By David Futrelle
The last time we checked in on YouTube philosopher racist crackpot Stefan Molyneux, he was trying his hand at slam poetry, sort of. Now he’s become a beauty blogger. Or beauty tweeter, anyway, unleashing a veritable tweetstorm on the subject of makeup over the last several days.
I’ve been going through his tweets and have extracted these Six Fun New Makeup Tips for Devious Females.
Simulate the look of sexual arousal by painting your lips a deep red because everyone who’s had actual sex with real human females knows that their lips turn the shade of a cherry whenever they’re feeling really horny. It’s just science!
Use lipstick to arouse the male’s monkey brain, because obviously our primate ancestors wore tons of makeup. (Just don’t go too far and arouse the lizard brain because then the guy you’re trying to win might ignore you and start trying to catch nearby flies with his tongue.)
Use makeup to hide the fact that you’re a wrinkled old crone of, oh, 45 or so.
Use makeup to manipulate gullible men and extract their man-resources!
Feeling hungry? Apply lipstick at once and get some beta male dupe to pay for your $100 dinner.
Use makeup to con wealthy investors into pouring millions of dollars into your fraudulent blood testing startup!
Now, I suppose I should add that the last woman who pulled this particular long con got caught and is probably going to jail. But honestly, gals, her makeup skills were pretty basic, at best; surely you can do a better job and succeed where she failed!
COMING SOON (probably): Stefan takes aim at the dastardly tool of dude manipulation known as the Wonderbra.
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Arousal, in my experience, does not redden the lips. Lots of kissing does, though.
@surplus
I think that in addition to what else is going on mentally, you’re dealing with some fairly ordinary cognitive biases.
– The power went out three times. That’s a very small sample size.
– Clustering of random events happens a lot more than people intuitively expect.
– People tend to over-notice a cluster of three. They barely notice a cluster of two but then the third one pings the mind’s pattern-detector.
– On top of that, real clustering (not due to randomness) of power outages is not unusual. It means they’re having some systemic issue that’s taking a while to fix.
– You attach significance to the fact that each of the outages interrupted your backup, but backups was what you’ve been doing this month. If you’d been spending the month on, say, building a genealogy database, then the outages would have interrupted that instead. They’re going to interrupt *something*.
– If they hadn’t inconvenienced you, you probably wouldn’t have noticed them. By only noticing power outages that interrupt your work (that is, during a month in which you have long-running tasks), you overweight them in your probability estimates.
– You say they keep happening during the last 10% of the backup, but with only three samples that’s not all that unlikely. (Is it one in a thousand? Not really, because you have to count all the other ways an outage might have affected you that you would consider significant. If they had all happened near 50%, you would have noticed that too.) I would also gently question whether you were really in the last 10% every time, or whether that’s just the frustration speaking.
– Many of the other things you described as going on are not actually independent in terms of likelihood; they were side effects of the same power outages and thus shouldn’t be counted as suspicious coincidences.
So I’m offering this as a fourth hypothesis: you’re simply noticing more than usual all the things going wrong, because you’re already upset, but it’s really just statistical clustering and human cognitive biases.
You might want to google “frequency illusion” for background on effects like this.
@ AsAboveSoBelow:
I seem to dimly recall some ev-psych thing twenty years ago that claimed labia get redder with arousal (possibly true? I’ve never bothered to check on myself), and that lipstick is meant to attract a sexual partner by subconsciously reminding them of this?
I’m guessing the Manosphere has anatomically simplified this to “women’s lips get red when they’re aroused, lipstick is equivalent to faking an orgasm.”
I thought men were the SUPER-RATIONAL gender and women were prey to our hormones and emotions, and that’s why we can’t be trusted to leave the house. But all it takes is some colored wax, and men suddenly lose their ability to think? Hmmm, I’m not sure they should be trusted with the nuclear codes.
@Surplus
I wasn’t going to address your post because I didn’t feel like getting berated again, but right now I care more about your situation than the possible backlash.
First off, you asked for help with two specific situations, as I understand: the power cutting out and the backup failing. I am not addressing either of those, and I will not. I’m making that clear right now. Do not respond to me about how what I’m going to say doesn’t apply to those things. That is not why I’m replying to you. I can’t and don’t want to help with those. I’m also specifically not going to address your behavior towards the people who are trying to respond to you.
