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incels misogyny rape culture sexual inequality

Incel: “Sluts not pleasuring me is discrimination”

Spock is not impressed with your logic

The incels have come up with yet another reason why their lack of sex is somehow the responsibility of someone else — in this case, “sluts” who fuck other guys but not them.

Because, I guess, any woman who consents to sex with one man has somehow given her consent to all other men, even the weirdos who hang out on the Incels.is forums. So not having sex with these guys is a form of discrimination.

“Local SLUTS” I guess the ball is in your court.

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GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
1 year ago

Local sluts apparently have some taste.

Also, this asshole would be an asshole no matter how his brain is wired.

Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
1 year ago

Re: slut. This is kinda OT, but…

I’ve never particularly liked that word for myself. And I respect efforts to reclaim it,

 

I have reclaimed the word “floozy”. I find it much more attractive than “slut”

Separately: with respect to people nonconsensually applying the word slut to you, I obviously agree that is completely not OK.

I vividly recall how, in 8th grade, our teacher told one girl to take the gum out of her mouth because she “looked like a streetwalker.” I gasped. Nobody else seemed to turn a hair.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

@Crip Dyke

I mean “floozy” sounds less like an insult somehow, but it’s still… IDK. Not for me. I’m very careful these days about who I give access to my body, and while there’s nothing wrong with not being so, I resent that people make assumptions about me because I used to be less careful. And because I’m bi, trans, prefer revealing clothes for dysphoria reasons etc.

(Also just to be clear I don’t see you doing any of those things, just… the way “sex positivity” has worked in practice in the queer spaces I’ve run in has often been really exhausting.)

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
1 year ago

@cyborgette

the way “sex positivity” has worked in practice in the queer spaces I’ve run in has often been really exhausting.

Absolutely true. I mean, you’re talking about your spaces, but I’ve seen it many spaces myself. Part of why I like floozy is that it’s
1) too silly to take entirely seriously,
and
2) one of the few words I can use that hasn’t been overtly weaponized in my lifetime…and those words are few when you’re talking about vocabulary related to sexual activities /habits /tendencyies.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

@Crip Dyke

Yeah that’s super valid. If it works, it works.

And I’m glad you understand re “sex positivity” and queer spaces issues, gods, it’s been hard to bring that stuff up a lot of times without being seen as a buzzkill or even a bigot.

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 year ago

Eh, my attitude towards the “s”-word (no, not that one, the one we’re currently talking about) is that if it comes up in conversation, I’m all like “Well I am one, and so what?” But I don’t put it in my bio or call other people that. Well, there have been a few times where I’ve used the term in a general sense rather than a reference to myself or a specific other person, but only as a conversational convenience.

Honestly I prefer the term “chilk”, which I made up, because it sounds funny. But no one would know what I was talking about. (UrbanDictionary says it’s short for “chocolate milk”, but it’s not taken from that.)

Sheila Crosby
1 year ago

I decided a long time ago that what “slut” really means is “woman I can’t control.”

rabid rabbit
rabid rabbit
1 year ago

@Sheila Crosby

Well, it originally meant “Untidy woman,” and sometimes “a kitchen maid, a drudge,” with a distinct sense of “Woman who doesn’t clean the house properly,” so you may be on to something there. In the case of the OP, maybe not so much “Woman I can’t control” as “Woman who doesn’t arrange the world to be exactly the way I want it to be.” (Source: https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=slut)

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
1 year ago

@Kat: I’d have gasped too. When caught chewing gum, my teachers merely pointed out it wasn’t allowed in class. Even the super misogynist dude only went so far as to say someone looked like a cow chewing its cud.

“Floozy” is such a silly-sounding word that it can work better. Especially if you throw in other old-timey words. Malarkey! Tomfoolery! Gallivanting! 23 skidoo!

Kevin
Kevin
1 year ago

@MondayMiddlemarch incels will never willingy go to therapy because their very mindset makes it useless. After all if that guy is legit diagnosed it means hes already in contact with the mental health system. The kind of “therapy” incels need would proably be a combination of rehab programms for sex offenders and exit couselling for radical right-wing extremists, jihadists, and cult members.
Unfortunately the US is too busy jailing poor brown people and doesnt care about mental health structures, but maybe Canada can try?
Also, as much as I would like to say that autism has nothing to do with being an incel, I can see how the symptoms can make autistic men predisposed to become incels. Spectrum news had a good take on it.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
1 year ago

@kevin : I am wary of saying that autism can lead to be some shade of asshole. If only because by proportion, there don’t seem to be more asshole among autists than other people.

Full Metal Ox
1 year ago

@Sheila Crosby; @rabid rabbit:

Well, it originally meant “Untidy woman,” and sometimes “a kitchen maid, a drudge,” with a distinct sense of “Woman who doesn’t clean the house properly,” so you may be on to something there. In the case of the OP, maybe not so much “Woman I can’t control” as “Woman who doesn’t arrange the world to be exactly the way I want it to be.” (Source: https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=slut)

According to Robert Herrick (of “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may” fame), you need to be a tidy housekeeper to gain favor with Queen Mab; the fairies apparently don’t care about your sexual history:

THE FAIRIES
by Robert Herrick


IF ye will with Mab find grace,
Set each platter in his place ;
Rake the fire up, and get
Water in, ere sun be set.
Wash your pails and cleanse your dairies ;
Sluts are loathsome to the fairies ;
Sweep your house, who doth not so,
Mab will pinch her by the toe.

Kevin
Kevin
1 year ago

@Ohlmann Yes autism and assholeness are orthogonal, but the combination of both could be what leads some to become incels. Without any serious studies it’s just specularion but anecdotal evidence should prompt psychologists to study the topic. Here’s the article I mentioned before https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/radical-online-communities-and-their-toxic-allure-for-autistic-men/

Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ kevin

For at least 6 of the 75 individuals, she found an autism diagnosis or at least a strong suggestion of autism

I’m no statistician, but that doesn’t seem even slightly significant.

Again, I don’t know the actual figures, but I would have guessed that in any random selection of 75 men that it would have been more than 6 on the spectrum.

If anything that seems to suggest people with autism are under-represented in such offences.

But I’ll defer to anyone with more knowledge of the actual figures of course.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
1 year ago

Kevin, I am seriously side-eyeing your comment.

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