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Come quick! This is the angriest rant about premature ejaculation I’ve ever seen

In the Men’s Rights subreddit, someone called beginningofheaven has some very, well, strong feelings about premature ejaculation and what he calls the “animalization of men.”

I hate how premature ejaculation is a joke and source of shame and how women mock men (and men counterproductively mock themselves) about it.

Ok, snowflake, but some penis problems are at least a little bit funny at least some of the time and this is one of them.

The cure for refractory period (which doesn’t cure PE, but doesn’t make it a problem) is literally Cabergoline, but not only it’s expensive, it isn’t even tailored for that, to the point you have to take care not have heart problems on the dosage.

So you’re so mad that there’s no magic pill for premature ejaculation that you throw a fit about a different drug that has an off-label usage that is vaguely related to PE? And that potentially has deadly side effects?

Maybe you could shove a Cabergoline pill into your urethra; that’ll stop anything getting out.

That’s why I’m not irresponsibly recommeding any medicine here, even though I got my post deleted by a r/menslib mod because of that. Yeah, it was because of that for sure, not at all because I was defending a cause that benefits men in any way shape or form that doesn’t include women.

Focus, dude, focus. You’re losing me.

And why isn’t that solution refined? BECAUSE PEOPLE DON’T CARE ABOUT MEN, even though it could improve sex lives for both sexes and make men less nervous on having to hold their pleasure to please girls.

Dude, the pharmaceutical industry positively hungers for pills to solve penis problems. You know how much they take in for erectile dysfunction pills like Viagra? The global market for ED pills could hit $5 billion this year. Pharmaceutical companies would be thrilled to sell a couple of billion dollars’ worth of a premature ejaculation pill if they could.

Instead, society prefers to accept those tacky propaganda about gels that make you last longer, or force men to endure disciplinary Kegels, or enforce a stupid piss competition on who lasts longer in bed.

You’re really too mad to try kegels? Your solution has to come in the form of a pill? Not every solution does.

Why does it feel so unlovable being a man? You have to pledge for even a crumble of civility while women are catered as the only humans who deserve to detach from nature; it’s dehumanizing.

Wait, so first you’re mad that men can’t “detach from nature,” whatever that means, then complain abut being “dehumanized?” Isn’t “detaching from nature” inherently more dehumanizing than *checks notes* … not having a perfect premature ejaculation pill right now.

Cure for periods and childbirth? Sure, we’ll work on that.

Uh, there are no possible cures for periods or childbirth. What are you talking about?

Cure for refractory period that actually already exists? “WELL ACTUALLY WOM-“.

And don’t get me started on priorities, most world governments have enough leverage and resources to invest on research about both sexes equally, no matter how worse childbirth can be.

You think pharmaceutical companies aren’t trying to develop pills for every “male” problem they can imagine? Again, look at all the money they take in for ED pills.

I fucking hate this shit world. Living among those idiots is HELL, living among “people” who just idly accept those atrocities in judgement and ignorance is hell.

Uh, why’d you put irony quotes around “people?” Are you trying to dehumanize them? I thought you were against that.

I took it upon myself to develop a refined version of Cabergoline tailored for men in my lifetime, and more.

What, like in your garage or something?

Do you have any idea how anything in this world works?

Anyway, dude, before your head explodes in anger, let me suggest something to you that could at the very least ameliorate some of your penis worries, and that is: Instead of waiting for a perfect pill to solve PE, learn to do sexy sex things that don’t involve the penis. You have fingers. You have a mouth. You have a brain. Learn to do things with fingers and tongue that women enjoy (and that you will enjoy as well).

(Cis) lesbians manage to have sex without the involvement of any penises, and so can you if yours conks out early on you. Every single person with a penis has troubles with it at some point, but these troubles don’t have to get in the way of good sex. Even without a pill. Take a look at Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men for some ideas if you’re feeling stumped.

And talk with someone about your anger issues, because no one wants to fuck a guy this angry even if he has learned a few of those lesbian tricks.

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Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
11 months ago

@weirwoodtreehugger:
How does the line go? “Lord, grant me the confidence of a mediocre white man.” I suppose we could add ‘cis’ in there as well.

