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Captain Marvel haters’ devastating new takedown of Brie Larson: “She’s named after a cheese”

The existence of this cheese proves that Brie Larson is a terrible actress, somehow

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By David Futrelle

Angry superhero movie fans have discovered what they see as a deeply unsettling fact about the lead actress in the Captain Marvel film that hits theaters this Friday, whom they have collectively decided to hate because she thinks people other than white men should have some say in movie criticism, or something: Brie Larson’s first name is the same as the name of a popular French cheese!

Apparently this is all the more reason to hate her.

Eric B
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@Eric_Belleau
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@brielarson is an insufferable cunt. A below average actress at best named after a cheese.

Oh, but it gets worse: Some of them have given her unflattering cheese-based nicknames!

J.C. (the Creature) remembers Stan Lee
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@TheCreatureHero
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Replying to @rizzydraws
Yeah. Brie Larson is scum. I like to call her "crazy cheese woman" because her first name is actually also the name of a type of cheese

Not only that, but the cheese in question is RUNNY!

patricia stewart
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@beesknees1960
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Replying to @RubinReport
And who can take a girl named after runny french cheese seriously? @brielarson just another SJW wannabe. stifle yourself birdbrain!

The dudes with NPC avatars are on the case:

Mark ™️
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@PUR3FILTH
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Replying to @JoeNumbas
Brie Larson is so unlikeable, I’d take Brie Bella over her.. heck I’d take the cheese Brie over her

This fellow is struck by the irony that the cheese in question is WHITE.

Arqahn
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@Arqahn
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Replying to @MarvelStudios
Brie Larson (white woman named after white cheese) worried about too many white men involved with the movie publicity tour. In keeping with her wishes I hope white people boycott this movie.   
#boycott 
#WhitePrivilege

I was a little concerned that Mr Solo’s burn (below) wasn’t quite sick enough. But then I saw the crying-laughing emoji. BAM!

Dan Solo
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@Hollywood_Solo
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Replying to @RuinTheManbaby @brielarson
She is no star. She is a cheese

Then this bad boy with an Elon Musk wearing an eyepatch avatar kicked it up another notch by adding a thumbs-up emoji after the laughing-crying one. DOUBLE BAM!

Jon Brovi
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@tokemonbro
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Brie Larson is no Gal Gadot. Brie has the charisma and charm of mouldy french cheese. Hence the name

And get this: Some of Brie’s critics don’t even bother to use her first name — they just call her “Cheese Larson!” TRIPLE BAM! Fourth graders have nothing on these insult-slingers!

(((Val Washington)))
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Replying to @JackPosobiec
MARVEL WAS FULLY CREATED BY WHITE MALES: Stan Lee being the greatest if them all. Blonde Cheese Larson wouldn't have thus gig if a white male at Marvel hadn't approve this stupid cross dressed Captain Marvel. Why can't she be humble and thankful for the opportunity?
#stanlee
Noway Neophobic "Jeremy" loves Alita Battleangel
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@nowayneophobic
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Replying to @MrGournalist @desert_starr_57
I love WW. Shes an AWESOME Character. Like Alita.

But not this Matriarchy Bot Cheese Larson.

Damn, the crazy cheese lady is also a “Matriarchy Bot?” Wouldn’t the runny cheese gum up the gears?

I guess I probably shouldn’t try to think these through too much. Clearly the people posting them didn’t.

Regardless, it’s not clear to me if “Cheese” Larson will ever be able to recover from these devastating burns.

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Pagan Reader - Misandrist Spinster

Testing with a kitten sweet kitty
comment image

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
3 years ago

Pagan Reader-Misandrist Spinster, nice pic!

Hypatia's Daughter
Hypatia's Daughter
3 years ago

More Jewish comic creators:

(Superman’s) creators, Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, were the children of Jewish immigrants. The comic book industry, where they spent a significant portion of their young careers, was created in New York by Jews like Max Ginsburg, Bob Kahn, and Jacob Kurtzberg, who hid their ethnicity behind names like Gaines, Kane, and Kirby.

Many Jews had fled the growing anti-Semitism in Germany and other European countries.
Joe Shuster was an artist born in Toronto, Canada and Jerry Siegel was an American writer; they met in high school in Chicago in 1933.
Joe Shuster was a cousin of comedian Frank Shuster of the Canadian comedy team Wayne and Shuster.
Superman was also a dedicated NAZI puncher.
I am always amused that the motto of Superman, co-created by a Jewish Canadian, is “Truth, justice and the American way.”
(And that “America’s Sweetheart,” Mary Pickford, was also born in Toronto.)

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
3 years ago

@Fabe

Of course, if Contract Jack knew that, he’d probably immediately change his screed to “See? SJWs hate free speech!”

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
3 years ago

@Talonknife:

Yep. Beowulf.

…only the tree-defacement reference is left unidentified.

Ariblester
3 years ago

Pagan Reader – Misandrist Spinster wrote on
March 6, 2019 at 7:06 pm:

Testing with a kitten sweet kitty
http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2706/4483432758_23daeeb9b3_z.jpg

Nice!

(For the benefit of others: Because WHTM is still running on HTTP, if you want to post a pic you need to copy the http:// URL, and not the https:// URL)

Ariblester
3 years ago

Crip Dyke wrote on
March 6, 2019 at 7:19 pm:

@Talonknife:

Yep. Beowulf.

…only the tree-defacement reference is left unidentified.

Sounds of furious Googling

(Enter SLITGUT with a pair of ox-horns, discovering Cuckold’s Haven above.)

Slit. All hail, fair haven of married men only! for there are none but married men cuckolds. For my part, I presume not to arrive here but in my master’s behalf, a poor butcher of Eastcheap, who sends me to set up, in honor of Saint Luke, these necessary ensigns of his homage. And up I got this morning, thus early, to get up to the top of this famous tree, that is all fruit and no leaves, to advance this crest of my master’s occupation.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
3 years ago

@ Pagan Reader,

I had the same reaction! I wouldn’t have gone to see this film otherwise; the misogynists’ reactions convinced me I should. As they did for Fury Road.

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

@Hypatia: I think the “American way” part got stuck in in the 1950s, much like how “Under God” was added to the Pledge of Allegiance. The 1930s Superman cartoons (which are worth seeking out, BTW) simply describe him “fighting a never-ending battle for Truth and Justice!”

Ottery
3 years ago

Brie is very tasty though! It’s good on crackers (rosemary and sesame are my faves), and at a restaurant I worked for we sliced it in half, filled it with sliced apples that were sauteed in cinnamon brandy (that part was my favourite because I got to set it on fire!), then wrapped in puff pastry and baked! It was so tasty!

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
3 years ago

@ Crip Dyke @ Alan Robertshaw

Sorry to be late to the party. On the subject of ambassadors and parking charges, a scene in the West Wing played for humour has President Bartlett, angry about something else, blasting the Secretary General* over the phone on this very subject. I forget which episode.

*Or rather, as Bartlett’s PA points out, probably the SG’s secretary. Which, for me, takes a little of the fun away.

Oh, and:

The bit about tail/vulva is also interesting. But surely the correct term is vagina.

I am naming Crip Dyke as Humour Chief of the Internet today. I would have rolled on the floor laughing if I didn’t have a sleeping dog on my lap.

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
3 years ago

@ Ottery

Brie is very tasty though!

I concur. I couldn’t bear to eat it all through my teens because I went on a school exchange to France when I was 11 and we visited a cheese factory (pretty sure it was actually Camembert, but same principle).

Short version: the aphorism about not watching laws and sausages being made should be extended to include cheese.

Longer version: the factory had a series of rooms for ageing. The first had fresh milk, the second slightly sour milk, the third very sour milk, and so on. The room immediately before the finished product smelled so darn awful and for years that was the memory I accessed when I looked at Brie and Camembert. Thankfully I’m over it now.

Conclusion: if you’re a cheese fan and someone invites you to a cheese factory, politely decline unless you’re seriously considering veganism.

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
3 years ago

I thought it was Thesmophoriazusae (because of the cross-dressing), but I guess that doesn’t quite fit either.

Katamount
Katamount
3 years ago

@Schnookums

You know, I’m going to concede that they shouldn’t have used Carol Danvers as Captain Marvel, they absolutely should have used a classic character that held the mantle for years.

I of course am referring to Monica Rambeau, who was Captain Marvel AND a black woman back in 1982, so the only argument about forced diversity would be from whiny pissbabies and fake geek boys who don’t know their comic history.

Thank you! I thought I was the only one clamouring for a Monica Rambeau/Captain Marvel film! She will be in the film, but as a younger incarnation, so I’ve been told.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
3 years ago

The Cloak & Dagger series produced for some premium download service or other (it’s good! Watch it!) takes place in New Orleans & substantially involves a bay / harbor area.

Since Rambeau was a New Orleans cop and then (after friction with corrupt cops) in the harbor patrol, a great place to introduce her would be Cloak & Dagger.

