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YouTube Neckbeard Exposes Anita Sarkeesian's Secret Plan to Hypnotize the World By Using The Verb "To Be"

I'm totally not hypnotizing you.
I’m totally not hypnotizing you.

Is Anita Sarkeesian secretly trying to hypnotize us all with her videos? Like, literally hypnotize us, in the “now you’re a chicken” sense?

That’s the central insinuation of an inadvertently hilarious video by YouTube blabber Jordan Owen, one of the guys behind that Sarkeesian Effect “documentary” that’s allegedly in the process of being made.

Owen’s video isn’t a particularly new one – he put it out in January – but it’s been recently resurrected by the good folks at A Voice for Men, who reposted it earlier this week, saying that it offered “very thoughtful, erudite” criticism of Sarkeesian that’s “particularly enlightening and full of information a lot of people don’t know.”

So that’s a good enough excuse for me to talk about it. Also, did I mention that the video is hilarious?

In the video, a weirdly soft-spoken Owen – he sounds as if he’s recording in the living room of his parents’ house and trying desperately not to wake anyone up – breathlessly announces that he’s going to help to “elucidate” an important piece of information that will fill in a hole in the alleged puzzle that is Anita Sarkeesian.

Owen points out that Sarkeesian apparently once worked for a guy named Bart Baggett, a huckster and self-proclaimed handwriting expert who also dabbles in Neurolinguistic Programing, or NLP, a questionable form of hypnosis based around the idea that you can hypnotize people, possibly against their will, in the course of normal conversation by embedding secret commands into the words you choose.

Ross Jeffries in his glory days
Ross Jeffries in his glory days

NLP , while largely discredited in scientific circles, has long been popular with pickup artists, who would of course love to be able to hypnotize women into doing their bidding. It was central to the ridiculous “speed seduction” techniques that a guy named Ross Jeffries began teaching in the 1990s.

Jeffries’ most mockable claim: that if a wannabe Casanova works the phrase “below me” into conversation with a Hot Babe, she will subconsciously hear the phrase as a command to “blow me” and will suddenly feel a desire to do just that.

While this particular bit of speed seduction lore has fallen by the wayside due to its sheer and obvious silliness, there’s a lot of NLP still embedded, as it were, in PUA techniques even today.

So what does this have to do with Anita Sarkeesian? Well, according to Owen, the devilish Ms. Sarkeesian is embedding secret hypnotic commands into her fundraising videos in an attempt to control our brains and empty our wallets.

Owen drags out a pdf he found by Baggett called “The Secrets to Creating Chemistry,” which Owen seems to think Sarkeesian is using as her super seekrit mind control manual.

One of Baggett’s techniques, Owen tells us ominously, is something called “Adverb/Adjective Presupposition,” which is basically a trick to supposedly get your listeners to agree with your premises by … using adverbs before verbs and adjectives before nouns. Devious indeed!

Owen quotes one of Baggett’s examples, evidently intended to show how you can successfully use Adverb/Adjective Presupposition to con a Hot Babe into bed with you:

Have you asked yourself if the unlimited potential of our relationship is what is making you so happy?

Another one I found in Baggett’s manual:

Have you naturally discovered how attractive you are becoming?

If even one single woman ever had sex with a guy who said either of these things to her first I will eat my cats. This is why people laugh at NLP.

Owen plays back a sentence from Sarkeesian’s Kickstarter video, which he thinks provide clear evidence that she’s using Baggett’s word voodoo in order to hypnotize us all. Be careful, lest you yourself become hypnotized just by reading this! Here’s Sarkeesian:

Have you ever noticed that, with a few notable exceptions, basically all female characters in video games fall into a small handful of clichés and stereotypes?

Huh. That’s actually tru ….. OH NO I HAVE BEEN HYPNOTIZED!

Owen devotes the rest of his video to uncovering more alleged evidence of Sarkeesian’s alleged use of Baggett’s alleged techniques, winding up with what he describes as “perhaps Anita’s most subtle and insidious use of these techniques” – that is, her alleged use of “embedded language.”

The phrase “embedded language” doesn’t actually mean anything, as fazr as I can tell, and Baggett doesn’t use it in his manual. Owen seems to mean what Baggett calls “magic words” – words intended to get your target all excited about you – and “embedded commands” – secret commands you can work into your conversation.

In any case, Owen posts assorted screenshots of Baggett’s lists of “magic words” and “embedded commands” and then – dun dun DUUUH! – demonstrates that Sarkeesian in fact uses lots of these words in her Kickstarter video!

This would be a smoking gun, except for one little problem: the words on Baggett’s lists are some of the most commonly used words in the English language. It would be pretty much impossible to communicate without them (or their counterparts in other languages).

Here are some the evil “embedded” words Owen finds in Sarkeesian’s Kickstarter video:

Look

Show

Imagine

Talk

Say

Understand

Decide

Some

All

Many

Most

When

After

Was

Ok, ok, I’m going to have to stop for a moment to acknowledge this last one.

JORDAN OWEN LITERALLY THINKS ANITA SARKEESIAN IS TRYING TO HYPNOTIZE US BY USING THE PAST TENSE OF THE VERB “TO BE.”

A few more of the evil voodoo words and phrases she uses:

Through

Down

On

Imagine

“In addition to”

“Have you ever”

I have a question: Have you ever watched a video so incredibly obtuse that you begin to wonder how humankind ever made it out of the caves in the first place?

Because I just did.

Owen ends his video with some comments that are far more manipulative than anything Anita Sarkeesian has ever said probably, ever, in her whole life:

Remember that the techniques Anita used in her video are those of the seduction gurus.

Wait, isn’t that use of the word “remember” an EMBEDDED COMMAND basically ordering us to accept his interpretation of what Sarkeesian was saying?

If you condemn the behavior in the form of men trying to manipulate women into the sack, then you must condemn Anita’s behavior as well because, while she is not a feminist, nor is she a gamer, nor is she a legitimate academic, she is, from a technical standpoint, a pickup artist.

Don’t PRESUPPOSITION me bro!

If Jordan Owen were the main character in Bioshock, I would ask him: Would you kindly develop a tiny shred of self-awareness?

If you’ve played Bioshock, you would know that this was an extremely clever reference to (SPOILER ALERT) a key plot point.

Crap, I inadvertently tried to hypnotize you with PRESUPPOSITIONAL WORD VOODOO in that last sentence.

Sorry! I’ll just stop right now, before I accidentally raise hundreds of thousands of dollars on Kickstarter.

Well, in a second. First, here’s a diagram from Baggett’s manual that I find sort of hilariously baroque:

bagget

And here’s Owen’s ridiculous video:

FULL DISCLOSURE: I have not shaved in several days, and I also have some videos up on YouTube (including this one of Owen’s Anton LaVey-looking pal David Aurini), so technically I am also a YouTube Neckbeard.

CREDIT: Thanks to Brooked for the meme graphic up top, and to Hellboy to alerting me to the existence of Owen’s delightful video in the first place.

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Lea
Lea
7 years ago

These must be the superior scientific understanding and reasoning ability men have that I have heard so much about.

Bwahahahahahahahahaaaa!

pallygirl
pallygirl
7 years ago

Yes, because it’s carried on the Y chromosome, which women do not have. Oh wait, the Y chromosome is a reduced version of the X chromosome, which women do have.

nemrex
nemrex
7 years ago

I never knew I could use common words to hypnotize people into getting what I want. Guess I’ll use them next time I want a raise from my boss.

Also, I love that BioShock reference.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

The simplest answer to this “idea” would be: if Sarkeesian can control minds with the mere power of her words, why is she wasting her time with video games? Surely she could earn more money elsewhere?

…Like…Maybe if she made up a religion on a bet she made while drinking beer and eating fried clams at a bar with a science fiction writer…

*Looks around nervously*

grumpyoldnurse
7 years ago

Watch it, blahlistic! They’ll get you if you keep that up!

katz
7 years ago

Well, where else are they going to put all the Katrina fridges?

