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>Ten years, ladies. Then the sexy lady robots will make you obsolete.

>

Ladies: Here is your nemesis.

Too much bad news on this blog of late. So today I bring you some truly good news for modern man. Not so much for the ladies, though. Apparently you gals are on the verge of becoming obsolete.

Or so says the fellow calling himself PatRiarchy — clever! — one of the unwitting contestants in Feministe’s Next Top Troll contest. Yep, flesh-and-blood ladies, watch out, because sexy lady robots are on the way:

Soon we men will no longer have any need of you at all and females will die out. By 2020 there will be the first full functioning android released onto the market. To be politically correct it will be a female. But economically it will be female becasue men would be prepared to pay a once off cost for never having to compromise and she would never take his kids. She can look like any female he wants and to his exact specifications. She will have great physical strength. Every piece of information ever recorded in human history at her fingertips. Including the Karma Sutra.

Yep, the Karma Sutra. It’s a lot like the Kama Sutra, except once you master the Reverse-double-cowgirl-butterfly position you transcend the realm of suffering and escape the cycle of rebirth.

Back to the sexy robot ladies:

She will be better than any natural Western female on Earth. She will be supportive of everything he does. And the cost to keep her is significantly less than any Western female. So as time goes on the investment becomes amortised.

Amortized, bitches! Fucking A. Mort. Ized!

Ok, some of you human ladies must be thinking, will your ability to pop out babies keep you from being consigned to the scrapheap of history? That would be a big no.

Soon we will be able to create and grow perfect male humans in vitro without ever having to worry about what harmful things a mother may ingest.

So there.

The weak perish and you have allowed yourselves to become weak by claiming to be victims and thus claiming privileges whilst never having to be reponsible for your actions. … When there’s no more mooching off men your fortunes will rapidly change and you will disappear. We’ve carried you for 3.5 MILLION years. Image what we can achieve with all the resouces that are saved from not having to support females. It’s a BRAVE new world dawning girlies and unless you grow up fast and stop whining and get doing you will fail.

Here’s an actual photograph of what it was like 3.5 million years ago. As you can see, the Australopithecus dude is doing all the work while the gal, who’s not even all that pretty, is dancing around like an idiot.

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If you enjoyed this post, would you kindly* use the “Share This” or one of the other buttons below to share it on Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, or wherever else you want. I appreciate it.

*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.

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DarkSideCat
11 years ago

>Hey, you omitted the beginning, where he makes it clear he is talking to a queer person. Actually, since he was responding to a comment by me, I can say that I explicitly identified myself as transgender/genderqueer as well. Because nothing says "please address your entire comment to hetero cis women" like starting out with the name of a queer person and a bizarre screed about moving to queer utopia.You know, I have dated women and I actually like some people, you know, damned flawed human people (but, of course, he can't imagine that men are human with flaws as well).

Hide and Seek
11 years ago

>Hmmm . . . I wonder what Pat will be able to offer a fully-functioning, sentient lady robot with "great physical strength," and "every piece of information ever recorded in human history at her fingertips." I am your creator/owner, love me! has not been a long-term convincing argument, historically.

theclementine
11 years ago

>I'm not going to lie – that sexbot picture is almost as creepy as the dudes claiming it's the way of the future.

Amused
11 years ago

>"I wonder what Pat will be able to offer a fully-functioning, sentient lady robot with "great physical strength," and "every piece of information ever recorded in human history at her fingertips."That information will, of course, include the thoroughly convincing arguments that men who claim to "own" sentient human beings are douchebags; that any being that's physically stronger and more knowledgeable than her "owner" naturally deserves to be the in position of authority in the family, and have her obviously inferior "owner" submit to her (hat tip to John Dias); and that hey, Jesus Christ, why do you have to put up with this guy's stinky farts and greasy love-handles when you can have a physically perfect robot?

Ozymandias
11 years ago

>Question: why wouldn't the women get sex robots? I don't know about you, but a fully-functional robot in every way identical to Johnny Depp seems like it would be amazingly popular. Besides, as a practical matter, people want to talk to other people, not to robots programmed to like them, no matter how hot they are.

rebekah
11 years ago

>what I loved most about that comment is the fact that he thinks that you don't need a woman's body to do in vitro

Sandy
11 years ago

>Ozymandias, that's what confuses me most about the sexbot rant. He seems to think that if you could replace women sexually you could remove all their power. The only power of a woman is the power of her allure. Women would be powerless to purchase their own sexbots, have their own children made in those artificial wombs, and would therefore slowly die out. All because men no longer desired them.

Santo Christoforo, MD
11 years ago

>Davey:How many of these comments are genuine responses, and how many are sock puppets chewing the feminist philosophical cud with you?

Sandy
11 years ago

>I don't believe in Santo.

Joe
Joe
11 years ago

>@scDo you want to call anyone in particular out on being a sock puppet, or are you just going to keep on trollin' along?Sock puppets are pretty easy to spot. Most writers are incapable of editing out their tells and idiosyncracies, and the timestamps on the posts also often give them away.

