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Porn, “lustful music” and “vulgar clothing” are lowering men’s “vibrational state,” angry New Age no-fapper declares in epic dumb rant

Lower vibrational energy

By David Futrelle

If you’ve ever wondered what the “precious bodily fluids”-obsessed General Jack D. Ripper from Dr. Strangelove would sound like if he were, like, really into crystals and auras and shit, well, he might sound a bit like this dude I found in the Semen Retention subreddit today, warning his fellow semen-retainers of the alleged spiritual war being waged against their good vibrations.

Using the weapons of “pornography, lustful music [and] vulgur [sic] clothing,” nis1997 proclaimed in his epic rant, the forces of evil have been feminizing men and “push[ing them] down into a lower vibrational version of themselves for years.” The only defense against this dastardly campaign? Men, stop wanking!

I know that’s the message of, you know, every single rant on the Semen Retention subreddit — which promotes a sort of harder-core version of NoFap. But this guy brings some real razzamatazz to his task. Let’s hear him out,

Men. Those of you on this sub must recognize that there is a war going on. A spiritual war. One that dictates the future of the human race.

Men have been feminized and pushed down into a lower vibrational version of themselves for years. The forces of evil have powerful tools at their disposal. Pornography, lustful music, vulgur clothing. These are all used to hijack the male psyche and use our drive to reproduce against us. To deplete us of our vital energy.

But something deep inside our souls calls to our concious minds. The inuition of Man (some call Him God) summons us to take our place in this world as the MEN THAT WE WERE BORN TO BE. The warriors, the beacons of light that people can rally behind.

The future belongs to men who are dedicated to this path. Dedicated to reaching their full potential.

No more weakness. No more feeling sorry for ourselves and blaming the outside world for how shitty our lives are.

We are taking a stand to fix our minds, our bodies and our souls through this beautiful practice of semen retention.

We do this so we can take back our lives. Because only then will we be in a position to give energy to the world and become MEN OF VALUE.

Follow this sub and follow the path.

Take back your energy. Take back your life. Take back your POWER.

As a card-carrying agent of the Forces of Evil, all I know is that this talk of “lustful music” has made me want to assemble a sexy little playlist. So here are some videos of some exceptionally horny songs.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Jon
Jon
1 year ago

LMAO never laughed harder at one of your post, these dudes are borderline insane

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