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“Biological females” are so awful men are turning to “tr*nnies,” Return of Kings declares

Hey (cis) ladies! Your Lysistrata crap won’t work on men any more, Return of Kings declares

By David Futrelle

On the lady-hating internet crap site Return of Kings, a fellow called Jimbo Jones is pig-biting mad about the widespread assumption “that men are so beholden to the vagina that their every action can be manipulated through their (heterosexual) desires … .”

It’s an idea as old, he notes, as Aristophanes’ sex-strike play Lysistrata, and as current as rapper Brooke Candy’s 2013 song “Pussy Makes the Rules.”

As Jimbo sees it, this cultural trope is as evil and pernicious as feminism itself. “There’s nothing innocuous about extolling the virtues of an ideologically weaponized vagina,” he harrumphs,

nor is there anything innocent about encouraging listeners to turn their sex organs into methods of controlling, manipulating and domineering over other people.

But now, he argues with barely concealed glee, some men are starting to make a sort of end-run around the vagina, “abandon[ing] women altogether [to] pursue the embrace of males pretending to be female.” And so, he says, you find an increasing number of “straight” men — the scare quotes are his — who are chasing after

drag queens, crossdressers, fembois, male-to-female transsexuals, t-girls, shemales and—perhaps most notably—traps (that being, men who dress as women who don’t tell their partners their real gender, oftentimes with the hopes of “converting” their boyfriends into full-time homosexuality) … .

While Jimbo is quick to assure his readers that he’s not one of these men, he also makes clear that he can sorta see where they’re coming from. Their allegedly newfound interest in what he calls “males pretending to be female” is a “wholly predictable response” to the fact that today’s “biological … females” are a bunch of mean fatties who think they’re all that.

“[W]omen today are nowhere near as attractive as they were 20 years ago,” Jimbo declares.

The Great Big Lie of third wave feminism … has convinced women that it’s okay to be morbidly obese, dyke-ish, adverse to even basic forms of hygiene and walk around with full blown mustaches, and that men will just have to change their own preconceived notions of beauty and roll with it. After all, women do have the vaginas, don’t they, and men will do anything to spill their precious seed inside them, even if it means bumping uglies with a 400-pound, smelly, tatted up Skankasaurus, right?

If anything, the rise of the femboi/trap subculture is a direct reactionary statement to the defeminization of the American woman. 

Heck, even the totally-straight-not-fooling-around-with-this-stuff Jimbo thinks that some trans porn stars are actually prettier than women he considers especially ugly.

There’s no denying it: a transsexual porn star like Sarina Valentina is unquestionably more attractive than a “real feminist” like Andrea Dworkin, while cam-tr*nny jerk-off queen Paige James is inarguably prettier than such loud and proud biological celebrity females as Lena Dunham and Leslie Jones.

Also, he adds, they’re “thinner and cleaner” than your typical feminist.

While Jimbo can’t quite decide just how gay he thinks men who have sex with “tr*nnies” really are — he thinks they’re at least a little gay — he’s pretty sure they’re basically driven to this “degeneracy” by the toxic awfulness of “real” women.

What else would drive a man who is sexually attracted to the female form into the arms, crotch and buttocks of another man with synthetic tits, a wig, and $200 worth of makeup on his face? …

Just how hideous do women have to get—physically and behaviorally—for men to say no thanks to pussy in favor of a good old fashioned rectal hammering? How can you even begin to comprehend how such fringe fetishist subcultures even came to exist without first acknowledging that women did something very, very wrong in the first place?

Since “women did something very, very wrong” is pretty much the standard Return of Kings explanation for everything they think is wrong with the world, it’s hardly surprising to see Jimbo trot it out as the explanation for why many men find trans women attractive — and some outright fetishize them.

Jimbo is torn between thinking this is wrong and gay — and thinking it’s great that “tr*nny chasers” are (at least in his fantasies) undercutting cis women in the sexual marketplace. “[A]s deplorable and decadent as it may be, ” he writes,

the shemale question proves that pussy is no longer the great cultural trump card women have over the male species. Then again, feminists only have themselves to blame for their own obsolescence: if sex is literally all you have to offer, wasn’t it just a matter of time until men found a way to get it cheaper, easier and without all of the tribal-politics nonsense?

But any of Jimbo’s readers who see sex with trans women as an ingenious solution to their inability to convince cis women to have sex with them, I hate to have to break it to you: If you’re the kind of guy who sees Roosh V’s Return of Kings as a fount of knowledge, trans women are going to find you just as repulsive as the cis women you so despise do. 

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ChimericMind
ChimericMind
4 years ago

Are we specifically talking about trans characters or performers? Because if it’s the latter, I want to bring up Maddie Blaustein, the voice of Meowth during Pokemon’s first several (and most successful) years. That kind of counts as network TV, right?

Also, as soon as I saw this guy’s name, I read the entire entry in Pamela Hayden’s voice in my mind, which put another delicious layer of irony on the whole process.

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
4 years ago
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ JS

Posted by same Creeper Boss guy.

Oh dear.

Some of my DV specialist lawyer friends have been keeping an eye on him. Originally that was because there are some real issues about third party intervention in cases of genuine abuse. Now it’s because he’s a flying more red flags than May Day in Moscow.

One glimmer of hope is that from his comments about her supposedly bad mouthing him, it may indicate his victim has raised his behaviour with people. However he does seem to still be employed by the NGO. So maybe she’s just running the clock down until she leaves. I can’t blame her.

This is concerning though:

Worried that our supervisor will not remember me (20M)

menumessages • 21d
I actually am a supervisor at an NGO and I really get where you’re coming from. Honestly the best thing you can do is just reach out to your supervisor and see if they would like to get coffee or something sometime to just chat more about their job and the NGO in general. It will show you’re interested but also leave a good impression.

Even though that was a guy asking the question, there’s just something disconcerting about his approach to professional relationships. It’s like he sees them as a surrogate for personal ones. I’ll admit my view is skewed by what we know about him. Coming from anyone else I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at the advice; but from him it’s just extra creepy, and doesn’t bode well for future employees.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

OT:

Apparently Steven Miller’s been a creep, a racist, and incel-adjacent since at least age 16. Here’s a letter he wrote to a local newspaper as a teenager:

https://www.surfsantamonica.com/ssm_site/the_lookout/letters/Letters-2002/MARCH_2002/03_27_2002_Political_Correctness_Out_of_Control.htm

My favorite part: “should any student accomplish the opportunity to have sex”. He makes it sound like a resume-builder.

It must be hard to grow up oppressed in Santa Monica.

Gussie Jives
Gussie Jives
4 years ago

My favorite part: “should any student accomplish the opportunity to have sex”. He makes it sound like a resume-builder.

I love that the intro to that clause was “And while we are on the subject of personal accomplishment…”

Aim high, Steve.

Gussie Jives
Gussie Jives
4 years ago

All the evidence we have on what would happen with sexbots is that they’ll be used as murderer- and rapist-trainers. Apparently the places that make full-body realistic sex dolls not-infrequently get returns and repairs for dolls that have been stabbed, beaten, shot, torn and mauled. So, yeah, sex robots aren’t so much a solution as they are an exacerbation.

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

Why must you do this to me, humanity?

Robert Walker-Smith
Robert Walker-Smith
4 years ago

Roy Cohn’s estate should sue Stephen Miller for a “look and feel” trademark infringement.
He’s the creepy guy other creepy guys think is creepy.
It’d be bad enough if he were a remorseless liar who promotes his anti-human schtick out of sheer self-interest, but that he actually believes the horrible things he says just puts the rotting maraschino cherry on the roadkill and refuse sundae.

JS
JS
4 years ago

That Miller letter… so much for paying attention in class.
Splitting people into liberals/conservatives at that young of an age… These days he’d probably be home-schooled to keep him away from liberal “agendas”.

@ChimericMind
I’m looking for the first trans actor/actress performer on US broadcast TV. Maddie counts. Thanks!

@Alan
Yeah, coming from anyone else, that would seem like a reasonable thing to do. But from him, the subtext of “and try to start a more personal relationship” is overwhelming the good part of “be social with your colleagues, and try to learn more about the business”.

Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
4 years ago

Robert Walker-Smith said

Regarding the OP, his exposure to and knowledge of actual trans people may actually be less than his exposure to and knowledge of cis women.

My personal experience says this is pretty much a given for the OP. Why? I have known two trans women personally (co-workers) and been acquaintances with two more (friends of friends) and this statement is one that can be applied to me!

I have learned more about trans people on this blog than from my exposure to the trans people I have known in meatspace*. And thanks to you all for that!

Also, I did not get the memo from Katie that I wasn’t to be taking so many showers! Or am I supposed to accept the fact that fat folks just be smelly? I has confooses!

*Not wanting to be an obnoxious, Nosy Nellie cis person!

Austin Loomis
4 years ago

liquid fucking gold

Apologies if I’ve linked this before, but that post reminded me of that one dating profile I saw on Tumblr that reads like the parody I devoutly hope it is:

My self-summary

Shh… listen. You hear that? No, not that! Listen… Do you hear that soft, slow ticking sound? That’s your biological clock. You’ve probably tried to muffle it with wine and Xanax, fluoxetine, cat fur, and Buzzfeed articles, but everyone else can hear it too, and it’s getting louder…

But time is on my side. I’m going to look like this until I’m about 40, when, despite my healthy lifestyle, a burgeoning medical career will finally give me that touch of grey (and financial independence) to propel me from a young Al Pacino to a George Clooney.

If by that time the Last Sane American Woman doesn’t make contact with me (she’s reading Camille Paglia between batches of canning on the family compound in Montana), I’ll return to the former territories of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth and find myself a bride who is prettier and more feminine, better educated, speaks more languages, and belongs to a culture that recognizes that happiness comes from living in harmony with biological and psychological realities. Then we’ll homeschool the kids, because real school is for proles.

Basically, this is your slim opportunity to get in on the ground floor – or not. We could just mess around. I’ve been described as “5 stars,” and “very enthusiastic.”

To quote the person who posted it to Tumblr: HOO DANG, WHAT A PANTYDROPPER. (Linked from my name, just in case you think I’m ill enough to make this up.)

Viscaria the Cheese Hog
Viscaria the Cheese Hog
4 years ago

If you ask someone about your sexifyin’ skills and they say “you were very enthusiastic,” that’s probably not a compliment.

Lumen8
Lumen8
4 years ago

@Redsilkphoenix:

Mrs. Hudson (Elementary) was AWESOME. I was so pleased to see how her character was regarded by the other characters on the show. Her presence and impact on the narrative felt real (to my cis-female self, anyway) and I was always happy when she popped back in to say hi. I had to look Ms. Kane up because I’d never seen her before. She’s delightful and I hope she keeps getting work.

@Alan:

…………okay, that is… somehow not at all surprising, and at the same time, HACHI-MACHI, what a nightmare. He went full monster, from 0 to 60. I reeeeeeeeally hope that woman and her boyfriend are safe from him, because I’m not expecting a lot of police presence in their lives. I’d hoped that his deleting his other post was a sign that he’d gotten a clue, but given the intensity of his fixation on her… yeah.

That he still seems to believe she’s “delusional” is… I think “troubling” is a few county lines away from being a strong enough word. That guy is obviously quite dangerous. I wish there were something we could do to help… :/

Otrame
Otrame
4 years ago

It really pisses that guy off that even the evil smelly tatted up Skankasauruses want nothing to do with him, doesn’t it.

Bina
4 years ago

accomplish the opportunity to have sex

Why is sex-having an “accomplishment”, though? Considering how commonplace and often pallid the experience is, it sure isn’t much of one. That’s why I laughed my ass off when I finally got around to (very belatedly) doffing my virginity. It was actually BORING! Anyone who thinks he’s “accomplished” something just by dipping his wick really needs to take a hard seat. Dude, the reason so many women are picky about whom they boink is because they know that boinking ain’t shit (although it IS often shitty, and made more so by not even liking the guy).

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

But time is on my side. I’m going to look like this until I’m about 40, when, despite my healthy lifestyle, a burgeoning medical career will finally give me that touch of grey (and financial independence) to propel me from a young Al Pacino to a George Clooney.

Why do misogynists always think they’ll look like George Clooney when they get older?

If you don’t look this now

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/05/18/23/28D60B0400000578-3086968-image-a-7_1431987617690.jpg

you’re not going to look like this

http://photonews.com.pk/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/GeorgeClooney.jpg

In a few decades. Sorry, bro.

dslucia
dslucia
4 years ago

@Gussie Jives:

Uh-huh… setting aside the hideous transmisogyny that other Mammotheers have rightly pointed out… how do you know who those people are? Dare we ask what you have saved on your hard drive, Mr. Jones?

Methinks he dost protest too much.

There’s plenty to mock or question about him without implying that there’s anything shameful about his possible porn preferences.

Lunetta
4 years ago

nor is there anything innocent about encouraging listeners to turn their sex organs into methods of controlling, manipulating and domineering over other people

How many of these guys have “pwned” another player, I wonder? Or threatened rape to women they want to silence and harass?

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
4 years ago

@Laugher at Bigots:

His seed is liquid fucking gold.

David’s takedown of his nonsensical “paean to his spooge” sure is. Pure gold. I laughed myself sick re-reading it.

Ellesar
Ellesar
4 years ago

Have there been any openly transgender actors/actresses on network TV besides Doubt’s Laverne Cox?

In England we have Rebecca Root and Adele Anderson, both of whom have acted on national television (as well as elsewhere, of course).

Boogerghost
Boogerghost
4 years ago

btw “a bunch of mean fatties who think they’re all that” = deffo my next band name

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
4 years ago

I don’t understand the elevated position they give sex, as if it is the only thing worth being alive for, and if you can’t have it, you should die. Sex isn’t everything in life, we aren’t amoeba or bacteria. There are loads of things you can do instead of fretting your life away over pussy. Why do they think that they are all going to be astronauts or the president, when all they want to do is cry wank over internet porn , then go out with a shot gun and kill people? That’s not how society works, patriachist or no. 🙁

Krasnaya Koshka
Krasnaya Koshka
4 years ago

Mike!

Predating even Denise on Twin Peaks, though, there was Billy Crystal’s character on Soap, Jodie. He wasn’t trans, but he almost underwent reassignment surgery so he could marry his boyfriend at one point. The whole arc was a pretty big deal for late 70s primetime.

Yes! And thank you. Soap was a huge deal in my youth. My mom lost a few friends over that (because I’m gay and some of her friends protested the networks–like actual picket signs and shouting–because of Jodie).

I think it’s super important to remember our history.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
4 years ago

They say it’s the most important thing in life mostly because that’s what society (ref: Patriarchy) teaches them. Fight the Man, for them too.

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