Thomas
11 years ago

>@Ozymandias We will all have our sex robots, looking like Johnny Depp, Pamela Anderson, whatever floats your boat. The only problem is being able to afford these things. Poor people will be stuck with smelly humans. And talking is overrated, anyway.

nicko81m
11 years ago

>Heh the equivalent to this would be some male robot with an ATM machine attached to it. That would be the primary focus to these certain women besides the sexual stuff.

David Futrelle
11 years ago

>Ok, I admit it. I'm Santo Christoforo, MD. I'm trolling myself.

Hide and Seek
11 years ago

>nick:I know that is the extreme position, that men want young hotties and women want rich old dudes, but how do you square that with the fact that most of the people we see walking around are in relationships with people around the same age, level of attractiveness and socioeconomic status as themselves? I would feel extremely comfortable saying All of the ladies I know would prefer a robot man to be fun to be around, interested in the world, and willing able to pick up after themselves.

nobody
11 years ago

>Technologically its already possible to have human reproduction without men (although not practical in the least). I'm pretty sure that, if anything happens, the male gender will go obsolete first. Female reproductive organs are just much too complex.

DesertRose
11 years ago

>David, my nemesis does not have pigtails.

kysokisaen
11 years ago

>This guy expects way too much out of his sex androids. Particularly the cost benefits and babysitting abilities. Service androids would need maintenance much like cars to stay pretty. Wigs and damaged fake skin would have to be replaced lest she start looking as shabby as a real woman, and moving parts would have to be kept in good repair for obvious safety and 'karma sutra' reasons. Probably you should plan on the upkeep being more comparable to a luxury car than a used car – after all, no one cares if all the panels on your 1991 Ford are all different colors, but how would you like your 10-year-old robot girlfriend to be a patchwork quilt of races and features? Especially if the location or frequency of the repairs tells everyone how you prefer your business. And have you ever tried to match carpet or paint for patch jobs when samples of the original are no longer available? Fake skin would be just as bad. And don't even think about routine maintenance – how much would you charge per hour to replace the worn-out naughty bits on the sex androids of skeevy men? You could just toss her when she looks too worn and get another one, or lease them from the sexbot dealership. Either way, like Thomas said, sexy sex-bots will be a rich man's toy.As for looking after his hydroponic children, have fun when they get old enough to hack her. Any guy who is counting on getting a robot to raise his kids should plan on doing a lot more actual parenting himself.

Ozymandias
11 years ago

>Hide and Seek– Speak for yourself. I want a robot man with a vibrating dick and a strong resemblance to Mr. Depp. I have real men for the other shit.

Elizabeth
11 years ago

>Now come on Kyso-you just ruined the fantasy for these poor men trying to avoid human females in all ways.Now virtual women like lifesized versions of Sim 3 women…that is where these guys would really score the perfect woman.

kysokisaen
11 years ago

>Hey, I'm not saying it wouldn't be worth it. Plenty of people love their luxury cars, after all, and plenty of other people make a great living selling them things 🙂 I'm just saying, if you want one all-purpose robot slave, you've got to be prepared to care for it properly. Or dress it modestly when it's serving drinks at your parties or poker games to cover up the scars. Probably the best thing to do would be to have two androids, one madonna for domestic purposes and a whore for sexytime purposes. This divides the wear and tear and keeps your peccadilloes private. For instance, if you're a hair-puller you can get lazy about replacing the sexbot's wig until it really needs it if you have a separate maid/mother-bot with her own hair. Try to keep the sexybot kind of nice, though, because your kids will find it eventually and there's a limit to how poor a message you want to be sending with this arrangement.Wow, this getting expensive and confusing. Women must really be complicated if replacing them with appliances is this involved.

greenthumbed
11 years ago

>Wow. what an exciting blog. I wonder if they make a lesbian version of the robot. I am not a lesbian but many of my friends are and this would get them off my back.

LexieDi
11 years ago

>This guy's obviously never taken a biology class.You can't make a baby out of just sperm, you're missing 23 chromosomes! The ladybot doesn't have any chromosomes.So? Are the ladybots just going to clone the man they're with and make it a child? Because that would be pretty stupid. Having a large gene pool means that there's variation which helps when there are new or stronger diseases. Clones, or any kind of asexual reproduction makes the species very vulnerable to mass death and extinction.Are the ladybots going to MAKE DNA? Or will they have human female eggs stored? Because if they do, you can't let all women go extinct, you need to harvest their eggs… And, not even talking about reproduction, what happens when the natural resources run out? You know, the metals and fossil fuels, and the like? Will ladybots be handed down from generation to generation? "Son, I want you to have Pamalina Jolenson. I've cleaned out her sperm receptacle."And if they have a mind that's able to support and praise a man without being simple pre-programmed statements, and if the ladybots have all information on hand, automatically, won't they be or become aware of the oppression they face?All-in-all, it's an idiotic dream.All in all, this plan sucks.

LexieDi
11 years ago

>Oops! My unfinished comment was published when I thought it was lost to the internets, will you erase it please, Mr. Blog-runner-sir?

Dr. Deezee
11 years ago

>You realize you can erase your own comments, right? There's a little trash can icon next to the time and date when you post them.(Having said that, watch me be wrong.)

Dr. Deezee
11 years ago

>Okay, nope, not wrong.

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