By David Futrelle
Why do human beings go to war against one another? It’s a question that’s been around as long as civilization itself, and perhaps longer. Happily, we now have an answer, and it comes from YouTube: According to Sandman, a popular MGTOW YouTuber, it’s all about men’s love of female butts — and the desire not to get nagged by the women attached to these butts. And also men’s desire to rape women from other countries. And then there’s something about killer robots.
It’s not a very coherent argument, frankly.
Sandman begins his 2000-word tirade on the evils of female booty by positing a uniquely ahistorical theory of war as a way to avoid nagging from the ladies. “I believe,” he begins,
that the majority of wars are actually fought because it’s really women’s nagging and never ending demands to creature comforts that light that spark. … My theory is that this is done so women stop nagging them long enough to get some peace and quiet.
So throw away all those history books purporting to explain the causes of war. Forget Archduke Franz Ferdinand’s unhappy demise. War is all about getting women shoes and fur coats so they’ll stop with all the yapping.
You may find yourself asking: if war is all about getting things, don’t men want things too? According to Sandman, not really. While women clamor for “shoes, coats, hats, purses, vacations on the beach” and other fancy swag,
most guys out there don’t really want all that much in their lives. They don’t need a giant mansion and fancy cars. The reason many them purchase those things is because it attracts the best possible women to them. …
I would wager that the majority of male consumer spending is on sporting events and video games. Those are things that take up very little actual resources to produce. Computer code is cheap to replicate and so is the television signal you get beamed to your house with the big game in it.
Just FYI, video games are expected to generate $152.1 billion in revenues this year; the net worth of the NFL, by itself, is nearly $75 billion. But yeah, men don’t spend money on themselves; they just give it to women so they’ll stop nagging.
After delivering this definitive explanation for war, you might expect Sandman himself to shut up. What more is there to say? Apparently quite a bit. Because, as it turns out, Sandman doesn’t just have a theory of war; he’s got several theories all smushed together into one giant ball of bullshit.
In addition to showing their “love of women” by giving their wives and girlfriends fancy shit to shut them up, Sandman argues, men also demonstrate this love by … raping other men’s wives.
[T]hroughout history, men would be sent to war with the promise of being able to rape the other side’s women. And in a time of ancient Greece and Rome, they were able to take those women home from those men that they conquered and turn them into sexy slave girls. Warfare was all about taking the enemy’s riches and giving them to your wife while taking advantage of the enemy’s wife …
The love of women drives men to do unspeakable things for the desire to reproduce.
I’m pretty sure raping women doesn’t have much to do with love.
Oh, but Sandman isn’t done yet. Sandman winds up his incoherent mess of a video with a strange fantasy about a dystopian near-future in which the women of the world have somehow come into possession of killer robots.
Yes, I’m serious, and so, evidently, is he.
[W]omen keep saying that if they ruled the world, there would be no wars. But in reality, if they ruled the world and had robotic armies, they would be more wars than ever.
As women use technology to fight and conquer peoples in other countries so they could strip them of their resources and for what? So they could expand their shoe collections? …
[T]hat scenario is coming and if women are increasingly killing their own newborn babies and getting away with it in the courts, do you really think that women in the future that start World War Tampon are going to have to face any kind of war crimes for whatever they do … ?
World War Tampon.
We’re talking about handing over weapons of robotic destruction to the more irrational and emotional side of the species.
Well, to be fair, you’re talking about this. I don’t think anyone else is.
What do you think is going to happen if she’s having a rough period that week? Men’s love for women means that we will be willing to hand over the keys to our own robotic destruction to the women that we love.
Right now the only robots killing people are self-driving cars.
We gave women the vote and they helped vote in socialism into the West. … We wanted women to be equal, so we opened the entire workforce to women. And as a result, men’s salaries are no longer enough to purchase the most basic place to live as a single man in a big city. …
Now we’re going to hand over robotic weapons of mass destruction. … If you’re listening to this in 2030 than you are the resistance. Except you’ll be fighting against estrogen controlled killer robots instead of A.I. … You don’t see her face as she decapitates you with her remotely controlled TV 800. …
It’s our love for them that will actually be our downfall.
Well, ok then.
Sandman’s videos — and not just this one — are as bizarre and nonsensical as any Reddit MGTOW rando. But he’s got a smooth if weirdly chipper voice and a surprisingly large audience. His typical videos get tens of thousands of views apiece, with his most popular videos coming close to a million views, and he’s been churning them out since 2013. In total, according to YouTube, his videos have gotten more than 80 million views. 80 million.
This is the sort of propaganda that millions of YouTube viewers are feeding themselves on a regular basis, which is, I have to say, even more depressing than the thought of imaginary robots cutting off my head.
H/T — Thanks to @TakedownMRAs on Twitter for highlighting this video.
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