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Are Men's Rights Activists planning to raise an army of goat men?

The results are in, and you ARE the father!
The results are in, and you ARE the father!

So there’s a hilariously alarmist post in the Men’s Rights subreddit at the moment in which one concerned MRA called aegorrivers offers his ideas on How to avoid paternity fraud and toxic relationships in general while still reproducing.

The post starts off with a lot of nonsense about allegedly rampant paternity fraud – indeed, it’s such clear nonsense that even a few MRAs feel obliged to correct him in the comments – and then moves on to describe just how terrible life is for men who (horror of horrors!) find themselves in relationships with women:

On top of this, relationships in general seem to be a problem for men, as men are routinely arrested over false domestic violence and rape claims, even when they are the ones being beaten and raped. Divorce courts are heavily biased in favor of women, and men usually lose custody, end up paying alimony and child support, are thrown in jail with serial killers and rapists and are left to be raped by the inmates if they cannot pay.

He concludes that the only reason men are willing to put up with all this is that

women are the gatekeepers to reproduction. This is the key power that women have always had over men, and they will continue to have it as long as we continue to allow ourselves to suffer just to maybe have the chance to reproduce (assuming she doesn’t cuckold you).

Weird. For a bunch of guys whose only interest in women allegedly stems from a desire to make little copies of themselves, (straight, cis) Men’s Rights Redditors sure spend a lot of time trying to figure out how not to pay for or indeed have anything to do with any children that might result from their (ugh) amorous adventures.

Be that as it may, aegorrivers has a solution: Hire a cheap surrogate mom in India!

With this reproductive strategy, you not only avoid all of the hazards of relationships and divorce, but also can guarantee that the child is your own child (put a condition in the contract that says that all payments are on the condition of a positive paternity test), get your pick of the litter in terms of attractiveness and intelligence (just pick an awesome egg donor!), have no problems with mothers trying to alienate your children as the mothers will have no right to them (some states do try to pull shenanigans on this one, but just don’t hire a woman in that state and go to other states to create economic pressure on the states that do this).

But it’s the next part that really got my attention. Emphasis added:

There is even research that is currently attempting to develop an artificial womb. This has succeeded with goats. (http://abcnews.go.com/US/straight-single-men-wanting-kids-turn-surrogacy/story?id=16520916). Perhaps in the future, we won’t even need surrogate mothers.

Goats? That’s right. You heard it here first: MRAs are planning on raising an army of goat children, hideous monsters that are half-MRA, half goat.

And aegorrivers, like some MRA Dr. Moreau, wants to be in the thick of it:

I also will be supporting the artificial womb research by attempting to pursue a PhD in a lab that does this work. I encourage all MRAs to pursue STEM degrees and do this as well. …

This has lifted a great weight off of my shoulders. I no longer feel as much pressure to conform to society and don’t feel as bad about not being able to attract women. I think this might be the key to ripping their power away from them.

Clearly, feminists need to come up with a way to counter the coming MRA man-goat apocalypse.

Might I suggest … Catpeople?

cat-people-vintage-movie-poster-hires-www.freevintageposters.com_ThRFjZzK0tumblr_lfyrairPip1qay0z6o1_500tumblr_m46gskahym1qlx3eto1_5008109263511_71f3300849catwomancatwomanheadswap

 

NOTE: Thanks to the AgainstMensRights subreddit for highlighting aegorrivers’ post, though the AMRers don’t seem to have realized the full implications of his argument.
NOTE TO EXTREMELY LITERAL MRAs: I’m aware that aegorrivers is not literally advocating raising an army of goat children. I am pretending that I have misconstrued his already silly argument for comedic effect. Likewise, I am not literally advocating that feminists start breeding an army of human-cat hybrids.

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theladyzombie
7 years ago

I know that some MRAs are really into the idea of sexbots and artificial wombs. But goats? That’s a new one.

drowninginlimbo
drowninginlimbo
7 years ago

If you look at this high quality source, you will see that we have always been half man, half goat: http://www.theonion.com/articles/anthropologists-trace-human-origins-back-to-one-la,19191/

Proven wrong once again by science, Futrelle!

Medusa Jordan
7 years ago

Priceless!

The MRA’s do realise that if they have children without women they will need to look after them themselves?! Or maybe they will just have their mothers as FT babysitters, as most of the single dads I have known have done. But if they do that their children will be infected with XX cooties.

steampunked (@steampunked)

Medusa – I think it’s another (eternal) resurrection of the trope: Parenting takes zero effort and stay at home parents lie around eating bon bons all day.

I’m not sure what on earth they would do the first time they experienced over a week of zero sleep with a crying child with colic, but I imagine it wouldn’t be pretty.

Kim
Kim
7 years ago

@Medusa

My first thought as well – including them thinking their own mothers would do the baby-raising for them. They never give the impression that they realise kids are actually people. I mean, if they have a kid – they have to care about another person – the horror!