However, I want to address something that I noticed in your post (and something that has been a pattern from you on this blog for at least a year now). Other people have brought this up, but you responded as if they were trying to solve the problems you asked for help with. To be absolutely clear again, I am not trying to solve those problems. What I noticed is that you are extremely distressed, to an unhealthy level. Unhealthy here doesn’t mean you need to be “locked up,” so please do not mistake me on that. It just means that it’s causing you harm. You are under a lot of mental duress as a result of issues that are coming up in your life that are extremely common problems that people routinely need to deal with. That means you’ll need to deal with similar problems in the future, and you’ll likely be distressed at that point as well. I think you should very seriously consider seeing a therapist, as they can help you to handle these setbacks with much less stress and anxiety around the situation. I can’t say what specifically they will be able to do for you, as that’s something that will require a professional assessment, but please understand they have a lot of tools available to help you to handle these stressors in a healthier manner, so that you can deal with these everyday setbacks without it feeling like a crisis or something out of your control.
Please, please consider this. Your current solution of coming to the commenters of this blog for assistance with these problems is not working (and, as Viscaria noted, unfair to us). We can’t help you with this. You need to talk to someone better suited to help you. I don’t know much about the Canadian healthcare system. Can anyone suggest a helpline for connecting with a mental health professional? Or would the one Rhuu already suggested do that?
I doubt that Surplus will use this and I kind of regret taking the minutes out of my life to Google it, but here is a link that can be accessed to look into mental health services in Ontario:
https://ontario.cmha.ca/document-category/services-and-supports/
Stefan Molyneux is fit; Fatrelle is obese. I believe that is a sufficient rebuttal to fatboy’s character assassination.
@Surplus
I’m going to suggest something radical. It doesn’t matter what’s causing your problems. You’ve identified all of the likely causes and discarded them all. Stop running circles in your head trying to identify a source.
If it’s a sudden decrease in skill or mental capacity, you can’t do anything about that. You can only work with what you’ve got.
If you’ve angered a super villain level adversary or the government, considering limited resources, you can’t do anything about that. You can only work around the system.
If it’s *just* phenomenally bad luck, you can’t do anything about that. It will pass eventually.
Let go of trying to figure out *why*. Save your energy to figure out how. How can you work around your obstacles and accomplish your goals? How can you leverage community resources to get what you need?
Unfortunately, I’m not familiar with the Canadian health care system or your specific community.
In my community, I’d work with the public library, the renter’s association, the technical college, and the community healthcare resource. Get to know the administrative assistants. They know EVERYTHING and can help you identify ways to work with the system.
Another thing that really stinks about your situation is that having little money and little emotional reserve (due to constantly dealing with nonsense) makes it harder to access resources. You’re stuck doing more work to get access fewer resources. I’ve found it ironic that when my health reserve and energy are the lowest, I’ve had to put in the most effort to get healthcare, physical and mental.
Sometimes things are just hard and all you can do is break them down into smaller do-able tasks. No magic solution, but wishing you well.
@Surplus
I’m sorry all this stuff is happening to you. From what you’ve said, it sounds like you need more help than an online community can provide. Good luck in seeking out IRL help you feel comfortable with.
On the subject of the OP
I’m now in my late forties and, as a cis woman, I’ve had an interesting (if only to me) relationship with makeup.
In my teens I rarely wore any, unlike most of my friends. I was the one that never had trouble getting in to the nightclub underage, which I’m pretty sure was due to minimal or no makeup compared to my friends’ full face. Because underage girls try too hard, and I didn’t look like I was trying. Also one school friend wore makeup every day, until a family tragedy, and she suddenly stopped. She was 16 and everyone commented on how haggard she looked. But it was to do with what we were used to seeing. She was gorgeous with or without makeup.
In my twenties and thirties, I’d wear lipstick to work meetings. But it was more part of a ritual of being professional than anything else. I’d go to maybe one party a year where I felt I should be dolled up, and all that meant was I bought a load of makeup once a year that got used once and made me feel like a clown.
