Categories
drama kings entitled babies evil sexy ladies kitties men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny music NoFap not a cult penises precious bodily fluids

Porn, “lustful music” and “vulgar clothing” are lowering men’s “vibrational state,” angry New Age no-fapper declares in epic dumb rant

Lower vibrational energy

By David Futrelle

If you’ve ever wondered what the “precious bodily fluids”-obsessed General Jack D. Ripper from Dr. Strangelove would sound like if he were, like, really into crystals and auras and shit, well, he might sound a bit like this dude I found in the Semen Retention subreddit today, warning his fellow semen-retainers of the alleged spiritual war being waged against their good vibrations.

Using the weapons of “pornography, lustful music [and] vulgur [sic] clothing,” nis1997 proclaimed in his epic rant, the forces of evil have been feminizing men and “push[ing them] down into a lower vibrational version of themselves for years.” The only defense against this dastardly campaign? Men, stop wanking!

I know that’s the message of, you know, every single rant on the Semen Retention subreddit — which promotes a sort of harder-core version of NoFap. But this guy brings some real razzamatazz to his task. Let’s hear him out,

Men. Those of you on this sub must recognize that there is a war going on. A spiritual war. One that dictates the future of the human race.

Men have been feminized and pushed down into a lower vibrational version of themselves for years. The forces of evil have powerful tools at their disposal. Pornography, lustful music, vulgur clothing. These are all used to hijack the male psyche and use our drive to reproduce against us. To deplete us of our vital energy.

But something deep inside our souls calls to our concious minds. The inuition of Man (some call Him God) summons us to take our place in this world as the MEN THAT WE WERE BORN TO BE. The warriors, the beacons of light that people can rally behind.

The future belongs to men who are dedicated to this path. Dedicated to reaching their full potential.

No more weakness. No more feeling sorry for ourselves and blaming the outside world for how shitty our lives are.

We are taking a stand to fix our minds, our bodies and our souls through this beautiful practice of semen retention.

We do this so we can take back our lives. Because only then will we be in a position to give energy to the world and become MEN OF VALUE.

Follow this sub and follow the path.

Take back your energy. Take back your life. Take back your POWER.

As a card-carrying agent of the Forces of Evil, all I know is that this talk of “lustful music” has made me want to assemble a sexy little playlist. So here are some videos of some exceptionally horny songs.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

We Hunted the Mammoth relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!

76 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

“They come for drugs, dirty dancing, and pounding pounding techno music…”

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

This isn’t the first time NoFappers have gotten obsessed with vibration. This one seemed to have similar interest in vibrating.
If you find yourself vibrating, for whatever reason, you should probably see a doctor. People aren’t supposed to vibrate on their own.
To add to the lustful songs:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFCZDNwomRA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz1ca1-_-MY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIMDpqQYMFE
(though I think that last one is supposed to be criticizing the amount of sex in our culture). I was listening to a lot of System of a Down earlier, and plenty of their songs are rather lustful.
And a somewhat different kind of lust but a fantastic song (especially for releasing anger):

impudentinfidel
impudentinfidel
2 years ago

Wait, “lower vibration” when you get interested in sexy things?

I’m honestly wondering if nobody ever explained puberty to him and he panicked when his voice dropped.

WMDKitty
WMDKitty
2 years ago

I offer a humble contribution to the lustful music.

https://youtu.be/VMnjF1O4eH0

teabug
teabug
2 years ago

For what it’s worth, a lot of people consider self-love an activity on par with taking a shower. Clean, necessary fun. Just saying.

Mrs Morley
Mrs Morley
2 years ago

Just because I think no-fappers would hate it.

Nah because I love it:

https://youtu.be/HtJS32n6LNQ

Naglfar
Naglfar
2 years ago

I’m on the fence over whether I should post some hair metal songs. On the one hand, those songs are definitely lustful, but it seems almost all of them are extremely misogynistic.
I tried to think of some non-misogynistic hair metal, but am drawing a blank. Not sure if there is any, as I’m not really into hair metal (I prefer death metal and black metal), but if anyone knows any please post.

