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The MAGAs are a little confused by the squalid breakup of Trump and Musk. They don’t know what to do or who to root for, necessarily, though most seem to have picked a side. But there’s one thing they can all agree on: it’s all very manly. At least when it comes to the guy they’re rooting for.
Over on X, they’re doing their best to xeet through it.
Poso here bravely stands up for both of them.
It’s true. In the past, real men dueled not with guns or swords but with mean little postings on the social media platforms that they owned.
Or maybe they did do it with swords? I don’t really understand this next xeet, but clearly what’s going on between these two high agency males is extremely masculine.
Seriously, it’s very extremely masculine. Divine, even.
Naturally, there is talk of balls.
Rather a lot of talk of balls, really. And dicks. And sucking dicks, which they evidently think is a bad thing?
They’re kind of obsessed with balls. And sucking.
This guy manages to work some transphobia into his discussion of dick and balls and sucking.
But don’t worry! Both Musk and Trump are REAL MEN. Or maybe just one of them is. Depending on who you ask.
Truly there is nothing more brave than walking around in a vast sea of bodyguards.
I mean, honestly, both of these guys have testosterone coming out the wazoo. (They should probably get that looked at.)
Honestly, all this talk of testosterone and testicular fortitude and phallocentric high-agency males is making me a little lightheaded. I think I’m going to go lie down for a while. LIKE A REAL MAN!
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For an opposing viewpoint, presenting this take from AO3:
Took the Whole Damn Planet in the Divorce, by Cloves_and_Cinnamon
Summary:
Notes:
“Musky how could you do this to me” Donald cried over the phone. “my career is ruined. I thought it was us against the world.”
“Its just business Don. I got you elected so that you could help me. Instead you tried to cut me out of billions while my sales are in the dump. They’re calling my cars Nazi mobiles! I was very subtle in my dog whistles, you turned them all against me. This is payback.”
“but, but I told you about the Epstein files in confidence.”
“Please, that secret is as open as your first marriage” Elon spat back.
Donald sniffed. “I could, I could tell them about us. I could destroy both of our careers. You’d like that wouldn’t you. Destroy us”
“You’d just be known as the most recent in a long line of breeding bitches. That is, if anyone believed you. Besides. I have blatent evidence of election fraud, if you really want to go nuclear”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh but I would. You see, what do I have to lose anymore. You take my companies my fame, my charm, my creadibility. You’ve destroyed the whole geopolitical system in this mess. All I have left is to destroy you. And then I’ll pick up my life go somewhere far far away. Farther then South Africa. I’ll go to Mars. They think I’m crazy, but I’ll show them crazy! I’ve built better spaceships on a bender then they’ll ever build in their pathetic lives!
“I’ll find something, something to make you regret being so mean. I’ll incite the Patriot Act. Say you’re being a communist conspirator. Throw you in federal prison”
“Damn the Patriot Act do you think I give a shit.”
“I’ll, I’ll deport you” Trump sniveled.
“Sure you will. TACO you never” *click*
Reprinted with permission; source: https://archiveofourown.org/works/66226519
I get the impression that all those semi-literate Tweeters regard themselves as “pro man” but their idea of what a man is is deeply insulting. To them, a man is just a loudmouthed bully with the IQ of an angry pudding.
That’s an insult to angry puddings. Meanwhile,
But of course. <rolls eyes>
BTW, is the next screenshot after that supposed to say “not found” or is the screenshot itself not found?
It’s just making this particular lesbian bored. I’m sure though that Natalya from Goldeneye would have some choice words for them. Something about boys and their toys maybe.
Reality TV bullshit, where the loudest most belligerent asshole wins
It absolutely cracks me up seeing these people insisting that this is just how Real High Testosterone Manly Men™ behave when if anything this whole thing most strongly resembles the behaviour of prepubescent schoolboys. In any normal context a grown man acting like this would be seen as a total laughing stock, and I almost wonder if, deep down, the Trump/Musk fandom knows this and is desperately trying to convince themselves otherwise more than persuading anyone else.
On a semi-related note regarding the pictures at the top of this article, I think someone needs to really do an in-depth study on why AI “art” has pretty much become the official aesthetic of modern fascism. There’s the obvious ideological stuff – the far-right cult of action’s innate suspicion and contempt for artists, and desire for the superficial end products of culture without the introspection inherent to its human creators – but at the same time I think there’s something else weirdly pathological going on with the specific forms it takes, especially when it comes to the absolute obsession these people have with AI-generated images of Trump and Musk as ludicrously-muscled to the point where Rob Liefeld would say it was going a bit far. You have to wonder if at some level, beyond the pure difficulty of finding any competent artist who’d be willing to produce this kind of material, they know that even if they did find such a person that person would almost certainly be laughing at it behind their backs, or at the very least would be unlikely to view it with the kind of reverence they clearly expect. An argument could be made that it’s basically the art equivalent of the sexbot fantasy, where the driving force is the desire for not just unfettered access to a thing they want without any level of internality that could lead to even private dissent.
@Pope of Discord:
Jhonen Vazquez’ Liefeld parodies Schlong and Lady Sexhole come irresistibly to mind: http://preview.redd.it/nlsqppcebop71.png?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=b1e9293368641fa292703f650aa13c1626155751
So does Trey Parker’s paean to Manly Manhood:
Is it just me, or does Musk look constipated in that illustration?
@ Full Metal Ox
How about this:
Hey!
What makes a man, is it the pen in his tiny hands?
Is it his quest for glory?
Scream on X all you got, pissing contest to the top,
So we know your story.
@ Victorious Parasol
Something about it really is off. I think it is because even though Trump doesn’t have that build, he does have that mass. AI Musk there is just outlandish and falls into the uncanny valley more
@ .45
It’s quite unnerving to try to imagine what was the evolutionary driver that made us scared of something that looks almost identical to us, but isn’t us.
@Pope of Discord:
It may be that it allows them to conjure up actual pictures of the conservative alternate reality that they desperately wish was real.
@Alan Robertshaw:
That would likely have been one or both of the following:
@Victorious Parasol:
Is it just me, or does Musk look constipated in that illustration?
@.45:
Something about it really is off. I think it is because even though Trump doesn’t have that build, he does have that mass. AI Musk there is just outlandish and falls into the uncanny valley more.
I think part of the problem with ChadGPT! Musk is that his bulging pectorals and eight-pack are three isolated ovals mounded upon a completely smooth surrounding thorax, making them look like molded plastic attachments. His markedly asymmetrical face, somehow managing to be sullen on the right and outraged on the left, isn’t helping. Trump’s AI muscular chrome at least seems to be all of a piece, although the barbed-wire veins remind me of Marshall Law from 2000 AD comics (who, like his stablemate Judge Dredd, was intended as a grotesque caricature of toxic masculinity.)