Then, in my early forties, I had a revelation. I had been telling myself I didn’t wear makeup because it was a patriarchal imposition. And while I still think that’s part of it, the truth of my decision was more a fear of trying to participate in the “looking attractive” thing and finding out I wasn’t very good at it. So I spent a few years wearing dresses to work occasionally and, after some evenings wearing makeup to watch tv in my pjs, just to get the hang of it, wearing makeup to work. And I had a bizarre conversation with a slightly tipsy colleague in the pub who said “wow, you’re glowing!”. I said, “thank you, yes, it’s because I’m wearing makeup”, and she said makeup couldn’t achieve that as I was glowing from within. But, judging purely from my own experience, makeup does give you oomph, particularly if it’s a none to all transition.
Of course I’m now a dog walker for a living and makeup (and showing curves) is an irrelevance as the dogs don’t care. (That’s not quite true. A lot of dogs, in my experience, react to makeup with “you have some dirt on your face, let me fix it for you”.) But I have become a “fake it until you make it” fan and will put on a lipstick to walk the dogs if I’m particularly low. Plus I can wear a red lips now and forget I’ve got it on, rather than feel like a clown. The main thing is that makeup is now an option for me, if I feel like it, and that can surely only be a good thing. Oh, and for obvious reasons I’m way better at putting SPF on everyday.
Molyneux knows nothing about women’s motivations. But it’s fun to hear him try, all by himself.
Wow, Sack, that’s the most original and insightful comment I’ve ever read, anywhere! And I’m guessing you look like a combination of Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Justin Timberlake.
@Rhuu – Yes; I’ve witnessed this and I agree it’s frustrating. I didn’t think wanting people to solve all their (his?) problems was a joke. I meant the part that some other commenters interpreted as paranoia, e.g. thinking a malevolent force is denying you oatmeal cookies. It registered to me as irony, but I could be wildly off base.
@Rhuu, @Surplus – I’m sorry if I upset either of you. If I’ve misunderstood, it’s because I’m filtering things through my own myopic lens.
(warning: personal digression)
The structure of these conversations feels like the ones I’ve often had with my family, where I was the frustrated, talky one, wanting them to say something, anything, that would make me feel better. I would ask things like, “Why am I a failure? Why am I not organized?”
Then, when they said something either denying my status as a failure OR admitting that, yes, I might be slightly disorganized, I’d usually find the statement unsatisfactory and start arguing with them.
It was easy to recognize after the fact that I was the problem. Me and my mood. Obviously, communicating like that was really hard on them and I shouldn’t have done it.
But when I was in that mood it was really, really hard to get out of the loop. Sometimes I would argue with them for an hour or more.
One of the things I did to hold their attention would be to say over-the-top stuff…nonsense things or wild ideas. Sometimes it’d sound like I was depressed and suicidal, other times I’d try to be funny to cheer myself up.
…Now, I’m not saying you’re like that. I’m also not saying that my own problems (anger/anxiety/ADHD) were ANY excuse to inflict emotional abuse on my parents when I was a teen and esp. a young adult.
I’m just saying that 1) this is why I interpreted things this way and 2) I recognize what it’s like to be in a sort of a loop where any answer seems inadequate, and I empathize.
That’s what I thought early on (over a year ago), but Surplus has made it clear over time that he is absolutely not joking. If he means it as sarcasm or irony he’s never indicated as such in any of his replies even when we spend pages and pages taking him very seriously. Did you read his reply in this thread? Which, I might add, he posted after you suggested he was being ironic/hyperbolic? It does not seem to me like the reply of someone who is being hyperbolic.
@Sack
And I actually wear lipstick, none of it red. I know about it a lot better then old Duckworth with the twitter account.
@Sack
It’s actually not! Shocking as it may be, it is possible for thin people to be wrong about stuff and fat people to be right about stuff.
@Weatherwax
I found so much to relate to in your comment, but particularly this:
I feel like that all the time. Thanks for sharing.
@Sack
Believe what you like, but that won’t make it true.
In fact, your argument is pretty much the worst argument I’ve ever read — and I’ve read arguments from lots of MRAs. You’re not even trying, are you.
To state the self-evident, a person’s weight does not affect the credibility of their assertions.
@Sack
“Stefan Molyneux is fit; Fatrelle is obese. I believe that is a sufficient rebuttal to fatboy’s character assassination.”
Hahahaha. Futrelle is perceptive and amusing, while Molyneux is a malevolent dimwit. Trust me mate, these factors are rather more important that their respective size.
@Sack
No amount of being “fit” will make him right, you know.