Chris Oakley
11 months ago

Somebody needs to check this guy’s blood pressure. I’m not kidding. I guarantee this rant has pushed him to the brink of a stroke or heart attack.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
11 months ago

I think this guy spends so much time fapping that all the blood’s gone to his penis. Or so much time ranting online that it’s all gone to cause his blood vessels to expand and go thumpy thump. Seriously, he’s a candidate for a stroke (not that kind).

And I’m sure men everywhere will be thrilled to take a pill “improved” by some rando.

If only the world spent as much money on women’s health as giving boners to men. It’d be neat if we only got birth control at the same rate/coverage old guys get Viagra. And something done about those damn periods, because those aren’t optional and they suck.

@Jenora: I’ve been thinking that saying needs to be posted everywhere.

Mostly_Lurking
Mostly_Lurking
11 months ago

@WWTH

Wasn’t it an article on this site that had some guy trying to mansplain vulva vs vagina, and even when the dictionary stepped in to tell him he was wrong, he still wouldn’t accept it?

@Jenora

Doesn’t even have to be “mediocre”, far too many “sub-par” cis-het white guys are overflowing with unwarranted confidence.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
11 months ago

@Mostly_Lurking:
Not just the dictionary, but also gynecologist Dr. Jen Gunter, who literally has had her own show about this sort of thing.

Also, he refused to admit defeat again later, so there were two articles:
Vulvagate: When mansplaining goes so wrong the dictionary itself has to step in
Mansplainin’ 2: Electric Vulvaloo! The dude who had a Twitter meltdown over the word “vulva” is back

rusalka
rusalka
11 months ago

It’d be neat if we only got birth control at the same rate/coverage old guys get Viagra.

It would also be neat if birth control weren’t the only solution to various problems connected to gynecological problems… reading all this is really frustrating as a woman with possible (yet unconfirmed) endometriosis.

The fact that boner pills were just a lucky mistake just adds insult to injury in my book, considering that women can’t profit of any of due to being excluded from medical trials for years (and if it’s noticed its ends up as an off-label use – yay!). Although I bet somewhere out there some manospherean already had a meltdown about how unfair it is, that “ladies don’t get treated as guinea pigs…” -_-

ignorance is hell.

Scratch the rest of this paragraph and you got the only accurate insight to this guys worldview

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Mostly_Lurking,

Yep! He tried to argue with Dr. Jen Gunter about it on Twitter. Which was hilarious.

He’s sadly far from the only cis man who does this though. A lot of dudes will melt down when anyone points out that it’s not necessary to wash one’s vagina because it’s self cleaning. Because they think we’re saying not to wash the entire genital area. Because they think the vagina is the vulva.

Full Metal Ox
11 months ago

One of my all-time favorite horror stories of catastrophic cis male ignorance comes from Gehayi, describing her experience interning for a middle-aged State Representative who thought that menstruation was a faucet that could be turned on and shut off at will:

http://gehayi.tumblr.com/post/133454492906

Moggie
Moggie
11 months ago

I remember that vagsplaining guy. Even by the standards of splaining, he was an extreme case, and it was all so pointless. If he collected everything he wrote on the subject, he could probably self-publish it as a book, every word of it wrong.

Mostly_Lurking
Mostly_Lurking
11 months ago

@Jenora

Yeah, that was it, the Vulvagate thing. I didn’t know there was a part 2, now I have to go steel myself and give it a read.

@FMO

The amount of men who think women can just “hold” their periods is boggling. Yeah, I thought that once, before I got my first one and was talking to my mom about it, because I didn’t understand. But I figured they at least teach you the very basics of biology, even in abstinence-only so-called “sex ed” in schools. Now I’m sure the boys are squeemish as always, but I figured at some point, they’d learn about periods, since most of them expect to have a girlfriend/wife at some point. Guess not.

.45
.45
11 months ago

This discussion reminds me of the time I overheard a guy mention in casual conversation how kidney stones were no issue for women. Although most of the people in the room were the aforementioned mediocre white guys and had no better than high school education, there was a long pause as everyone pondered the fact that this guy thought women pee out of their vagina.

Mostly_Lurking
Mostly_Lurking
11 months ago

From now on, Fractally Wrong, tripled-down mansplaining, especially to women about their own bodies, needs to be referred to as “Pullin’ a Bullen”.

I’ll have to depend on the rest of you to spread this around, as I’m generally not that good at releasing these things into the wild.

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