Let’s take a break from doomscrolling with (another) little visit to the Land of Magic Sperm, also known as the Semen Retention subreddit.
The guys in the Semen Retention subreddit are just really, really, really into
their own semen “the real Elixir of the human body.”
I‘ve been rooting around in the Semen Retention subreddit again, and the insights I’m gaining about the wondrous power of my precious bodily fluids … well, they’re actually pretty terrible and I’m fairly certain that none of them are true.
It’s getting funky over in the Semen Retention subreddit. Not funky like James Brown funky. Funky as in musty teenager’s bedroom funky.
I found this wall of text posted to the BlatantMisogyny subreddit, and I really, really, really want it to be true.
In the secular NoFap movement, participants talk all the time about fighting their demons — pornography and masturbation — but they’re only speaking figuratively when it comes to the demon bit.
Those who deliberately retain their semen say the practice sharpens their mind and their senses, makes them to smell better, renders them irresistible to women.
Men who retain their semen think that the practice gives them almost magical powers — increased energy, concentration, and charisma, to name just a few of the things these guys think they get from simply not jerking off for a month or two. The Semen Retention subreddit is filled with testimonies from guys claiming that their non-masturbation hobby has made them superior men.
As this garbage year comes to a close, I thought I’d dig out some of my favorite posts from the past year. I think they’re all worth revisiting. Enjoy!