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Batshit Breitbart: “Democrats Embrace Child Mutilation, Morbid Obesity to Replace Working Class”

Breitbart’s John Nolte

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Sometimes it’s useful to remind ourselves just how batshit Breitbart is. Take yesterday’s column by John Nolte, which argues that the “Democrats are embracing permanent child mutilation and morbid obesity” as a way “[t]o replace working-class, black, and Hispanic voters” they’ve been losing in recent elections.

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Now they’re mad because a drag queen is “grooming” a … fictional character?

Shea Couleé: Disney star?

It’s been a strange experience watching Disney transformed, at least in the minds of far right culture warriors, from a relatively staid, goody-two-shoes entertainment conglomerate into a symbol of “demonic” perversity — for the crime of incorporating LGBTQ+ characters in their media properties.

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Leave it to Breitbart to completely miss the moral of Joss Whedon’s fall from grace

At this point, the biggest threat to Joss Whedon’s career is his own big mouth

You don’t have to read Lila Shapiro’s 9000-word New York magazine profile of fallen Buffy creator Joss Whedon to understand what a disaster it is for him.

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People in New Zealand can have sex with up to 24 of their best friends, the Prime Minister sort of announces. But the Gateway Pundit isn’t invited

This is possibly the dumbest picture I’ve ever made for this blog. My apologies to New Zealand

Yesterday the rigt-wing mediasphere went bananas over an ambiguous comment from the top James Bond producer seemingly suggesting that maybe, just maybe, at some time in the future, James Bond could get rebooted as a non-binary super spy.

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Gillette ad features an unapologetic fat woman in a swimsuit; heads explode

Gillette model “celebrates obesity” by existing while fat

By David Futrelle

A couple of months ago, Gillette infuriated Men’s Rights Activists and other terrible people with an ad challenging toxic masculinity and suggesting that maybe it wasn’t such a good thing for men and boys to go around bullying and harassing people.

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The 5 Nazi-est moments from Buzzfeed’s exposé of the Milo/Breitbart alt-right sausage factory

Milo Yiannopoulos: Actually worse than you already thought

By David Futrelle

So you all need to drop whatever you’re doing to read Buzzfeed’s amazing exposé of Breitbart’s use of conscienceless troll journalist Milo Yiannopoulos to push white supremacism into the American political mainstream (again).

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These two videos capture Trumpism in all its surreal, let’s say, glory?

Milk does a Nazi good?

Two videos have been making the rounds lately that I think capture the surreality that is live in Trumpmerica, and can’t help make you wonder (as many of us have been wondering since November 8) if perhaps we’ve slipped into the wrong timeline.

Let’s start with the Milk Nazis.

Milk Nazis, you ask? I’ll let Mic explain, because I’m lazy:

At the Museum of the Moving Image in New York City on a Friday night, neo-Nazis and other trolls danced shirtless in front of a camera. The livestream setup had originally been established by actor Shia LaBeouf as an anti-Trump art installation. But the project has since become a broadcast outlet for white nationalism.

Amid all the tattoos of Third Reich iconography bouncing around, one thing stood out: The neo-Nazis were all drinking milk. They spat it out as they danced, letting it dribble down their chins. 

Milk, the longtime staple for growing children, is now the new, creamy symbol of white racial purity in President Donald Trump‘s America.

See, the idea is that pure-blooded white people have the lactase enzyme that allows them to drink milk without having to run the bathroom afterwards. Or at least are more likely to be lactose-tolerant than most people of color. Or something. In any case, internet Nazis on sites like 4chan and the Daily Stormer have decided, with varying degrees of seriousness, that milk does a Nazi good.

Hmm. I could tolerate lactose (and drink milk) all I wanted as a kid. Now I can’t. So I guess I’ve gotten less Aryan with age?

Anyway, here’s the video. It’s 12 minutes long, though you don’t have to watch the whole thing to get the basic idea. I watched the whole thing because what in holy hell is going on in this word? Also I kind of liked that one of the Milk Nazis looked like he had been teleported to NYC straight from a Skinny Puppy concert in 1989.

Milk Nazis, I hate these guys! (And also can’t drink them.)

The other video in question is a much more low key affair, and everyone in it keeps their shirt on.

It’s a Breitbart interview with White House Spokesman Sean Spicer, and for once Spicer is not the embarrassing one here. Let’s just say that the video has the production values of a high school video class project, and that the Breitbart interviewer has all the smooth professionalism of that “boom goes the dynamite” guy.

Wow. I mean, I was in fact involved in a high school public access “news” show (I think maybe it was part of a class?) and for all of our incompetence (which was massive) I think we did better than this. My most vivid memory of the experience was watching the technician for the public access channels putting his hand down the back of his pants to scratch his butt.

I can only hope that is not something that any of the Breitbarters involved in this production does, as it is kind of grody.

PS: Note to Beryl, if you’re reading this: Your now-husband was in the video class with me. After witnessing the butt-scratching incident, he quipped to me that he wasn’t going to be shaking that guy’s hand any time soon.

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Whaa? Neo-Nazis shocked to discover that a popular Neo-Nazi podcaster has a Jewish wife

What Neo-Nazi has an index finger and a Jewish wife? This guy!

Do you remember way back, oh, about ten months ago, when Breitbart tried to convince the world that alt-rightists were really just a bunch of lovable scallywags who didn’t actually believe all the horrible racist and anti-Semitic garbage they were so energetically dumping on the internet (and in the email inboxes of their assorted enemies) every day?

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In 1979, the Dead Kennedys released their first single, the satirical “California Über Alles,” a pointed jab at then-California-governor Jerry Brown, whom the song depicted as a “Zen Fascist” who would soon be sending the “the suede/denim secret police” to arrest “your uncool niece.”

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These Kellogg’s Breakfast Cereal Commercials Kill Fascists

Kellogg's Corn Flakes: Sweetened with Breitbart's tears
Kellogg’s Corn Flakes: Sweetened with Breitbart’s tears

On Tuesday, cereal and snack giant Kellogg’s announced it was pulling ads from Breitbart on the grounds that Breitbart is a giant racist shithole of a site and who would want to be associated with that? Granted, the Kellogg’s people were a little more diplomatic in making this point, saying simply that Breitbart isn’t really “aligned with our values as a company.”

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