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Paul Elam on “stupid lying whores,” Rebecca Watson, and how he never claims to be a victim even though he totally is one.

Paul Elam, in a rare moment of calm

In the fast-paced, perpetually busy world of today, we don’t all have time to read every post on A Voice for Men. So here is an edited version of Paul Elam’s latest post, on Rebecca Watson of Skepchick. And whores. And how he personally doesn’t spend all his time claiming to be a victim, even though he totally is one, in case you forgot since the last time he reminded you of that.

Here’s Paul:

Whores … typical whore … Main Street walking, garden variety anybody’s whore … honest whore. … corporate whore … corporate whores … whorish sexual symmetry … stupid whore … stupid whore … whore … lying whore … whore  … lying whore … whore … lying whore … corporate whore … a lying whore can also be a corporate whore … whoring for the cause … whore … PZ Myers … stupid, lying whore … not just a lying whore who also happens to be a stupid whore … a different subspecies of whore altogether … stupid, lying whore … whore that rigorously abandons intellect, rationale, evidence, decency and compassion, and also fosters much deserved hostility toward themselves … stupid, lying whore … stupid, lying whore … .

Paul Elam, meet Tom Martin.

Speaking of stupid, lying whores, let’s discuss Rebecca Watson’s latest article … about how she and other women who trash and demonize men regularly are helpless victims, getting nasty emails and tweets from some people who don’t like it. … Once [sic] such comment came from an individual who penned, “Hope Dawkins will bestially rape you…in the elevator to hell.” …

I have a keeper file of death threats, but I never wrote an article about them. I have been hounded recently by half the media hacks in Canada …  it does not even compare to John the Other facing a gang of 20-30 assholes on the street, some wielding box cutters … 2 plus 2 equals stupid, lying, whining whore. What John and other MRAs are starting to encounter every day, and the future of what is to come, makes getting bestially raped by Richard Dawkins sound kinda funny. We just don’t get the luxury of playing the damsel in distress, nor do we want it.

There are maybe 1200 more words to his post, but I think you probably get the gist of it.

Watson’s post, by contrast, is worth reading in full.

304 replies on “Paul Elam on “stupid lying whores,” Rebecca Watson, and how he never claims to be a victim even though he totally is one.”

it does not even compare to John the Other facing a gang of 20-30 assholes on the street, some wielding box cutters

Open a new subfolder under C://My Documents/Shit That Never Happened.

By the way, after a night away from the apartment, we have come home to a blissful silence from the water pipes.

I don’t know of anybody in my immediate vicinity who practices the bagpipes, but I do play trombone in the local community orchestra.

Gosh, they say “whore” like it’s a bad thing, or something.

Mockery and ridicule infuriates these menfolk and their defenders, which is why I think Rebecca Watson’s grace and great sense of humor in the face of the shitstorm has been so infuriating for them. See also: this blog.


it does not even compare to John the Other facing a gang of 20-30 assholes on the street, some wielding box cutters

Funny, I saw a comment by one of the women who was there this day (was that here?) Anyway, they saw this guy putting up posters for A Voice for Men. They were ripping down his posters — that was the extent of the “threat” made against him. He flagged down a cop, who waved him off and told him to stop being a baby. Poster wars, lol.

So then he decided to stamp all of their posters with his AVFM stamp.

One would think, that were a person attacked by a gang of 20-30 men with box cutters it would A) make the news, these kinds of things usually do, and B) be fatal. Unless he’s saying he didn’t go to the police because they’re somehow part of the evil feminist conspiracy, which conveniently happen to be really bad at using box cutters.

Elame wishes he had a folder full of death threats. He’s not important enough for anyone to bother doing that. If he did, that’s all we’d hear about for six months. Such a drama queen.

To add, I contribute regularly to Guardian CIF. I now take it upon myself (hell, I’m so English) to question the wackier commenters when the say “feminists”, to name a few. One was honest enough to say that when he (or she) uses the term feminist they mean anyone who doesn’t agree with them. I’m thinking “lying whore” means the same.

Rebecca offering herself as a target to take the abuse off of Jen McCreight makes her a damsel in distress? Just calling this garbage out is making us a target. Where are these so-called damsels in distress?

