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I am making a joke shit that never happened

The Man Boobz Street Team sprays the world!

Posters are so last century, Daddy-o! What’s happening today is GRAFFITI. And so the Man Boobz Street Team — with boots on the ground on all nine continents except Iceland, which isn’t even really a continent anyway — has decided to retool its approach, abandoning its previous massively successful postering scheme in favor of spray paint and spontaneity.

Unfortunately, to be honest, the new strategy has not been altogether successful as of yet. While the energy is there, some of the Street Team have had trouble staying on message.

So here I will examine some of the Street Team’s graffiti activism and point out what works —  and what doesn’t. Let’s start with this one, from the Street Team in Sao Paulo, Brazil:

I’ll give this one an “A” for effort, but only a “B-” for execution. If you want to advertise Man Boobz, remember to include the “Man” and to spell “Boobz” with a z!  And the drawing of the Man Boobz mammoth logo on the right is a little too abstract for my taste. I’m not even sure what’s supposed to be the trunk! Try harder, Sao Paulo Boobz Team!

This next one, from Killkenny, Ireland, is perhaps too subtle for its own good:

I understand what you were getting at, Killkenny Street Team, but not everyone is going to pick up that this is a parody of a typical discussion on Reddit. Maybe next time include some up and down arrows next to the comment so people will clue in to where it’s supposed to be from?

This next one, however, is excellent:

Good job standing up for the rights of an innocent man, Mumbai Street Team!

This one, contributed by the McMurdo Station, Antarctica, “Snow Team” is thoughtful and well-meaning; unfortunately, it contains no reference to Man Boobz or misogyny or any of the issues regularly touched upon on this blog.

While we are on this particular theme, I would like to point out that this next one, from the Hump Mountain, North Carolina Street Team is inexcusable, and definitely off-message:

I would like to reiterate that the Official Man Boobz position on this important issue is that one should ALWAYS wipe, unless a bidet is available. This “rogue” graffiti will definitely be discussed on the upcoming Street Team Skype call!

But let me end on a high note. Congratulations, Kuala Lumpur Street Team, for this excellent work:

Satin can indeed be an attractive and comfortable material to work with, if handled with the appropriate subtlety.

NOTE: The Man Boobz Street Team is imaginary.

São Paulo

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Freitag
Freitag
10 years ago

Not if you’re a cat owner! Then it should hang in back, otherwise kitteh will unroll and shred.

Freitag
Freitag
10 years ago

The dangers of toilet paper hanging in front:

TheNatFantastic
10 years ago

BoyFantastic and I are forever having spats about things like this (see also: where things live in the cutlery drawer, episodes I-XII). Anyway, now we have a toilet roll holder where the roll goes sideways, thus probably saving our relationship.

I used to have a housemate where every time one of us went to the bathroom we’d switch which way the roll faced. Turns out we were both a lot more stubborn than we thought.

ShadetheDruid
10 years ago

YOU ARE ALL MONSTERS.

Clearly the answer is not to have a toilet roll holder at all!

(My family started redecorating our toilet room years ago.. it’s mostly done now, but we haven’t had a functional toilet roll holder since it started 😛 ).

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
10 years ago

Toilet paper is for sissies. Manly men would use newspaper, or tree bark, or a re-usable communal sponge on a stick. Buncha manginas.

Freitag
Freitag
10 years ago

Toilet paper for manly men:

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
10 years ago

Toilet paper should hang in back! Always and forever! Especially if the holder is on a panel that shreds paper hung in front. 😛

magpie
10 years ago

Toilet paper should hang in front! Otherwise hunstman spiders hide behind it. 🙂

katz
10 years ago

Toilet paper should hang in front! Otherwise hunstman spiders hide behind it.

If I were to read that to my husband, he would never wipe his ass again.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

Toilet paper should hang in front! Otherwise hunstman spiders hide behind it.

And this is why I will never live in Australia.

lowquacks
lowquacks
10 years ago

I’ve actually only ever seen a white-tip spider hide behind toilet paper, and that was toilet paper hung the correct way (over). It was hiding on the back of the hanging sheet.

tcwill00
tcwill00
10 years ago

Toilet paper should hang in front! Otherwise hunstman spiders hide behind it.

I’ve actually only ever seen a white-tip spider hide behind toilet paper, and that was toilet paper hung the correct way (over). It was hiding on the back of the hanging sheet.

Who, me? NO I DON’T HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ASKING THOUGH

Magpie
Magpie
10 years ago

On the plus side, at least you know the hiding spider is smaller than a sheet of toilet paper. 😉

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
10 years ago

A white-tail on the paper?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Had any in the house yet, Magpie, lowquacks? I’ve seen what I think were two young ones of the rotten things. Haven’t had any huntsmen yet this season.

True huntsman story: in the house on my own, sitting on dunny, see one appear over the doorway. This being a few minutes before I had to get the train to work, too. Fucking rotten things! I know they aren’t dangerous but the don’t have to be, they give a whole new meaning to ‘if looks could kill’!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
10 years ago

‘they don’t have to be’. Proofread fail.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

I am never going to Australia. Too many poisonous things.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
10 years ago

Though not as many in the south as Bill Bryson would have one believe! 😀

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

I’m pretty sure that huntsman spiders can kill. Heart attacks are often fatal, and that’s what I’d have if I spotted one while I was sitting on the toilet.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
10 years ago

LOL good point, CassandraSays, good point!

My sister was with friends up in Queensland recently, and they had a huntsman crawling around on the dash while driving and didn’t stop to get rid of it

Magpie
Magpie
10 years ago

Did you see the bit on the news where they are asking people to collect funnel webs cause they are running out of venom? (to make antivenom)

My dear old dad half woke one night and swiped his hand across his face, dislodging somethig that felt like twigs. He had a lump on his forehead about and inch across in the morning – huntsman bite. On his face! While sleeping! In his own bed! Aaaaargh!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
10 years ago

My mental image of a huntsman on someone’s face looks like the facehugger from Alien.

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