Categories
alpha males are these guys 12 years old? bad boys boner rage creepy douchebaggery entitled babies evil sexy ladies harassment irony alert men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny nice guys okcupid PUA reddit sexual harassment

Slit Ass Birch Ho: The sad tale of a nice guy thwarted

slitass2slitass3

And that is just the beginning of a wondrous little exchange between a self-described “nice guy” trying out some bad boy charm on a not-very receptive woman on OkCupid who nonetheless deals with his ridiculous assholery with aplomb.

Note to “nice guy.” You might want to reconsider some of your assumptions. And work on your typing.

I found this on the endlessly fascinating, if often deeply disturbing, CreepyPMs subreddit, one of Reddit’s few redeeming features. You can read the rest of the conversation here, and the CreepyPM post here.

220 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Arete
Arete
8 years ago

birch ho

Goddam slutty trees.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Uff da. This dude needs spelling and “how to human” lessons.

freemage
freemage
8 years ago

Just… whut?

fromafar2013
8 years ago

Don’t think it’s a birch, but it’s totes a ho.

http://www.robinsmith.net/Bikini-Tree.jpg

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
8 years ago

He was from the nice man branch of the family.

AIT
AIT
8 years ago

Wow… that’s magical.

Goddam slutty trees.

Trees. MISANDRY.

therainparade
8 years ago

I’m laughing so hard!! I didn’t realize that “slit” and “birch” were typos and I was wracking my brain trying to make sense of this new misogynistic slang!

Arete
Arete
8 years ago

Kiwi girl

He was from the nice man branch of the family.

But he isn’t going to be very poplar with that kind of attitude.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
8 years ago

Do you think he will eventually fig-ure out why?

Arete
Arete
8 years ago

Maple if enough people hand him his ash…

(Oh god, I can’t stop.)

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
8 years ago

Well, when word gets around his chances with females will be kapok.

fromafar2013
8 years ago

LOL @ split tail. My mom uses that! I always thought it was one of those quaint older generation southern things, you know, the ones you think are harmless until you know where they came from. Never gave it much thought because I have heard literally no one else use it.

katz
8 years ago

I, for one, am not pining for him.

katz
8 years ago

Not even if he gets left in the larch.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
8 years ago

Well, he won’t be getting many dates, yew know.

fromafar2013
8 years ago

PS: She only used it to describe cats when they were worked up or acting hyper (ie: “Lookit those split tailed pussy cats!”) Never any other context :/

My Mom is weird…

leftwingfox
8 years ago

He needs to spruce up his vocabulary if he doesn’t want women to needle him.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
8 years ago

And if he complains he was misunderstood, everyone will see through that old chestnut.

Arete
Arete
8 years ago

Life with is just no day at the beech.

Arete
Arete
8 years ago

Life with HIM. Tablet knows a bad pun, acts to prevent atrocity.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
8 years ago

/sigh, press him for an apology.

Arete
Arete
8 years ago

Though I do give credit, that message is in the running for the worst pickup line in all of hickory.

Newt
Newt
8 years ago

If this approach does work out, someone willow him an apology.

1 2 3 9
%d bloggers like this: