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Return of Kings: Female Olympic champs should get fake gold medals because women suck

All gold everything
All gold everything

Woman-hating internet garbage fire Return of Kings is celebrating the start of the Olympics by lamenting the fact that most of the athletes the US is sending to the games are women.

As regular RoK contributor John Carver figures it, using his very own system of mathematics,

this is actually a sad state of affairs. It means that the U.S. Olympic team will have less than a 50% chance of seeing a real champion, rather than a 2nd rate gold medalist from the weaker sex … .

According to Carver, women just plain suck at sports compared to men, but as I didn’t bother to read that portion of his post I can’t tell you why. Possibly cooties.

In any case, Carver feels that since women athletes will never be as good as men, any gold medals they win don’t really count. And so they shouldn’t be made of real gold.

Whenever female athletes are awarded a “gold medal” at the Olympics, it should just be a giant knockoff of that cheap Hanukkah gelt (chocolate gold coins) that Jewish children get for the holiday season. After the brief surge of excitement that they have won “gold” (and attention whore themselves with it on Instagram), they can peel off the tin foil and feast on the chocolatey goodness inside until it’s all gone. “You go girl!” ?

You can tell it’s funny because of the smiley and the always-fresh use of the phrase “you go girl!”

After all, since women are ultimately just big children, they merely deserve to have big children’s candy. The REAL gold medals should be allocated to the real champions of a sporting discipline’s top tier, which will always be men.

Comedy GOLD!

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Fabe
Fabe
5 years ago

A whole web site full of Women who prove that Mark is so very wrong

http://www.rejectedprincesses.com/

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

Did Mark get tired of the Tommy Wiseau images so he picked another new name?

Honestly, I feel a little bad for the actor who played Mark in The Room, being constantly compared to Timmark.

Handsome "These Pretzels Suck" Jack (formerly Pandapool)

@Handsome “Big Jasper” Jack, I know! I want to watch it. It’s just a case of time and other obligations. Do you know how many hours it is? It takes me a long time to ride the feels train. I need to take frequent stops.

All the episodes are 9 minutes, not counting the recent 22 minutes special, and there’s a little over a 100 episodes now, so, um…around 15 hours non stop?

There would be less episodes to catch up if it followed the traditional one show a week formula but Steven Universe has had several StevenBombs, which is when you get one episode per day for one week (Monday through Friday). There’s been 3 or 5? It also goes on hiatus for weeks and months at a time.

But currently we’ve gotten an episode a day for the last month for the Summer of Steven. After the Summer of Steven is over, season four kicks in the very next week.

And, lastly, on today’s latest episodes:

http://25.media.tumblr.com/138b79fb549b34a0d05214ca22b57138/tumblr_muko86R7Qg1sb30y2o1_500.gifcomment image

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

Thank you all for your responses to Mark.
Cracked me right up. There were actual tears.
Good times.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

The Rapacious Mr Batstove
“…Again, Mr Carver, apart from trolling from your mother’s basement, lamenting the fact you can’t get laid by posting vicious falsehoods online and generally being a pimple on the arse of society, what achievements of note do you have to crow about?”

There’s nothing wrong to live with your parents, I live with my mom and grandma, I have to because I’m disabled and there’s also nothing wrong for being a virgin, I’m a virgin. These are completely irrelevant to a person being a misognyist. I really don’t get when a guy is being a misognyist he must be a fat, ugly neck beard or mentally ill kid who lives with his parents. It makes no sense and just downplays misogny making it something that shouldn’t be taken serious. And it’s also so offensive to people who are disabled, etc.

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

Nobody gives a fuck if you get married or have kids or whatever else you think you’re a hero for abstaining from, Terrance. We care if you’re a misogynistic asshole to the women you inevitably interact with on a day-to-day basis (coworkers, customer service workers, family members), but otherwise, could not care less about you or your sexual and romantic habits.

Alex
Alex
5 years ago

Women and white knights hate beta males.

Funnily enough every woman I know never talks about beta males or such things – but I guess they could all be secretly keeping their real intentions from me – those dastardly, deceitful women….

I do love that in their crazy la-la world, all women have some kind of hive-mind, like the Borg.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
5 years ago
Ohlmann
Ohlmann
5 years ago

the problem isn’t that they are virgin, or live with their parents (which, honestly, is unlikely, based on the small sample of awful mankind I have seen). It’s that they loathe themselves for it, or for other, totally random perceived failing.

Zatar
Zatar
5 years ago

Women and white knights hate beta males.

Wait, dispite having another meaning MRA’s version of White Knights is just “Men who aren’t horrible to women all the time” that is also there view of what a Beta Male is. So why what do you mean by White Knight.

And more importantly which am I? I can’t go through life without knowing which ridiculous insult people who claim to fighting for my rights are insulting me with. These insults are a badge of honor they tell me that I’m not completely awful. I would also be willing to except “Cuck.”

LindsayIrene
5 years ago

Terrance, the whole ‘women don’t like nice guys’ moan is so fricking old. Nice Guy™. It’s been said a million times before: you aren’t nearly as nice as you think you are.

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
5 years ago

Everything I have heard about the Stephen Universe sounds like it is true.

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/steven-universe/images/4/4d/Cry_For_Help_Pearl_Crying_Happily.png

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
5 years ago

@Terrance, I’m gonna deal with you straight here, okay? No jokes or making fun. I’l try to be concise about it.