Ooh, well remembered.

Puddleglum
7 years ago

On topic: So, use of proper grammar and language is hypnotic? This may explain why so many of the doodz spell so badly!

Off topic: omg, I followed the link, and I loved that comic! Thank you soooo much for sharing!

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

I wonder if MRAs think the two dot ellipses have hypnotic powers too. This could finally be the explanation for them.

gilshalos
7 years ago

Also, by posting the link on FB, I have spread Nimona to Central Europe (Luxemburg) !

kittehserf - MOD
kittehserf - MOD
7 years ago

Wasn’t Nimona great? I read it ALL yesterday.

gilshalos
7 years ago

It was beautiful. Pondering buying it as an actual book, cos I don’t want to lose it.

Loewenheim Skolem (@loewenheim)

“as fazr as I can tell”

OMG are you trying to hypnotize me by using superfluous letters?!?!?!

Seriously though, Owen has seen the fnords. He’s on to the Illumanita™.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Nimona was really good! I didn’t expect to like it so much. May indeed have to buy a copy when it comes out! Loving the change in US comics from the typical superhero styles to a more animation/graphic design influence!

RE: katz

Ooh, well remembered.

*bows* Thank you, thank you. Always remember Katrina fridges.

Bina
7 years ago

Is it because she is like way better at getting women interested in things than you will ever be? Aaaw, it is, isn’t it? Bunch of jealous PUA assholes talking out of both sides of their mouth.

That’s it! Anita is the anti-them! They must bring her down before she helps all women see through all sexist asshats — especially the kind that wear cheesy little hats! Now it all makes sense!

GrumpyOldMan
7 years ago

I am not myself a gamer (my wife and son are, to some extent), but in the course of chasing around the various right-wing attempts to claim that Obama is deliberately bringing Ebola to the US (or in fact ordered the current strain of the virus to be engineered), I came across a couple of commentaries on Gamergate. I don’t think there is anything these people say that hasn’t been said many times here, but I thought people might be interested that there seems to be fairly strong support for the opinions that are generally expressed here.

http://www.theverge.com/2014/10/8/6919179/stop-supporting-gamergate
http://business.financialpost.com/2014/10/11/serious-question-if-you-are-concerned-about-journalistic-ethics-why-are-you-a-part-of-gamergate/?__lsa=1b31-19ec

Mizuki
Mizuki
7 years ago

Who knew my study of English Grammar would have such useful person applications? Now I totally want to study hard for my difficult mid-term!
.
.
.
.
Judging from my lack of desire to do it, I still need more practice.

smitty
smitty
7 years ago

cassandrakitty: There is definitely something with the left woman’s shoulder/torso. Shoulder looks almost dislocated. First thing I noticed about the picture and then got fixated on it before I noticed how ridiculous the whole picture is.

Falconer
Falconer
7 years ago

I think the woman’s shoulder is just flexed forward. I read her visible breast as her left one at first, but I think it’s her right one.

It does look like her arm just comes straight out from the front of her chest, though. I hope they didn’t make her hold that too long. Or touch that skeevy guy too long, for that matter (more than about two seconds, by my estimation).

brooked
7 years ago

Aww, I don’t check the site over the weekend and I missed my big moment when David used my meme. I’d like to thank my parents, my 10th grade English teacher, the Academy and memegenerator.net.

Puddleglum
7 years ago

I thought the shoulder was sort of a ‘forward-dip-Betty-Boop’ thing, but done really badly.

Futile
Futile
6 years ago

I suppose Owen found himself agreeing with Anitta in regards of female objectification in gaming, and decided that the ONLY POSSIBLE WAY that such thing could happen was (“””wwwaaaaassssssss””” *spirals*) if she was hipnotizing him
Or, you know, right.

Fenton
Fenton
1 year ago

The ultimate hypnosis

Last edited 1 year ago by Fenton
Moon Custafer sees spam
Moon Custafer sees spam
1 year ago

^^ either spam, or a sneak peak at David Lynch’s new series for Netflix

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