EDIT: Forgot about this:

RIP Jill Janus

It would get the manosphere dudes angry because in addition to it obviously being sexual, if memory serves me right Jill Janus was bisexual and these people do not like bi women.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
2 years ago

I would add “La ballade de l’obsédé” from the french artist Gotainer …

While it’s a fan edit over a wow video, that version have english subtitle, which probably will help quite a lot of people here :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScMkSsoaNbw

(I hope so. I can’t look at more than the preview image because Youtube is a steaming pile of shit. It do have the same preview image than the video I seek)

(and the translation isn’t quite up to speed with how insane the original version is)

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
2 years ago

Durned kids with their hippity-hoppity boom-boom music!

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
2 years ago

For lustful music I find it’s hard to go wrong with Meg Myers.

Bina
2 years ago

And to think that I used to take my own orgasms in hand so that I wouldn’t end up with some shitty dude just to get off.

Do these bozos even IRONY?

Dalillama
Dalillama
2 years ago

I feel I should point out that there’s literally 5 song subjects in history. They are: sex, drugs, violence, doing crimes, and religion. ~98% of all songs ever written are about one or more of those things.

Another Laura
Another Laura
2 years ago

Unlurking just to wonder if “no fapping” is some kind of weird corollary to purity culture?

epitome of incomprehensibility

@Naglfar, @impudentinfidel – I thought of something different when I saw the word “vibrations.” Must be the bad influence of all the lustful music! Though I’m more Gluttony, myself. 😉

@Dalillama – I’m not sure whether the % was tongue in cheek but that seems plausible!! Plus, put together everything romance-related – whether it focuses on love, sex, break-ups, whatever – and I’m sure you have a huge chunk of all songs ever.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

What about this old song? “Working in a coal mine, going down down down…” … unless “coal mine” is a euphemism for something else, that one doesn’t seem to fall into any of those categories.

lower vibrational energy

Three-word suggestion: Hitachi. Magic. Wand.

Dalillama
Dalillama
2 years ago

@Surplus
Songs about work are the other 2%

GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
GrumpyOld SocialJusticeMangina
2 years ago

Like that great classic, “Take This Job and Shove It.”

Yes, I AM that old.

dashapants
dashapants
2 years ago

@Dalillama

You forgot songs about loss. There’s a goodly number of grief dirges out there jerking tears out of audiences.

Like when your dawg has died, and your tractor stopped workin’, and your first wife she done kicked the bucket and your fish they is kaput.

Talonknife
Talonknife
2 years ago

For the list of lustful music, I humbly present Jonathan Coulton’s “First of May.”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v-ohxxZBBFA&autoplay=1

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

@Dalillama, I feel like you’re overlooking Shonen Knife’s entire oeuvre.

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
2 years ago

[Insert joke about vibrators here]

Also, I’m sure that “vulgur” is a typo, and he actually meant “bulgur”. All these people walking around covered in cracked wheat, it’s just immoral (let alone problematic for celiacs).

Also also, some of my favourite bands sing about science and science fiction and monsters.

rv97
rv97
2 years ago

@Dalillama @Naglfar

You guys should check out Acrassicauda and Skindred, I find the less problematic of the metal bands. The former’s songs in their first album does talk about war though.

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
2 years ago

@Dalillama:

And also cars, though that may come under the heading of “sex.”

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

OT: you may or may not be familiar with the emerging story about Boris Johnson’s dodgy relationship with a businesswoman, Jennifer Arcuri. I haven’t taken much notice, myself: alongside all the other fuckery we’re going through, it seemed rather minor. But this caught my eye today: Milo is involved:

Arcuri told ITV that her then friend Milo Yiannopoulos, the rightwing commentator, suggested she apply for the job of chief executive of Tech City, an organisation set up by Downing Street to champion technology companies in London. She suggested to ITV that she went along with the idea to humour Yiannopoulos.

But the Sunday Times reported that Arcuri boasted of still having a letter of recommendation from Johnson. It quoted an email from her as saying “I still have the letter of rec from Boris. Hahaha. To think that we asked him to write us a recommendation for the CEO of Tech City is just hysterical.” On Monday she said: “That letter doesn’t exist.” Asked to explain the email, she said she was “just playing along”.

Maybe this story will turn out to be more interesting than I first thought.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
2 years ago

I haven’t listened to Shonen Knife in a few years. Now I want to again.

For some reason ESP is the one that decided to get stuck in my head.

1 2 3 4
%d bloggers like this: