand and boo on the fappers for being, well, what they are.

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
7 years ago

Slight correction: the change.org petition is asking for a breast cancer org to take the money that the PCF wouldn’t take. Hence all the “tatas” comments. Stay classy, Reddit.

Sarah
Sarah
7 years ago

This is so gross. Good on the PCF, although that’s not to say that water.org is wrong for taking their money; as a volunteer for a non-profit myself, I can certainly understand the position that money is money.

Malitia
Malitia
7 years ago

This is disgusting… I think I’ll skip dinner. :/

Gaston
Gaston
7 years ago

Aces when real world rejection drops on anon internet shitheads

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
7 years ago

So, is this the official stance of Reddit: “Yes, we will help men (and only men*), but only if it happens at the expense of a woman.”

But they’re certainly not misogynists, oh no.

*Transpeople and non-binary people still don’t exist in asshole land, in case you were wondering.

opium4themasses
7 years ago

I love puns, but their power must be used for good!

On that note, what a bunch of wankers.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

If I ever need to induce vomiting, I’ll just pop over to Reddit. They’re better than syrup of ipecac for making people nauseous.

daintydougal
7 years ago

‘What do you mean you wont accept money from Evil Crime Syndicate?! How dare you disrespect my rights!’

daintydougal
7 years ago

Also, HA! FUCKING SERVES THEM RIGHT! THOUGHT THEY WERE BEING SO SNEAKY AND LIVING IN A CONSEQUENCE FREE WORLD! IT TAKES A CHARITY TO TEL THEM NO?! REDONKS.
http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140306235947/clubpenguinpookie/images/3/32/Grumpy_Cat_Good.jpg

Lee
Lee
7 years ago

Lea: Indeed, my first thought on upon seeing this was that old “I Barf’d” cat macro. 😐

Alais
7 years ago

Oh, poor redditors over at the Fappening. The PCF won’t take their donations and make them feel better about their decision to host illegally obtained photos of naked, celebrities, some of whom are underage. How will they ever convince themselves that what they’re doing is noble and just now?

Shaenon
7 years ago

Anyone want to start up a collection for the Prostate Cancer Foundation to make up for the hit they’re taking for their principled stand?

Misha
Misha
7 years ago

“A charity thinks we’re so repugnant they won’t even accept our money. The fault must lie … with the charity”. Arse-Backwards Land – not even fun for a holiday.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
7 years ago

It’s bad enough that they’re disseminating illegally obtained nude photos without consent, but what’s really weird is that they are also demanding legitimacy and respect and turning the whole thing into a Cause.

ikanreed
ikanreed
7 years ago

“VALIDATE MY UNETHICAL CRIMINAL ACTIVITY, YOU FUCKING CHARITY ASSHOLES”

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

Well, that’s ironic. Water.org provides access to safe, unpolluted water, while Redditors spend their days pooping in the internet and making everyone sick.

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

Anarchonist:

So, is this the official stance of Reddit: “Yes, we will help men (and only men*), but only if it happens at the expense of a woman.”

Yep, pretty much. These are really horrible people.

They are literally saying that Jennifer Lawrence is more important than cure for cancer

No. No, they’re not. They’re saying that, as an above-the-board charity, they will not accept donations made in the name of stolen nude pictures of underage actresses. That is what they are saying. You redditors, on the other hand, are trying to turn this into a case of “people dying from cancer” rather than what it really is: redditors posting stolen nude pictures of underage actresses.

I really don’t know how they can get any worse.

Kevin K
Kevin K
7 years ago

Please tell me these are all 13-year-old boys. Please?

AcidTrial
AcidTrial
7 years ago

I would think that the point where you say to someone, “Here, take my money for free.” and they reply “No, because you’re horrible.” is the point where you should go home and think about your life decisions.

Kevin K
Kevin K
7 years ago

Let me expand on that…if I were an employer and I discovered that one of my male employees were engaging in this behavior, he’d be out the door so fast his head would spin.

I’m talking “call security and escort him out the door” fast. As well as “confiscate his work computer and seal his office” fast. Including “your personal belongings will be shipped to you with your last paycheck, minus expenses if we find porn on your computer/in your office” fast. And “there better not be child porn here, because if there is, we’re calling the cops” fast.

How can these guys possibly think that what they are doing is even remotely acceptable in any society? Polite or otherwise?

I get that young teens don’t exactly have a fully working moral/ethical system, especially with regards to their self-pleasuring routines — but anyone older than about 16 should know better. And if you have resources to donate to a charity, well, that implies you acknowledge that what you’re doing is the moral equivalent of peeking under bathroom stalls. And that you’re darn well old enough to know to not engage in such behavior.

A Wolverine
A Wolverine
7 years ago

I can’t help but laugh at the fact that moot (guy who runs 4chan) and the mod team are handling this shit better than Reddit by banning anyone who posts the leaked images and implementing a DCMA take down process to deal with this sort of shit in the future.

(Now if he’d start purging the gross racists and sexists from the non-gulag boards it would be great)

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