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A billionaire died during penis enlargement surgery, and incels are taking it hard

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By David Futrelle

A billionaire diamond trader has reportedly died of a heart attack during penis enlargement surgery at a Paris clinic. 65-year-old Ehud Arye Laniado apparently gave up the ghost after an unknown substance was injected into his dick, which would probably be my reaction, too.

According to The Sun — the go-to source for billionaire penis enhancement mishap news — the billionaire

suffered from a so-called Napoleon complex due his short stature.

An old friend of Laniado … said that [he] was “always focused on his appearance and how others perceived him.”

According to Laniado’s friends, the only time he forgot about his short height was when he asked his accountant to read out his bank statement, something which he did multiple times a day, it was reported.

Poor fella.

No one, it seems, is taking the news of Laniado’s death harder than the incels — who have naturally made it all about themselves.

On the forums, one prolific commenter called ShrodingersDick declares that

No amount of money can make up for dickletism + manletism combo.. that’s a deadly combo right there

Meanwhile, a commenter called Looksmaxxcel laments that

If you fall short on height and looks, no matter how hard you bust your ass to accomplish something, it will always amount to nothing if you are undesirable to women. 

This article alone should shut down the … bullshit that we aren’t trying hard enough.

Of course, as the incels see it, some hypothetical woman has got to be to blame for Laniado’s undignified demise. “You just know this was caused when some model laughed at his dick,” declares an extremely prolific commenter called NEETandTidy.

NoMoreSlaving — the very same fellow whose thoughts on underwear and penis size I discussed the other day — is blaming a different hypothetical woman, claiming that Laniado “[p]robably was operated on by some diversity quota french slut.”

While the commenters on all feel sorry for themselves, not all of them feel bad about Laniado’s death.

Upon learning that the billionaire was Jewish, one commenter declared “good riddance,” and other commenters quickly chimed in to agree. Indeed, one commenter has apparently convinced himself that the billionaire, sneaky Jew that he was, probably faked his own death, presumably for some sneaky Jew reason.

“(((Billionaires))) fake their deaths all the time,” he asserts.

And this story is a cheap manipulation which will unfortunately work on the soyim: “But why would he fake his death IN THIS WAY? Exposing to the public that he has a micropeen? Huehuehue. No way.”

Over on the Braincels subreddit — Reddit’s main incel forum — the regulars have managed to avoid anti-Semitic outbursts so far, and are concentrating instead on the alleged injustice of it all.

“Imagine working all your life to become a billionaire and owner of an internationally successful company just to die during a penis enlargement surgery,” writes one commenter.

“Jesus christ I wanna die,” adds another.

Somehow wahmen are more objectifeid yet billionare male gets their genitals ruined for womens sake.

Other incel Redditors, meanwhile, are sharing the results of their own research into penis enlargement. And at least one of them is undaunted by the news of Laniado’s demise.

“For girth you literally inject plexiglass (PMMA) into your dick.” writes someone called -dot. “I will probably have it done next year.”

Uh, I would suggest that maybe you don’t do that? Because whatever it is that’s causing women to not want to date you, I’m pretty sure that approximately zero percent of it has to do with what’s in your pants, and that nearly 100 percent of it has to do with all the incel bullshit in your head. But best of luck, I guess?

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Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
3 years ago

@ Ignore Sandra,

In particular, I struggle with shoes. Women’s size 15s, so…most of my shoes are men’s 14s instead.

My go-to for years (until I discovered unisex blundstones, but if you want cute shoes this is a good spot):

Lol, David, i promise I am not a corporate plant put here to advertise! Us tall ladies gotta stick together, is all… ?

Re mens height,
I didn’t really do the whole dating thing, but I have to say that height would NOT have been an important consideration for me! And my husband is, to the cm, the exact same height as me (until he’s tired and slouching, in which case he’s shorter than me).

Nanny Oggs Busom
Nanny Oggs Busom
3 years ago


Yeah, I have body image issues and I got ou of my way not to be an arse to people. We all have our issues, only an arse takes them out on other people rather than getting help for them. It’s taken me years, but learning to reject thin = healthy and toxic attitudes, I’m slowly getting to a point of accepting myself. I don’t take my confusion out on others, because I’ve learnt to analyse why I behave the way I do. I don’t tell others what to do with their bodies and try not to criticise them based on their bodies.

@Jane Doe,

Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that as a working class, disabled person with lifelong body image issues I wasn’t allowed to feel empathy for a fellow human being suffering from such body image issues. I’ll remember next time, that only people you approve of are allowed to be empathised with./sarcasm, much sarcasm.

I might not like a person, how they make a living or their behaviour, but I’m capable of feeling empathy for their troubles. And I’m also capable of wondering about the interplay between that behaviour and feelings of body image anxiety. Amazingly, it’s possible to empathise with people, consider the formation of their issues, toxic social messages and disagree with their behaviour, business practices and politics.

As Catalpa says, I’m not going to lose sleep over a billionaire but it would be nice not to live in a world where people aren’t made to feel crap for decades because of toxic mindsets, and no one, even if they’re an exploitative arsehole, should be subject to such toxic cultures.

3 years ago

wwth –

“Manlets” are quite attractive to me. Unless of course they’re in a constant misogynistic rage about it.

Word. There is nothing quite so unattractive as misogynistic rage, no matter how pretty the package!

Jane Done and Kat – Another ex-temp here, thirding the “interesting people” thing! I really liked being a temp but never getting any paid time off (not even holidays) got old, though that was starting to change by the time I quit to go back to school in the mid 90s.

3 years ago

For what it’s worth, I’ve heard people who aren’t raging insecure hatemongers suggest he may have faked his death as well. Not really much evidence for it, though, and a lot of people have said in response that he’d be unlikely to fake his death in a way that makes him the subject of mockery, but there’s always the “that’s what he wanted you to think!” factor.

3 years ago


Yeah, I got my current one and only pair of ballet flats (As well as my heels and knee-high boots) from long tall sally. Which was annoying since I live way out in the country and it’s sometimes iffy getting deliveries here.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
3 years ago

Somewhat OT, but the chronically immature, forever-8-years-old part of my brain has just noticed the phrase “incels are taking it hard” and is giggling hysterically in the corner ?

(Alternatively, it sounds like the come-on for some skeevy site dealing in non-consensual pegging porn or something. “Hot incels are taking it hard in your neighborhood right now!!!” ?)

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
3 years ago

@ Cat Mara,

Ewwwwwwww! ?

Jane Done
Jane Done
3 years ago

@Catalpa, Nanny Oggs Busom:

I understand. You’re right that, capitalist exploitation notwithstanding, body shaming is never ok.

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