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/3/35/Fluttershy_coy_smile_S4E16.png

I’m going to also ignore some of the ideas you’ve presented. Not that I want to ignore them! It’s just much better to focus on one thing at a time instead of a jumbly rigamarole. Right now, I’m going to talk about the whole “women hate betas” thing. The “nice guys” who just can’t get a break from women that don’t want to put up with them.

Terrence, you are right in the view that women generally don’t want much to do with the “nice guys” you describe. Your reason is wrong though. You notice an objective truth (these women are avoiding me, and the guys like me. Why?) and you think of reasons why. The one that feels most “right” is the one you select. (these women must hate betas!)

That’s a common problem, especially when someone says “It’s all so clear!” The problem is, the clarity you feel isn’t because it’s right. It’s because it makes you feel good about yourself. It creates a little flood of dopamine and adrenaline from the righteous anger it makes you feel. It reinforces the perceptions you already hold, and like to hold, about yourself. It makes you feel more like you.

The problem is, it’s wrong. Truth almost never feels right, in the gut. It feels right in the math. Men are trained from a very young age to value being smart, but aren’t often given the tools to really distinguish truthfulness or to behave rationally. They go with this gut-feel, instinctual reactionary “truthiness” instead, and are praised for doing so. The feeling you have about what’s right or wrong is the right one, and it’s okay to shout and fight with anyone who disagrees. So binds the patriarchy’s shackles for men.

Women don’t hate “betas”. They give “nice guys” the cold shoulder because they are defending themselves. Because of much the same problems of perception as above, the “nice guys” feel that their actions are generous, charitable and polite, but outside of the perspective of their own head, their actions are poorly-timed, intimidating, and often downright frightening. Women turn their advances away out of fear, out of fatigue, and out of pragmatism.

Women don’t hate “betas”, Terrence. They’re just tryin’ to get through life with a minimum of injuries, a minimum of heartbreaks, and an occasional slice of pie. Just like everyone else.

Stop believing that what you feel to be true is a synonym for what is true. You’ll remain a slave to anger until you do.

leftwingfox
leftwingfox
5 years ago

Because of much the same problems of perception as above, the “nice guys” feel that their actions are generous, charitable and polite, but outside of the perspective of their own head, their actions are poorly-timed, intimidating, and often downright frightening. Women turn their advances away out of fear, out of fatigue, and out of pragmatism.

This.

I used to consider myself a “Nice Guy”. Trademarked, quotation marks and everything.

The problem is that I only THOUGHT I was “nice”.

I wasn’t a jock. It never occurred to me that nerds could be as sexist, exclusionary and cruel as the jocks were to us.

I wanted to treat women right. I never really considered that “women” were every bit as individual and varied as men.

I was all for equality and against sexism. I was just too self-absorbed to realize the difference between personal injustices and systemic ones.

I wanted to understand women. I never really separated what was being said _by_ women, and what was being said _about_ women.

I realize now that those who complain about being a hapless “Nice Guy” are simply too blind to see the sexism they’re stuck in, too selfish to realize the problems they have in attracting a partner might not be structural, but personal.

In my case, I began listening to feminists. I realized that geeks and nerds could be as vicious and exclusionary as jocks, that putting women on a pedestal was not what most women want, that many women share my interests, that the injustices I faced were but a small taste of what others had received.

I know now that my problems are my problems: I’m shy, with an unhealthy dose of social anxiety and a poor self image. It takes a Clue-by-Four to the skull to get me to realize someone might actually be attracted to me. My problem is not that I’m not rich or handsome; and it’s not the fault of women.

Some “Nice Guys” realize the disjoint between sexism and the desire to be a good person, and jettison the sexism. Others wrap themselves in the feelings of persecution and anger, and warp their beliefs into misogyny. After all, if nothing’s wrong with _me_, then the problem must lie with the women.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Alex | August 8, 2016 at 11:52 pm
I do love that in their crazy la-la world, all women have some kind of hive-mind, like the Borg.

Some advice from one Alex to another: Bigotry is not a mental illness.

Being a sexist ass isn’t a mental illness, it’s a product of a society that teaches people that cis men are superior to everyone else because penis. Full stop.

Do not throw me, and others like me, under the bus so you can feel good about othering someone who, for all we know, is perfectly sane.

And once you’ve read that bit, please refer to the comments policy about ableism, thanks.

Luzbelitx
5 years ago

There’s actually a new episode of Steven Universe coming out today (in the USA) that I’m pretty sure has Jasper in it and I’m excited.

Necroing this thread to say: holy crab! It’s most likely the episode I watched yesterday with my daughter!

It was the last one released (with Spanish subtitles), we watched it via internet (no TV at home) and it most definitely had Jasper in it.

I wouldn’t like to give any kind of spoilers (even from past episodes, because you never know who’s reading…) but my child felt empowered by how Lapislazuli handled Jasper in their last encounter, and it was indeed an educational approach to abusive relationships though a Gem metaphor.

Also, Luzbelitx Jr is heartbroken that I don’t seem to adore Steven Universe as much as she does -and mind you, I like it a lot.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
5 years ago

Nice guys in my opinion are never nice guys. I was harassed by one recently who had no sense of common decency or respect for my boundaries. I ended up feeling like I was being coerced. If somebodys fawning behaviour makes you feel uncomfortable, they are not a nice guy.

(((VioletBeauregarde))): Prominent Misanderer of the Gynocracy
(((VioletBeauregarde))): Prominent Misanderer of the Gynocracy
5 years ago

It is true, men are the superior species.

This, kids, is what we call “not even wrong”

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