How strange. There are ONLY four types of whore, but not one of them has anything to do with sex.

I’m sure Tom Martin is a proud mentor.

Elam: “I have been hounded recently by half the media hacks in Canada”

He wishes. He so, so, so wishes.

>Elam: “I have been hounded recently by half the media hacks in Canada”

I thought it was an Ozzi paper that called him?

I thought it was an Ozzi paper that called him?

Yeah, and instead of using that opportunity to give a substantive response, he told them he was too busy watching a movie to give a comment.

MRAs “not whining about being victims” is such a joke. These guys do nothing but. They’re all victimized by evil feminists, their ex-wives, and ‘manginas’ who are just pretending to like women to get laid! Or who are gay! Or both! It makes sense, somehow! Their defense against ‘mean feminists’ seems to be ‘let’s get even meaner and act even worse than they do! They say they can’t insult us because they do the same!’

I wouldn’t think much of a feminist group who did nothing but put up weird posters and scream about all men being evil, either. But if there are actually groups who do this, they sure aren’t the majority. There seem to be *no* MRA-types who think ‘hey, maybe acting like worse versions of what our opponents are doing isn’t actually helpful!’

Come to think of it, I have never seen Tom Martin and Paul Elam together in the same room.


So, “whore” is Paul’s favorite word, huh? LOL! I agree that being a whore is not necessarily a bad thing. If someone lives by the belief that variety is the spice of life, who am I to judge?

So telling people not to ask you to go back to their room for “coffee” with them at 4:00 in the morning when they are alone with you in an elevator in a hotel in a foreign country after you’d given a talk where you’d specifically said you didn’t like to be sexualized makes you a “whore”?

And continuing to blog and speak out for skepticism and feminism after over a year’s worth of constant abuse for having the temerity to say “Guys, don’t do that” makes you a damsel-in-distress? Calling out rape threats and sexual harassment even though you know that the trolls are going to see it as a call-to-arms and that people who ought to be your allies are going to continue to trivialize and dismiss your experiences makes you a damsel-in-distress? Standing up for yourself and what you know is right in the face of a storm of obsessive hate makes you a damsel-in-distress?

These dudes have some really weird definitions of “whore” and “damsel-in-distress”. Moreover, the make damsels-in-distress sound like total badasses. If Rebecca Watson’s strength of character makes her a damsel-in-distress, then I aspire to one day be a damsel-in-distress. I would be honored to say that I possessed some small portion of her damsel-in-distress-itude.

I wonder if eLame, Martin and the rest are ever going to wake up and smell the shit they’ve been swimming in. Probably never going to happen. At least their pathetic brain shits are good for a laugh.

I made a terrible mistake. I clicked on the link back to Paul Elam’s original post.

Why did I do that? I knew it was going to be painfully stupid. I guess I thought that this knowledge made me adequately prepared for the idiocy that I knew would find there. But I was wrong. That foreknowledge did not adequately immunize me. Paul Elam’s fuckwittery was still absolutely painful to read.

For instance,

Next, there is your stupid whore, the individual that sells out their ability to reason and indeed to add 2 and 2 if it creates cognitive dissonance with respect to their subscribed belief system. It is not dishonesty in the truest sense of the word. It’s more like a mental defect – a sort of retardation — that prevents them from confronting inconsistencies in their chosen ideology. The stupid whore constantly confuses speculation with fact and indoctrination with enlightenment. They conflate the way the world is with the way they think it ought to be, and it always makes them look, well, stupid (think most members of the two mainstream political parties, most feminists, most religious zealots, a growing number of Atheists, and maybe most of them). Again, with this type of whore we see a more or less even distribution of the sexes.

So let’s ignore the ableism and the Tom Martinesque abuse of the word “whore” for a moment. The lack of self-awareness on display here is simply stunning. I’d make some quip about the pot calling the kettle black, but I don’t think that could even begin to cover it.

There were literally like 6 whole examples of nasty remarks from people who don’t like her, and indeed some were less than sophisticated and intelligent.

Just keep that in mind. Elam is complaining about how Rebecca Watson gave only six examples of the sort of rape threats and hate mail she receives.

