Let’s take a break from doomscrolling with (another) little visit to the Land of Magic Sperm, also known as the Semen Retention subreddit.
It’s getting funky over in the Semen Retention subreddit. Not funky like James Brown funky. Funky as in musty teenager’s bedroom funky.
They’re back. The lusty demonesses, the soul-sucking succubi, even Mr. Scratch himself — they’ve all found their way once again to Reddit’s NoFap community. And the natives are having none of it.
In the secular NoFap movement, participants talk all the time about fighting their demons — pornography and masturbation — but they’re only speaking figuratively when it comes to the demon bit.
Men who retain their semen think that the practice gives them almost magical powers — increased energy, concentration, and charisma, to name just a few of the things these guys think they get from simply not jerking off for a month or two. The Semen Retention subreddit is filled with testimonies from guys claiming that…
So the guys over in the Semen Retention subreddit — a more hardcore spinoff of the larger NoFap subreddit — are discussing the mysteries of female nature, as weirdo misogynists are wont to do. Specifically, the guys are trying to explain to one another why men often seem socially awkward, while women seem like naturals…
By David Futrelle As something of a connoisseur of misogyny, I’m drawn to the Semen Retention subreddit by its unique mixture of woman-hating and penis-centric woo. While the woo is blatant and ridiculous — the men there think that retaining their sacred seed will give them magical powers and make them irresistible to women and other…
By David Futrelle I‘ll do a real post tomorrow but in the meantime here’s an intriguing conspiracy theory I found in the NoFap subreddit.
By David Futrelle Yep, some NoFap dude did a NoFap version of Johnny Cash’s famous cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt,” with the lyrics changed to make a point about the evils of “cooming” while jerking off to porn. Just listen to this mess, if you can:
By David Futrelle So I took a little stroll through the Semen Retention subreddit again today, and there were demons afoot. Or at least inside the brain of one of the gentlemen there.