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
7 years ago

Goats? That’s right. You heard it here first: MRAs are planning on raising an army of goat children, hideous monsters that are half-MRA, half goat.

Er, David –

http://consciousnewsmedia.blogspot.co.nz/2013/11/the-artificial-womb-is-born-and-world.html#.U8xRkdh4V8E

We’re talking about the early days of an artificial organ here. Yes, it has so far been tested on goat fetuses. And yeah, it’s really early days. But the basic idea may be used to extend the survival of premature babies and may even lead to a totally artificial gestation.

Dialysis was developed using guinea pigs and rabbits – does that mean that anyone strapped to a dialysis machine is half rodent? Researchers were transplanting hearts in dogs in the 1950s – does that mean anyone with a heart transplant now is half canine? And heart-lung transplants were developed using monkeys – does that mean people with them are half chimp?

Artificial wombs could be a useful medical technology – just as heart transplants or dialysis machines are now.

I’m not commenting on the fapping of the MRAs ecstatic at the vision of the icky guuurls going away. But your riff on it is pretty stupid.

Dire Sloth
Dire Sloth
7 years ago

What are you all on about? Parenting is so easy even a lowly feeeemale could do it, clearly the superior scientific minds that bring us artifical goat wombs can streamline the rest of the process immensely.

Ugh, this just reads like a rehash of the dumb fembot thing they’re always on about.

loganbacon
loganbacon
7 years ago

I don’t think the white supremacist arm of the MRM will go for the idea of Indian women as egg donors/surrogates – they’ll have to wait for the artificial wombs. I’m betting they’ll be expecting their mommies to provide free day care, since they don’t want to pay child support.

Woody
Woody
7 years ago

This post is ridiculous. Dspite your little disclaimer, you’re basing an entire post off purposefully misreading someone else.

steampunked (@steampunked)

I kind of like the fembot concept – keeps them at home and away from the rest of society. They’re possibly even happy, which would be nice. But, mostly, I don’t think they realise you can’t outsource all of a child’s care and expect the child to bond to you as a caregiver.

In some ways, the good old Fred Phelps church holds a lot of MRA talking points about women and life in general as religious doctrine – and the recovering adult children come out of that speaking like veterans with PTSD. I can’t imagine this would go much better.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
7 years ago

Yes, Woody, but what would happen to all the plywood that was left over? Did you even think of that?

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
7 years ago

Jokes: Woody gets them.

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
7 years ago

Shut up, Woody.

If he wants the “pick of the litter”, I recommend a puppy although I don’t think any living thing should be saddled such an asshole.

In addition, make sure that you join the fight to allow gay men hire surrogate mothers for their children, as this will also benefit you by making surrogacy acceptable. It also has a bonus side effect of making feminists look bad for campaigning to destroy “homosexual genes”.

Projection?

duckbunny
7 years ago

“Despite your claim to be basing this entire post off purposefully misreading someone, you are basing this entire post off purposefully misreading someone.”

Thanks for the insight, Woody.

opium4themasses
7 years ago

I feel this is obligatory.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
7 years ago

I think they might have some idea that they’ll only have to do the fun parts of parenthood — playing ball and teaching bike riding and putting good report cards on the fridge with magnets. Midnight trips to the hospital, endless nappies, cleaning play-doh out of your dvd player? Not so much.

steampunked (@steampunked)

This post is ridiculous. Dspite your little disclaimer, you’re basing an entire post off purposefully misreading someone else.

I’m not sure how to read the quotes by aegorrivers, but am happy to be enlightened as to how his whole approach isn’t weirdly ridiculous. Paternity fraud and being ripped off in divorce just aren’t that common – while they can presumably happen, we know from such misandry-supporting groups such as statistical Bureaus that only 4% of child custody arrangements in the US go to trial. And in that case, a higher proportion of custody is awarded to men than when there is mediation.

Hyena Girl
7 years ago

Shut up Woody.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Goats? That’s right. You heard it here first: MRAs are planning on raising an army of goat children, hideous monsters that are half-MRA, half goat.

Wait, how would we tell the difference between them and the MRAs we have now?

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
7 years ago

@ cassandrakitty — they’d have chin-beards instead of neck-beards?

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

BTW, welcome LoganBacon and LoganBacon’s incredibly cute dog!

(Points at icon)

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

Maybe it would make them cuter, in which case I’m all for it.

(The MRAs, I mean – it would definitely not make the goats cuter.)

Karalora
Karalora
7 years ago

An admixture of goat DNA could only improve the breed. Goats are quite smart, and some types are really cute.

On the other hand, goat-men are satyrs, who are obsessed with sex and completely unconcerned with consent, so are we sure MRAs didn’t do this a long time ago?

Karalora
Karalora
7 years ago

Ninja’ed by cassandrakitty!

tiko72
tiko72
7 years ago

Woody,it’s your comment that’s ridiculous

you’re basing an entire post off purposefully misreading someone else.

Yes that’s right woody,it’s called mocking.Hence the disclaimer because there is bound to be one of your lot that will take the last part literally.

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