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a voice for men antifeminism antifeminist women are these guys 12 years old? block that metaphor Dean Esmay drama kings evil women FeMRAsplaining gross incompetence homophobia icky lady fluids imaginary oppression misandry misogyny MRA playing the victim reactionary bullshit shit that never happened straw feminists straw futrelle terrorism that's completely wrong

Nuh-uh, YOU Are: Men’s Rights Activists respond to petition calling on the president to classify them as terrorists

Feminists: Always up to something
Feminists: Always up to something

So about a week ago, someone put a petition up on Whitehouse.gov asking the president to classify the Men’s Rights Movement as a terrorist group. The petition, posted in the immediate aftermath of Elliot Rodger ‘s killing spree, seems to be sincerely motivated. But it was a bad idea. The Men’s Rights movement is full of assholes, some of them potentially quite dangerous.  Still, not every MRA is an Elliot Rodger in the making, and this kind of hyperbole doesn’t help those who are trying to expose the true terribleness of the Men’s Rights movement.

After their initial outrage wore off, MRAs decided to treat the petition as a golden opportunity for self-martyrdom. Dean Esmay of A Voice for Men urged fellow MRAs – sorry, MHumanRAs – to sign it themselves, perhaps not realizing that it might prove difficult to convince the world they’re being oppressed by a petition if they’re the ones most actively collecting signatures for it. (Esmay also took a moment to compare me to Bull Connor, which seems a tad odd, to say the least.)

Well, now the MRAs are trying a new tack. Perhaps taking a tip from old school rap feuds and all the “answer records” they generated, or possibly just the childish retort, “nuh-uh, YOU are,” one AVFM commenter named Janet Wilkinson struck back against the evil feminists with a Change.org petition announcing to “The Government” that it was “Time To Class Feminism As a Terrorist Group.”

No, seriously, that was the entirety of her message to “The Government.”

 To: The Government Enoughs enough, Its Time To Class Feminism As a Terrorist Group  Sincerely, [Your name]
You’ll note that she didn’t even specify which country’s government she was talking about. She claimed to come from “Spain, United States,” so we’re just going to assume she meant the US. And maybe also Spain. Unless “Spain” is the name of a city in Alabama, or something, but somehow we doubt it.

She illustrated her petition with a Completely Authentic Documentary Photo of Violent Feminazi Misandering That’s Totally Not a Stock Photo or Anything No its Real MISANDRY IS DEATH.

This is what a feminist looks like?
This is what a feminist looks like?

But if the picture in itself wasn’t enough to win you over, she offered this powerful case against the evils of feminism. I’ve highlighted some of the most powerfullest arguments.

      Petitioning The Government  Its Time To Class Feminism As a Terrorist Group          Janet Wilkinson          Petition by          Janet Wilkinson          Spain, United States  Over the years feminism has constantly attacked men and women for choosing to live their lives the way they want to. These actions have now progressed to physical violence where we have seen feminists violently attack men who are concerned about mens issues.Repeated attacks in Canada and elseware have left many injured and maimed. Another feminist cell activated recently and is planning on attacking another talk for men in the US. Its time we stopped the violence, its time we put a stop to the hatred feminists are constantly generating. Its time we stopped womens studied courses from brainwashing women into thinking they are victims. Its time these misandric loonatics are stopped.

Huh. So feminists are maiming Canadians now? Weird. I mean, given that MRAs bring about sixty gazillion cameras to every protest they attend (“Always Be Recording”) it seems strange that we haven’t seen any photographic evidence of these maimings or even of the injuries themselves. But, what the heck, I ‘ll totally take the word of some random AVFM commenter who can’t spell the word “lunatics.” I guess Canada truly is a land of danger for men and boys.

And what’s this about “a new cell activating” to “attack” some talk by some antifeminist?

I really need to start going to more of the meetings. I’m always missing the fuuuuum stuff like this.

Also, the correct collective noun for feminists isn’t “cell.” It’s “coven.” A “school of fish,” a “murder of crows,” a “coven of feminists.”

But as always, it’s in the comments, filled with contributions from assorted AVFMers, that the MRAs really shine.

Here are some of my favorites, starting with the most popular comment in the thread. That’s MOST popular, NOT least. Keep that in mind while reading it. More people liked this comment than liked any other comment.

 Jack Troughton TORONTO, CANADA      4 days ago     Liked 11  I cannot sign fast enough a petition which sees through the institutionalized discrimination of this long-overdone movement, by now a mere coagulation of entitled prejudice and bitterness from a self-created mentality of victimhood, thrashing in confusion without any actual oppression or hardship against which to justify itself. Stop this sexism.

So …  feminism is a long-overdone coagulation of confused thrashing bitterness and prejudice? As the New Yorker likes to say: Block that metaphor!

Moving down the list, we see this comment, conclusively proving that feminism is unnecessary because prejudice is a thing of the past:

 Dene Rumsby STOWMARKET, UNITED KINGDOM      1 day ago     Liked 1  Feminism once had valid reasons for fighting for women's rights and equality but with nothing legitimate left to complain about has turned into an evil disingenuous movement of half truths, misandry and lies. Time for people who really believe in equal human rights to leave this stinking cesspit to the lesbians and man-hatersApparently this Canadian believes that the misandering is even worse in the United States than it is in the Feminazi Gynocratic Republic of Canada.

 Brandon Paul WEYBURN, CANADA      4 days ago     Liked 1  I may not live in America where the largest feminist acts are but it still makes me mad to know a guy can't live his day to day life without some power crazy woman screaming at him for saying hello to her.

Meanwhile, the somewhat implausibly named “Joe Joejoe” reported that he’s having  similar problems over in jolly old England

 Joe Joejoe DERBY, UNITED KINGDOM      4 days ago     Liked 1  Because Feminists bully me and tell me I'm a horrible human and a rapist for finding girls attractive

But this comment takes the cake. It takes the cake, eats it, and has two more cakes.

 Vasco Patricio COIMBRA, PORTUGAL      3 days ago     Liked 1  Women need to stop riding their high horse of menstruation, cognitive dissonance and revisionist history.

I can’t top that, so I’m not even going to try. Good night everybody! I’m here all week! Don’t try the veal.

 

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cloudiah
7 years ago

@becausescience:

:: standing ovation ::

wewereemergencies
wewereemergencies
7 years ago

This is how you do a parody AVFM. Bravo becausescience!

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

The sad thing is, it took me a few sentences to even realize it was parody. Oh, Poe’s law.

serrana
7 years ago

Feminsits

::dies::

kittehserf
7 years ago

Frederance Jones speaks truth! There are activated feminist terrorist sleeper cells!

http://youtu.be/VZdB0rtUmyY

katz
7 years ago

Well done, sir. Well done.

skiriki
7 years ago

Regarding girls and horses:

Back in 1990s, I actually had one proto-PUA (he had been reading some of those notorious and noxious Usenet proto-PUA manuals) and proto-biotruther tell me that girls like riding horses because it stimulates clitoris. And that horses are sort of a substitute penis we can acceptably control. And that’s why we really, really, really like horses.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

And that horses are sort of a substitute penis we can acceptably control.

So what he was saying was that all women are extreme size queens.

skiriki
7 years ago

@cassandrakitty

Pretty sure he was channeling something Freudian there, too.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
7 years ago

anti-male hate slurs like “Hey, Axe Body Spray! Worked in any coal mines lately?”

Dying right now. Thanks, becausescience 😀

Also considering using that as my new salutation to my husband, in place of boring stuff like “How was your day?” and “Hey, you’re home!”

kittehserf
7 years ago

So what was his *cough* reasoning *cough* for why men enjoy horse riding?

Falconer
Falconer
7 years ago

@katz:

I’ve never understood how horses ended up a “girly” thing. Who do I immediately think of as people who ride horses?

-Knights
-Cowboys
-Badass conquerors in equestrian statues

Here’s my thinking:

Somehow the horse is masculine when it’s part of an outfit or costume (suit of armor, shield, lance, squire; or lasso, chaps, rifle, pistol), but when it’s the object of the fantasy, that becomes girly.

The culture thinks when the horse is the object all that can be done is braid and brush, curry and comb.

Lee
Lee
7 years ago

I’m liking the scented candle cutie mark, perhaps in apple-cinnamon.

Kim
Kim
7 years ago

Somehow the horse is masculine when it’s part of an outfit or costume (suit of armor, shield, lance, squire; or lasso, chaps, rifle, pistol), but when it’s the object of the fantasy, that becomes girly.

More likely it’s that when it’s a man “doing masculinity” correctly, anything involved in that (including a horse) is right and good. If it’s a woman or girl then it’s bad and girly. Unless it’s a woman invading a traditionally male space (jockeys, jackaroos), then they are doing it half right – they get some credit for “wanting to be men” but they get a diminutive name – jockettes and jillaroos.

(((VioletBeauregarde))): Social Justice Necromancer
(((VioletBeauregarde))): Social Justice Necromancer
5 years ago

Of course the woman screaming at the man is a redhead *rolls eyes*. Subtle gingerphobia?

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