But one does have to wonder what she would be like under real pressure. I have a keeper file of death threats, but I never wrote an article about them. I have been hounded recently by half the media hacks in Canada, who wrote hit pieces on AVfM before ever talking to me, and only made contact as a fishing expedition for something to twist out of context as icing on their cake.

And now he’s saying that he’s a better person because he hasn’t given any examples of the death threats he says that he’s received. Dude, are you upset because Rebecca Watson gave you too few examples or because she gave any examples at all? Those are mutually exclusive positions. Pick one.

And apparently having had a flood of seething hatred poured out at you for months on end totally doesn’t count as “real pressure”. What does Paul Elam think that “real pressure is?

Paul Elam also seems to have forgotten that those “media hacks” who wrote those “hit pieces” before ever trying to talk to him actually tried to talk to him before writing those pieces. And Elam told them that he was too busy to talk with them because he was watching some movie. So he’s going to blame journalists for writing articles without talking to him first when he snubbed the journalists who attempted to contact him. Nice.

I also like how he makes so much hay of math when Watson gives, like, no numbers in her article. Except for the time of day in the anecdote about her cat, and the fact that the messages she posted were from the last couple of months. Elam is so frothy and confused, he doesn’t even know the right time to bring up the “girls are bad at math cuz girls” bullshit. I mean, does she need to post a full page of drawings of video game characters sexually assaulting her before Elam takes her seriously? Oh, wait, we already know his and every other MRA’s line about Sarkeesian’s extensive harassment. There is no excuse their rationalization hamsters cannot spin out. Harassment only matters when it’s John the Other being confronted by a gang of mangina street toughs and feminist thugs (no doubt he single-handedly fought them all off with his katana and his ninjutsu skills).

I find it absolutely amazing that those guys are STILL offended by a small and perfectly reasonable request. What the heck is wrong with them?

I find it absolutely amazing that those guys are STILL offended by a small and perfectly reasonable request. What the heck is wrong with them?

And then they expect us to believe they’ve had actual death threats… a whole file of them!.. that they’re too stoic and manly to complain about! I mean, if you are still self righteously furious and offended over “Don’t do that, guys” after a year then you would literally NEVER SHUT UP EVER if someone threatened to kill and rape you.

It would be the ultimate proof of misandry, creep shaming, and your status as a shining heroic martyr in a evil, corrupt world that refuses to acknowledge your prophet status.

We could threaten them with forcing them to step on lego bricks and this would be the worst misandrist oppression ever.

Paul Elam, I hope the local supermarket sells out of your favourite food.
Paul Elam, I hope you get a bad wrist cramp whist wanking.
Paul Elam, I hope you die… in a game, and haven’t saved for the last three hours.
Paul Elam, I hope you open a cupboard door and bang your head very lightly.
Paul Elam, I hope you are mildly inconvenienced by roadworks.

There’s some for your ‘threats’ folder.

Come to think of it, I have never seen Tom Martin and Paul Elam together in the same room.


That beard does look suspiciously pasted on.

What does Paul Elam think that “real pressure is?

In this context, I can only assume it’s when a woman says “Guys, don’t do that.” Terribly threatening and oppressive, that.

@Creative Writing Student

Paul Elam, I hope you die… in a game, and haven’t saved for the last three hours.

You monster!

@Creative Writing Student

Don’t forget the deadliest insult of all (someone else here wrote it first, don’t remember who):

I hope you step on a lego. 😀

A Day of Terrible Misandry

Paul Elam wakes up.
No woman makes him his coffee.
That’s misandry!

He goes to the shop,
The paper has a photo
Of a woman on the front.
That’s misandry!

The cashier is a woman.
She’s stolen that job
From hard-working men –

He goes to work.
Women are in his office
Flailing their arms and shrieking.
This is clearly misandry.

On his lunch break,
He sees women shopping.
Buying scented candles, probably,
Leeching off their husbands’ pay.
Why aren’t they working? Misandry!

After work he relaxes
Watching Air Force One
Oh my, what’s this? A woman!
This needs a trigger warning!

He goes online.
That… whore is at it again
Bitching about her death threats.
She has no idea what he’s gone through!
He’s suffered all this vile misandry!

