I’ve never understood the whole “toilet-seat, up or down, debate.” Let me put that more precisely: I’ve never understood why people talk about it as if it were some kind of real live issue in our society. Are there really men and women who argue over this? I don’t think I’ve ever even had a conversation about proper toilet seat etiquette, much less gotten into an argument over it. (Or perhaps I have, but have simply forgotten it because it‘s so fucking boring.) Over the course of my life, I’ve probably spent less time thinking consciously about the issue than I’ve spent writing this paragraph.
That’s clearly not the case with our good friend MarkyMark, a somewhat excitable MGTOWer who (wholly unintentionally) provides this blog with choice material on a semi-regular basis. He must get into arguments about toilet seats all the time, judging from the long screed he posted yesterday on the topic of “what the toilet seat says about women.” Apparently, the fact that some women complain about men leaving the seat up – I’ll have to take his word on this, as I don’t think I’ve ever encountered it in my life – is evidence that women are foul, selfish creatures indeed. As he puts it, laying forth his basic thesis:
The toilet seat is living proof that women will complain about anything and everything. The toilet seat shows us that women cannot and will not accept responsibility for themselves. The toilet seat shows us that women have no perspective about anything. The toilet seat is living proof of the eternal solipsism of the female mind. The toilet seat provides empirical evidence that, no matter what or how much they get, women will never be happy. Finally, the toilet seat shows us that women are spoiled, entitled brats. …
The toilet seat shows us what women are REALLY like, and it ain’t sugar and spice and everything nice.
So distressed is poor Marky at the thought of women demanding that the seat be lowered that he’s driven to reconsider the very idea of universal suffrage:
You know what’s sobering? We gave these creatures the right to vote! Yes, that’s right; we gave these childish, immature, spoiled brats the right to decide who has power over us, to decide OUR futures. With the way women handle the toilet seat issue and what it says about them, is it any wonder why they were denied the vote?!
If this were someone other than MarkyMark, I would probably consider this a joke, or satire, or some sort of reductio ad absurdum. But as far as I have been able to determine, MarkyMark does not in fact have a sense of humor; this is a guy, after all, who once wrote a point-by-point “rebuttal” of an article in The Onion.
Presumably at some point in the future Marky will take on the other pressing bathroom-related issue that bedevils the men of the world:
Why do women always go to the bathroom together? Are they lesbians? Are they plotting something? Or … both?