Also, fit or not, I find his twitter profile reminiscent of a smug testicle. Not hot.
Lainy – I had such a great time taking dance (it was two types, Polynesian and tap) and the recital was both nerve-wracking and fun. I always wanted to take piano, too. Maybe someday, I will, now that I have access to a large electronic keyboard. Harp would be awesome, too, but I don’t have the space, alas.
Re: Surplus – I’m wondering if certain things in Canada are like they are here in the US; specifically if poorer communities are under-maintained vis-a-vis the power grid (if Surplus lives in such an area) and whether that could explain the power going out all the time? I know this can be an issue in some US cities.
I only mention this because it always helps me to have a plausible explanation for things that seem strange or targeted only to me.
I read about a quarter of the first comment and none of the second.
@Sack – That makes just as much sense as saying, “Tall people are better at algebra than short people” – i.e., none.
…
@kupo – Oh, I wasn’t saying I was correct at first. I’m wrong a lot of the time! I was just trying to explain how I interpreted things based on my own experience.
Now that I think of it –
@Surplus – It’s pretty common for people to interpret things from their own experience. That should be enough evidence that we’re not your “NPCs” (why have so many NPCs with complicated backstories that aren’t relevant to your game experience???)
So please don’t think Knitting Cat Lady was saying you should be “locked up” as a punishment. They were speaking from their own experience with mental illness (which may or may not relate to your situation) just as my neuro-whateverness may be similar or completely different from yours.
I don’t mind having a friendly conversation. If David has time and you would like, I could ask him to send you my email address. Maybe you don’t want that. Maybe you can’t stand me, which is perfectly OK! But that offer is open.
(Just keep in mind that I probably can’t solve tech problems, plus I do have ADHD + things to do at specific times, so I’m not always quick at answering.)
Hambeast:
Au contraire! Have you seen the Harpsicle? https://harpsicleharps.com/ They’re great little harps that fit into an airplane’s overhead bin. One of my friends just took hers to England. They’re more expensive than most small “rosewood” harps you find on, say, eBay, but their quality is much better.
Two sources for inexpensive “just to try it” harps:
https://www.backyardmusic.com/Harps.html
https://waringmusic.com/product/waring-harp/
Both have cardboard soundboxes, but they sound pretty good, in my opinion. There are videos on YouTube where you can hear the harps being played. I love my harps and think everyone should have the chance to play.
Missed the edit window somehow.
Two other sources for inexpensive “just to try it” harps:
https://www.backyardmusic.com/Harps.html
https://waringmusic.com/product/waring-harp/
Both have cardboard soundboxes, but they sound pretty good, in my opinion. There are videos on YouTube where you can hear the harps being played. I love my harps and think everyone should have the chance to play.
My workplace is dominated by women, and it’s pretty chill. We clock in, and we power through so we can all get out within 8 hours. My boyfriend works in a hyper-manly construction setting. His reports that so-and-so went on a huge diva tantrum, stomping and throwing tools, then spent the rest of the day gossiping and pouting, leaving in a snit or getting sent home for trying to settle things with fists are so commonplace, I’m amazed they get anything done.
@Troll: No, U.
Au contraire! Have you seen the Harpsicle? https://harpsicleharps.com/ They’re great little harps that fit into an airplane’s overhead bin. One of my friends just took hers to England. They’re more expensive than most small “rosewood” harps you find on, say, eBay, but their quality is much better.
Two sources for inexpensive “just to try it” harps:
https://www.backyardmusic.com/Harps.html
https://waringmusic.com/product/waring-harp/
Both have cardboard soundboxes, but they sound pretty good, in my opinion. There are videos on YouTube where you can hear the harps being played. I love my harps and think everyone should have the chance to play.
Harpplayer here. If you do decide to go for a lapharp do not! buy the rosewood harps on e-bay. The levers on these harps are pretty bad and the sound is really bad. They are not made by trained harp builders and one should avoid these harps like the plague. The harpsicles are pretty good, as is the Camac Bardic harp or the Triplett Christina Therapy harp (this one is more expensive though).
No, the harp-shaped objects from Pakistan are not a smart buy.
The left are the snowflakes? Imagine being triggered by fucking lipstick. My guess is Stephan happened upon a woman 863 years too young for him, she was wearing lipstick, he got completely ignored by her, and andropause took its natural course.