By David Futrelle
Let’s take another trip to the Am I the Asshole subreddit, where a young father has come forward with a simple question: “[Am I The Asshole] for wanting another child?”
You’ll be shocked and stunned to learn that the question isn’t quite so simple after all. Admitting that his particular quandary might prove “controversial,” the Reddit daddy, calling himself iwntanthrkid, explains his situation:
When my wife and I got married we agreed that we would have 2 kids unless both were girls, then we’d have a 3rd to try for a boy.
Already I don’t like this guy.
I’m a guy’s guy and I grew up with only brothers so I feel strongly that I want a son to bond with. That’s not to say that I don’t love my daughter equally. I just want to raise someone to follow in my footsteps with sports and girls and stuff.
Uh, the first illusion, or at least one of the first illusions, you should give up when you have kids is the idea that you can and/or should raise them to “follow in your footsteps.” They’re not little clones of you. Let them make their own paths in life.
After some convincing, my wife agreed to this but said that if the 3rd kid was a girl, we’d stop trying.
“After some convincing.”
Anyway, we ended up having one boy (8 years old) and one girl (5 years old). This background is important because you need to know that having a 3rd kid was something that was on the table.
Oh crap, now it’s going to get really bad, isn’t it.
Last month, our son told us that he likes boys. This is totally fine,
Yeah, then why are you writing to Reddit about it?
I’m not a homophobe, but I’m starting to feel like I want to have a 3rd kid so we can try to have a straight boy.
I love my son more than anything and I wouldn’t love a straight kid more than him, but at the end of the day I wanted to be able to bond with one of my kids over traditional masculine stuff, which includes women.
What the fuck, dude. First of all, obviously you ARE a homophobe. And second, what the fuck do you mean by “bonding” with a son over women? Are you going to go to Hooters together and ogle the waitresses’ boobs? Are you going to tell him in graphic detail about all the hot babes you’ve banged? Are you going to say creepy things about the girlfriends he brings home?
Trust me, no boy gay or straight wants to hear his dad’s horny opinions about women.
My wife doesn’t think that this is a good reason to have a 3rd kid.
Well, your wife is right, and you’re damn lucky she even puts up with your sad ass.
She said that she would be open to having a 3rd kid but that she finds my reasoning disgusting and she doesn’t think she can go through with it knowing the reason for me wanting one.
Good. I’m surprised she even wants to stay married to you.
I don’t think she understands how special it is for a father to have a son who can follow in his footsteps.
Fuck you.
Am I the asshole or is she overreacting?
The AITA subreddit collectively came down on the “asshole” side of this question, and several of the commenters suggested that his wife should probably divorce him, pronto. I can’t say I disagree with them. He’s going to be a terrible father to his gay son. And, I imagine, to his daughter as well.
LGBTQ kids, like all kids, deserve to be raised by parents who not only love them but also don’t secretly resent them for not being little clones of them.
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! Here’s some brain bleach.
Ok, that last one isn’t specifically a Pride Month gif, but come on, it’s a dog driving a mower!
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@Jackson Ayres:
Thank you!!
all the people now saying the sexuality of the kid doesn’t matter? then why did so many people feel the need to post that they know better than the child? and then defend that position? and can’t you see how even if the child’s sexuality is not relevent to the story – the fact that people here decided that they needed to post that is a really bad sign?
you should believe children when they tell you stuff, you listen to them, telling you things and hoping you will listen is the *best* a child can do when they have something important and serious to tell. they are basically powerless and rely on the adults around them to listen to them and treat them with respect. I honestly don’t care what your personal experiences are – because in general, ignoring children, telling them they don’t know, and you know best, is really really harmful.
and kupo made a really good point – why is this single thing about the child liking boys the ONLY THING people decided they doubt in the story from the father? just think about that for a second. actually ask yourself honestly and try not to be defensive.
it actually worries me to see so many people decide they know better than a child they didn’t meet or speak to, and for what reason? if it’s not relevant to the story WHY did so many people feel the need to focus on it?
@ Robert:
Me too. I’ve had the occasional conflict with my dad, but he’s fundamentally a kind and decent person.