Men’s Rights Activists! Are you scrambling to find a good costume for a Halloween party tonight?
Here are a few suggestions, free of charge.
Let’s start with the ladies because in our gynocratic world ladies always get to go first.
Sexy Sperm Bandit: Wrap yourself in a sheet and carry a small vial of liquid soap.
Sexy False Rape Accuser: Just wear your regular clothes — you’ll want to take your victim by surprise.
Sexy Positive Pregnancy Test: Dress as a giant pregnancy test carrying a bag of sweet child support money.
Sexy Dinner Date Who Won’t Put Out: Wear an expensive lobster dinner as a hat. Just make sure to get a man to pay for it!
Sexy Cat Lady: Dress as a spinster with an apartment full of cats, because that’s all that feminism is going to get you in the end. I mean, who wants to be surrounded by all that terrifying cuteness?
For the men:
Sexy Sperm-Bandit-Foiler: Dress in your underwear and bring along a bottle of hot sauce which you can slyly pour into the Sperm Bandit’s sperm vial. If she tries to use the sperm to make a baby she’ll get a spicy surprise!
Sexy MGTOW cook: Tape a severely overcooked chicken breast to your chest and carry a package of frozen green beans. You’ll have the ladies salivating — but they can’t have you or your delicious dinner.
Sext Wall of Text: Dress up as a wall with something like this scrawled on it in crayons. Remember, the best punctuation is no punctuation!
Sexy Door-Holder: No special costume required. Just go around ostentatiously holding doors open for women — and calling them “bitches” when they don’t respond with a similarly ostentatious thank-you.
And last but not least:
Sexy Mammoth Hunter: Dress as a caveman and walk around fuming that the women of today don’t give you credit for hunting the mammoth or inventing fire or something else some caveman probably did. You’re welcome, ladies; you’re welcome!
If none of these ideas work for you, fellas, just dust off your favorite fedora and go dressed as yourself — then watch as the other party guests flee in terror from you and your terminally tedious complaints.
NOTE: I have swapped out the original graphic for this post because it contained a racist caricature which I didn’t see until it was pointed out to me. Sorry!
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