He pontificates to his peons.
They understand. They’ve seen it.
All that MISANDRY!


I dunno, I was feeling poetic tonight.


My initial one was the lego, but then I realised I mentioned that in my blurb and didn’t want to repeat myself.

Creative Writing Student —
That’s to be sung to the tune of “That’s Amore,” right? 🙂

I’ve noticed that when someone uses a word far too often, it can make that word lose its meaning. After hearing “whore” a couple hundred times, it just sounds like someone shouting gibberish. Really, “whore” basically means “someone who pisses my entitled ass off” as far as these guys are concerned.

Lets pretend for a moment that everything JohnTheOther said about being attacked was true and that everything Paul Elam says about harassment is true.

A sad detail here is that Elam sees talking about this harassment as an intrinsically bad thing. As if making these attacks public would somehow degrade him as a person. Is this really how MRA’s want to construct their male advocacy? With all the proper introspection that feminist-inspired tools have to offer, Elam and their ilk want to replace it with flat subjugation of any harassment or hatred just because expressing it would be “whining?”

D: Wonderful. I think I’ll pass.


You can try but I’m only good at free verse so I don’t think it’ll scan very well 😛


If someone says a one-syllable word too much I start singing it along to the Imperial March from Star Wars. Or the Doom Song from Invader Zim.

Sorry to derail, but I’m beginning to think that living in the dorms was a bad idea.


(Also, even before you answer – about three weeks into college I was crying myself to sleep almost every night because I hated living in a dorm, found my dormmates terrifyingly “cool” compared to me, was convinced I’d never find any friends, and felt awkward and stupid and scared and like I was a fraud at being a person. About three months into college I was out late singing showtunes or arguing about philosophy in the college snack bar with a great group of friends (several of whom I’m still close to over a decade later) almost every night. I have been led to believe that this trajectory is incredibly normal. It takes time for college life to get awesome, but it generally does get there in the end, even (or possibly especially) for the freaks and geeks of the world. I don’t know if that helps, but it might.)

You know, given Elam’s history and determination to make feminists look evil, if any feminists had actually sent him death threats, I’m pretty sure he’d publish them. Why wouldn’t he?

I’m also curious about this story about JtO and the people with the box-cutters. If this had actually happened (and to be clear, if it had actually happened that would be totally unacceptable – I don’t care how much what someone says on the internet pisses you off, you don’t get to go stalk and threaten them offline) it’s unlikely he’d have escaped unscathed, so how did he? Who were these people, and why did they attack him? Is the theory supposed to be that there just happened to be 20 or 30 people who hate MRAs in his town who all knew each other who saw his videos, recognized him from his job delivering packages for FedEx or whatever, and decided to go find him? What is the scenario here?

@aworldanonymous- I had the opposite experience from Polliwog. An anal retentive roommate who put tape down the middle of the room and wouldn’t allow shoes on her side, drunken frat girls running screaming down my hall at 3AM, and my next door neighbor tried to break in while drunk one night. But I found amazing and wonderful friends, many of whom I am still friends with, and lived with a different great group of people the next year. You will do fine; any situation is survivable; and if it’s really bad, you can always go have a chat with your RA.

Also, I started reading David’s excerpt from Elam’s post to the tune of Monty Python’s “Spam Song”

Paul Elam, I hope you get a harmless but itchy rash.
Paul Elam, I hope your cat eats the little mouse thingy out of the middle of your laptop keyboard and then throws up on it.
Paul Elam, I hope you go to the library and the book you want is checked out.
Paul Elam, I hope all your friends invite you to join an RPG campaign and then pick a game system that you hate.
Paul Elam, I hope that your garden is filled with really deep roots that keep sprouting weeds and are impossible to dig out.

Paul Elam, I hope you get a papercut.
Paul Elam, I hope the dentist finds an extra cavity the next time you are there.
Paul Elam, I hope the traffic is bad for your next month of morning commutes.
Paul Elam, I hope you run out of toilet paper in the middle of a stomach bug.

I have a good one! Paul Elam, I hope that you forget where you put your keys every time you’re about to leave the house, especially if you’re in a hurry.

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