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#gamergate drama kings entitled babies evil imaginary ladies gamebros men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny no girls allowed special snowflaking vaginas

More like Battlefield VAGINA! Doofuses attack imaginary video game ladies by all making the same dumb joke

Oh that’s clever, bet no one’s thought of this yet

By David Futrelle

So the gamebros are up in arms about the fifth installment in the Battlefield series, Battlefield V, because the game, set in World War II, has LADIES in it, which makes it TOTALLY UNREALISTIC because there were NO LADIES in WWII, well ok maybe there were actually a bunch of ladies in WWII, some of them serving in combat even but goddammit WHY CAN’T OUR MALE SPACE BE SACRED ah bloo bloo bloo.

So anyway a bunch of these broflakes have decided to fight the female menace … by all posting the same dumb joke.

https://twitter.com/DordTheGhost/status/999705460885344263

https://twitter.com/Daimuzu/status/999548810450866176

https://twitter.com/TiddieSlapsII/status/999537983329112065

https://twitter.com/GearsofSkorge/status/999417263978672130

https://twitter.com/muricanmuslim/status/999406430364098561

https://twitter.com/dualbIades/status/999396908979376128

https://twitter.com/niggat1ve/status/999395932809637889

https://twitter.com/fioquattro/status/999382176427802625

https://twitter.com/yourincelmcm/status/999733482522755072

Gotta love all those Tweeters with anime avatars complaining that Battlefield V isn’t “realistic” enough. YOU KNOW PEOPLE’S EYES AREN’T THAT BIG IN REAL LIFE RIGHT?

https://twitter.com/QuackityHD/status/999400107358420992

https://twitter.com/GiometryE/status/999396333147557889

https://twitter.com/DaPaperAssassin/status/999405219447492608

https://twitter.com/GioTomelleri/status/999409215981735941

https://twitter.com/xDANIEDx/status/999420817443344384

https://twitter.com/BondAkshay/status/999680270126145536

https://twitter.com/OldRowSwig/status/999643253438853120

https://twitter.com/OldRowSwig/status/999690305841414145

Well that’s enough of that. There are more. Many, many, many more.

Even if you don’t speak German I think you can probably figure out what that last one is saying.

It’s always a bit amusing to me when dudes get mad about asskicking female characters in video games, claiming that these characters are “unrealistic” or “historically inaccurate.” VIDEO GAMES AREN’T REALISTIC. THAT’S WHY WE LIKE TO PLAY THEM. In real life, hedgehogs mosey along through the grass at about one-billionth of a mile an hour; in video games you can play a blue hedgehog that speeds through an assortment of surreal  landscapes at supersonic speeds.

In real wars, if you get shot, you fall down injured and maybe even die; in video games you can barrel ahead after being hit multiple times — and regenerate your health by hiding behind something for a few seconds.

I think these gifs say all that need to be said about the “unrealistic ” complaints.

 

115 replies on “More like Battlefield VAGINA! Doofuses attack imaginary video game ladies by all making the same dumb joke”

Night Witches, The Rose of Leningrad, Soviet female soldiers generally, UK SOE agents Noor Inayat Khan GC, Violette Szabo GC…

Lyudmila Pavlichenko and Aleksandra Samusenko might disagree with these definitions of “realistic”; however, I suspect that many of these people won’t know who they were.

(For those who don’t know, they were both famous female Soviet military heroes in the second world war. Pavlichenko was a sniper, one of the most successful in history, and Samusenko was a tank commander within the formation that took Berlin. It is my understanding that the “-enko” surname means they’re both Ukrainians, or at least have Ukrainian names, but I am not Ukrainian and so do not know this for certain.)

On the subject of historical accuracy, though, you can see briefly in the trailer a Churchill Gun Carrier. That this is acting in frontline service is in fact even more absurd than a woman doing the same, because while women certainly saw combat during WW2, the same can not be said of the Churchill Gun Carrier, which was (correctly) considered a failure, and thus never put into production, let alone into service.

Well crap. I guess I have to re-learn how to play an FPS so I can get this game.

Nothing like an obvious joke that everyone feels a need to mindlessly tweet. I saw the Milner tweets, but don’t follow games at all and am glad to have an explanation now though 🙏

Anyone want to lay odds that the number of these people who have played Metroid games and enjoyed them, or watched Aliens films and liked them, is greater than 0%?

My mom was in WW 2, in combat, with a unit citation for continuing to operate the medical facility while being shelled by German artillery. Belgium, 1945

Nothing like a bunch of tantrum-throwing pissbabies crying about “politics” being in a game about war.

https://m.popkey.co/64d437/Lqx18.gif

And of course, the people who clearly need a history lesson before they can go about being pissy about the “historical accuracy” of a video game.

Can this stupid ass excuse just die already? Battlefield and other war games have never been about “historical accuracy”, it’s always been about blowing things up and pretending to be a badass you perfectly tepid shit puddle.

I’ll buy this game and never play it just to fucking spite these cockbites. I hate EA with the fire of a thousand suns, but I hate them with the fire of a thousand and one.

They can die mad for all I care.

They can die mad for all I care.

Oh, they will… THEY WILL!!

To the guy who says that ninety-five percent of soldiers in the Second World War were male, I say… great, it’s a deal? One in every twenty soldiers in all WW2 games will be women and no one’s allowed to complain about there being too many women anymore.

But of course this is Dale Spender’s research at work, and the presence of any female characters (except for family members, sex workers, and all-purpose damsels) will be too many female characters for jerkwads like this guy. The “ninety-five percent” is just a number pulled out of his ass to gesture towards “rationality.”

I think my favourite part of this is that these are literal word-for-word copy-pastes of their “Complaints” about Battlefield 1…

… Which they all ended up buying anyway.

These are the same males who tell women and minorities to stop complaining about certain things in video games but it’s ok when they do it.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, FemiNest Collective agent, Hell Toupee keeper & Intergalactic Meaniesays:

So this game has X-Men-style mutant horses and proto-Transformer planes? Kewl!! Sounds like a good investment for funtimes to me. XD

(I’m guessing the bit with the two planes is that the lower plane at least should have done a crash and burn when smacked like that by the higher plane. Or did I misinterpret what the inaccuracy there was?)

Whelp, my twitter timeline just reported to me that Jon Bain (TotalBiscuit), has died.

I’m kinda conflicted. I felt like he was an ass (and a bit of a bigot at that), but he did have a lot of good points about the game industry, and he was friends with Jim Sterling who’s a pretty swell dude, so I guess there must be something that was redeeming about him?

Nothing like an obvious joke that everyone feels a need to mindlessly tweet

What’s so “obvious” about this “joke”?

I went to look at the trailer for this game and it looks pretty fun! Not realistic, but – I mean come on gamer doods, realistic FPSes don’t exist. A realistic World War Two shooter would involve you and a gang of fourty others like you huddling behind brush and debris, plinking away in the general direction of the shots being fired at you.

If you want realism, play Hearts of Iron or something. If you want a fun shooter experience, this looks great.

@RedSilkPhoenix: The bit with two planes isn’t shot by a disembodied camera; it’s from the viewpoint of a human pilot as he ejects from one plane, freefalls into the cockpit of the other, and takes off running.

Reality is now unrealistic. As it as been mentionned ad nauseam already. There were several female fighter during WWII. Most of them served in the Eastern front amongst soviet troops where some even achieved fame and honors as snipers, pilots, tank commanders, etc. It’s also good to mention that on the Western front, about 20 to 30% of the combattant of the French Resistence were women (which is rather common for insurgency groups of that nature). Not having any female representation of combattant in a historical game set in the 20th century is actually unrealistic for there hasn’t been a single major conflict that didn’t saw a certain number of female combattant.

The term they are all searching for is, uncommon, it’s uncommon to find women serving openly in combat roles and that’s the issue. They all know (or at least the majority of them know) it’s not unrealistic or inaccurate to have women fighters in a WWII setting, but they do know it was uncommon. To defend their views of women they need to enforce this illusion that women can’t and won’t fight for their friends, familly and country. It’s exactly like the same kind of people that think that if shit goes down, women will scurry back behind a male protector and accept his leadership and recognise his superiority; that feminism can only exist in an advanced and peaceful State.

They remind me of the guys who ”joke” about feminists (and women in general) being completly helpless in front of terrorist groups like ISIS, ignoring hte fact that nearly half of all kurdish fighters, those who dealt ISIS it’s most severe blow, were women; that the commanding officer who took Raqqa, their capital was women, all of which under the banner of an explicitly feminist millitia. To me, it’s a form of denialism, historical revisionism and propaganda. While the impact of women fighter might have been very modest during WWII, it still isn’t negligible (or deniable), especially for the French and Russian who needed their actions as they were facing terrible odds.

Plus, in terms of gameplay, more options is almost always better and this is an option that is neither detrimental, neither historically inaccurate or breaking with the theme of the game.

Historical Accuracy? Firstly, plenty of women served in WWII– it’s really silly and requires alot of mental gymnastics to believe otherwise.

Secondly, the last Battlefield game I played was Battlefield Vietnam. I don’t think that game was very good or accurate at all; Though one can never be completely certain, there’s high doubt in my mind that anyone was blasting Deep Purple from a tank, jeep, or APC during The Battle of Hue. I mean, I feel like kicking out the jams would have been the last thing on anyone’s mind given the circumstances.

…But hey, that’s just me.

Since others have already mentioned the Night Witches, may as well post this.

@ Paradoxical

…whoa, seriously? Geez, I haven’t thought about him in a while. I knew his reputation, so I’ve kind of avoided his stuff, but the little I’ve seen him in (a crossover LP of Terraria with Jesse Cox), I did enjoy listening to him.

Is there a word for that emotion when you’re on the cusp of feeling sad about someone’s death, but not quite there, so it’s more “disturbed” than “sad?”

@Paradoxical Intention – Resident Cheeseburger Slut
Shit. I feel conficted. Like I hated the guy, one of my first posts was me basically saying “I hate that guy, I hope he spends his time with his family instead of spreading GG.” Then again he died at 33 and had a wife and kid who had to witness their loved one endure life threatening illness multiple times.

You are not seeing things, people. We are in a situation where EA has the moral high ground.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, FemiNest Collective agent, Hell Toupee keeper, & Intergalactic Meaniesays:

@Nentuaby,

I was wondering what was going on in that sequence, having never played a FPS-style game before, let alone any Battlefield game. So the off-ness there was the pilot running in the air like Wiley E. Coyote, then?

So this game has superpowered horses, proto-Transformer airplanes, and Warner Bro. characters running around. Did I sum up those clips right?

I don’t know what to say about the death of TB/John Bain, other than what’s already stated and he gave his kid a cool name. Hopefully, his kith and kin will be able to cope and progress.

On a note more directly connected to the post at hand, I’m surprised no-one’s brought up that Shadman is in the tweets…

@Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement

On a note more directly connected to the post at hand, I’m surprised no-one’s brought up that Shadman is in the tweets…

I was trying to ignore the hardcore porn artist’s tweet.

Ray of Rays wrote:

Is there a word for that emotion when you’re on the cusp of feeling sad about someone’s death, but not quite there, so it’s more “disturbed” than “sad?”

“Bummed out”, perhaps? Or is that still too intense?

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement wrote:

On a note more directly connected to the post at hand, I’m surprised no-one’s brought up that Shadman is in the tweets…

(TIL my adblocker actually prevents me from seeing the tweets people were replying to.) The man’s a self-proclaimed edgelord who thrives off people getting offended by his creative output, so I’m hardly surprised.

“Yeah, V for VAGINA… like I’ll never have in real life. Also ‘Battlefield’… which I’m such a chicken(bleep) I’ll never be on one of those in real life, either”.

So, these twerps are angry they can’t fake fight in a fake war with no fake girls around.

The girls in WWII, even the ones without guns, took risks that would make their little nads melt. Rose Villand risked death every day to listen in on SS conversations, without letting them know she spoke German, to track stolen artworks and keep track of war crimes. Every one of the chumps complaining about this ridiculous shyte would have undoubtedly turned her in out of fear.

Reality is now unrealistic. As it as been mentionned ad nauseam already. There were several female fighter during WWII. Most of them served in the Eastern front amongst soviet troops where some even achieved fame and honors as snipers, pilots, tank commanders, etc.

One of Russia’s top snipers was a woman, Lyudmilla Pavelochenko.

309 kills.

BD1 wrote:

The girls in WWII, even the ones without guns, took risks that would make their little nads melt. Rose Villand risked death every day to listen in on SS conversations, without letting them know she spoke German, to track stolen artworks and keep track of war crimes. Every one of the chumps complaining about this ridiculous shyte would have undoubtedly turned her in out of fear.

There is actually quite a lot of goalpost-shifting in the debate I’ve seen on Twitter, going something like this:

“Battlefield V’s description of WWII is unrealistic!”

“Battlefield games were never meant to be realistic in their depiction of war.”

“Nuh-uh! The developers said that they tried to be historically accurate.”

“Accurate to a point; it’s a video game, after all. And women did serve in the armed forces during WWII.”

“Not in combat vocations!”

“Yes, they did. Google Lyudmilla Pavelochenko.”

“That was the Soviets! The woman depicted in the picture is from the Western allies!”

Et cetera.

Gamebros doofuses: so effin’ boring; they can’t come up with one new joke?

Worse, they’re shameless about it?

C’mon, guys, try harder.

1943

Despite the occupation Audrey draws herself more deeply into music and dance, finding an outlet for her talents in a series of “blackout performances,” held in secret with locked windows and drawn blinds. They also serve as a fundraising activity for the Resistance. During the war Audrey also acts as a courier and occasional secret messenger for the Resistance, as children often did, carrying messages and illegal leaflets stuffed in socks and shoes.

https://www.audrey1.org/biography/16/audrey-hepburn-timeline-1929-1949

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTNhTVt00OoE3XVqZx-5pExv0m_cMMG8KNbBwCNNcANW8KMVqnG

Sorry for those half-complete postings, which didn’t show up until it was too late for me to edit them. And I tried to post a photo but was unsuccessful.

I’m gonna add the beauteous, charming Audrey Hepburn, who had a strong sense of morality and was on the right side of history, to the list of Resistance heroes. I’ve read in at least one biography of her that as a child and then as a young teenager, she would hop on her bike to carry messages for the Dutch Resistance, which were tucked into her socks.

1943

Despite the occupation Audrey draws herself more deeply into music and dance, finding an outlet for her talents in a series of “blackout performances,” held in secret with locked windows and drawn blinds. They also serve as a fundraising activity for the Resistance. During the war Audrey also acts as a courier and occasional secret messenger for the Resistance, as children often did, carrying messages and illegal leaflets stuffed in socks and shoes.

https://www.audrey1.org/biography/16/audrey-hepburn-timeline-1929-1949

All this ranting about gaming and vaginas is just giving me flashbacks to my (tabletop and mostl female) gaming group and our off-topic conversation about beefy vaginas. Not beefy as in roasties, no no no, but beefy as in “the vagina is a muscle, and we can therefore imagine the kinds of fantastical feats it might be used to perform, just like other ridiculous feats of strength can happen in this game.”

Featuring such hits as:
“Honey, I can’t get this jar open.”
“Okay, give it here.” *mimes unzipping pants*

“Oh no, that building down the street is on fire and we need to open the fire hydrant!”
“I got this.” (You may imagine the accompanying gesture to this statement at your leisure.)

And of course “Never skip vagina day.”

…This was far from the weirdest conversation that we had, although it might have been the one that gave me the worst stitch from laughing so hard.

On top of being stupid and misogynistic, those “hurr hurr, a vagina…. exists!” jokes are just lazy.

Few things make my laugh harder than these guys getting salty about women in games and movies.

I mean: how to wear your insecurities on your sleeve or what?

The stand out one for me was:

Not even being misogynistic, 95%+ of soldiers were male, the chances of finding female fighters on the battlefield were slim to none, let alone transgender female disabled fighters.

No, dude, that chance is about 1 in 20.

Did somebody say “dumb, obvious jokes”?
*bursts through wall like Kool-Aid Man*
It should be Battlefield Viagra, amirite?

One of the things that also bothers me about these outbursts (besides the casual lazy misogyny) is that these folks, by virtue of being men, are somehow entitled to a share of “glory” because it was men fighting. It gets a little personal for me because I did volunteer and serve in the Army (and I do understand there’s a lot of complicated things about our military culture, to put it kindly). These are the sort of people who want to puff out their chests and say “Us MEN were the ones fighting, not the wimmenz!” and I just want to say “What do you mean, *US*? I don’t recall seeing you out there.”

(Excuse the rambling, I’m tired and had a bit too much to drink. And I don’t want this to come off as uncritically praising the military. I’m proud of my time in the Army, but I was damn lucky that I wasn’t placed in a situation where I had to do some really shitty things, unlike some)

@Uly

The night witches were easily some of the biggest badasses in WW2, and there’s a great song about them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vRg039MTQg
Yeah, I know most people probably expect the Sabaton one, but I like the Hail of Bullets song better, and I think the lyrics (posted in the description) are far superior. That last verse is one of my favorites in music history.

Anyway, in case it hasn’t been brought up yet, there was this whole issue with the last Battlefield game that makes all the manbaby screeching even more pathetic. Back when they were developing Battlefield 1 (which was what it was called, despite not being the first game in the series), they said the developers said they weren’t gonna make it completely true to history, but rather focus on making it fun and unique. One of the things they promised was to include playable female character, despite it being a WW1 game, and there weren’t really any women fighting in WW1 as far as I know. But again, they were intentionally making the game inaccurate to make it more fun.
But then at some point, they declared that there wouldn’t be any women in the game afterall, because that would be “inaccurate”…and yet they kept all the other wildly inaccurate shit in the game. One woman, who I think worked on the game or at least had something to do with it, talked about how disappointed she was in this decision and their nonsense reason for it. And of course, to gamers this story translated as “feminists are outraged because they won’t put women in this game even though it’s historically inaccurate!”, because of course it did.
So now with this new game, it’s set in WW2, where many women actually did fight, and they still don’t give a shit about historical accuracy, and yet the gamerbabies are flooding their diapers over how inaccurate it is because a woman is in it. But the fact that she has a metal claw hand, that part they’re ok with! No, seriously, she has a metal fucking claw for a hand, and all the people throwing a tantrum over “inaccuracy” aren’t even talking about it.

I haven’t done much gaming over the past year, and the Battlefield games were never my thing anyway. But I just picked up Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus, and it’s been pretty cathartic mowing down hordes of Nazis. Who knew that would seem so relevant to the present day?

EJ (the other one)

It is my understanding that the “-enko” surname means they’re both Ukrainians, or at least have Ukrainian names, but I am not Ukrainian and so do not know this for certain.

you are correct that names with this ending origin in Ukraine but does not mean that they are Ukrainian people. for example, Samusenko right now is most common for Russian cidizen, not Ukrainians. Lyudmila Pavlichenko is Ukranian but I think Alexandra Samusenko is not.

My great aunt Nelda Little won a Bronze Star during the Battle of the Bulge.

Mind you, this was before the medal was turned into a “You showed up” medal for officers in Vietnam, later reaching a disgusting degree during Granada, when plane loads of desk jockeys were shipped into the war zone, allowed to step off the plane, and then shipped back home clutching their medal..

In WWII, the Bronze Star meant something. In my aunt’s case, it meant that she volunteered to stay in Bastogne, working the communications center when they evacuated all the other WACs working there, afraid of what would happen to them if the Germans took the town. The Germans very nearly did. At one point they completely surrounded the town, and asked for surrender. This was the famous case where the Allied commander’s responce was “Nuts!” (For those unfamiliar with WWII slang, that responce can be roughly translated to “Not only no, but fuck no”)

She stayed and helped maintain the communications until the reenforcements arrived. She was one of the early people to receive the Bronze Star (though it was later awarded retroactively back to the beginning of the war).

Technically, she was never in combat. Technically, neither were that list of idiots quoted above.

Ok, here comes my favorite example of “unrealistic” depictions of women soldiers in an otherwise “very realistic” game. It comes from my favorite game of all: XCOM 1 & 2 (“Gatecrasher” is the name of the first mission of XCOM).

My first time playing the game, I was surprised to discover that there were women soldiers in it. And not only that, the women soldiers actually looked like… soldiers and not “sexy” bikini ninjas! The female soldiers had the same outfit and equipment as the male soldiers, and when they run, they run like women in reality do, that is, without cat walk hip sways.

I had never seen such a thing in a game before! (I know, it’s really tragic.)

But what would the gamerbros of the internet think of this? I googled it, and what I found doesn’t surprise anybody here. Of course such a silly, unrealistic thing as women soldiers (in Kevlar that actually covers the body) can not be tolerated!

I found lots of discussions complaining about the female soldiers; various “arguments” about how their existence in the game was ridiculous and UNREALISTIC and tips on how to get rid of them. The discussion also contained a nice piece of confirmation bias as the gamersbros complained about the female soldiers being scared and running away when the aliens fired at them, despite the stats (and thus the “courage”) of the soldiers having nothing to do with gender, but with experience of previous missions.

Here’s the thing. XCOM is a game where you lead an X-traterrestrial COM-bat force against aliens that have invaded the Earth. You research over-the-top plasma guns, enter space ships and occasionally mind control aliens. Among other things.

Question:

Which of the following does undoubtedly exist in real life? Is it…

A. Alien technology plasma guns
B. Shape shifting alien monsters
C. Psionic mind control
or
D. Female soldiers?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Most of my female older relatives served in WWII. Mostly in air defense.

Battlefield Vagina’s a real thing, I believe it’s the ongoing struggle for reproductive rights for women worldwide.

Also, go Ireland, hope the 8th. gets repealed today!

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