The only downside is that despite the setting being perfect and the quality of the show being high, the viewership is probably low given the exclusive streaming format. Still, I’d love to see her in that show, maybe even getting her origin there before getting her own show later…

@Weatherwax

I am naming Crip Dyke as Humour Chief of the Internet today.

I do try. I’m glad to have served you well.

Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

O/T; but to quote a spaghetti western (can’t remember which one): “Jesus, that boy don’t ever learn”.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/mar/07/tommy-robinson-to-face-fresh-contempt-of-court-proceedings

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
3 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw, I’ve seen it suggested that Yaxley-Lennon does this deliberately, as a scam: get arrested, and immediately post a call for donations from his devotees, purportedly to help protect him from terrible legal oppressionses.

Raise a fair bit of dosh, serve a tiny sentence, keep the money.

Does that sound plausible?

Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ opposable thumbs

That does indeed sound very plausible. Plus all the martyr thing. And contempt proceedings aren’t technically convictions so they don’t even go on your criminal record. Although he’s already got one for fraud.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
3 years ago

@Alan, @opposable thumbs: It certainly sounds like the modus operandi of the Comicsgate hucksters milking the manufactroversy surrounding Captain Marvel and other comics properties, viz.:

1. Whine about how the evil SJWs are subverting the comics you new and loved with their filthy (please tick one or more of): ❏ political correctness; ❏ identity politics; ❏ cuckoldry; ❏ cultural Marxism; ❏ other non-specified right-wing dogwhistle.
2. Promise that for the low low price of $X, you– yes, you!– can strike a blow for FREEZE PEACH by backing me on [insert crowdfunding platform of choice] to produce the two-fisted tales of CAPTAIN WHITE MALE POWER FANTASY!! Gloat as he punches down, not up! Gasp at dialogue so hackneyed your 8yo nephew would be ashamed to have written it! Furtively masturbate at female characters in poses so contorted it’ll keep Escher Girls in posts for years! Years!
3. Produce a few desultory comics (if any), then abscond with the rest of the loot.
4. Point and laugh from a safe distance while the crowfunding platform’s laughable excuse for a fraud-resolution procedure rapidly kicks into ass-covering mode
5. Lather, rinse, repeat

This has occurred AFAIK numerous times and the rubes keep on coming. It may soon be necessary to amend Barnum’s (?) maxim to state that no-one ever lost money underestimating the bitterness of inadequate white men.

Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ cat mara & opposable thumbs

He’s got lawyers anyway. And even if he was impoverished, the court just appoints one. Even if it’s contempt in the face of the court so dealt with there and then.

It’s called a ‘dock brief’. The judge just points at the nearest barrister and says “you’re now acting for them”; and we have that cab rank rule so we can’t say no.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
3 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw: Yeah, they have that “taxi rank” rule for barristers in the Irish courts too, though it doesn’t stop the silks trying to cherry-pick the cases they think will look good on their CVs. If the local scandal-sheets are to be believed, a number of former barristers who went on to bigger and better things were notorious for doing so during their legal careers *cough* allegedly *cough* former Presidents of Ireland *cough very dusty in here all of a sudden cough cough* ?

Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

Heh, I’ve done cases in the Irish Supreme Court. I love it there; but they have some strange rules.

“Hi, would you mind putting out a tannoy for opposing counsel in X case?”

“Sure, who is it?”

“No idea”

“But we only ask for people by name!”

And the judges once insisted my client pay a €25,000 deposit before we could continue an appeal.

“I’ll ask the solicitors to arrange a telegraphic transfer”

“No, cash. We know what your boy is like”

Who?
Who?
3 years ago

Anyone seen the movie? I will not get to it right away.
About comicgate it is worth to notice that that started with some female editors posting a picture of themselves drinking milkshakes.
That is even more pathetic than gamersgate and sad puppies.
And non-white not male superheroes have existed for a long time.
(Captain Marvel had her first series not under the name Captain Marvel in the 70es)
I am ashamed that we have to fight fights again, that should have been over before I was born.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
3 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw: The latest bit of court-related scuttlebutt here is the Master of the High Court taking a hammer to the windows of his office because he claims they’re inadequately ventilated— an Irish solution to an Irish problem, methinks.

Robert
Robert
3 years ago

Ariblester – thank you for the link! I was intrigued by the trope in the play of indolent layabouts running off to Virginia to make a quick fortune, given that that was exactly the aim of many of the earliest settlers at Jamestown. In 1608, the Virginia Company brought in a group of German colonists who tried to start a glass factory; apparently, they found the English colonists so disappointing they defected to join the Powhatans.

Ottery – I’ve made crostini with thinly sliced baguette, pesto and melted Brie.

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